Story four in the innapropriate name series-A Smaaaallll aubergine!

In the villa...

Tifa-Hi Yuffie. (Spots a bottle of pills) What are those for?

Yuffie-Oh, it's like, my anti mutation pills, cos I've been changing into Mecca Yuffie soooo much lately that I'm like, totally sick of it. GAWD!

Tifa-Oh, right. So, are you coming to Sephy's party tonight?

Yuffie-I suppose. I thought he was still a bit sore about the whole, y'know, killing him thing or something. Like, totally.

Tifa-Uh huh. Oh well, might as well go. See you there. Bye!

Yuffie-Like, bye, or something, (Takes another pill.

At the party...

Sephy-Come in everyone (evil snigger) Mwah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!! Little do they know that the glasses I'm using for the punch aren't clean! Those fools will SUFFER!

Aeris-Tifa?

Tifa-Yes?

Aeris-Will you polish my halo for me, I can't reach it.

Tifa-Sorry, I've got to go fish Cait Sith out of the toilet again.

Aeris-(Sprouts horns and a tail) Well then, you BITCH, If you don't want to be my friend, just say so!

Tifa-Okay, PMS woman!

Aeris-(Strikes Tifa dead with a breath of fire, then returns to her normal self)

Aeris-Oops, silly me. (Giggles) (Flies out of the window)

Sephiroth-You burned my carpet! Mother will kill me!

Cid-Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! More soup please.

Sephiroth-I'll kill you all!!! (Flies out of the window)

Barret-Well, now Sephy's gone, what do we do?

Cait Sith-(Voice muffled due to being head first down the toilet) Let's trash the place!

Everyone-Yay!!!! (Rips apart Sephy's house)

The next day at the villa...

Sephiroth-You are all cabbages!

Cloud-Why?

Sephiroth-You trashed my house and locked mother in the airing cupboard!

Cloud-Oh, that.

Sephiroth-I hate you all!(Flies out of the window)

Outside...

Sephiroth-Mwah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!! Little do they know that I have spiked Yuffie's anti mutation pills with my own special mutation formula!(Exits, cackling)

Inside...

Cloud-Gods, I'm bored. (Turns on the TV)

News announcer-News just in! Soup has been banned for being evil!

Cid-GASP!!!! (Lapses into a coma)

News announcer-Heinz, Bachelors and Cup-a-soup are already out of business!

Cid-ARGH!!! (Jumps out the window)

Tifa-Oh no, he'll be killed!

Cloud-Don't be stupid, this is the ground floor.

Tifa-Oh yeah.

Cid-(Outside) The fascists must be stopped!

Cloud-He's flipped.

Yuffie-I think I need another pill. Or ten. (Empties bottle down her throat) Hwup! (Grows another pair of arms and turn green) Roagh!

Tifa-Oh hi Yuffie!

Yuffie-ROAGH! BLAGH!

Tifa-Hmmm, you look different. Don't tell me, new shoes right?

Yuffie-GRAGH!

Tifa-Thought so! Smell ya later!

Yuffie-BLAUGH! (Jumps out of the window and starts to kill random passers by)

Tifa-Well isn't that lovely.

Sephiroth-(Appears) Fools! Can you not see that your beloved friend Yuffie has been mutated by the very pills that were trying to prevent her from doing so?

Everyone-(Doesn't care)

Sephiroth-She will kill everyone in sight, meaning eventually the world will be min! Mwah ha ha ha ha ha!!!

Everyone-(Doesn't care)

Sephiroth-Hello? I'm wxplaining my evil plot here!

Aeris-Well, if none of you are going to do anything about it, I'll go and find her! (Flies out of the window)

In the shopping centre... Yuffie is tearing stuff up.

Yuffie-Like, ROAGH! I feel so powerful! Like, quake before me, puny humans! GAWD!

Aeris-(Flies up to Aeris's head)

Yuffie-ARGH! A pink wasp! (Swats at Aeris)

Aeris-Yuffie, It's me!

Yuffie-Oh.You.

Aeris-You shouldn't use your powers for evil! They are a gift! You should use them to spread peace, joy and happiness throughout the world!

Yuffie-Give me one good reason.

Aeris-I'll give you my mastered Knights Of The Round materia...

Yuffie-Peace and love and happiness! Tra la la la la!!! (Returns to normal and skips back to the villa)

Back at the villa...

Jenova-Where is that no-good son of mine?

Sephiroth-(Flies through the window) Here I am, mother!

Mecca Yuffie-Argh! Ugly wasp! (Swats Sephiroth back through the window)

Cid-(Sobs) What the $%^$ am I gonna do? I'll die without my soup!

Barret-Ahhh, quit ya moanin', foo.

Sephiroth-(Flies back in minus a few teeth)

Jenova-And what time do you call this, young man? You expect to just fly back in here and have me let you get away with it? What kind of mother would I be if I did that? You're grounded for two years!

Sephiroth-Curses!

DA END

Cid-Wait! What about my soup!

Barret-Here ya go, foo'!. (Hands him a mug)

Cid-Mmmm... Blech! Engine oil! My throat's bleeding!

Barret-Here ya go, foo'! (Hands him a bottle)

Cid-Hot sauce! I'm burning up!

Barret-Here ya go, foo'! (Hands him a bowl)

Cid-Yuck! Goldfish water! Antidote, antidote!

Barret-Here ya go, foo'! (Hands him a bottle)

Cid-AAARRRGH, Vinegar!

Barret-I could do this forever.

REALLY DA END!