I don’t think I could ever describe how much it hurt to have to watch the one person I loved more than anyone on this earth fall right in front of my eyes. I knew the fall might very well kill him, that I might never see him again, that I never told him how I felt... I really messed up this time.
I sat on the train with my hands over my face. Tears were pouring from my eyes and there was nothing I could do to stop them. It’s kinda like when the tap gets stuck and you pull so hard on it but it just won’t stop dripping. That’s how it felt. No matter how hard I tried I can’t stop the tears, or the pain.
The noise of the train was so loud, yet to me it was like I was in a different world and the noise of the train was a faint, drowned hum. This different world was an awful place. I just kept replaying the whole event over and over in my head, trying to see if there was anything I could do to stop it. It’s was as if I believed I could turn back time, and if I can think of a way to fix things, I could.
“It’s gonna blow! Lets go, Tifa!”
How could Barret want to go, and just leave him there? I remember the panic running through me. He was so near yet so far, I just wanted to help him.
“Barret! Can’t you do something?” I had asked him. I knew there was nothing he could do. That was when the tears started. I didn’t need to hear Barrets answer. I already knew it.
“Not a damn thing.” He had said. He sounded so calm. I on the other hand was panicking. Barret’s calmness just made me feel more urgent.
“This can’t be real.” I kept telling myself. “I’m gonna wake up next to Cloud and it’s all gonna have been a terrible dream. I remembered waking up next to him that morning. How could I have been so happy only a few short hours ago? For the first time in my life I had felt complete, everything was right. It was felt as if as long as he was there with me, I didn’t care what happened. Just as long as I knew he was safe I would be happy.
I remember turning to look at Cloud and thinking what a fool I had been for not telling him how I felt. How could I have waited so long? I’m so stupid!
“Cloud!” I said through tears, my voice and body visibly shaking.
“Please don’t die! You can’t die! There’s still so much I want to tell you!” It was as if me telling him this might magically make him come back and everything would be fine. I remember him looking at me, his eyes staring into mine. What if I never saw him looking into my eyes again? Why did this have to happen? Why?
“I know,” He had said gently. He knew, but how much did he know? Did he know I loved him? If he was still alive, would he realise that he meant more to me than anything in the world, that him coming back to me was worth it? He then looked at me, his expression soft.
“Tifa...” his tone was soft too, like he had something important to say, as if this was the last time I would ever see him. I begged inwardly that it wasn’t the last time I would see him, promising to myself over and over again that I would never treat him badly, that I would do anything for him as if this would convince whatever power that watched over us to rescue us from the situation.
Now I think about it, I wonder what he was going to say? Was he about to say he loved me? I should hate Barret for interrupting him, but he was concerned. He wanted to get us both out of there before the bomb went off.
The man has a daughter for god’s sake, he had to think of her, I probably would have done the same in the circumstances, but at the time he seemed so heartless and distant.
“Hey, you gonna be alright?” Barret asked him.
“Shit! Can’t hold on much longer Barret... Hurry!” He had replied. I remember during this conversation I had just sat there shaking my head, not believing... not wanting to believe what was happening.
“Don’t go cryin’ like a woman.” Barret replied. How could he be so heartless? I guess it’s just his way of dealing with things. “There ain’t nuthin’ I can do for ya. Ya gotta get yourself outta this one.”
“Barret...”
“Awright then, later.” I just couldn’t take my eyes off Cloud the whole time. I could feel the tears pouring down my face; my whole body convulsing. Then he fell. Every instinct inside me told me to jump after him. It’s funny, it was such a long way down, but I just had to be with him so badly I didn’t care. I don’t think I would ever do that for anyone else. I tried to go after him, but Barret stopped me. When Cloud was out of sight I folded into Barrets arms. I couldn’t move, I couldn’t talk, all I could do was cry.
I remember Barret lifting me off the ground and running with me right out of the reactor. It was all like a dream, it happened so fast and in such a blur. I remember the sound of the explosion, but I didn’t look back. I couldn’t look back. We had then got on the train and Barret had sat me down, and I just sat there, numbness penetrating my body and mind. Alive, but without the person who makes living worthwhile.
The train came to a stop. Barret gently put his hand on my back. How a tough man could be so gentle, I don’t think I will ever understand. It’s probably that fatherly instinct thing.
“Come on, let’s get you back to the 7th heaven.” He said quietly. I wiped away my tears and nodded. We got off the train and made our way back.
The others could tell I had been crying, the looks on their faces told me that. I looked down. I couldn’t face anyone right now.
“Where’s Cloud?” Jessie asked quietly, and I felt the tears come flooding back. I just wanted to be alone, just wanted Cloud back. I ran to the lift and made my way down. I sat down in a corner of the room, put my face in my lap with my arms around my knees and just cried, replaying it over and over again in my mind like it was some sort of punishment, and I deserved it. I was the one who made him come on the mission. If I hadn’t he would still be alive now. Yes, there might have been a slight chance that he has survived but I had to be realistic. I didn’t want to be realistic. I didn’t want this to be real. It certainly didn’t feel real.
I don’t know how long I sat there for before I heard footsteps. I didn’t look up, I didn’t need to. I could tell it was Marlene.
“How are you feeling?” She asked, and I didn’t reply. I didn’t mean to be rude but it just seemed like an obvious question with an obvious answer and I couldn’t face talking to anyone at that moment. I didn’t feel like I could. “Stupid question I guess,” she said, perceptively. “I brought you some soup, you didn’t have breakfast and it’s well past lunchtime.” I could smell the soup, and it smelled good but I just didn’t feel hungry, though I knew I should eat something.
“I’m okay.” I whispered, even though I wasn’t.
“Well I’m gonna leave it here anyway. If you get hungry it’s here.”
“Thankyou.” I said. My voice sounded odd, quiet, distant. I hadn’t used it since Cloud had fallen, but it felt hoarse and overused, like talking was an unnecessary chore.
“Were all going out now. Daddy says I can come this time because it’s not dangerous, but I guess you don’t want to come with us.”
“No, I’m fine here.”
“Sometimes when people feel sad a shower makes them feel better.” Marlene advised. I wished it were that easy. “Daddy says Cloud will be fine, he says that Cloud is not the kind to just give up.” I felt her hand rest on mine “and neither are you.”
I listened to her footsteps as she walked to the lift, then to the noise it made as it took her up. What she said made sense, I shouldn’t just give up on him, but I felt so down. It felt as if it was no use getting my hopes up, because it was more likely to upset me then if I never saw him. I decided that maybe I should have a shower, it might help clear my head. Wiping my eyes I made my way to the bathroom. The warm water hitting my body felt so refreshing, but inside I was still torn up. I had managed to stop crying for a bit, but sure enough the tears came back. Didn’t they ever stop? Wasn’t there ever a point where all the tears in you just finished and you had to stop crying? I tried to pull myself together and washed my hair and body.
I got out of the shower and wrapped one towel around myself and one around my hair. I took my clothes and made my way downstairs. I hated changing in the bathroom, the floor was always wet and the bathroom was so small and cramped. That was the good thing when the others went out, I could get changed downstairs. I made my way down and started to rub my hair with the towel to dry it, I then picked up my brush and combed out any knots.
“Concentrate on what you’re doing,” I told my self over and over, but it was no good. I dropped the brush and put my face in my hands and cried.
“Cloud...” I whispered. “I love you Cloud. Be okay, please be okay.” I was sobbing out loud so violently I was sure my heart was breaking. Suddenly I was pulled out of my thoughts by what sounded like a laugh. It was a man’s laugh, and not a very nice one. Almost evil. I could feel my heartbeat quicken and I glanced around with fearful eyes. I looked in the mirror, scared to turn around. Something caught my eye that I hadn’t noticed it before. When we got up in the morning one of us (usually me or Marlene) folded all out blankets away and put them in a closet, but they were all piled on top of each other on the floor. My heart beat faster and faster, thudding loudly against the wall of my chest until all I could hear was the frantic beat of my heart and the blood rushing through my head with a dull roar. It was as if someone was… no I didn’t want to think it. I tried to convince myself that no one was hiding under the blankets. But I still got up very slowly, not daring to turn around.
“Just casually make your way to the lift,” I thought to myself. I was clutching tightly onto the towel I had around my body. It was pretty secure but I guess I just need something to hold onto. Then I heard it. I didn’t want to turn around and see. I was in no state to fight anyone. I tried to run but I felt someone grab my hair and pull me violently towards them. It hurt so much and I felt my hand go up to my head as I screamed. I could hear mocking laughter ringing in my ears. I was struggling to get up, but my attacker saved me the trouble by pulling me to my feet by my hair. My heart was pounding and all the time I was asking myself who this person was and why they wanted to do this. All I wanted to do was escape.
I was turned around roughly, was brought face to face with the man who had come onto me in the bar the other night. Fear filled me as I remembered his promise to me
“I’m gonna screw you and kill you!” His words repeated themselves over and over in my head and there was nothing I could do to stop them. He had a wicked smile across his face,
“Judging from your expression, you remember me.” He said.
“No...” I whispered. This was not happening. When he had threatened me I didn’t think twice about it, all I could think off was Cloud (Cloud...). He laughed,
“Oh yes” He shouted as he slapped me across the face and threw me to the floor so violently I banged my head. My vision blurred and my head felt as if it was being torn apart from within as pain ripped through it. I tried to focus but it was nearly impossible. I let out a groan, but that was all I could manage. I could hear his mocking laughter, which seemed to be getting louder, yet more distant at the same time. He bent over me, and I felt like an animal caught in the headlights of a car, weak and exhausted, unable to resist yet unable to look away.
“It’s kind of hot in here don’t you think? How about I help you off with that towel?” He asked. I got the distinct feeling I had no choice. Before I had a chance to reply I heard a voice that brought more relief than I’d ever felt in my life.
“I don’t think so.” I heard the shots from Barrets gun and watched in horror as the man fell backwards. I heard my own screams as Barret raced to my side and put his arm around me.
“Barret...” I said through sobs, “I was so scared...” I held onto him and cried, shuddering and shaking as the sobs wracked my body. I just kept thinking how that could have been me on the floor dead.
“Are you alright? Did he hurt you? Did he rape you?” I heard the familiar sound of Jessie’s voice, which at that moment was filled with concern and shock.
“ You got here just in time.” I said through sobs. The others were talking but I couldn’t hear what they were saying .My sobs drowned out their voices. I felt Barret lift me and lay my head on a pillow, then I felt someone drape a blanket over me. It was warm, but provided little comfort to the pain and shock I was feeling. I curled myself up as tight as I could. I just wanted to disappear so then maybe the pain would stop too. I cried so much I was sure I was going to just split into a million pieces, my head was spinning with voices, sounds and memories ...
...I opened my eyes. I could hear the sound of Barrets snoring. It wasn’t annoying like it usually was. It was… comforting, probably because it was so familiar. At some point, I must have fallen asleep, I couldn’t remember when. My head hurt, and so did my arm. I lifted my arm to inspect the damage. Nothing too serious, just a scratch and some bruising. I guess I’ll live. I suddenly remembered last night. Cloud, the guy from the bar... I sat up quickly and looked around me. His body wasn’t there anymore. There was no evidence of it ever being there. I didn’t know what they did with the body and I didn’t want to know. I looked at the empty space beside me. I put my hand there as if it would make Cloud magically appear. I missed him so much, everything about him. The way he tried to act so tough in front of everyone, the way he scratched the back of his head when he was embarrassed, the way his eyes seemed to look so caring when they looked into mine, just the way he makes me feel. But I still have that; nothing could ever take that away from me. I have to be strong. I looked down and I felt so ashamed. I was ashamed of the way I had acted. If the roles were reversed Cloud wouldn’t just give up on me. I wouldn’t give up on him.
“He’s still alive,” I told myself. “ I don’t know how I know, but I can just feel it. I know it sounds really corny but I believe he’s alive. And I’m never going to give up on him unless I find out otherwise (and I’m not even going to think about that). “
I got up and realised I was still wearing the towel that I nearly died in last night. . I noticed my clothes were folded up beside where I had been sleeping. I picked them up and made my way up the lift. I went into the bathroom and got changed and brushed and tied my hair back. I made my way to the kitchen and started to make breakfast, eggs today. I could have died just because I let the whole Cloud thing get on top of me. After surviving a sword from the hands of the great Sephiroth, then to die like that... What if I had died and Cloud had come back for me? Then I would never be with him, then I would have lost every chance of ever seeing him again, ever having him hold me again, and ever hearing him tell me he loves me...
I silently made a promise to myself, no matter what happened to me or Cloud, I had to keep my head and pull through. Yesterday would be the first and last time I will ever break like that. From then on I would be strong, if not for me... for Cloud. If he was alive we would find each other.
“Tifa?” I turned to see Barret stood at the door looking worried.
“You startled me.” I said.
“Sorry,” He said looking down, “I was just worried, y’ know, ‘bout what happened yesterday and everything.” Yesterday... I just wanted to forget it had ever happened, but I couldn’t. There might be a part of me that never will forget. My face must have told him what I was thinking. “Sorry Tifa. You probably didn’t want reminding.” He looked apologetic. But I couldn’t be angry, I could never be angry with Barret after what happened yesterday.
“Barret, thank you.” I said to him.
“Huh? Fo’ what?” He bewildered, and it made me smile.
“You saved my life Barret. Thankyou so much.” I said to him, I could feel my eyes misting over, but this wasn’t the same kind of tears as yesterday. They were different. I put my arms around him and hugged him. You could tell he was uncomfortable, he sniffed.
“Ahhh, it was nuthin’. Hell you woulda done the same fo’ me.”
“Why Barret, are you crying?” I teased.
“What? No! Me cry?!” We both laughed.
“So tell me, what did you find out?” I asked curiously.
“I caught some weird guy, can’t be bothered gon’ into the details now but he says the man we need is some guy called Don Corneo. Y’know, the -”
“Everyone knows Don Corneo,” I replied, mentally picturing the fat pimp as I spoke. “Could I be of any help?”
“ No Tifa!” Barret said. “Leave the lech alone!” I could tell he was worried, but I had to know the full story.
“Barret, you KNOW I’ll do it without your help or not, and I know you’d rather back me up instead of having me sneak off without you. Now what’s the plan?” I watched him sigh.
“You’re a stubborn girl.” He said, “But I guess I can’t stop you.” I listened to Barret as he explained to me about the Wall Market and if I was to get in what I would have to pretend to be. I understood. “You sure you’ll be ok?” He asked me.
“Please, I can take the Don and his men easy, you know I can.” We both smiled,
“Yeah, I know.” He said.
“What’s for breakfast?” We turned to see Wedge standing at the doorway.
“Some things just don’t change.” I said with a sigh.
Even I had breakfast today, I was so hungry. I hadn’t eaten at all the previous day. After breakfast I spoke to Jessie.
“I’m gonna need a new dress and some shoes, something which will get me into the Don’s place without looking suspicious. Could you handle that for me?”
“Sure Tif, but I got just one question...”
“What’s that?” I asked.
“Where do you suppose we get the money for the new stuff from?” She asked. I sighed while pulling out a small wad of gill. Whenever I could I had been putting some money aside, I had planned to buy some new clothes with it. Maybe some trousers, they would really make fighting easier. And I did get so sick of being perved on all the time. Cloud was the only guy I wanted to look at me like that. Oh well, there was nothing I could do now, it was going to a better cause. I handed over the money to Jessie and watched her leave with Biggs and Wedge.
They weren’t gone long. I had washed the dishes and put them away then spent most of the time, well... thinking of Cloud. They soon came back holding a bag with what I assumed had my dress and shoes in. Jessie handed it to me.
“Thank you.” I said.
“Wait till you see it. It’s a pretty nice dress but it’s not really something I could wear.” Jessie said. I looked at her and smiled. I could never imagine Jessie in a dress, she just wasn’t the type.
“And for her royal majesty Tifa, you will be escorted to the Wall Market in… a chocobo drawn carriage!” Biggs said while doing a little bow. I laughed,
“Wow! Now I really will be travelling in style.” I said. I knew I shouldn’t but I had to know, “Did you guys hear anything of Cloud?” I asked, and they looked down at the floor.
“Sorry Tifa.” Wedge said.
“It... It’s okay. It’s early days yet.” I said trying to sound cheerful. “He will make his way back to us,” I smiled at them. “I’m going down below to try this on. .o no one come downstairs, okay?”
“Okay.” They all said together.
“Damn.” Biggs said. We all laughed and I made my way down. I opened the bag and lifted out the dress.
“It... It’s beautiful.” I whispered to myself. I was pleasantly surprised. I had been so upset about losing the money that I never thought I might actually like the dress. I undressed, slipped it on and looked at myself in the mirror, it was a beautiful blue, short and fell over my shoulders. I removed my gloves and undid my hair and brushed it. Next I took off my boots and socks and slipped my feet into the dainty blue shoes. I hated my big clumpy boots, they were far too big and uncomfortable. These, on the other hand, were perfect. I stood up and looked at myself. I had never got dressed up like this before, at least not since 16 when everything started to go wrong. No don’t think about it now, it’s not worth ruining this. It was fun, I liked it. I looked at myself in the mirror and I wished (oh how I wished) Cloud could see me now. I remembered him having his arms so tightly around me the night before, his kiss on my cheek, the warmth of his body next to mine, listening to him breathing in the morning, just knowing he was there made everything feel... so right. I closed my eyes and tried to imagine him there with me, but it was no good. It wasn’t the same. I felt a warm teardrop run down my right cheek. I wiped it away. I missed him so much…
“Tifa! You ready yet?” I heard Barret calling me.
“Yes, I’m coming.” I called back to him. I couldn’t resist doing a little twirl in front of the mirror. As I came up on the lift I was met by whistles and complements. I felt myself blush. “Thank you everyone.” I said.
“Your carriage awaits, your majesty.” Said Biggs.
“Thank you Biggs.” I smiled.
“You show em’ what happens when you mess with AVALANCHE!” Said Barret.
“Oh don’t worry, I will.” I grinned, cracking my knuckles. “I’ll see you all soon.”
I got on the back of the carriage and it started to move. They were all waving to me. We turned the corner and I couldn’t see the 7th Heaven anymore. They were all good friends. Barret was the nearest thing to a father I had, since losing my own.
“No, stop it Tifa!” I reprimanded myself. The past was something I tried not to think about, it hurt too much. I noticed we had stopped. We were waiting for some large metal doors to open. Cloud popped into my mind again, not like he was ever out of it. I hope he’s safe, I wonder if he’s thinking of me now? We went through the doors, and I looked out to see the old playground, then I saw someone I thought I wouldn’t be seeing for a long time. I thought I was going mad! I rubbed my eyes and looked again. It definitely was him. Cloud! He was safe, Cloud was safe! He got up and turned to face my direction, he had seen me.
“Tifa!?” I heard him call out. We were driving out of sight. I wanted to jump off the carriage and just throw myself into his arms. Nothing mattered now, nothing. All of last night seemed to be inferior, just as long as Cloud was safe. I could feel such a big smile across my face, and every instinct screamed to me- “Go to him.” I was about to jump off the carriage- but no. I had made a promise to the others, they had trusted me to pull this off and now I had to. I looked back even though he was out of sight now.
Cloud... Pain filled my heart, so near yet so far. At least I knew he was safe. I was taken off the carriage and shown to a room down some stairs. It was far from pleasant. It was more like a dungeon than a waiting room.
Everyone, the doorman, the guy who had shown me around, and even some passing guards had mentally undressed me and made some sort of sick comment. I didn’t know how some girls could live like this, the only person I wanted to hear those comments from was Cloud. I remembered seeing someone else with him. It was wearing a dress. A girl?! THAT was hard to believe. I only got a quick glimpse of him/her/it, but… What did this mean? I remembered how I had turned down every boy who had asked me out, because of him. I had always held onto the hope that one day he would come home and then... well the usual romantic story. I was so sure about my feeling for him, but what if he just viewed me as a bit of fun? The thought stung like a needle.
“ Don’t think like this Tifa. Lets see if Cloud does care for you or not. Don’t chase after him, see if he comes to you, if he does then he cares for you. If he doesn’t then...” I trailed off. I wasn’t even going to think about that.
“Hey, baby!” I turned to see the man who had put me in this horrible room.
“Okay, remember Tifa. You are a slut. Be a slut. Be a slut. Be a-“
“Yes sweetie?” I said as sweetly as I could. He was looking me up and down and circled me twice looking me up and down the whole time, then his gaze fell on my breasts and he decided to talk to them.
“Right here’s how it works. “The Don is looking for a bride. Every day three girls are brought to him, he gets down with the one he likes best and eventually he’s gonna choose a bride.” He said it so casually, like it was nothing and it was perfectly fine to treat women this way. I would have paid good money to deck the little pervert, but unfortunately it would ruin the whole plan. “We are just waiting for the other two girls. Then we can get started.”
I gritted my teeth.
“That’s fine with me sweetie.” I said. This whole act was more difficult than I thought it would be. The other two girls might be a problem. What if I wasn’t chosen? Before I realised what he was doing the guy wrapped and arm around my waist and pulled me in, close to him bringing the other hand up to my breasts. I quickly slapped his hand and pulled away from him. I so wanted to kick this guys butt, but I couldn’t blow my cover. “Naughty, naughty” I said waving a finger at him (not the finger I would of liked to wave at him.). “The, erm... the Don wouldn’t like that.”
The guy grinned wickedly. I stepped back but for every step I took backwards he took one forward until I was up against the wall. He put one arm either side of me, and I felt horribly trapped
. “You know…you’re different from the other girls that come in here.” He said, “You have this… classy feel about you.”
“I... I don’t know what you mean.” I said, I wished I were somewhere else, like with Cloud.
“What the Don doesn’t know won’t hurt him.” The guy said, he winked at me then he started to bring his face closer to mine, I brought my hand up and covered his mouth.
“Not unless I tell him.” I said, now I was the one who was grinning. A mixture of shock and horror filled his face.
“You… you wouldn’t…” He said.
“Trust me, I would.” I said staring him straight in the eye. “So from now on, I would keep my hands and lips to myself if I were you.” An enraged expression crossed his features, and I had to really struggle not to laugh. He walked away from me and without a word and made his way up the stairs. I was pretty pleased with myself, I thought I handled that pretty well. No long after my victory I heard footsteps. Someone was running down the stairs. I turned to see someone in a purple dress with her back to me. She seemed to be looking down. Another girl then followed her, wearing a red dress.
“Tifa?” she said peering at me.
Overcome by curiosity I walked towards her. How did she know my name?
“Nice to meet you I’m Aeris (thunder and lightning can be heard outside at the mention of the satanic evil’s name) Cloud’s told me a lot about you.”
Cloud... how did Cloud know this person? I tried to think, we definitely never grew up with her, she looked far too weak to be a member of soldier...
“And you are?” I asked, I didn’t mean for it to sound rude but I just had no idea who she was. Then it hit me. “Hey, you’re the one who was with Cloud in the park...” I said “the one” because I still wasn’t sure if it was a girl or a boy in a dress.
“Right, with Cloud.” She said nastily. I couldn’t believe how she had twisted my own words and used them against me like that. Deceitful bitch. Ahem. The thought of anyone else being with Cloud, male or female hurt me so much, it split my heart into a million pieces. I looked down and tried to control my tears.
“Oh.” was all I managed to say. Seeing my concern she added,
“Don’t worry we just met. It’s nothing.”
Then why did she try to make it sound like it was something before? I wished she would make up her mind. But I don’t want to seem possessives or anything, and Cloud hadn’t actually talked about being in a relationship with me. I turned to face her.
“ What do you mean, don’t worry. ... About what?” I shook my head, I didn’t want to be saying this but Cloud and I have so much to sort out before we could start a relationship. “Cloud and I grew up together nothing more.” I lied. I hate lying and I try to avoid it at all costs. I heard Aeris I think her name was, laugh.
“Poor Cloud, having to stand here and listen to both of us call him nothing. Right Cloud?” She turned to look at the person standing away from us. I looked at the person to, my heart started to beat faster, I... I didn’t even want to dare to hope, but I still couldn’t stop hoping.
“Cloud?” I asked, my voice was shaky, that was not how I had meant for it to sound at all. Aeris moved away though I hardly noticed, or cared, nothing else mattered right now. I watched the figure walk towards me, every step it took made my heart beat faster. I put my hand on his, it was shaking. He was looking down, like he was ashamed, I looked into his face. I couldn’t believe what I saw. I felt myself jump in the air in happiness. Before I knew what was happening I felt myself throw my arms around his neck and bury my face in his hair, (or wig). He seemed stunned but slowly he wrapped his arms around my waist, then he held me tighter, and pulled me in so close to him there was absolutely no space between us. We stayed like that for a few moments, just not saying anything, I was just so happy to have him back, the relief I felt, to feel him holding me, to know he was definitely there, it was indescribable. I never wanted to let go, never.
I could feel Aeris staring at us. I looked up at him and he looked down at me with his amazing blue eyes. My eyes had misted over and I was sure his had too. He brought his hand up and brushed a strand of hair away from across my face. He stroked my cheek with his finger and I closed my eyes, enjoying his touch. After a few moments I opened my eyes and he looked me up and down.
“Wow!” He said. I took hold of his hand and he gently began to stroke my hand with his thumb. I could feel myself blush. I had so many questions buzzing around my head. I had to ask them all.
“Why are you dressed like that? And what are you doing here? Forget that, what happened to you after the fall!? Are you hurt!?” The poor guy looked overwhelmed. I let go of his hand and looked at him. He smiled and shook his head.
“Hey, give me a chance to answer. I’m dressed like this... because there was no other way to get in here.” I needed a minute to absorb this, I think he saw the look on my face because he turned away, scratching the back of his head. Cloud Strife, who was so proud, had dressed up as a girl, just so he could come and save me! He really did care. He must care a lot if he went through all that. But I didn’t want him to go through anything. Couldn’t he see that I loved him? he doesn’t need to do anything to impress me, I could never love him more than I love him now. I don’t think any human is capable of loving that much. He continued.
“I’m all right. Aeris helped me out.” He had no particular tone to his voice and I knew it was silly for me to be upset, he had just dressed up as a girl to come and save me but I couldn’t help feeling a lump in my throat.
“Oh, Aeris did...” I felt that pain in my heart again. He studied my face closely, he looked confused, and then his eyes seemed to widen when he realised what I was thinking.
“No.” He mouthed to me, he then stuck his tongue out and made a disgusted face. We both laughed. I felt him bring his hand behind me and he tried to pinch my butt. He just managed to so I playfully slapped his hand.
“Cheeky.” I mouthed to him. We were both smiling. It was like that night at the 7th heaven. I felt the old happiness come flooding back. I watched as he looked around the room. His face grew serious.
“Tifa, explain. What are you doing in a place like this?” he looked concerned and confused like he had no idea what to expect. I knew this was coming, I really hoped he didn’t think it was for anything…like that. He should’ve know I saved myself for him, but how is he supposed to know if I don’t tell him? Not now, that was way too important to be told here. I looked at him and wanted to answer when I was suddenly aware of someone else looking at us. I put my head down. I had to try to think of a way to tell him without telling her too much. I didn’t know if I could trust her yet.
“Yeah, ummm...” I started,
“Ahem!! I’ll just plug my ears.” I watched her walk away and cover her ears. Maybe she wasn’t too bad after all. Maybe now she wasn’t listening I might be able to explain to him how much I cared, how much I missed him when he was gone.
“...I’m glad your ok.” I said quietly, I was still looking down. “Thanks.” He said gratefully. He put his hand
under my chin and gently lifted my head up.
“What happened?” He asked softly, concern in his eyes. I decided to leave feelings till later, this wasn’t the time or place.
“When we got back from the number five reactor there was this weird man.” At least Barret had said he was weird. “So Barret caught him and squeezed some information out of him.” I continued.
“That’s when the Don’s name popped up.” Said Cloud. I nodded. Just then I noticed Aeris kept turning around and lifting her hands of her ears. I hate it when people are dishonest, if you’re gonna listen you don’t pretend you’re not. That’s just unfair. It annoyed me. This was none of her business. Why should she care? Oh well I guess I’ll just have to ignore it and carry on.
“Right, Don Corneo. Barret told me to leave the lech alone... But something’s been bothering me.” Cloud nodded, understanding.
“I see. So you wanted to get the story straight from Corneo’s mouth.”
“So I made it this far but now I’m in a bind.” I looked down, I wasn’t quite sure how to say the next bit. “ Corneo is looking for a bride. Everyday he gets three girls, chooses one of them, and then... and, well...” I could feel myself blushing, I knew Cloud was grinning. He put his hand on my arm and gently stroked it with his thumb. I looked up and pushed a strand of hair away from my face, yep sure enough he had a big grin on his face. That made me smile too. “Anyway, I have to be the girl... or I’m out for tonight.” I said. Cloud didn’t seem to care very much about the Don and his search for a bride.
“Sorry... but I over heard...” Anger crossed Clouds face. I felt so embarrassed, I looked over his shoulder to see Aeris. “If you know the three girls, there’s no problem right?”
No she did not want to join us. I didn’t even know this girl, she could’ve been a Shinra spy. “Ok make up something. “ I muttered to myself.
“I guess so, but...” I started.
“We have two here, right? Horror filled Clouds face and he turned round. I didn’t want him to be to hard on her, the girl was obviously very lonely.
“No Aeris! I can’t have you get involved.” He said calmly but firmly. That was pretty good, she’ll get the message now.
“Oh? So it’s all right for Tifa to be in danger?” How the hell did she manage to twist that? Does she want to pull Could and I apart or something?
“But no. She really is our only hope,” I thought dejectedly. I really didn’t want to take her with us, but beggars can’t be choosers, and if Cloud trusted her enough to bring her here then I guess I could trust her. I watched Cloud put his hands to his face in anger, I could tell he was trying his best not to shout at her, but she was really trying his patience.
“No,” He started, there was irritation in his voice “I don’t want Tifa in...” I cut him off, I knew he didn’t want me in danger he didn’t need to say it. I approached her.
“Is it all right?” I asked, I didn’t want someone who would chicken out at the last minute. We both walked towards the steps.
“I grew up in the slums... I’m used to danger.” I surveyed her with a critical eye. She had obviously grown up in the good part of the slums, her clothes were all new and she didn’t look very strong physically. It didn’t look like she had been in very many battles. Oh well, she could learn, and if Cloud and I watched out for her she would be ok. She turned to face me.
“Do you trust me?” She asked. I didn’t trust her around Cloud as she seemed to have made it her mission to split us, but for this then yes. I nodded.
“Yes. Thankyou, Ms Aeris.” I said as politely as I could. She smiled and shook her head.
“Call me Aeris.” I smiled back. “Hey you never know,” I thought, “we might end up being friends.” My father always told me never to judge people too quickly. Then I heard a voice I recognised.
“He..y!!” We all looked up to see my ‘friend’ from before, who was presently passing me the dirtiest look his eyes could muster. “It’s time ladies. The Don is waiting.” He started mumbling something to himself, it was probably something insulting and full of swearing. “Hurry up, will ya!” He screamed. I clenched my fists, wishing I could have finished him off before. Then Cloud spoke up.
“I probably don’t need to ask but the other girl is... me... right?” I smiled and nodded,
“Your right there was no need...” I said,
“…To ask.” Aeris continued. I watched Cloud go to the back of the room and pick up something. He then approached me. I looked at him and couldn’t help laughing.
“Ha ha... you know, if you look closely your not so bad... I wonder what Barret would say if he could see you now...” He looked embarrassed but he still smiled and playfully went to tap me on the arm, but I blocked him. We both laughed. Then he made his way up the stairs and Aeris and I followed.
Cloud was back. He was back and he had come to save me (though I didn’t really need saving). And this time I would not lose him. I loved him, mixed up memories or not, and when the next chance arose…I would tell him. I wouldn’t make the same mistake again.