Tifa and I walked up the stone staircase, with an embarrassed Cloud following us. Tifa seemed nice enough, and I could tell that she had deep feelings for Cloud, just after we talked. But Cloud had said that she wasn't "exactly" his girlfriend. Oh I dunno, I had much more important things to think about!

As soon as we hit the top step, that freaky dude yelled at us.

"He----y! Enough chit chatting! It's time ladies. The Don is waiting!" he said. "I told ya not to wander around . . . I tell ya, women nowadays," he continued to mumble as we followed him back to the main room. Well, here goes nothing, I thought.

He led us to the room at the top of the stairs. I was very nervous as he opened the curtian and motioned us in. I tried very hard not to laugh as I watched him checking out Cloud's butt. As soon as we entered, I looked up to see the Don in a his, er, "glory".

Grungy, obese, ugly, balding, and down right disgusting were the terms that came to mind as I looked at this walking hormone. He was dressed in a long red coat with white puffy trim, and he had on tons of gold jewellery. Everytime he moved his fat body, the light would catch the chains and blind me with a blast of light. He was smoking a giant cigar and he hacked a lung as he checked us out. I felt so very dirty as his beady eyes scanned my body. I guess we looked slutty enough for his nasty tastes, because he jumped up on his desk and shook his beer belly at us.

"Hmm! Good! Splendid!" he slurred, walking over to us. He looked me up and down and licked his lips as he tried to peer down the top of my dress. Be a whore, be a whore, I kept reminding myself. I giggled as he moved over to Cloud. God, I would have killed to be wearing a turtleneck at this point. No peering down one's shirt that way.

I was a little nervous as he checked out Cloud. Would he know Cloud wasn't a girl?

"This one?" he said, trying to look Cloud in the face. Cloud kept moving his face out of the Don's line of sight. The fat oaf moved over to Tifa and started his evaluation.

"Or this one?" Tifa looked positively disgusted, and I didn't blame her for one second. The Don took a step back and looked us all over once more. "Now, let's see . . . which girl should I choose? Hmm, hmm!"

From out of nowhere, this drumroll started. I guess he had this little sound effect planned. Oh god, gimme a break, like this was a PRIVILEGE or something!

"Woo hoo! I've made up my mind!!" he announced. Oh goodie. "My choice for tonight is . . ."

Not me not me not me not me!!!

". . . this slender little girl!" WHAT?! He did pick me! Well, I was not expecting this at all. I just nodded as I thought of something slutty to say.

"Don, you've got great taste." I said, and the cow winked at me. Cloud seemed a bit relieved that it wasn't him. The ogre turned to his flunkies. "You can have the other ones!"

"Yes, sir! Thank you sir!" they said. The nasty one from outside the Don's place strutted over the Tifa. I wasn't sure who had it worse, me or her. I turned to the Don.

I did. I definitely did.

The Don put his sweaty arm over my shoulder. I tried not to gag.

"Well then, shall we go my pretty?" he asked, leading me to his bedroom. Oh god, what am I supposed to do?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

I kept repeating to myself, 'be a whore, be a hoochie, be a slut', but it wasn't making my situation any better. I hope I can stop this whale, I thought. I kinda like my body non-violated.

He hopped on his vibrating bed and motioned for me to come over. "Woo hoo! Come, come, don't be so shy . . . "

I cautiously took a step towards the bed. "Ye . . . yes." I was standing next to the bed and he was swinging his . . . uh . . . well . . . 'thing' at me. I really thought I was going to puke.

"But Mr. Don. I'd like you to explain something to me first . . ."

"Of course, my dear. I'll take you through it slowly, step by step. So come on!" Oh, how nice of him! I began to get VERY nervous as he started to undo his belt.

"No, that's not what I meant!" he didn't listen to me as he tossed his belt at my feet. Obviously, this was very sexy to him. Obviously, this was very sick to me.

"NO, STOP! Just, wait a second!!" Now he started to undo his pants. Oh hell no, I thought as he licked his lips "seductively" and winked at me.

"Come! Come!" he said, reaching his hand out to me. I just stared at it and blinked a few times. He pulled his hands back and looked like he was going to attack me.

"Aoooooh!! I can't wait any longer! Here comes papa!!" And with that, he lunged at me. I screamed at the top of my lungs as the elephant dove at me. I dropped an rolled out of the way as he hit the floor. The ground shook, and the door whipped open. Cloud! Oh thank god!

"Wha . . . what the hell? Who goes there!?" he demanded, struggling to his feet. I scrambled up and ran over next to Cloud.

"I'm sorry, Don," I said sarcastically, then spun around. Now, don't ask me how, but I was miraculously in my old outfit!

"What the?" the Don sputtered. Tifa cracked her knuckles and Cloud crossed his arms. Looks like an interrogation is going to occur, I thought. I stepped back, because I wasn't sure what was going to happen, nor did I have any questions on Tifa and Cloud's predicament.

"Shut up! We're asking the questions now . . ." Tifa demanded in an angry tone that would have made me listen to her in a heartbeat if I was that fat cow. "What did your assistants find out?" The Don didn't say a word. "Talk! If you don't tell us . . ."

Cloud walked up to the bed and put his foot up on it. He put his hand of the handle of his sword to emphasise, and said, "I'll chop them off."

The Don looked absolutely terrified. "No! Not that! I'll talk! I'll tell you everything!" Cloud grinned at him and Tifa put her hand son her hips.

"So . . . talk."

The Don sighed. ". . . I made 'em find out where the man with the gun-arm was. But that's what I was ordered to do."

"By who?"

"No! If I told you that, I'd be killed!"

"Talk! If you don't tell us . . ." Tifa warned, and I walked over to the bed. I copied Cloud's move and smirked at the Don.

". . . I'll rip them off."

The Don grabbed his . . .uh . . . 'parts' and squirmed. "Waaaah! It was Heidegger of Shinra! Heidegger, the head of Public Safety Maintenance!"

Heidegger, I had heard of him. I think he had something to do with the Turks.

Tifa looked even more ticked off. Woo, I thought, she can look scary when she wants too!

"Did you say the Shinra!? What are they up to!? Talk!" she threatened, stomping over to the bed and putting her foot on it. "If you don't tell us . . . I'll smash them."

By now, the Don looked ready to cry. "You're serious, aren't you?" Tifa cocked an eyebrow at him. "Ohboy, ohboy, ohboy . . . I'm not fooling around here either, you know! Shinra's trying to crush a small rebel group called AVALANCHE, and want to infiltrate their hideout." Cloud and Tifa looked at each other and looked a little worried.

"And they're really going to crush them . . . literally! By breaking the support holding up the plate above them."

Tifa took a step back off the bed, and looked shock. "Break the support!?"

The Don continued, "You know what's going to happen?" He suddenly had this look of glee on his face. "The plate'll go PING and everything's gonna go BAMMM!! I heard their hideout's in the Sector 7 Slums . . . I'm just glad it's no there in Sector 6."

Tifa looked scared. "They're going to wipe out the Sector 7 Slums?!" She turned to Cloud. "Cloud, will you come with me to Sector 7?"

Cloud stepped away from the bed, and I followed. "Of course, Tifa."

We were all standing at the foot of his bed. I had a lot of unanswered questions. Who's AVALANCHE? What does Cloud have to do with them? Why is Shinra smashing Sector 7? People would be killed! Why-

My thoughts were interrupted by the Don. "Just a second!" Cloud yelled at him angrily, "Shut up!"

"No wait, it'll only take a second." Jabba the Hutt's twin scooted back on his bed and leaned his arm on the dragon headboard. "How do you think scum like me feels when they babble on about the truth?"

Cloud shook his head. "I don't care. They don't know what the hell's going on."

The Don laughed and said, "Close but no cigar! Buh bye suckers!" He slammed his hand down on the dragon's head and the floor suddenly shot out from under our feet. All I remember doing is screaming before I hit the ground.