Disclaimer: I love everything about FF8, but I don’t own it, boo hoo! Square does!

Somewhere, deep in time’s unending flow was a small hole. Well, if you think about the vastness of time, maybe a tiny crack. Yet this crack was more than big enough to house a sorceress. Sorceress Ultimecia had been defeated in battle, her plans to wrest power over all eternity waylaid. Forever she was condemned, to be imprisoned in time never to terrorize the world again. Or so we thought.

Hark, even as we speak the sorceress awakens. O what treachery, what guiles has she in store for the SeeDs who are oblivious to what is about to befall them?

Ultimecia: Aaaahhh, (yawns), kan’t beat a good nap to refresh the senses. Wait a minute. WHERE AM I???!.. Oh yeah, I got an eternity sentence.

Ultimecia: ...KURSE THOSE SEEDS!!!!!! Kurse Hyne too for that matter. He could have just let me die, but no, I have to suffer eternal banishment.(grins evilly) We’ll just see about that. (strikes a beatific pose) Griever, I summon you!

POOF!

Ultimecia: K’mon Fluffy! We’ve got SeeDs to kill!

Griever: You know I hate it when you call me that.

Ultimecia: Quit whining, Flu-fffffyyyyyy. Those SeeDs must be dealt with. Kurse them all!

Griever: Ick. You ever consider speech therapy? Those ‘k’s of yours are annoying.

Ultimecia: YOU are annoying. Quit the squeaking or I’ll turn you into a chihuahua. Damn! My plans would have worked if it wasn’t for those insolent little insects.

Griever: Hey, you’re forgetting a few things. One, you have no powers. Two, we’ve got no way to get out of this erm, dimensional thingy.

Ultimecia: Hah! Well, what I happen to have is Plan B!

Griever: Plan B?

Ultimecia: Well, k’mon these evil-sorceress-gets-defeated stories have been repeated like, so many times. I wanted to be evil. Goody two-shoes sorceresses don’t have any fun. The only excitement they ever get is if they get possessed by yours truly. I learnt from the best. Seeing as my role models were always getting their butts whupped, I had to koncede the powers-that-be were prejudiced. Hyne’s just jealous he kan’t be evil ‘kause he’s running around with just one half of him attached.

Griever: Yada-yada. I’ve heard all that before. What I want to know is HOW do we get out of here.

Ultimecia: Heh heh. I kind of left a little ‘back door’ in Rinoa’s konciousness.

Griever: Back door? As in, we could get back inside her head?

Ultimecia: Yup! This back door is located precisely where she stores her GFs! We just open it and we’re right inside enemy kamp, baby!

Griever: And how, do you propose we get to that back door?

Ultimecia: Hah! You think I let Edea have ALL my magic?

Griever: So that’s why you haven’t faded away.

Ultimecia: Hyne wouldn’t let me, anyways. He wanted someone else to share his sweet torture of being bored out of their skulls for centuries. So k’mon, Fluffy. We’re going for a ride.

She does a little waving of her arms and then POOF! The two disappear.

In another place, Rinoa is making her way along unsuspecting of the craziness coming her way. It’s a beautiful day in Timber, and she is there helping out in the celebration of Timber’s newly acquired independence. Suddenly, she feels a stinging sensation in her head.

Rinoa: Owwww!! (She starts rubbing her temples).

Zone: Princess! Are you OK?

A concerned Zone and Watts make way to where she is sitting, underneath a shady tree.

Watts: Can I get something for you, sir? Owl’s Tear? Moogle’s Sweat? Chocobo Dribble?

Rinoa: An aspirin would do nicely, Watts. (She endeavours as sweet a smile as she can).

Watts: Coming right up, sir.

Zone: Anything else you need, Princess?

Rinoa: I’m fine, Zone. Just go on. There’s still a lot to do. A bit of a rest might do it.

Zone: Someone keeping you up at night too much, I see. (grins).

Rinoa: (blushes furiously) Why, you, Zone! You read too many naughty magazines!

Zone: So I’m not entirely wrong, then?

Rinoa: Go away! (She laughs and swats him) Shoo!

Inside her head:

Ultimecia: Yes! We’re in.

Griever: OK, Ulti. Do your stuff.

Ultimecia: Alright. Hmmm...what? Hey..err,I think we’ll have to wait a while.

Griever: Huh? What’s wrong?

Ultimecia: There’s a bit of a hitch. We ermm..can’t get out till she junctions us.

Griever: WHAT???

Ultimecia: Shh,be still. She’ll sense us in her head soon. Darn. I knew this might happen. I don’t have enough power to take her over completely. If I try now, all she’ll get are migraines. So we pretend we’re new GFs. Just be quiet and not let the other GF’s spot us or we’re dead.

Griever: ...

Rinoa: Hello?

Ultimecia: She’s found us! Remember, don’t reveal our real identities!

Rinoa: Err, hey, who are you? What are you doing in my brain?

Ultimecia: I am the great GF, Ulti. And this is, uhh, Fluffy!

Rinoa: Ulti and Fluffy? Pardon me for saying so, but your names are weird. Where did you come from? I don’t remember junctioning you.

Ultimecia: Oh, we, uhh..came from that tree you were resting on. We had been living there for a long time, waiting for the right person. After what you did to help liberate Timber, we decided to join you. Right, Fluffy?

Griever: Grr!

Ultimecia: Fluff’s not in a very good mood after sleeping so long.

Rinoa: OK,I’ll let you meet up with the other GFs in my head. Say Hi, Shiva, Diablos, Siren.

Shiva, Diablos,Siren: AAAAAK!

Ultimecia and Griever: EEEEEEK!

Diablos: Our enemies! Die, foul sorceress!

Shiva: Take that, you traitorous lion!

Ultimecia: I think we better disappear.

POOF! (again)

Ultimecia: On second thought, a little more sleep might do me good. Right, Fluffy? Fluffy?

In another, deeper recess of Rinoa’s brain (yes, it does exist):

Siren: I’ve always had a thing for lions. What say, you and me get comfortable here in my pad?

Griever: Sure thing!

So Ultimecia has another little nap, waiting for her final reckoning with the SeeDs. Griever and Siren are happily getting it on somewhere in Rinoa’s cerebral cortex. Rinoa had a huge migraine what with the battle going on in her head. She recovered after a good night’s rest and Squall sleeping on the sofa for a change.

The End.