Respect Your Elders- Preview
Respect Your Elders
Respect your Elders
by Red Chocobo
[Setting: Balamb; Third floor. Xu is impatiently pacing around the room, waiting for the new headmaster to appear. Nida is hobbling around without patience as well, holding a deck of Triple Triad cards, waiting to challenge him with a game. Both are anxious to meet the headmaster.]
Xu (making conversaton): So, you know anything about this new headmaster?
Nida: Nope. I thought you were Cid's favorite. You of all people should know.
Xu: The only thing I know is that Cid hand-picked this newbie and asked for us to especially treat him well.
Nida: Ugh, more like pointed at someone, blind-folded. **faces Xu** Whatever happened to Cid, anyway?
Xu: The last time I checked, I believe he and Edea are settling domestic affairs. I think she's still pissed he tried to kill her, and he's still begging her not to seperate so she can stab Cid Highwind with a block of ice.
[All of a sudden, a flash of lightning bolted through the office. The dazzly string of thunder and lightning began forming into something.]
Xu, Nida: GAHHH!! Quezegotl! **holds onto each other**
Ramuh: Quezegotl?! That chump?? Whatever happened to me? Just because I'm old doesn't mean I'm retired ... *continues rambling on and on*
Xu, Nida: **releases each other** .. who're you?
Ramuh: Me? I'm Ramuh, your new Headmaster of Balamb Garden! **beams proudly**
Nida: **jaw drops** .... O_O Cid .. you .. old man .. **shakes and points toward Ramuh, murmering gibberish**
Xu: *anime sweatdrop* Erm, welcome sir Ramuh, to our fair Garden. I think it would be quite nice if you went on ahead to the P.A. system and greet our students back from their summertime breaks. Introduce yourself, and feel free to tell things about yourself ..
Ramuh: Really? Ooooh, that'd be nice .. **walks toward the P.A. system, and hands his rod to Nida**
Nida: **looks at the rod curiously** What's this? **bangs it on a table; a lightning bolt thunders down and breaks it in half** .. oh my! I never knew a piece of wood could be so astounding! This would be a charge compared to our gunblades .. Ooooooh! **runs off to tap more things with Ramuh's rod**
Ramuh (talking through the P.A. system): Hello everyone, and welcome back to Balamb after your undeserved breaktime. You kids are so damned lazy!! **shakes fist angrily** Why, in my days you tongue-pierced neanderthals respected your elders and didn't flick them off just because they have a few wrinkles here and there!! You're all a bunch of--
Xu: Headmaster Ramuh!! **waves arms around desperately** Sir, you needn't do that ... it's not very wise, sir.
Ramuh: Oh, so I'm not wise, eh?!
Xu: No, it's not that, sir! It's .. well, the tongue-pierced Junior classmen are easily offended, and the Headmaster before Mr. Cid Kramer somehow, um, lost all his teeth in the urinals.
Ramuh: Hey, an Esper/Summoner ain't got no breakable teeth. Respect your elders, I'll say, you pimply little whipper-snapper!!
Xu: What the HELL is an Esper?!
Ramuh: Whaaaa .. ? Of all the things! Oh, you crazy punks with all your doo-daddy GF's! Whatever happened to the good ol' days of magic?! Now there's all this junction thingermajiggy!!
Xu: Headmaster, you don't seem to understand our fair Garden rules and--
Ramuh: *hisses* YOU UNRESPECTFUL LITTLE VERMIN! **sends thunderbolts rolling down on Balamb**
Xu: **falls back on her butt** S-s-sir, if i-i-it makes y-y-you happy, no longer are there different variaties of GFs. Everyone loves Eden so much that they found a way to clone the original one to junction to them. Some of our students have Eden with them right n-n-now.
Ramuh: .. right. **breathes heavily** So then I only have to kick Eden's ass instead of everyone else. Xu, if I'm the new headmaster, does that mean you have to do anything I want?!?!
Xu: Uh .. y-y-yessir. **sighs sadly**
Ramuh: Oooooooh! You have to do anything I want! Ooooooh! Do the announcements for me, pweese? Tell them that they should expect some new staff members that are immigrants, so tell them to welcome them with open arms. I can't do anything positive thinking of those .. **darkly** .. disgusting, idiotic, crapping little bloodsucking--
Xu: Yessir! **salutes, goes to the P.A. system, then mutters "God, what's up his ass?!"**
[Setting: Cafeteria. The most populated area of the Garden. Trepies, CC Club, Disciplinary Committee, Garden Festival Committee, Junior classmen, Moomba slaves, you name it; they all come here at this time of the day!]
Zell (breathing heavily): **suddenly rushes in** Hoooo .. **looks up** D-d-do you h-have a-a-any of th-th-those hot dogs left?...
Cafeteria Lady: Sorry, all gone.
Zell: @#$%^&*!!! **punches the wall; it breaks** .. oops, I keep forgetting I have kick-ass gloves on me ..
Carbuncle: **pops up from the floor which now has a rubber hole in it, and hands Zell a ticket**
Fujin, Rajin: **runs in**
Rajin: Aaah, it's Zell again, ya know? He should be afraid of our new disciplinary committee guy, ya know?
Fujin: **points over at the ticket** DETENTION.
Carbuncle: **gives out cute squeaks, and jumps back in his rubber hole, and it disappears**
Zell: **glares at the ticket** @#$%^&*! Not again!
Carbuncle: **jumps up from another rubber hole and hands another ticket to Zell**
Rajin: Unnecessary profanity, ya know?
Fujin: DETENTION .. DOUBLE...
Zell: **about to swear again, but forces a smile, then walks away, grumbling** ..stupid GF. **grabs a tray of cafeteria slop and sits next to Irvine and Selphie** Dammit, I hate the new headmaster and his staff .. GF's all ova the place, watching us!
Odin: **walks in front of Zell** I'm watchin' ya, foo' ... watchiiing .. And my horse's watching too! Boooooo!
Selphie: Ooooooh! HORSIE! HORSIE! **claps**
Zell: *flatly* New janitor?
Odin: *flatly* And they wouldn't even give me a new mop because they think an eight-legged horse can't compare to a brand new MOP ..
Selphie: HORSIE!! Oh, Irvine, isn't it pretty?
Irvine: Uh, yeah, pretty. Now get it away from me before I shoot it to hell.
Selphie (sulkily): Irvine, that's so .. MEAN!
Irvine: There are thangs not even I will do to impress a gal. **suddenly turns head and looks over at a female member of the CC Club** ... oooooh.
Zell: Why aren't you still employed as a GF? You stomp in random battles, so it shouldn't be too hard for you to stay employed.
Odin: They want big graphical animations when they summon GFs rather than just sticking a spear up someone's ass. Pfft .. the world's gone all .. techno. **walks off grumbling**
Zell: **turns back toward Selphie and Irvine** Yo, do you guys like that new headmaster?
Selphie (cheerfully): Yeah, he's real great!!
Irvine: Yeah, I like 'im, great, great.
Selphie: Hm. 'tually, I don't like him, he's so mean! ;_;
Irvine: Yeah, wait, he's dead to me! Yeah!
Selphie: I agree with my dog-like follower, Irvie! **revoltingly cute smile**
Irvine: *grumble grumble* Dog-like .. **suddenly realizes where he is** .. oh yeah, Selph, real dog-like! ..
Zell: Let's kick his asssss! .. and then snip his beard! YEAAAAHHHHH!
Selphie: Uh oh .. O.O Whenever he does that Sisqo-yeahhh thing, we're in big twouble.
Irvine: Ummm, I propose that we sorta like, y'know, nuke him? I can shoot him if you want, Selph. Yeah, load the sniper and shoot his head off, like you know.
Selphie: **claps hands** Blow him to smithereeeeeens!
Zell: Dude, that's what you said last time when we were on our mission to kill the Evil Edea.
Irvine (whining): But she put a big barrier thinger and blocked the BULLET!
Zell (carelessly): Dat's what they all say! So you best just throw some big-ass bomb at him instead of shooting him. We'll discuss the plans--
Carbuncle: **suddenly pops up from no where and hands Zell, Selphie, and Irvine a piece of paper**
Rajin, Fujin: **runs in**
Rajin: Damn, I wish the new guy wouldn't pop outta no where, ya know?
Fujin: **points at the three** TERRORISTS .. DETENTION.
Selphie: Nooo! ;_; But I'm against terrorist acts! M-m-my parents were hippies that intended to stop the war. They even made a song with bellbottoms and those pretty flower things!
Rajin: Ya know, I thought you didn't have 'rents, ya know?
Selphie (meekly): No, I don't know.
Fujin: **gestures at Zell** TRIPLE ..
Carbuncle: **squeaks adorably, then jumps back into his little hole**
Rajin: Hey Fujin, ya ever wonder where that little hole goes to, ya know? **gestures at the hole Carbuncle created**
Fujin: GO. **kicks Rajin and pushes him in the hole**
Rajin (falling into the hole): Heeeeeeeeey! This ain't riiiiight, ya knoooooooow!?
Fujin: WHINY-ASS. **motions away from the table**
Zell: 'kay, that was damned weird.
Irvine: So now that all of us got this big ol' hunk of detention, who's gonna carry out our plans of destruction and doom and .. stuff?
Selphie: **faces Zell** Yeah, whoooooo?
Zell: **looks around the cafeteria area for a moment nervously, then strangles a junior student onto the table** This little dude right here! **slams fist down in front of the student, who happens to be the boy who runs laps around Balamb**
Boy Who Runs Laps: Mr. Dinct, sir! I d-d-didn't do a-a-anything .. l-leave me alone, I j-j-just run around the Garden .. s-s-sorry t-to annoy y-y-you .. I'm f-fat, I d-didn't m-mean to d-d-disgust y-y-you with my blubber .. LET ME GO! Waaaah! **breaks free and runs away**
Irvine: Coolbeans, he left his lunch here. **snatches a banana from the tray**
Zell: Hey, don't eat his crap. He's going to be the one who's going to be our savior. The one who'll rid of that freaking headmaster of ours.
Selphie: Erm .. no he isn't. He's just going to stay away from you. Zellie, this time _I_ wanna choose the person of who's going to save the world. And it should be a girl this time, it's always men men men men meeeen! What happened to the Terra days?
Zell: She went to hell and became a smelly old human.
Selphie: That's so meaaaaaan! You're mean, Zell! **stomps away from Zell angrily**
Irvine: **doesn't know what to say, then faces Zell** Meanie! **runs off to comfort Selphie**
[Setting: Instructor Trepe's classroom. Class has recently dismissed, and all but the Trepies have departed. Irvine and Selphie have just arrived in the class as Quistis was about to make a retreat from the drooling Trepies.]
Selphie: **running up to Quistis** Hi Quistis! 'member meeeee?
Quistis: **trying to find an excuse to escape Selphie's enthusiasm** Uh, no, sorry .. er, must be the GF.
Irvine: Quisty, we need your help. And this time it isn't about me losing my virginity. It's about the new headmaster, Ramuh.
Quistis: Oh yes, him. He's a wonderful person, he really is.
Selphie: Wonderful?! Quiiiistiiis, you must be hallucinating! How can he be wonderful when Instructor Aki retired, he hired a Cactuar to fill in for her? You've been against that when Headmaster Cid was here ..
Irvine: Yeah, look at poor Selph and her class. Whenever someone tries to ask Instructor Cactuar a question, it runs away. On some occasions, it pokes a needle in someone and makes strange indigestion-esque noises.
Quistis: There's .. nothing I can do about him, I'm sorry.
Selphie: Quiiiistiiiis! Waaaah! All we're asking for you is to rid of Ramuh .. you've been many headmasters' favorite once you got into SeeD! Pleeeeeaaase?
Quistis: I'll .. consider it, thank you.
Irvine: Goooood. If you aren't convinced, look at the new Garden Library Committee. Diablos throws an entire dimensional warp at someone when their books are overdue! And frankly .. Diablos is very scary and evil! Make him go awaaaay!
Quistis (emotionlessly): How touching. Alright you two, I'll attempt to soften him up a bit, and perhaps attempt impeachment or something of that sort. Now .. eh, go away before I reveal a secret to you. **walks out the classroom**
Selphie: Wheeeeeeee! Quistis is gonna be our heroine! Our heroine! Maybe SHE'LL be the new headmaster. Headmistress Quistis! Tee hee heee ..that almost rhymes ..
Irvine: Y'know, Quisty doesn't usually give in this easily. We have to be extra annoyingly cute. Wonder why she wanted to do this ..
Trepie #1: **walks up to the two** You better not lead Ms. Quistis to harm! She's our idle .. I know! I know! You've pissed Quistis off 482 times! That's evil!
Trepie #2: And according to our keen Quistis habits, she's been having daydreams about killing you 254 times! Ha!
Trepie #3: I don't have big scary numbers, but YOU in the goofy hat .. **gestures at Irvine** .. you don't have a chance with her!
Selphie, Irvine: *glares at the Trepies, then inches out of the door in fear*
[Setting: Balamb's Basement. The only place where it's dark and scary enough for everyone to keep out of site for the CC Club to converse at, without anyone knowing the actual identities of the group. Quistis and the other members are perched atop NORG's pod.]
Quistis: This Ramuh guy has to be rare .. I mean, how good can this plan be? We weaken his defenses then use 'Card' on him, and we got ourselves a rare card!
Xu: Not to mention rid of a guy not worthy to be crowned headmaster.
Jack: Excellent plan. What do you think, Joker?
Joker (tonelessly): I don't care. I'm playing against myself, and losing no doubt. Oh look, I just lost my Leviathon to myself .. I'll never be able to get it back, now.
Club: **glares at Joker, then turns away** I'm not even gonna ask ..
Diamond Princess 1: So like, how do we get him? I mean, like, we all have Quezecotl clones and all, but then like, the hell?
Diamond Princess 2: Ewww, we just .. walk up to him and like, smack him? I mean, GOD!
Xu: Ickles .. I hate him so much. I suggest we entangle his beard on a cash register and Card him from behind. But then he has strong electrical powers, now doesn't he?
Spade: *nods slowly* Oh yes, Xu! **gurgling** Sweeeet, luuuscious Xuuu .. oooooh.
Xu: **looks over at Spade** Did you say something, good Spade?
Spade: *blink* Nooothiiiiing .. **looks away, crimson red**
Quistis: By the way, is Nida still toying around with that soddy old rod? You don't know how much more people there are that are unfortunetly electrocuted. It's starting to smell like burnt toast down at the infirmary, and Dr. Kadowaki's getting annoyed. She's cussing so muuuuch!
Jack: Right right right .. our Quezecotls don't do much either .. he's immune to lightning, remember?
Club: We should be spontaneous. Think of a plan as we meet him. Xu probably knows Ramuh's insecurities, and we can use it against him once we witness him.
Xu: **proud beam** All I know is that he dislikes young'ens and junctioning.
Jack: *shrugs* We're all young, so I guess that's one for one. And I'm sure he'd freak out once he meets the Diamond Princesses. **gestures at the two girls**
Diamond Princess 1, 2 (in unison): That is like, sooooo rude! Ick! You're mean! **slaps Jack with a dozen of Triple Triad cards at the same time**
Jack: **falls over in pain** Oww .. Malboros hurt .. hypocrites.
Spade: Yes! We all shall follow Xu's plan of scaring him with our youth and our junctioning capabilities. Once again, the *EXOTIC* Xu has found out the perfect offense to attack with .. !!
Quistis: Riiiiiiiight. **grumble grumble** Why don't I have large groupie fans willing to die for me?
Joker: **for some reason, goes into hysterical laughter**
Club: Don't worry, Quistis. I'm sure you have fans in the world somewhere.
[Cut to a picture of the three Trepies prancing around with illegal Quistis Trepe goods and merchandise. The male Trepie has tried his best to retouch Quistis into some Victoria's Secret lingerie. One of the Trepies had a large foam hand with Quistis' picture, SD-style. ]
[Setting: Balamb's extremely large ventalation duct. Xu and the two Diamond Princesses are currently crawling towards the system. If the first party has failed to do their job, then Xu and the Diamond Princesses were to come in. Jack, Club, and Spade were the main party. However, no one really expected them to actually succeed, so Quistis lead the party instead of Jack.]
Diamond Princess 1: Gaaawd, that old man really bites .. last time when I was walking out of the elevator, I was like, putting on my make-up, right? Then all of a sudden, he like, took my Revlon lipstick and Maybelline mascara wand ..
Diamond Princess 2: The one that's thick and doesn't smudge in clumps? Oh my GAWD!
Diamond Princess 1: Vengence is soooooooo sweet! Ooooooooh!
Xu: Will you two shut up?! It's bad enough that I have to be in the back, but if you keep squabbling and gossiping, not only will someone hear you, I'll be driven crazy for homocidal assault! **looks up angrily**
Diamond Princess 2: Omagod! Giiirl, you know what Xu did? She looked up your skirt! OMAGOD!
Diamond Princess 1: Ewwwwwww! Pervertic lesbian! ICK! **atttempts to attack Xu from behind**
Xu: Hey! Ow! What the @#$%-- !! Heeeeeey! We're supposed to attack hi-- ow! @#$%! Little girl-- da--!!
[Setting: Third floor, Ramuh's office. Ramuh had just single-handedly electrocuted two top-notch Garden Porsches as a symbol of what the elderly can do to ungreatful youths. Whilst he was destroying school property, Quistis and co. have snuck into his office, hiding in various places, just waiting to pop out and give the summon a heart attack. To their thoughts, the heart attack could possibly kill the old man.]
Spade: Ooooh, my poor erotic Xu .. how she has to be stuck with those bimbotic Siamese Twins .. oooooh .. ! **continues moaning about Xu**
Club: Shut up, already! We won't be able to succeed in our plan if you keep on fumbling around about Xu. If you love her so much, she can be visited daily here!
Jack (slyly): Nah, Nida'll be here to defend her to the death, and we all know how crappy Spade is when it comes to battle, now don't we? All he does is throw a Geezard card at an enemy, hoping it'll slash it's head off like a Setzer-wannabe. Then he runs away screaming for Squall like a little Rinoa. Heheheh ..
Spade: N-n-not true! ... **as-a-matter-of-factly** .. I throw Mesmerize cards, not Geezards.
Quistis: Shhhhh! I hear the creaking of the elevator and that strange tube-ish sound .. Ramuh's coming .. prepare yourselves, everyone! And Spade .. don't use Mesmerizes. They're so useless and weak .. this time use Hexadragons. You have a ton of them, don't you? They have more special types of edges .. lovely, they are.
Ramuh: **hovers toward his large chestnut-smelling chair, yawning** Lousy children .. ! Don't even know why they came here.. they need more discipline, those creepy car-loving Lambourgini fools!
Jack: **suddenly pops out from under Ramuh's desk, jeering and attempting to slam Ramuh in the stomach with the hilt (or handle) of his gunblade** Uweeleeleeeeee!
Ramuh: *blink blink blink* Yes? How may I help you?
Jack: ... you're not SCARED?!
Ramuh: Whot? Are you those lousy kids nearby here .. the frat punks?!
Jack: NO! We're here to foretell your death, old man! Uweleeeeeleee! **does some more war cries**
Ramuh: *blink* ... **pokes Jack; he falls over** The Triple Triad CC Club, I see. Spade? Come out .. Club, I know you're in there looking for panties that I've tried to steal. Ms. Trepe, I expected more out of you and your happy-go-groupie fan club. **walks up to Quistis' hiding place, and pulls her whip away** I expect you to get a less-than-kinky weapon later on.
Spade, Club, Quistis: **dully walks out of their hiding places**
Ramuh: Baaaah .. you don't know how many assassins there has been.
Spade: I don't care if you're armed or noooot! WAAAAAAAAAAAAI! **charges toward Ramuh with a Hexadragon card; he tosses it over at Ramuh**
Ramuh: Learned that trick from Setzer .. **easily catches the card** Unholy little buffoons .. **looks at his wrinkled hand and shrieks** Gaaaah! A papercuuuuut!
Spade: Booya! Who da maaan! **does a football touchdown dance**
Ramuh: Get out of the way, boy .. I need a word with Ms. Trepe. **sends a thundershock towards Spade**
Spade: .. WAAAAAAI! @_@
Ramuh: Ms. Trepe, Club. I see you have attempted assassination once again? This happens every year. You ignorant little @#$%, under-estimating us elders! We're more intelligent than you think we are. Infact, you nutters think we smell like crap .. HA! YOU'RE THE ONES WHO ReEeEeEeEeEK! Now, I suggest you get your prissy arse away to teach your class. Club, I suggest you get back into the cafeteria. You exit the hellhole way too much, you ungreatful brute.
Quistis: No, I WON'T go back in my class, and you can't make me.
Club: And no longer will I eat the Moomba crap the lunch ladies serve. That slop's color is more sick than my green!
Quistis: Xu! Diamond Princesses! Now's the time to strike!
Xu (from the vent system): Stop bitchslapping me! Dammit, stop .. gaah, you busty little freak! Stup-- ah-- !! Hyaaah!
Diamond Princess 1: Ew! AAWWWWHA! Giiiiirl!
Diamond Princess 2: My eyeliner!! Ooaaahh .. @#$%^ .. omagod!
Xu, Diamond Princess 1, Diamond Princess 2: **each gives out mixed helps and screeches and curses, until all three of them fall out of the vent duct in a tangled ball; they're all unconscious**
Ramuh: Tee hee .. you made me release the ultimate icky-ickles of the universe. Balamb's new evil secret weapon. **before Quistis and Club can answer .. ** YOU ASKED FOR IT! Hya hya hyaaa .. Pikachuuuu, gooooooo! **a Pikachu dressed like WWF's Mankind waddles in**
Pikachu: Pi pi piii! **jumps into the air** Piiikaa-chuuuuuuuu! **LARGE thunderstorm erupts, ripping through the office ceiling and roaring around angrily**
Quistis, Club: @_@ *fried*
Ramuh: Fu fu fuuuuu! Smelly little fooools! Face the fury of the ultimate weapon! Reeespeeect yoooour elders! Fu fu fuuuuu!
[How could an old fogey actually defeat the illustrious CC Club? Why, not even Ramuh could destroy such a group, especially with the Carbuncle and Gilgamesh card on their side. But wait .. wasn't there another person in the CC Club?]
Ramuh: Fu fu fu .. that felt gooood. So goood ..
Pikachu: Pik-a-chu! **flails his paw around; the one with the Mr. Socko on it**
Joker: **walks out of the elevator, and peers at the little Pikachu** I take it that your plan succeeded into eliminating the fumbling group?
Ramuh: Damn straight, young bimbo. Tell me, how demonic can you hellchildren can be when you can betray your own kind?
Joker: Heh. You don't know their whining. They all faced suspension, I assume?
Ramuh: Except for Ms. Trepe.
Joker: .. do tell about each one of them .. **grins** How I want to savor this moment ..
Big-Headed Announcer Guy: The following concludes today's fanfic and the consequenses for the guilty parties. **pans to Jack, who looks like he is taking his mug shots**
Jack: .... **false, shameful look on his face**
Big-Headed Announcer Guy: CC Club member Jack has been sentanced to two weeks suspension after a four-hour detention crammed under Ramuh's desk.
Jack: **turns pale**
Big-Headed Announcer Guy: **pans to Club** CC Club member Club has been sentanced to bitch-slaps by the lunch ladies for insulting the school's well, bountiful food supply and for his perverting ways towards Ramuh's panty collection. He then must face eight-days suspension.
Club: **has already had red slap-marks on both his cheeks** Hurry up, I'm supposed to be on my bathroom break.
Big-Headed Announcer Guy: Stop whining. **pans to Diamond Princesses 1 and 2** CC Club member Diamond Princess 1 and 2's cosmetics have been confinscated for a month.
Diamond Princess 1 and 2: EWWWW! WE'RE ALL UGLY AND LIKE, BLOTCHY! WAAAH! **both puts a pink, pastel-colored bag atop their heads**
Big-Headed Announcer Guy: They will also be confinscated of their flowery, cherry-filled pastel-colored bags. They will then be faced to an isolated six-day suspension. **pans to Spade**
Spade: **sobbing**
Big-Headed Announcer Guy: CC Club member Spade has been sentanced to three weeks suspension. During this time, his Xu Shrine material will be confinscated.
Spade: **loud wailing**
Big-Headed Announcer Guy: **pans to Xu** Xu has been sentanced to doing personal hygiene favors to Ramuh.
Xu: **disgusted moaning**
Big-Headed Annoncer Guy: Suspension is invalid for SeeD members. Therefore, her SeeD rank has been dropped to a large quantity of numbers. So large infact, that it has now been diminished to the negative integers.
Ramuh: Xuuuu! Give me a foot ruuuub!
Xu: **shudders in sheer disgust**
Big-Headed Announcer Guy: **pans to Quistis** Ms. Quistis Trepe is invalid for suspension, not only because she herself is an instructor, but a SeeD member. Therefore, her SeeD rank has been dropped to a large quantity of numbers like Xu. She has also been punished to wear an outfit fitting to her weapon for a week. **camera pans to Quistis' breasts** She currently looks like Laine of Palemoon from Dragon Force on the Sega Saturn, and has actual cleavage visible.
Quistis: **covers her cleavage angrily** Stop looking at me! I-I don't WANT to wear a dominatrix suit! G-g-go somewhere away f-from me!
Big-Headed Announcer Guy: **sigh** If I must .. **pans to Zell** Mr. Zell Dinct is also invalid to suspension since he too is a SeeD member. His SeeD rank has been dropped to the extreme.
Zell: **mouths some rather .. colorful words**
Big-Headed Announcer Guy: Permission for him to get hot dogs in the cafeteria is denied for a month. He is currently facing quadriple-detention. Carbuncle will be able to gawk at him.
Zell: **looks away angrily**
Big-Headed Announcer Guy: **pans to Irvine** Mr. Irvine Kinneas has been sentanced to six-days detention for putting the moves on an instructor and scaring away Instructor Cactuar, as well as being involved in the threats of terrorist acts to the headmaster. His really nice hat will be confinscated for a month.
Irvine: Heeey! That ain't faaair .. don't do this, or I'll sleep with your daughters!!
Big-Headed Announcer Guy: **pans to Selphie** Ms. Selphie Tilmitt has been sentanced to decreasement of SeeD rank because of annoying cheerfulness and affiliation with terrorist acts.
Selphie: **still has a wide grin on her face**
Big-Headed Announcer Guy: Ms. Tilmitt must cut onions up for cafeteria duty. Her sobbing will cause her deep pain. **pans to Rajin**
Rajin: I shouldn't really be here, ya know? I mean, I didn't even do any of this stuff, ya know?!
Big-Headed Announcer Guy: Rajin has been sentanced to personal hygiene favors to Carbuncle, for interfering with the young GF's space. He has also been subjected as Carbuncle's lackey, for underaged humans are highly discouraging and illegal in the GF's Burleasque house.
Rajin: Hey, I didn't know that hole would lead to a place where dere's gamblin' and girls in big ol' bras, ya know?!
Big-Headed Announcer Guy: Bad excuse.
Carbuncle: **pops out from his hole, and drags Rajin down the hole**
Rajin: EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW, ya know!!
[Fin]