Have you ever told a lie so much that it becomes the truth?

Her first move---> "What are you thinking about?"

I looked over at Elena and into those big curious eyes. I couldn’t answer her. One because I just couldn’t find the words to explain myself and two because it seemed too ludicrous and menial that it wasn’t worth talking about. So I sat and looked blankly into her gaze.

"Sorry."

She sat up in her chair and looked away from me a bit nervous and on edge. I didn’t realise my staring caused her to feel uncomfortable at that moment. I tend to do that, I should learn to stop.

"So why are you wearing a sling on your arm? It’s not like you broke your arm and need it or anything."

I’ve got to hand it to her. She is very persistent. And it was quite brave of her to continue talking to me, even if she did change the subject. One day, perhaps, that persistence will pay off and she will make a very good Turk. Once she gets rid of a few minor imperfections. But it’s not something I would tell her. One day she’ll know on her own account.

Maybe it doesn’t help that I call her weak. But for the time being she is weak. And, I must admit, I also do it to get a rise out of her. She definantly makes work a lot more interesting. Although, the same could be said about me and my little episodes, I do love our little quarrels about nothing.

I looked at the sling on my arm and decided to answer her before I made her feel even more uncomfortable and anger her when I didn’t mean to anger her.

"I felt like wearing it."

She stared at me for a moment. Now it was her turn to evaluate me and my person, to ponder my existence and to search for the grounds and structure that our relationship was based upon.

"You just felt like wearing an arm sling?"

I shrugged, "Ya."

"That’s so stupid, why the hell do you do such idiotic things? What do you get from wearing a sling on your arm when your arm isn’t even broken? Is it some sort of attempt to get a sick day? Jeez. You were already on a sick leave. Do you really think you need more!?"

It seems I spurned the anger out of her anyhow. And by simply wearing an arm sling.

"No. Just because I find it comfy. This way I don’t have to hold my arm up like this and tire myself."

She looked at me with her mouth open and her eyes mocking me with an exasperated yet unbelieving glint. I almost laughed but instead I raised my hand, the one that wasn’t in the sling, to my face and rested my chin in the palm to hide the slight smirk that was forming behind my fingers. I thought the arm sling was a rather good idea. Althought the very idea of it is similar to those epifanies we have early in the morning when we are half awake but are still left in our little dreamworld. They make absolutle sense to us and at the moment, it is the most brilliant thing one could imagine.

Her next move----> "Oh my God.", putting her forehead in the palm of her hand.

"What?"

"I can’t believe you."

"What!?", I outstretched my "good" hand like I was waiting to receive something. Even though I knew the obvious answer to my question, I wanted to hear it from her. She needs to speak her mind. And I provide that for her. I’ve noticed that she’s not afraid to tell me exactly what’s on her mind. Whether it be from her mouth or her body language. She’s not afraid with me. She’s almost a free person. Well...almost.

"I can’t believe your shallow and lazy enough that you can’t do a simple job like holding up your arm. Well, you never hold your arms up! You just kinda stuff them in your pockets like your too lazy to even let your arms hang down at your sides."

At this moment I put my hand to my mouth again but I couldn’t cover my amusement as well as I had earlier.

"What? You think I’m funny!? Like I’m here for your own sick, personal amusement!? God! Your no better than some beer-guzzleing-kegger-jock you know that! And your probably no smarter either!"

I let out a chuckle and cocked my head to the side lifting my eyebrows and my arms as if saying ‘Well, what can I do?’.

She turned her head quickly while rolling her eyes and making a ‘Psffft!’ noise. Then she proceeded to shake her head at me.

I laughed subtly and quietly in my chair. Then she turned and looked at me again.

"And you know what? I don’t want to know what you were thinking about earlier. It was probably stupid anyhow, I’m sure that’s all your capable of. You prove it with that sling of yours."

~Hmmm...there’s that circle again. She went back to the first thing she spoke about.~

"Ohhh.....", I spoke to her like a parent telling their child that they were taking things a little bit overboard.

"Don’t you ‘Ohhhh...’me". She slumped in her chair and crossed her arms.

"Don’t be angry."

"Pishh......", and I was ignored. <----her final move.

I smiled at her but she didn’t see me. She believed me to be her bully. And to her that was the truth. She made that her truth. To me it stood as something else, something I can’t quite explain. Perhaps I never will be able explain it and perhaps there will never be a need to explain myself. It’s all there is, her belief and my understandings. In my mind at least. In her mind it's a whole different world that I would never be able to concieve, much less understand.

I believed in things once. I still do. None come to mind but they’re there. It’s only human to believe in something. I think we would die of paranoia if we didn’t have something to believe in. We would question our being, our purpose, our existence and sacrifice our sanity. Little truths hidden in lies, little lies hidden in truth.

I can clearly say I have lied to myself and to others that my lie has become my truth and I have forgotten the actual reality from which my false truth was spawned. Maybe it’s better this way. Maybe this is why I don’t reprimand Elena for judging me the way she does and showing her my actual being and let her wade beyond my shallowness and let her swim into the depths of my person. That’s how most people are. We rarely let people in the deep end. For fear that they won’t be able to handle it and to protect them from ourselves. This is the truth. And it is freedom for that other person. Life's a game of strategy, judgment, responding and counter-moving to those choices that we have made. Life is an elobrate game of chess or lacross.

Yes...I like the new rookie. She plays a most interesting game.

She makes me wonder what her next move will be.....