Hello.

This chain letter is 100% no bullshit decaffeinated acetone-free REAL! So follow the instructions or I'ma bust a cap in yo' ass, punk motherfucker. Something good will happen!!

LISTEN TO THIS LETTER AND GOOD LUCK!!!!!

Random and almost certainly fake horror story no. 1-
Sorry, but this chain letter is for real. When Gwendoline Wanker from Michigan got this letter for the first time, she ignored it and a week later the love of her life was drowned in the bathtub while having sex with her father AND his pet horse at the same time, so BEWARE, and just send the stupid letter!!!!!!

Random and almost certainly fake horror story number 2-
When Bernard Penis from Ohio received this chain he deleted it immediately, causing his entire harddrive full of child porn to be destroyed by the devastating "gullibility" virus! So you must pass this on or risk losing all your wank material!

Random and almost certainly fake horror story number 3-
Britney Spears from Slutsville Tennesee received this chain letter and damaged her ankle a week later as punishment for refusing to continue the chain. Later on she was taken to hospital, where her boobs swelled to a ridiculous size in some unrelated incident that had nothing to do with plastic surgery. This meant her entire wardrobe did not fit her! Such is the curse of not continuing the chain.

NOW THE CONSEQUENCES.....
The consequences are: If you break the chain letter, you will have bad luck in future relationships, your grades or carrer will go down the drain, you will get acne, your crush will catch Foot and Mouth and be incinerated by insane members of the british government, your computer will explode, Bill Gates will cry and Russia will declare war on America, causing nuclear armeggeddon and the destruction of the entire universe. If you don't break the chain, then congratulations! You will shortly receive an invite in the post to the newly opened "stupid gullible morons" society! You have been chosen to participate in the LONGEST and the LUCKIEST chain letter on the internet! Once read, this letter must IMMEDIATELY (meaning within the next 14 seconds) be sent to the entire population of North Wales. After you've sent it, prayed to satan, made a sacrifice to the Owl God with George W Bush and hit yourself over the head repeatedly with a frying pan covered in barbed wire, make a wish and it will come true!!!!! YOU MAY NOT WAIT FOR A CERTAIN TIME TO SEND IT........ REMEMBER, IT MUST BE SENT THE ENTIRE POPULATION OF NORTH WALES WITHIN 14 SECONDS, OR HORRIBLE HORRIBLE THINGS WILL HAPPEN TO YOU AS YOU SLEEP IN YOUR CHEAPLY ALARMED HOMES! IF THIS CHAIN LETTER IS CONTINUED UNTIL THE YEAR 6092, IT WILL BE PLACED IN THE GUINNESS BOOK OF WORLD RECORDS!!!!!!!!!!!!

PLEASE CONTINUE IT NOW!!! *WARNING* IF YOU DO NOT PASS THIS ON, I WILL PERSONALLY COME AROUND TO YOUR HOUSE TO MURDER YOU! IF YOU BREAK THE CHAIN LETTER (IT HAS BEEN GOING SINCE 78BC) YOU WILL DIE OF RABIES AFTER BEING BITTEN BY AN OBESE PERSON. THIS IS NOT A JOKE!

And remember, if you scroll down to the bottom you will see Winnie the Pooh poledancing, but only if you forward this letter to 19017 people in the next ten seconds!