Some Might Say
By Quistis Chick

Just like me you got needs
And they're only a whisper away
And we softly surrender
To these lives that we've
tendred away

- "Bed of Lies", Matchbox 20

She took one last glance down at his sleeping before closing the door quietly. Heading out the front door, she had second thoughts. Could she really leave him? She sat on the stone steps outside the small inn. She sighed and buried her head in her hands, her dark brown bangs sticking out between her fingers.

Was she making a terrible mistake? What if he really did love her? Was she just second best? The questions flooded her mind. She knew she couldn't compare to the other girl, the angel, in anyway. She was always just the friend. Always reliable, always there. The group's source for cheering up. Did they just see her as that? Did he?

It would be selfish to leave, she thought. To leave the others behind. She was a part of this group. But did they need her, really? Was she that essential?

She turned around at the sound of approaching footsteps. Her rival stood behind her, perfect, angelic . . . everything she wasn't. Her auburn hair was out of the usual braid, cascading down her shoulders. Tifa knew what she was going to say.

"What's wrong?" she asked. Tifa had guessed right. She ran a hand through her dark locks, forcing the smile she was so used to playing.

"Yes, just getting some fresh air," she mumbled. The girl nodded. She sat down on the steps by Tifa. Tifa closed her eyes and put her face into her cupped hands. The girl smiled at her.

"Yeah, me too. It's too stuffy in there," the girl said cheerfully. Tifa just sat there, thinking. Why is she always so damn nice to me? It's hard to hate her for what she is. But for what she has, a bit too easy. The girl looked up at the stars.

"They're so beautiful. Just think, we're only a tiny piece of a massive universe. Every now and then I wonder if we're making a difference, you know? If all our fighting is going to help any."

Tifa looked over at her. The girl's emerald eyes were dancing, jumping from star to star. She had to agree with her.

"Sometimes . . . I wonder if I'm making a difference by fighting. If I'm doing the right thing."

Tifa's eyes followed the outline the starlight made on the girl's face. She really did seem angelic, but Tifa realized she had flaws. Something wrong with her perfection. Her eyes weren't as bright as they were when she first met her. Her features not as soft. Now she had doubts about the future. This from a girl, a Cetra, so in tune with her surroundings. She was doubting her abilities.

"And then I think that maybe I'm the problem. I'm not good enough, not brave enough, not strong enough."

The girl looked down, and Tifa averted her gaze.

"Then I think . . . about the others. Do they really need me? Am I so essential that they couldn't do it without me? Why couldn't I be back home, oblivious to this mess we helped create?"

The girl's voice started to waver. Tifa suddenly realized everything this girl said, she felt as well. They weren't that different after all.

"But then I remember the faces I've seen. Nameless faces, faces I'll never see again. Faces that are oblivious, that don't fear what I fear, that don't know what's happening. I remember them, and I know why I'm still here, I know why I still fight."

Tifa looked at her, and the girl smiled. Her smile was faded. The girl sighed and stood up.

"Sorry to put you in a bad mood, I needed to tell someone, and I feel I can trust you. Well, good night," the girl said, walking back inside. Tifa turned her gaze back to the street. How selfish, she thought. I was about to leave, try to be one of the oblivious faces. How could I? I'd live with guilt forever. I'm too concerend about love to care about the Planet.

Tifa stood up. She gazed across the vast city of Junon. The streets empty, a change from the bustling daytime activities. What if it all looked like this. No people, no love . . .

"It shouldn't be so damn complicated," she muttered, turning back. She turned the doorknob and stepped back into the inn.

Ooookay. This wasn't supposed to turn out like this. I started out as Tifa leaving Cloud because she thought he loved Aeris more, then he's come out and yada yada, but oh well. I was listening to "Bed of Lies" by Matchbox 20, one of my new favorite songs. Anyhow, I keep doing all these Tifa fic lately! I don't know, the Aeris thing's just so . . . boring to me anymore. Well, hope you liked it a little! - Q C