A girl from Liverpool sits watching Cilla Black on blind date...

Cilla: A lorra lorra laughs 'ere, chuck!

Gez: Yeah and a lorra lorra sluts on the tv too. *click*

*A TV screen fills up with Baywatch models.*

Gez: Oh my god! David Hasslehoff! Swoon!!

*Hearts come out of Gez's head as her phone rings.*

Gez: Yay! A person is calling me!

*Gez runs to the phone and answers it*

Gez: Hello?

WASSSSSSSSSSSAAAAAAAAAPPPPP!!!

Gez: WASSSSSSAAAAAAAAPPPPP

WAAAAAAASSSSSSSPPPPPPPP

Gez: Wasp?

YEAH CHUCK! A LORRA LORRA WASSSSSSPSSSSS!

Gez: Oh god! Cilla Black? How the hell did you get my number?

Cilla: Well your mate Carlie started spamming, which was silly! And we got your number! And you do sound like a male! Would you like to come on the show?

Gez: GET BENT!

*The phone slams, Gez is furious*

Gez: Ohhh that bitch is gonna die!!!

*A furious Gez stomps out of Liverpool and gets a car and rides to Middlesborough...*

*A house in Middlesbrough.......*

Carlie:Oh! My superduper ultra mega shiny new happy nokia 7890787987342875903725904237302 with changeable cover, ringtone, icons, coffee maker and umbrella attachment is ringing! I wonder who it could be!

*Picks up phone* WHASSSUUUUUUUUUP!

Caller:WHAAASSSUUUUUUUP!

Carlie:WHAAAAAA-SSUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!

Caller:WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSS

Carlie:UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP

Caller:WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Carlie:SUU-Wait a minute, who are you?

Caller:*heavy breathing sounds* FSHHHH, Carlie.... FSHHHHHH, *Darth Vader voice* I am your father...

Carlie:Gez, is that you?

Gez:What?!?!? How the ^(^&*(&^(*&^*in' hell did you know?

Carlie:you're the only one dumb enough to pull something like this.

Gez :^&*(^(*.

Carlie: And you sound like a guy. Hey! Cilla Black phoned you didn't she?

Gez-^&*^*(&^&*^(&*^*&(^(*&!!!!!!! *hangs up.*

*A loud thump sounds at Carlies door*

Carlie: Oh who could that be?

*She opens the door to see Gez with a chainsaw.*

Carlie: Ohhhhh, shit...

*She runs upstairs to see a very angry Gez ripping through her carpet*

Carlie: Wahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! Must save nokia!!

*She runs to her room and shuts the door*

Carlie: Phew!

*The chainsaw cuts through the door.*

Gez: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! HERES A LORRA LORRA LAUGHS!!

Carlie: oh mother of mercy forgive me for spamming......

*her nokia rings and she answers it.*

Carlie: He...hello?

Caller:...What's your favourite scary movie?

Carlie:...G...Gez?

Caller:No...not Gez...

Carlie: Who...who...are...you?

caller:I'M CILLA CHAN!! AHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!

*Chainsaw noises are heard behind her door as Gez's manly screams are turned to whimpers as blood soaks the door.*

Carlie: OH MY GOD!!

Cilla-chan: Oh yes carlie! and we are coming for ALL THE FIC LIST!! A HAHAHAHAHAH!!

Carlie: Nooooooo!!!

*Carlie takes her nokia and uses the umbrella function to break from her room.*

Carlie: Mommy!!!! *Cilla's cackles can be heard from town to town as carlie runs...* TO BE CONTINUED...