RaNdOm InSaNiTaRy #78984

*Cheesy theme music played on a xylophone plays. Fast cutting shots of a Random Chatshow host are shown. The Random Chatshow host is seen smiling on a couch interviewing Cilla Black, holding a giant inflatable banana while talking to an irritating TV chef, breaking up two obese women in obscenely small amounts of clothing and talking to the camera with a smile as the studio burns and madmen run amok with chainsaws and stanley knives while random people in straight jackets hold up "HI MOM!" signs up to the camera with their teeth. The words "SUPAH MORNING!" in a gaudy rainbow font scroll onto the screen. Cut to the studio. The audience is clapping.*

Random chatshow host-Hello, and welcome to "Supah Morning!" I'm your host, Seymour Butts, and today's show promises to be even more mildly tolerable than the the last! Later, we'll be cooking with Ainsley Harriot-

*Camera cuts to Ainsley bound and gagged, attempting to struggle free as several chefs converge on him weilding meat cleavers.*

Seymour Butts-who I hear goes very well with spring vegetables and a good red wine. But first, performing live is international screech merchant Nelly Retardo with her all too successful song, "I'm like a cocksucking bird bitchass motherfucker."

*Nelly takes to the stage wearing hobnailed boots and a Sturm Abteilung uniform* WORD YO' BITCHASS MO'FUCKAZ! *Begins to sing...screech...whatever* I'M LIKE A MOTHERFUCKING BIRD...I'LL CRAP ON YOUR WASHING! EEEEEEEAAGGHH!!!!! *loud guitars then continue for five minutes*

Seymour Butts-*Clutches bleeding ears* I-is it over? It is? It's over! Um, Nelly Retardo everyone! *Removes hands from bleeding ears to half heartedly clap*

Audience-*remove earplugs and applaud*

Seymour Butts-*Squinting to read from a cue card* Now, for our next part of the show, I'd like you to welcome one of Britains most...abhorred-

*Shrill nasal voice from offstage*-ADORED!

Seymour Butts-No....*squints again* no, that definitely says abhorred. Er, whatever. Ladies and Gentlemen, ANNE ROBINSON!

Anne Robinson-*Enters wearing even bigger hobnailed boots and a Shultz Staffen uniform*

Seymour Butts-Please take a-

Anne-*Collapses into the interviewer's chair and puts her boots up on the glass table, shattering it*

Seymour Butts-*blink* um, seat. So um, Anne-

Anne-It's no use, pathetic worm. I won't tell you my evil plot to take over the world with Bill gates and Nelly Retardo.

Seymour Butts-*Blink* I wasn't-

Anne-Oh, I see how it is! In that case I have no choice but to tell you what I, Nelly and our evil overlord Bill plan to do with you!

Seymour-..........

Anne Robinson-Your witty comebacks won't help you here! *Whips out a spoon* Look. This is a spoon. Do you have a spoon? NO. So I suggest you shut up and listen! *She clears her throat* I shall start my story by showing a brief clip of my latest porn masterpiece, Fun at the Farm! I co-star with Bessie, a prize Angus cow-

Cheesy voiceover-We interrupt this broadcast to bring you loud static.

Loud static-BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT!