Chapter Two - The Shack

Having absolutly no other options, they had to stay in the shack. It was a small, uncomfotable, dirty little thing. The carpeting -oh wait, what crapeting? It was a drit floor. Dead animal skins hung from the rafters. When Irvine questioned why, the reply was simply - "It be a decoration, sonny. Gotta keep the place nice."

Several badgers had been locked in cages along the right wall. A beat up, old, green, plaid couch followed. Rikity stairs led up to a second floor. Breeder moths were stuck to the ceiling, protecting egg sacks. Along the other wall, a TV with two tin-foil anntenas blasted out old re-runs of 'Dukes Of Hazzards'. Dust lined the walls. An alligator head was mounted above a firplace, which was full of cob webs and spiders.

Squall, who's earleir attepmts to pry Rinoa off had failed, covered his mouth. Zell worked up enough courage to try and pet a badger, but immediatly pulled his hand hand back when it hissed, foam filtering out of it's mouth. Irvine took two steps into the house, and turned back outside, trying to escape. Selphie and Quistis moved in a huddled mass, and pulled him in before he could escape.

"Rooms upstairs. Go make yer selves at home." Zell knew that one was impossible. First off, he was used to carpet . . .

"Can anyone really live in here?" Rinoa wondered aloud as Sqaull crawled up the stairs. The extra weight was to much to carry. When he got upstairs, he almost fell over again.
Their 'room' was a massive thing, complete with three beds. They were covered in women's clothes. Squall was about to question, but was interrupted by a yell from downstairs.

"Woo doggy! Aren't you a handsome feller?! Are you married? Hmmmmmmmmmmmm?" a whiny, high-pitched voice (think Fran Gresner) rang out. Squall heard Irvine scream, then a massive "thud". He flopped Rinoa off and ran down the stairs. A massive flood of a girl was spread out over the floor.

Squall could make out a tiny bit of Irvine under the mass. The whale atop of his friend was trying to get up, crushing him. The girls tried to help him up.

"God, I can't breathe! #$%@&!" A muffled yelp rang out as the elephant-girl stood. She had on far too tight Capri pants, a tube top, and black sandals on. Her hair was sticking up worse than Zell's, and she had beedy black eyes. Squall immediatly assumed she was related to the old man.

"Roseanne, geet of our geests," the humped man said, hobbling over to the obese girl. She began drooling.

"But he's looks so yummy! What's yer name feller?" Irvine quivered with fear.

"Um, I'm . . . Pepper! Dr. Pepper!" The girl squeled and jumped up and down, knocking Quistis and Selphie to the ground. Irvine sweatdropped.

"He's a good catch pa! A real doctor! I want that one!" she extended a fat finger in Irvine's direction. He backed away into another girl.

This one had long blond hair in pigtails, cut-offs, and a tank top. She was a tad too skinny, and had on work boots. She would have been rather attractive except for her buck teeth. Irvine looked ready to cry as she fluttered her eyelashes at him.

"But pa! I want 'em!" She was about to grab him when she saw Zell. "Ooo no! That one! Uh huh huh huh!" She ran up to him. Another voice rang out.

"Me too I want one. I want another husband pa! Six jus' ain't enough!" This one looked like Rinoa's twin, only she had ratty hair and was much plumper. Squall had to blink several times to clear his head.

"Gurls gurls! Enough for yuh all! Three uh you, three of dem!" The old man said, spit flying out of his gaps.