Chapter Six - Mr. Sexy and the Beast

Squall woke up to Selphie fanning him with a hotel flyer. He shook his head clear and sat up. He looked around to see only Selphie and himself were awake. He turned to her.

"Where's Quistis?" he asked, suddenly alert. Selphie shrugged as he stood.

"I was so totaly not sure, so I woke you up first. Boy, Irvy sure does snore alot!"

Quistis is on the verge of gettin' a real nasty surprise, and she's concerned about Irvine's snoring??

"Guess I better save her . . ." Squall mumbled, pulling his gunblade seemingly out of thin air.

"Hey Squall! Before you go!" Selphie said. He turned to her.

"What?"

"Where the heck do you keep that gunblade?! You pull it out of your back, your leg, and air!"

"Magic Selphie. It's magic." He headed upstairs. Just as he reached the door with the sign reading "Do not enter! Seifer and Quistis are not in this room!" (which was written in crayon), he felt something heavy land on him.

***

Down in the lobby, the others were waiting for Squall to return. Yeah, they probably could go help him, but then again, Seifer wasn't anything Squall couldn't handle if he was armed with a toothpick. Zell got up and walked over to the phone.

"I'm gonna call Headmaster Cid and let him know our posisition," he said, dialing the Garden's number. A few minutes later, he put through to Cid's office.

"Why hello Zell. Is there a problem?"

"Well, sort of. But first . . ." Zell breathed in a huge breath of air.

"WAAAAAAASSSSSUUUUUUPPPPPPP?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!" he holered. Headmaster Cid jumped back in his office.

"Zell! I, oh hang on!" Cid said. He put Zell on hold and called Xu.

"Yes?"

Headmaster Cid screamed, "WASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSUUUUUUUPPPPPPP?!"

Xu called Nida. "WWWAAAASSSSSUUUUUPPPPPPP?!?!?!?!?!?!"

Nida called Edea. "WWWAAASSSSUUUUUPPPPPPP?!?!?!?!?!"

Edea said, "What the hell are you doing? Nida? Is that you?"

Nida hung up the phone.

Back in Cid's office, Zell and the Headmaster were laughing uncontrollably.

"WASSUP?!"

"WASSUP!"

Eventually, Selphie pried the phone from Zell's hands.

"Headmaster Cid, I have to apologize for Zell's childish behavior!" Selphie said. Cid immediatly stopped saying 'wassup' and went proper again.

"Ah, Selphie. What's your current sitiuation?"

"Well, we went on a road trip and got stuck at this old hermet's house, and Rinoa was scared! She lost her bounce-ity bounce! And me and Quistis and Rinoa got all caught in this big cage and Quistis swung across a swamp and Rinoa made Squall look stupid! And . . ." The words all ran together after a while.

"I see. Good luck!" Cid hung the phone up. It wasn't that he didn't care, but Dawson's Creek was coming on, and there was no way in the farthest reaches of hell he was going to miss it!

"Um, he hung up," Selphie giggled. Rinoa stood up and said -

"My Squally Wally Bear's been gone to long!" Everyone looked at her. "I-I mean, Squall's been gone a while." They all headed up the stairs, weapon's drawn. When they reached the top, Irvine screamed, Zell ran back down the stairs, and Selphie and Rinoa did the universal 'My-god-something-horrible-happened-we-have-to-hug-each-other'.

There, right in front of them, hog tied to a stick, was Squall. And holding that stick was Roseanne, one of the evil sisters from the shack!

"You want this handsome feller? Then meet me and my sisters in town square 'bout an hour. You don't show up and . . . something bad'll happen to Mr. Sexy here!" she siad, leaping out the window. She hit pavement and bounced back up. Zell ran to the window and peered out. He saw the three sisters and Squall run into the darkness. He tunred back around.

"Well, we - Irvine?" Irvine was rolling around onthe floor laughing. "What's so funny dude?"

"M-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-mr. S-s-s-sexy????!?!? Heeeeee heeeee heeeeee!"

Rinoa kicked Irvine in the shin. Irvine was in a mix of pain and out of breath from laughing so hard.

Suddenly, Rinoa's voice lowered to a deep, scary level. She picked up Irvine by the neck.

"NO ONE MAKES FUN OF MY MAN AND LIVES!" she said, throwing Irvine down the stairs. He hit Raijin and Fujin, who were coming up to stop them. Rinoa reverted back to her usual self, and ran down the stairs.

"My gosh! Did you fall down Irvine?" she asked sweetly. He shook his head to clear it.

"I - you - we - I - yeah. I fell," he grumbled, standing up. As soon as everyone else came down the stairs, they headed out side to save Mr. Sexy.