Chapter Three

Back in Mideel . . .

"What?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! We can't do the concert without our hearthrob!!" Lou, the Backstreet Boys' manager bellowed. He was screaming into a cell phone, yelling at a doctor. Brian had eventually called 911 and had Nick taken to extensive care, where he was being treated for major head injuries. The other BSB's were sitting in Brian's hotel room, watching re-runs of the Brady Bunch.

"Hey, wait a minute!" Howie declared, taking a break from making fun of Greg Brady's hair. "I had strep throat back when we did that concert in Wutai, and you did the concert without me!" Lou put his hand over the reciver.

"That's because no one likes you." He turned back to yelling at the doctor. Howie's bottom lip started to tremble.

"I like you, Howie," A.J. offered. Howie smiled, since A.J. was cool, and he liked him, then that must mean that he was cool too.

"Seriously, though, what are we going to do about this concert?" Kevin asked. Brian shrugged.

"We're gonna have to cancel it."


Over in Junon . . .

"Congratulations! You just one tickets to the Backstreet Boys concert, complete with backstage passes!" Carson said, handing the tickets to . . . some girl up on stage. she was jumping up and down like a idiot and crying.

Marlene started to turn back into a monkey. Cid ran up on stage.

"Yoink!" he announced, grabbing the tickets from Carson and running really fast back into the audience. Soon, AVALANCHE and the two Saiyans were hightailing it back to the Highwind, a mob of security guards behind them. Cid laughed at them as the Highwind took off.

"Ha ha! You gotta run faster than that! HA HA HA!" he said. He noticed one security guard had grabbed a hold of the bottm landing gear of the Highwind. "Hmm, how do we get that guy off?"

"Let's throw stuff at him!" Goku said.

"Yeah!" A chorus of responses rang out. Random objects were chucked at the security guard. He started to cry. After they threw everything but the kitchen sink at him, he was still hanging on. Vegeta threw the kitchen sink at him. He fell off. He died. Vegeta laughed.

Aeris, who took no part in the random object throwing escapade, turned on the radio. After the song that was on finished, the DJ came on.

"Hi everybody! This is Brandie on Midgar's hit radio station, CHOCO 101.1!! That was 'You Make Me Cry Like A Schoolgirl' by NSYNC! Speaking of boy bands, we just got word that the last 10 remaining tickets for the Backstreet Boy concert in Junon were stolen by a disgruntled old man, who took off in an airship. More on that later, 'cause right now, we have the newest hit by Britney Spears, 'Ooops! My Implants Fell Out," here on CHOCO 101.1!!"

Aeris switched the station.

"And next is Dexy's Midnight Runners with their one and only hit, 'Come on Eileen!', here on 105.7!"

Cid was looking for a place to hide till the MTV goonies gave up. He parked down in the forest outside of Mideel.

"Why did you pick Mideel?" Tifa asked. Cid shrugged.

"Coem on, Mideel is the tiniest remote town on the Planet, no one would look for us here," he explained.

"Come on Eileen! Oh I swear what he means! At this moment, you mean everything!! Yes . . ." everyone singing just kinda trailed off, since no one in the world knows more than the chorus of that song. They all got off the Highwind and headed for the town.

As they approached Mideel, they saw a mass off girls standing outside the hotel, throwing things at the windows. As they got closer, they could make out the signs that were held up.

Marlene and Yuffie gasped and ran foreward to join the mob. It was the insane group of girls that were awaiting the Backstreet Boys to emerge.

"Aw man! I hope none of them have to go poopy too! It's a long line!" Goku whined, havng been holding it in for a while now. Vegeta turned to him.

"POOPY?! You MORON! Say it like a man, but preferably don't say it at all!"

"I GOTTA TAKE A S**T!" Goku announced. All the girls turned to look at him, and they all screamed. Regardless of the poopy incident, he was cute. The average teenage girl's brain snapped to attention.


VEET! Cute Boy! Options:

A. Make eye contact
B. Giggle
C. Stare, then look away when he looks at you
D. Lunge

Option selected: . . . . . . . . . Option D.

All programs alined.

Ready to lunge.

VEET!

A mass of girls dropped their posters and gifts. They turned to look at Goku. In perfect unison, they faced him, stood ready, crouched, then pounced.

He couldn't even scream as they swarmed over him. Brian looked out the window of his room.

"They've found a new target! Time to evacuate!" he annoucned. The Backstreet Boys all ran downstairs and out the hotel. The ran into the woods, where their bus was. They got in and were ready to go, when Kevin saw something move in the back. He turned slowley, and saw -

"MY BABY!" Yuffie announced, lunging on top of him. He screamed as the others turned around.

"I WANT! I WANT!" Marlene exclaimed, pouncing and latching onto A.J.'s face.

No one heard the screams over the sound of the girls attacking Goku. !