Random Insanity #7977376594768934
the product of some food poisoning suffered by Emerald Embers
Louise_cmi_vc@hotmail.com
Rated pg-12 for swearing and stuff
non-profit fan-fiction
No offense to any of the stars of this fic!
Some guy from NSync; ... and I said, "That's not a smoked salmon, that's my brother!
[cue fits of canned laughter]
T.V. Presenter; And that was... *looks at cue card* Joey from NSync, talking about their new single, that's NEW SINGLE, out on May 22nd which you must BUY! Get your parents to give you money and go BUY!
Director; And... cut! Perfect take!
Presenter; Yeah, I know, I'm great. I'll be in my trailer if you need me.
[inside trailer]
Emerald; Are you sure she's coming?
Crunchbucket; *grits teeth at thought of children's T.V.* Grr...
Carmilla; Have patience, my child. *polishes 'I love Giles' badge on jumper with pride* All things come to those who wait.
[Presenter enters]
Emerald; LYNCH MOB ATTACK!!!
Crunchbucket; *cackles evilly* time for justice little one! *revs up chainsaw*
Random sound effect; Togepppppi!
Carmilla; What was that sound?!
[Emerald reaches into bag and pulls out perpetrator]
Pokemon plushie; Togepppppi!
Crunchbucket; *holding chainsaw at presenter's neck* No... must... destroy... aargh... urge... to kill... fading... oh damnit! *drops chainsaw on presenter and runs to cuddle plushie*
Presenter; UUURGH!
[blood and viscera spray the over the walls as Crunchbucket 'forgot' to turn the chainsaw off]
Emerald; Whoopsies. I shouldn't have worn white.
Carmilla; Don't worry, red suits you.
Crunchbucket; What *is* this?
Emerald; My pokemon plushie! Didn't I tell you about my plan for world peace?
Crunchbucket; No.
Emerald; Plushies remove the desire for violence! I'm going to send plushies to every single resident of the world!
Crunchbucket; Making you, the supplier of plushies, ruler of the known universe?
Emerald; Well, there *is* that...
[meanwhile]
Sephiroth; Because, Cloud, you are a... *thud* ow! What was that?!
Cloud; You killed Aeris! My life will never... *thud* huh? *picks up furry white object* what does this do? *squeezes it*
Plushie; Togepppppi!
Cloud; So... strange... but... so... ooh! *cuddles plushie* Sephy-chan, some and look at this!
Sephiroth; SEPHY-CHAN?! Why you...
Plushie; Togepppppi!
Sephiroth; ... you... you.... adorable fluffy thing! That is so cute! *turns to Cloud* let's never fight again!
Cloud; Oh Sephy!
Sephiroth; Oh Cloud-chan! *they embrace*
Emerald; *watching her playstation screen* I don't think they wrote THAT in the walkthrough. Oh well. *turns to camera* all's well that ends well! And remember kids... spread plushie-love throughout the world!
The End