Move 315: Chatting
Grell Nest--Midday, Day 29 (Marpenoth 14)Olaf went to examine the pillar while almost everyone else sat around despondently. After a few minutes, the old priest came back. Both Azrun and Aloysius spoke to the group about some things that were weighing on their minds, opening the floor to further discussion.
Olaf said, "Well, what next? I am drained of nearly all my prayers. I imagine we should continue forward though. I do not think the slaves can continue to afford our constant stops. We are unlikely to meet another massive threat so close to the grell, and cn cover some ground, resting closer to our next target."
Arachne had looked up from her conversation with Jana when Azrun and Aloysius started a new discussion. "Um," the gnome whispered, when the bard had recounted himself, "do want us to call you Benjamin now, or should we continue with Azrun?"
Azrun smiled slightly, "I've gotten quite used to Azrun now, Arachne. It would be hard to go by Benjamin again."
"I have a suggestion," Arachne said. "I think that no-one will welcome it, but I _would_ appreciate it if you all could at least think about it..." She leaned against a wall, then sighed and seated herself on the ground against the wall. "Jana needs to return to the surface. I think we have to respect that. I think that, even if we managed somehow to talk Jana into _not_ returning to the surface, she would not be at anywhere near her best while staying with us. But, without her, the chances of success for the rest of us down here are seriously impaired. We need Jana -- but we need a Jana who doesn't exist right now.
"Now, I can return Jana to the surface so that she can do whatever is needful there to make herself hale and whole. I can, in fact, return the whole party to the surface -- although I'd require two trips to make that happen. I would need perhaps a whole day of rest (half above and half down here again) before I could make the second trip occur. Because that would leave half of the party down here for a full day, Jana considers the whole idea out of the question. I think the question should still be considered, but I have to concede that my slowness to complete the move is a drawback.
"The question, as I see it is this: We need a Jana who is free of the curse in order to complete our mission here below. In order to free herself of the curse, Jana has to defeat someone on the surface using or taking a certain sword -- Look, I'm sketchy about those details, but I do know that it's surface work. But I don't see that particular obstacle as seriously different from any of the obstacles we're finding down here. It just happens to be located where the sun shines. "I propose that we withdraw to the bag-creature's lair. It seems to me to be a dead-end cave, so that it's an easier defensive position. I propose that I move everyone to the surface and that we all go help Jana take care of her problem. With all of our help, perhaps Jana can get the business done more quickly. Then, when we're ready to come back, I'll borrow invisibility from someone -- please -- and come back to the lair to make sure no-one's moved in. If it's safe, I'll move us in. (Actually, I guess if anyone else could scrye the location from the surface, that'd be better. We can think more about those details later.) Anyway, we come back and resume our work here.
"I'll admit it: I think I'm feeling the moral outrage and urgency to address the evil that's down here a lot less strongly than many of you. Perhaps all of you. Obviously, I'm not as good as the rest of you: I'm an ethical slug and I can imagine interrupting this quest down here in order to help one of my friends --" The gnome frowned. "Assuming that you can be friends with someone you're scared to death of," she sighed. "Anyway, I know that all of you will be emphatic about the need for us to continue the quest and I honor you for that firmness of your resolve. My own resolve is always awfully squashy and I -- I just wanted to suggest this..." Arachne looked down at her hands.
Aloysius studied Arachne for a moment and then nodded his head. "'Tis a sound and prudent suggestion," he pronounced. "Assuming, of course, that Janathell wants our assistance," he added, looking over at the dark-haired fighter.
"I doubt seriously that Stargazer will be very useful in assisting Janathell with her predicament. I say this because it seems she must return to the Gleaming Glade, and the weave is dead there. Howe'er, I would be glad to see the sun again, and perhaps I could consult with Tauster whilst the rest of thee attend the Glade. Perhaps he has additional incantations that I might acquire."
Looking about he added, "I don't see that leaving four of us down here for a short period of time is that much riskier than all of us being here and wandering about. Depending, of course, on which 4 we choose and where it is determined they wait."
He nodded his head again with renewed enthusiasm. "'Tis a good suggestion, Arachne, and one that Stargazer supports."
"Huh?" The gnome looked up at the stargazer. "But you'd just said...I mean, I thought you were --" She blinked and then smiled shyly. "I've _persuaded_ you, perhaps? Well, I _am_ grateful, Aloysius. Truly. It's nice not to be laughed out of court." She rested her chin on her hands, looking almost contented.
Azrun smiled and went to stand over next to Aloysius, "As do I. If the weave is indeed dead there, then I'll use my bow." He looked to Jana, "You can't get rid of us that easy, Jana. If you're going to rid yourself of the curse you're going to need all of our help."
Jana stood. "I'm not trying to get rid of anyone," she said in a dead voice, "and I'm not going to let anyone get killed because I have to go fix my own damned mistake. I should just taken the fucking herbs," she muttered bitterly. "Excuse me, please," she said as she walked into the next cavern and out of sight.
Echo remained seated with her cowl up. Her voice was not as flat but she did not sound happy. "The curse might be over by now," she said. "I wouldn't bet on it but we don't know. Lytern, Kuiper, and Gala found a sword at least several days ago. I learned a scrying spell to try to find out but my spell components aren't ready yet. It'll be another day or two before they dry. I think it would be a better idea to get information by scrying or divination before we split ourselves to make a risky and maybe needless trip back to the surface. If Jana wants our help, that is," her voice went flat again. "In the meantime, we can finish here and get as far as we can past here."
Jana hurried on to the next cavern, looking as though she'd been poleaxed.
"Please don't leave yet, Jana." Olaf said, "We need to talk this out calmly and choose the best options. All the options have danger, none are completely safe."
Olaf says firmly, "And we need to make our choices without foolish baggage. We've all bleed together and formed a bond. Let's not dishonor that bond by refusing each other's help."
"While I tend to agree with Arachne concerning the trip back, I think it is premature. Unless I misunderstand, Jana doesn't yet _have_ the sword she needs. And unless I _really_ misunderstand returning to the surface without it won't cure it. Finally, Jana, didn't it seem to you that the sword found by the previous group seemed like the sword you need? In that case, i think we need to trace their most likely route and find that sword." Olaf concluded.
"They will be at Kuiper's, I suspect," said Aloysius. "Unless Lytern took the sword back to the keep."
He sighed. "Would that we could speak without disregarding the feelings and privacy of one another," he lamented.
Jana hurried on out of the cavern, perhaps not hearing Olaf.
Olaf repeated himself loudly so there could be no doubt he was heard, "Please don't leave yet, Jana." Olaf said, "We need to talk this out calmly and choose the best options. Please. For once."
Perhaps Jana had heard Olaf the first time because she did not return.
Olaf threw up his hands. "I am old and cantankerous, I admit. But I am very tired of this constant hand wringing. By Damnation! We have two problems, saving the prisoners, and ending Jana's curse. That's it, two problems. Two damn simple problems. We know basically how to end her curse, and we know basically how to save the prisoners. Can we just get bloody well on with it? Do we have to debate feelings every ten feet we descend?"
Obviously giving up Olaf flung himself down against a wall. "Great Tyr give me strength..."
"If indeed we can end the curse on Jana, I would choose that first, if only because it is a shorter road and it lies under the open sky." Blacky said "The glade took some companions from us as well."
Jana's reaction had removed the look of contentment from Arachne's face, but Echo's information had made her eager again. "You can scrye now?" she asked. "Or will be able to pretty soon? That's neat! That's great -- and sure, I definitely agree with you that we might as well continue down here until we can get some more information about what's going on up top. I didn't know what you had going on when I spoke about organizing an expedition back up to the Glade -- or wherever we would need to go on the surface. I don't really understand the rules around Jana's curse. I mean, I guess there's _a_ magical sword involved and part of our problem is that we keep hearing about _several_ magical swords and I don't know whether anyone knows which magical sword is the right one for Jana. Or whether _any_ old magical sword will do -- but that's pretty unlikely. But since Jana's been asking me to help _her_ get back to the surface, I just thought that whatever Jana was in a hurry to do we might be able to help her with." The gnome sighed in her place against the wall. "I'm sorry, Olaf," she said contritely, "if all I've done is set us to talking in circles again. Echo, why does Jana seem disinterested in waiting for you to scrye the situation?"
Olaf grumbled, "Talking out solutions isn't talking in circles. it's the melodramatics which are the circles."
"I know a scrying spell now," Echo confirmed. "I figured I better learn one since I don't think anyone else can do it. Every time I suggested scrying or divining, no one has stepped forward."
She sighed again, "Jana's upset about the way this last fight went for the reasons that Aloysius pointed out a minute ago. We don't work together. I think I can safely say that every one of us here has at one point or another disregarded the plan or the commands because we think we know better. And we're probably right sometimes about knowing what to do better, but it's impossible to work together like that. Jana thinks we're going to get killed because of the way we do battle. If she's the battle leader, it'll be her fault in her mind, just like she blames herself for letting Daelen go off on his own. She catches hell from us about what she tries to do so she thinks it's because of her leadership that we act that way."
"As a group, we say a lot of mean things to each other, sometimes on purpose sometimes not. It hurts her feelings when people say mean things to her, whether the rest of you realize it or not. She's not nearly so tough as she tries to act. No one else wants to lead, so she wants to leave so it's not her fault when we die. I don't think she's planning to come back. Anyway, that's why she's in a hurry and that's why she says she doesn't want our help. That's what I think anyway. She knows I learned the scrying spell. She was excited when I told her about it a few days ago. Now she's upset and just wants to go," she sounded hurt.
"Strictly talking about the curse and not about why Jana is in a hurry, I understand the curse is that a certain sword is involved," she added. "If it's the one Azrun told us they already found, that's good. I have some faith in the Kuiper's abilities and Lytern's determination. Jana told him what had to be done and they might be able to do it. I doubt Jana feels that way. If they've got the wrong sword, then there's another problem. It could be the sword mentioned in that journal page. Or it could be another sword altogether. That's why I said we need more information."
"Can you scrye for the right sword?" Arachne asked. "Or scrye the swords we know about and see if they look right?" She shrugged and said dejectedly, "All right: That doesn't sound very plausible..."
Aloysius sighed and looked upwards for a moment. "'Twould seem that we have a most perplexing problem," he said. "We need Janathell, but she is rightfully concerned about where our discordant actions will lead. Doubts have I that mere promises on our parts to 'do better' will suffice to assuage her concerns."
"Echo," he continued, now sounding a bit uncomfortable, "do you think you could convince her to stay at least until you are able to cast your spell and try to determine what is occurring aboveground? Mayhap we could think of some way to hasten the preparation of your components. What are they exactly? Did you say they needed to dry out?"
"That's Jana's problem, not ours." Olaf said firmly. "No has accused a priest of Tyr of desiring chaos, but Jana has tried to control this group too tightly. There is far less chaos in this group then in most I've seen. Jana doesn't trust us, that's the problem. We need a leader, but a leader needs to trust the followers. The battles are actually going well, and the group works decently as a team. Jana only makes us less efficient by her constant threats to leave."
"I don't recall that 'no one else' wants to lead." Olaf said gruffly, "But we all trusted Jana. She's responded with no trust in us. This isn't a band of soldiers. And what bloody mean things? I can't recall a single unkind word since Daelen got himself eaten. I _do_ recall a bunch of people going out of their way to take offense at everything each other said."
Olaf shook his head, looking suddenly very old and tired. "I'm too old for these silly games, and this mission is too important. Jana needs to grow up, period. That girl's guilt complex is nothing more then self-centeredness. She thinks she is to blame for ever thing, it seems. Must make her feel very important but the world doesn't work that way. We take responsibility for our actions, and we let others take responsibility for their own actions. Unless one is a priest of Cyric intent upon enslaving people!" Olaf shook his head again. "No matter what we can't seem to avoid spirally our discussions into this morass of over-extended feelings."
"I guess I need to grow up too, then," Arachne said. "I can definitely appreciate wanting to feel important and accepting blame in order to have that feeling." She nodded. "Yes, that's me -- and perhaps anyone who worries about being useless." She looked up from the cave floor.
"So you think that growing up might help one get rid of that approach to this mission? And it also causes one to retract their feelings, or extend them less? I'm not sure that I like _that_ part of growing up."
"I'll not continue to be held hostage by her whims." Olaf said firmly. "The group fought just fine. People die in battle. That is a simple fact. War is chaos, that's why smart folks avoid it whenever possible. The only guarantee needed here is Jana's promise to stop pouting and get on with the business of saving herself and those people."
Olaf said even more firmly, "Being respectful of the dead means understanding they made sacrifices for a reason. If _I_ die down here don't any of you _dare_ to blame yourselves. _I_ chose to be here, and it's the right fight. If I died, I died for the right cause, and by my own choice. Unless you intend to enslave me, those _are_ my choices. Jana's insistence on constantly blaming herself is completely disrespectful to the memory of the people she mourns."
Azrun's face reddened as he glared at Olaf. It looked as if it took him quite some time and willpower to remain silent. Finally, he pulled his spellbook out and flipped through it, just to calm himself down for a bit.
Seeing Azrun's glare Olaf shakes his head, "I know, I know. Jana goes through her typical post-battle whining and threatens to leave us but I'm the one being a jerk."
Azrun looked up from his book, "I just don't agree with your opinion of the situation, Olaf. But to keep this from diverging into another conversation, I chose to keep my opinion to myself. This discussion is about whether or not we should go and help Jana remove the curse topside. How people react when others die is not up for debate as we are all differnt people and deal with that grief in differnt matters. If Jana chooses to blame herself then so be it." With that he returned to flipping through his spellbook.
"That's an over-extended feeling, right?" Arachne asked Olaf. "Azrun getting annoyed at your reaction to people dying in the fight against these underground slavers. No, sorry: I'm getting it wrong." She got to her feet again and went over to the old priest. "The reaction of yours that annoyed him was to _Jana's_ method of mourning the people who've died in the fight against the underground slavers. Wow! That's complicated: Your expressed opinion of Jana's behavior annoys Azrun -- and Azrun," (she turned to face him) "I apologize for digging at this when you are clearly acting as though you feel that we have other, more important things to talk about. But these over-extended feelings, they're all about the _care_ we have for each other, aren't they?" She turned back to Olaf. "And about how much it matters to us what others say to us or about us? The feelings are _there_, like it or not. The opinions and judgements we have of one another are going to exist, talk about it or no." She reached out to Olaf's new hand. "And the trust we have in one another -- well, that's the core of the complaint, isn't it?"
Azrun looked to Arachne and smiled a bit, "That's pretty much it, Arachne."
"Death is a 'simple fact' that we seek to avoid," replied Aloysius. "And anytime Stargazer must end a fray by rushing headlong into battle with dagger drawn does not qualify as 'fine' fighting. Our main problem hasn't been that we don't do as our leader asks, but that we don't even wait for her to provide direction."
He looked at Blacky. "Eric, know that I regard thee with the utmost respect, so kindly infer nothing from my using you as an example. In charging the tentacle beast, know do I that your heart was in the right place and that you sought to serve our best interests. But methinks Janathell would have preferred to withdraw at that point, and mayhap engage the beast in another setting, or not at all. By moving ahead, you gave the rest of us no choice but to move ahead to support you. You decided for all of us, and in a manner that was contrary to what our leader would have preferred. It all ended well, but it very well could have been otherwise."
Aloysius looked around at the others. "At some point or another, methinks it likely that all of us have acted rashly. When we encounter an entity, or entities, that we suspect will be hostile, we must give Janathell the opportunity to serve in the capacity for which we chose her. To do otherwise invites chaos and death."
The mage walked over to Olaf and placed a hand on his shoulder. "You serve us well with your zeal, Olaf. But methinks thou art incorrect when you say we are
not 'soldiers'. We are all 'soldiers', albeit unwilling ones. In reality, there are but a few of our number who have trained for, or sought, any of the adventures that this group hath met thus far. Janathell is one of the few who have, and she is the only one with any training in tactics. That and her fierce resolve in combat make her the obvious choice as leader. As she is . . . our friend . . . we've no choice but to respect her feelings, no matter how illogical or immature you may find them.""Now, perhaps we should rest and then decide our next course. It does not seem likely that we are going anywhere, regardless, in the next few hours or so."
"And I don't think that I _can_ do better -- or much want to," Arachne said. "I'm not _nice_ and I _did_ snap at her when she tried to lecture me about following orders after the first part of the bag-beast fight." She shook her head. "Yes, it was a pretty longwinded snap and I tried to apologize afterwards because I felt both justified and guilty about it. At the same time, which is messy -- and doesn't make for a very sincere-sounding apology, either..."
Arachne shook her head. "I like you Aloysius," she said. "But I don't agree with you. Is that all right? Can I do that? I don't believe that Jana's military training in tactics is worth a fig down here in caverns where she can't see and we're encountering things that, at best, we've only heard about vaguely. Now fierce resolve is a good thing in a leader, I do agree with you about that. But I say that we're not soldiers and the military model won't fit us. We don't have the heirarchical minds for it. What _our_ leader has to do, is guess in an instant what we're going to want to try to do _anyway_ -- and then get in front. If no-one else feels strongly at the moment, but Blacky _really_ wants his axe back, then _our_ leader is likely to be most successful if she improvises a scheme that co-ordinates with Blacky's going after the axe. That might be a dumb move in the military handbooks, but it's more likely to feel right in this group. And it's more likely to _work_."
"Certainly one may disagree with . . . " began the mage, before he began to fidget. "Janathell had no chance to 'improvise', Arachne, for Eric had already acted. In effect, he became our 'leader' at that point because his actions essentially forced our reaction. Perhaps instead of having one specific 'leader' we could all simply agree to certain roles and priorities. That way, each of us would at least have some notion as to what the others are likely to do."
He thought for a moment. "For example, and I say this only as an example - Janathell would help in holding the front line and would decide when we advance and retreat. Eric and Olaf would assist her in holding the front line. Arachne and Rennirolas would devote their actions to healing the injured to the extent possible. Rennirolas could assist in combat as needed and Arachne would be responsible for removing anyone rendered helpless from harm's way. Echo could harry opposing spell casters, or leader-types with spells. Azrun could be in charge of blocking the enemy from retreating or being reinforced with web spells, and could otherwise provide support with his bow. Stargazer could address any magical auras that need removing and could contribute to combat generally."
He seemed to be getting over his early fidgeting. "Certain am I that there are far better assignments, but I mention those for sake of example. Such an approach would still allow everyone a measure of independence but would also coordinate our actions to some degree." He shook his head.
"Admittedly, I am at a loss," he said in a tired voice. "Maybe there is no way we can all continue together and expect to be successful."
"Works for me," Arachne said. "Stuff for each of us to do if we can't think of anything better to do. I don't think that we'll ever get away from moments in battles when some of us want to press on while others favor retreating. I mean, I don't think I _haven't_ wanted to retreat since perhaps the fifth or sixth troll-burning. I don't like seeing the rest of you getting hurt or even -- and feeling pretty ineffectual at anything that might prevent it. Of course, I don't shout anything because I'm usually trying to be invisible and overlooked -- but also because I don't trust my instincts in a fight. Anyway, I think that yes, we have to leave the details to one another and also treat the suggestions we might shout in battle as we would the ... mmm ... pleadings, maybe? -- of family members who care about us deeply."
"There are a few divinations and scryings I may attempt," Renn interjected as the discussions continued. "Though it wasn't until recently that Corellon saw fit to grant those particular prayers to me. I cannot pray for a scrying spell at the moment, however. Don't have the necessary items..." he said, his words trailed off as he finished.
"I too lack the need holy items to scry." Olaf said, "And I really regret it. We could use more knowledge of everything."
"Uh huh," Arachne agreed. "I love it -- knowledge, I mean. It's probably why I stayed so long at University. That and a really annoying sister at home. Anyway, is what you need easily found on the surface? Could I go find it in a temple ... or a shrine? Or could I just bring back a not-so-holy version and let you bless it?"
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