| The Return of: The Ultimate LUE Quote Topic!!! *offensive!!!* |
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| From: Hyena 20 | Posted: 5/31/2003 4:53:12 AM | Message Detail |
That's right, fellow LUEsers!
Please wait for first category: THE ASS PUBE NET.
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@ Denden mushimushi katatsumuri, omae no atama wa doko ni aru? Tsuno dase yari dase atama dase! "\@_ |
| From: Hyena 20 | Posted: 5/31/2003 4:54:28 AM | Message Detail |
WARNING: OFFENSIVE TOILET HUMOR AHEAD
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Ok, I'm sitting on the toilet pooping, thinking about hot girls, reading this months EGM, and smelling my own gas all at once but at the same time trying not to intertwine each of these things in my mind because one can really ruin the other. Anywho, I shot out an enormous crap log and at that moment I realized that I didn't wipe myself the last time i pooped. The old crap melded with my ass pubes and dried to form an ass-pube-net, if you will. So today when I shot out that big log of human goodness(poop) It got trapped and entangled in my ass-pube-net. It was pretty messy and it hasn't dried yet. I got a fork out of the kitchen and tried to break the net, but no dice. Any ideas?
I tried the shower thing and the hot water didn't melt my ass-pube-net. And BTW, I wiped the poop off the fork with a pair of my uncle's dirty underpants which were sitting on the kitchen table before putting it back.
I had my girlfriend come over to help me with my ass-pube net. She tried to remove it with a comb, a pair of her aunt's nail clippers, and an icecube, but it didn't get rid of my asspube net and only ended up getting her dirty and smelly, so she gave up and went home.
My ass-pube-net problem was resolved by the way. My uncle had to drive me to the hospital where a proctologist had to go in a slice a layer of my butt-flesh off, although now I have extreme bleeding hemmorhoids out the wazoo!!!! And becuase we haven't yet upgraded the toilets in our house to ones that flush (yes my parents are living in the 1980's still...) we got an ear full from the hospitals psychotherapist.
Heheh! There was one funny thing that happened out of this whole mess. When the doctor was inspecting my net I blasted(farted) gas in her face! The look in her eyes was fantastic, I thought she was going to cry!~~The Outrageous Toob
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@ Denden mushimushi katatsumuri, omae no atama wa doko ni aru? Tsuno dase yari dase atama dase! "\@_ |
| From: Hyena 20 | Posted: 5/31/2003 4:56:02 AM | Message Detail |
Part 2: HUMANITY SUXORS+LUE
If I try to destroy the desire, but too bad you can not destroy it. and by the way, why do YOU need to destroy it? It's not like 1000 nekkid girls are waiting outside your house you never leave ¬_¬~~CPS 3
Oh, and I hate everyone. This job does that to you. ;) ~~A mod
People are ridiculous. They're elitist even when it comes to masturbating.~~Super Blue KapuKapu
Only on LUE is Gamechick a guy and Useless guy a girl...~~Yzman
Yeah, I'm sexist. I'm convinced men are stupid and women are evil. ~Enygmatic
Well, folks, society has hit a new low, and I'm not talking about the sequel to Peter Pan either.~~ The Great Magus
LMFAO @ DarkCobra, you try way to ****ing hard. God this place is just a landfill of losers.~~ The Lethal Method regarding LU&E
I don't care. I lost faith in humanity as a kid. I thought humanity couldn't get any worse, then I found LUE.~~Soul Fire
Men are not better than women. Both genders suck equally.~~Bahamut
I tend to think once a person has posted on a msg board about losing household items in their rectum, they're beyond the help of regular people. ~~MorgaineDax
Ah, LUE. The only place where a topic could immediately go from an observation about uncovered naughty bits, to that of a discussion on Hitler's medical needs.~~I Love Gravy
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@ Denden mushimushi katatsumuri, omae no atama wa doko ni aru? Tsuno dase yari dase atama dase! "\@_ |
| From: Hyena 20 | Posted: 5/31/2003 5:01:27 AM | Message Detail |
Part 3: WANGS&WHACKING
WARNING: VERY OFFENSIVE!!!
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Used Beng@y as a lube. Hurt like hell~~Lonestar2000
Is it normal to have a year of impotence?~~Polished Car
I stuck thumb tacks into my wang. That was a bad idea.~~Risu no Kairu
I was jumping on the tromboline (Saddam's secret doomsday device) and well wasn't looking where I was jumping, hit my....self between the legs on the metal bar and fell head first in dog poo...~~Supasonic1234
If I had a really buff right arm and a skinny left one, I would not make fun of people who mast0rbate.~~Tenchisama
An XBox fell on mine.
Now I use it as a bookmark.~~MMXcalibur regarding his wang
I was watching porn on the internet, got a little to carried away, and got my wang stuck in my zip drive.~~friskybb
Angelina Jolie is freakin hot. I'd dive into hell and wang-smack Satan for a chance to tap that ass.~~MATRIX17
*Pins Silver Moiraine's testicles to his forehead with an industrial nail gun*~~Unsane2Clown
I find that peeing gets rid of it. A suggestion, to piss with morning wood, try standing back to the toilet shooting it over your head.~~Konraad
I'll be the resident lecherous Knight~~Paladin Z
Ok, well I dub thineself the official mast0rbation black knight in underwear armor ~~DJ1200
I confine my sexual advances to people, tacos, and horses.~~LaceratedCharm
...midget sex? That's more Jar Jar's thing...~~TheMadHatter102
It had better be the noises monkeys make during sex or hand-activities if you want to speak the language of the LU&E.~~Hyena20
JarJar, on the other hand, would be the type of genie who orgasms when you rub his lamp, especially if you're a hot, scantily clad virgin chick.~~ Hyena20
Because if I woke up tomorrow as a girl, I'd probably just lay around in bed and play with my boobs all day.~~ Shade7x
I, in an act led by extreme levels of boredom, just had cyber sex with myself using Trillian and two different AIM usernames.~~Linke
I'm a pirate?
Do I get to rape my crewmen?~~Super Blue KapuKapu
My testicles are of average size. At least, that's what my dentist says.~~Hustle Kong
I once thought of George Bush and Geraldo getting it on and well...it made it bigger.~~Trev913 on how to get rid of a boner
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@ Denden mushimushi katatsumuri, omae no atama wa doko ni aru? Tsuno dase yari dase atama dase! "\@_ |
| From: Hyena 20 | Posted: 5/31/2003 5:11:52 AM | Message Detail |
WARNING: OFFENSIVE!!
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PART 4: THEGREATMAGUS
Well, folks, society has hit a new low, and I'm not talking about the sequel to Peter Pan either~~The Great Magus
Abbot and Costello meet the Terminator 2~~The Great Magus on suggestions on highschool plays.
Everybody knows you get smoother satisfaction from doing gazelles.~~The Great Magus
We've secretly switched Jar Jar Binks' testicles with Folger's Crystals. Let's see if he notices the difference.~~The Great Magus
A lobotomy > having your nipples sandblasted > Jason 10 : Jason in Space~~The Great Magus
My ass is a priceless treasure. Pirates are always burying it.~~The Great Magus
*Does the asshat dance*~~TheGreatMagus
I yelled "omg wang!" at my cat.
I'm disappointed to say nothing really happened.~~ZoraGuy
I bet it looked at you blankly, and then looked at something else. And then coughed up some blood and spontaneously combusted.~~The Great Magus
PART 5: JARJARBINKS
The pineapples were so friggin' fresh they make your balls almost explode.~~JarJarBinks
WTF do you think it is? Do you shoot turpentine out of your ass?~~JarJarBinks regarding Tubgal
Eventually I am able to breathe again. I had a vague idea of what caused such a feeling, so I begin to do it again. And again. And again. And again and again and again.~~JarJarBinks on his discovery of mast0rbation.
That's not to say pedophile kidnappers are bad people. Michael Jackson has donated millions to charities.~~JarJarBinks
I am terribly attracted to secretary porn.~~JarJarBinks.
Snipers are silent, but deadly. Like ninjas. Or some farts.~~JarJarBinks
When in Rome you act like the Romans, not a ****ing moron.~~JarJarBinks
I don't want lyme disease of the testicles. God knows they've suffered enough already~~JarJarbinks
Oh, I'll win. I'll win even if I have to castrate myself with a rusty spoon.~~Jar Jar Binks
If I were to ever have foreplay, it would last at least an hour, because when it comes down to the actual sex, I'd suck worse than Forrest Gump.~~Jar Jar Binks
PART 6: THEOUTRAGEOUST00B
No, my gf had to break up with me thanks to my stupid uncle. My ass of an uncle was like "your not allowed going out with my daughter any more!" and I was like "FINE THEN!" and then slammed the door in my face. My sister is looking ok now so I might ask her out soon, pending that my dad says it's okay for us to go steady.~~The Outrageous Toob
Can you flex your nipples? I can flex them to the theme of "Tailspin".~~The Outrageous Toob
I am still a vigin so I haven't had any period yet : (~~ The Outrageous Toob
My poop is clogging up my nutsack and my nut strings so I end up sperming poop.~~The Outrageous Toob
It's all itchy and nubby like my ***** has 5 oclock shadow or somethin' and it's pullin' on my briefs and it's annoying... Never shall I experiment like this again...~~The Outrageous T00b after shaving his pubes
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@ Denden mushimushi katatsumuri, omae no atama wa doko ni aru? Tsuno dase yari dase atama dase! "\@_ |
| From: Hyena 20 | Posted: 5/31/2003 5:17:00 AM | Message Detail |
PART 7: MISC. INSANITY PT. 1
DC, your debating was on the level of a derranged squirrel.~~Four Winds
BTW, Never try to Sniff Glitter. It hurts.....~~One that Was
I hope you get raped by an angry, rabid giraffe.~~Gorthaur the Cruel
I'm not into Legolas; I was more into Sam, more junk in the trunck make Mr. PeePee want to do the funk.~~Lord Sampson
There is more sin in a cubic inch of LUE than there is in all of hell.~~Gorthaur the Cruel
...then Run, don't walk, RUN to the fridge, and pour yourself a tall, frosty glass of shut the **** up. ~~Coolhand
MEGAVOLT! MMM-MM, he's got some WEASEL FINE ASS!!! And big feet, you know what that means!!!~~Hyena20 during a convo in LU&E about the sexiest Disney character.
It doesn't break the ToS because SHUT YOUR FACE BEFORE I CUT IT WITH A WHEEL CHAIR.~~Orange
SHUT YOUR FACE VIRRO BEFORE I RUN OVER IT WITH A LAWN MOWER.~~Orange
I would rather swallow several large, live rats and let them eat me slowly from the inside out than EVER use AOL.~~ Q Ball
Die topic, DIE!!!!! Die die die!!!! Dead dead kill stab maim hurt bleed die!!!!!!!!111!1ONE!!!!~!~~Coolhand
I know neither Coolhand nor DarkCobra, but I think you two need to work out your differences with mutual hate towards Richard Simmons.~~Edge Zero
I'm a Frisbeetarian. We worship the Great Golden Whammo Frisbee and believe that when you die your soul gets stuck on the roof and you can't get it down.~~Ghost Sgt.
What was the name of that show with the bald aliens that had brown spots all over their head?~~Diehard Shogun
Was it "Invasion of the Gorbachevs?"~~Shadow Sniper
It would be tough picking up one, let alone throwing it, but dropping it on someone's foot would surely give them a concussion.~~USSJ Goten (regarding the XBox, but that's not what makes the sig funny)
Get all tensed up, push the poo out, and while pushing say "Ka-me-ha-me-ha!"~~Daizenshuu
..............I belive in the underwear faries~~Dragon Gurl
Pah. I'm Asian, I look uglier than an orc with 6 CHA, and people know it.~~MaullarMaullar regarding a question on why all Asians are hot
Brut smells like sour frog ass.~~Axion9
That movie sucks; I give it a two thumbs up the ***.~~Kanivakil
Oh yes. Hostess Fruit pies. With such flavors as sawdust and ass, how can you not like these flakey piles of ****? ~~Smash Daisaku
If you got kicked in the face by a catatonic midget, I would laugh.~~DJ Kornphlake
If you smoke pot (near me) you support me getting super pissed and stabbing you with a spork.~~Shade7x
what the hell? those racist bastards! those people deserve to be attacked by an army of spork weilding monkeys. seriously~~Link333
Give me a break! I'm only 15 and I throw poop at little kids.~~Spike Spiegel
Oh, no! I think I'm a weretoaster!! Help!
:(:(:( Every full moon, I black out... and when I wake up, there is a lot of burnt toast around.
What should I do? (other than suicide, and sexx0rzing teh toasts' faces)~~Risu no Kairu
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@ Denden mushimushi katatsumuri, omae no atama wa doko ni aru? Tsuno dase yari dase atama dase! "\@_ |
| From: The Great Magus | Posted: 5/31/2003 5:19:25 AM | Message Detail |
Sometimes when I look back on some of the **** I've said, I get really embarassed, because damn... I'm a ****tard.
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I thought you swore off the political necrophilia after that incident at Strom Thurmand's house. ~ Evil Mario
: ' " |
| From: Hyena 20 | Posted: 5/31/2003 5:19:58 AM | Message Detail |
PART 8: THE UNHOLY TRINITY
WARNING: EXTREMELY OFFENSIVE!!!
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Planes will just be flying over Iraq and they will open wide (just like Goatse, but in a different area) and let their bombs fly.~~Voices
What does goatse mean? I looked up in the dictionary and it isn't there~~HUZZAH
It got me kinda horny; cuz I read it at 12pm and had drank lots of Vanilla Coke and had just seen a pic of Harlequin Fetus~~Infinite Vox on the dolphinsex site
WTF do you think it is? Do you shoot turpentine out of your ass?~~JarJarBinks regarding Tubgirl
My reaction when seeing Harlequin Fetus: OH GOOD ****ING *** SAVE ME WHAT THE **** IS THAT?? AAAAAAH!! *cries*
My reaction when seeing Goatse: >_< >_< >_< >_<
My reaction when seeing Tubgirl: *hurl*~~THE Metal Gear
If he spit in my face, he would be stabbed, and his neck would be stretched out like Goatse.~~cortexbomb
Let's put it this way. I'd rather have the Trinity in my room crapping on the floor, spreading ass cheeks, and just being freaky in general, than use AOL.~~LightElf
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@ Denden mushimushi katatsumuri, omae no atama wa doko ni aru? Tsuno dase yari dase atama dase! "\@_ |
| From: Hyena 20 | Posted: 5/31/2003 5:30:22 AM | Message Detail |
MISC INSANITY PT 2
WARNING: ALSO OFFENSIVE. DO NOT READ WHILE EATING, DRINKING, OR HAVING TO PEE/CRAP REALLY BAD
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LOL! A moth just flew in my pants...
Okay so there I was talking to Umaro about black and white when all of a sudden I feel something fluttering real fast against my leg, I stand up then it goes into my crotch area, then I started struggling to get it out while it was tickling my wang with its moth-y goodness, I took my pants off now.~~YenYen
When I was like 9, me and my friends were playing hide and go seek in Toys R Us. I ran into the bathroom and into a stall. After about 45 seconds another guy came in. I then hear...
*RIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP*
Oh....yea...
*grrrrrrrrruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuup*
...daddy likes...
*merrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrryip*
...I'm lovin' it....
This went on for about another 6 minutes before I ran out of the place in fear of my life.~~Unsane2Clown
OK weird situation here. I've got my lower lip trapped between the blade of a Coleman knife (like a Swiss Army knife but bigger) and the body of the knife. I'm beginning to taste blood. it's not coming off oh ****
ARGH and to make things worse i missed the Simpsons!!! *** DAMN IT and this stupid knife thing is a *****~~Seth Huber
Yet you were able to use both hands to type out your message? Sounds like bullplop.~~MachTen
that happens to me all the time, the best solution for you is to set your genitals ablaze, trust me, it helps~~The Afrochicken
Damn it, MachTen caught me in my lies. Oh well. I DID have the fish-scaler part (it's like a saw but less sharp) stuck on my lip, and that hurt to get out, but I'm OK now.~~Seth Huber
If you have your lower lip stuck in a folding knife, cut it off. It's the quickest and easiest thing to do. Then take the knife and plunge it into your scrotum. That should relieve the pain from your lip.~~Warlord Zeke
I just buttered up the insides of a trout and used it to whack it.
It was actually very pleasant. I bought the full intact frozen fish from the supermarket, warmed it up, rubbed the insides with hot butter, and then used its mouth to pleasure myself. It was ****ing AWESOME!! I highly recommend this technique. The only problem is to make sure you don't get poked with any stray bones.
I reached a climax and everything, it was great~~Polished Car
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O M G
I am in Hell, the Universe and Everything Else >_<~~Goblin King
how is it messed up? I received deep pleasure and sexual relief from a thawed fish.~~Polished Car
When I was four years old, I stuck a wire into an electical outlet, bad idea. I suffered burns all over my body and my hands were bleeding. Then I was tooken to the hospital and bandaged all over my body and couldn't move much for a week. To this day I wonder how the hell I survived that. The weird thing is, ever since that happened to me, I can barely feel pain throughout my body. I can get punched in the face and hardly feel it.~~Slash1235
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@ Denden mushimushi katatsumuri, omae no atama wa doko ni aru? Tsuno dase yari dase atama dase! "\@_ |
| From: Hyena 20 | Posted: 5/31/2003 5:30:59 AM | Message Detail |
CONTINUED
AND STILL OFFENSIVE
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Earlier today, I had stolen my sister's CD player. She just found out and she told me to give it back. She had asked at the wrong time, because I had been watching t3h pr0n and had a boner. I went to her room and gave it back to her. I said "I didn't want that piece of **** anyway." She slammed the door on my wang and now I'm sitting here with an ice pack on it looking like an idiot. Any suggestions on getting back at her?~~EvilPolice
And why were you walking naked into your sisters room with a b0nar?~~S0nicfan
I had underwear on, but it was sticking out.~~EvilPolice
Aggg!!!!
I was messing around alone at home, and placed the nearby stapler around my wang..... Then i accidentally kicked the desk and i clenched my hand (the one holding the stapler) as a reaction....
>_<!!!!
Can this become infected? Do girls like cheap jewelry? Should I be happy it didn't touch the head?
O_O!!!
HOW AM I GONNA TOUCH MYSELF AT NIGHT?!?!
Yea.... I'm not circumcized so there's skin that kinda sticks out a little above the head....
Is it bad that I gotta take a leak right now?~~I am Squeak
Try to go and see what happens~~SDF 1
Ok... I'll try and leak.... hold on...
BTW, I was getting ready to pleasure myself.... but a bonar will be really bad right about now....
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Whoever told me to try to take a leak, I demand you clean up the mess.... It sprayed out of the 2 different (and very small) openings that are above and below the staple... I panicked and stradled the toilet so it would go in.....
And it don't hurt that much.... it stings, but its not agonizing.....
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Ok, I suddenly got naked images in my head and I can feel the bonar coming along.... What the hell do i use to take this thing out?!?!~~I am Squeak
Use a staple remover if j00r telling teh truth~~LZPanzer
I don't have a staple remover.... and I'm not putting something with 2 very sharp points that close to my wang....~~I am Squeak
Well you did it once already!
Either take it out or have someone do it for you.~~Static Hunter
Ok, I suppressed the bonar... no worries for now.... (thank you Rotten)....
pull it out?!
>_<
That's like circumcizing myself!!!~~IAmSqueak
I'm just at a loss to explain WHAT you were doing with the stapler around your wang, i mean, living on the edge is one thing...~~Tonberry378
Sheer curiosity....
You know when you're near some huge dangerous machine, you gotta touch it or something.... well.... I was home alone, and bored....~~I am Squeak
So you touched a sharp object with your wang!?~~Bustacap
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@ Denden mushimushi katatsumuri, omae no atama wa doko ni aru? Tsuno dase yari dase atama dase! "\@_ |
| From: ghost sgt | Posted: 5/31/2003 5:49:10 AM | Message Detail |
Hyena, first, I must point out that you have waaaaaaay too much time on your hands.
Second, ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!! So many memories, so many nightmares. Some of those retorts were even more hilarious when viewed in the threads in which they originally appeared. Major pwnage.
Third, keep it up. I love you. w00t!
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Don't try to fix me. I'm not broken.
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| From: d3sTiNy | Posted: 5/31/2003 5:49:51 AM | Message Detail |
Hmmm...Time to update my LUE quotes file.
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LUE officially has the most concentrated population of people with gigantic wangs in all the message boards of the internet - JokaTheJesta |
| From: pbc55 | Posted: 5/31/2003 5:56:47 AM | Message Detail |
Those are all pure BAH-RILLIANCE.
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You are so Dreamy. With a capital D.-Tass
Trundle wheels are so cool.-mutatedseabass |
| From: Hyena 20 | Posted: 5/31/2003 6:38:39 AM | Message Detail |
CONTINUED AGAIN
STILL OFFENSIVE!!!
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While standing there taking a piss at a urinal, I almost jumped out of my pants when I heard a scream from one of the stalls and some kid yells "the porcelain banshees are tickling my ass pubes!!" and starts kicking the door and splashing around. I finished up real fast and nearly zipped my genitals off. Then I ran. Weirdest day ever...~~MeatSim
I have made a committed effort to leaving DC alone. I don't know where you got that from. Since his return from exile in his room, I've left him completely to his own devices.~~Coolhand
The battery-operated devices?~~Polemos
Ziiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing!~~Coolhand
OMG, I think I'm gonna get banned!
I posted a REALLY gross, and disgusting word in that topic about gross words. It's one of those words that makes you have simultaneous diarrhea and vomiting ~~Chaos201
You posted the word 'politics'?~~Scudobuio
Diarrhea?
VOMTING?
LUE had an orgy and didn't invite me?
Damn you...damn you all....~~Forgot to record who said this
Never smoke pot with your ass, a guy I know learned that the hard way. He tried to inhale with his ass and the doobie went up into his colon and he couldnt get it out. It was funny looking to see him flail his arms and tear at his smoking butthole~~Hyperknuckles
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@ Denden mushimushi katatsumuri, omae no atama wa doko ni aru? Tsuno dase yari dase atama dase! "\@_ |
| From: Ender Wiggin | Posted: 5/31/2003 7:21:11 AM | Message Detail |
Holy **** man. You archive everything?
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What is AOL and what do you smoke it with?-FantomX
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| From: Hyena 20 | Posted: 5/31/2003 7:26:31 AM | Message Detail |
No, not everything. This sig list is almost 2 year's worth.
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@ Denden mushimushi katatsumuri, omae no atama wa doko ni aru? Tsuno dase yari dase atama dase! "\@_ |
| From: Ender Wiggin | Posted: 5/31/2003 7:27:09 AM | Message Detail |
How do you get all this stuff then?
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What is AOL and what do you smoke it with?-FantomX
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| From: Infinite Vox | Posted: 5/31/2003 7:33:48 AM | Message Detail |
It got me kinda horny; cuz I read it at 12pm and had drank lots of Vanilla Coke and had just seen a pic of Harlequin Fetus~~Infinite Vox on the dolphinsex site
>.<
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Mundus vult decipi, ergo decipiatur.
PDS ZERO |
| From: Hyena 20 | Posted: 5/31/2003 8:33:56 AM | Message Detail |
From: Ender Wiggin | Posted: 5/31/2003 7:27:09 AM | Message Detail
How do you get all this stuff then?
When I see something good said on LUE, I record it. Most recent ones tonight:
Ive started shoving black cds up my butt again
;_;
and I thought I had broke the addiction~~Scurty
Racism!!!~~Hyena20
no it feels better then other cds~~Scurty
Burn Linkin Park songs onto them first, then you can return them to their natural environment.~~Mike Otak
Once you go Playstation, you'll never uh... shove any other kind of CD up yer ass.~~TheGreatMagus
I once farted on the set of blue lagoon~~Wookin Pa Nub
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@ Denden mushimushi katatsumuri, omae no atama wa doko ni aru? Tsuno dase yari dase atama dase! "\@_ |
| From: Chaos201 | Posted: 5/31/2003 8:47:39 AM | Message Detail |
I remember seeing most of those for the first time... ah, The Outrageous Toob. I miss that guy, what ever happened to him?
For the record, the word I was talking about is... Anna Nicole Smith
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Monday March 10th 1997 - Tuesday May 20th, 2003 - R.I.P. BtVS |
| From: Hyena 20 | Posted: 5/31/2003 8:50:31 AM | Message Detail |
PART 9: DRUNKEN RAMBLINGS
canaan
so hmmerd cant tpe hew els drnk
canaan
smrnov smrnov smrnocv smvro smrtnov smrov
smirrknovx7=deruknencnanaa
canaan
rel drunk
ShadowStalker
Canaan?
Bible-thumping Canaan?
You're real?
Aeon Blue
Hahaha, hey Canaan, Jesus said he hates you.
canaan
sereeuslee going to tK to sum hos get moosho
Mister T
Moosho? You want something to eat?
Bemani Dragon
what did j00 get drunk on?
canaan
mikels so stupid abnd rpredic6twqb4rel4r aner hyed goiiunsnsw to ge t hurt
canaan
smierrknovn getted mre drnk
Polemos
I thought it was obvious what he got drunk off of. Smirnov.
HYERNA 20!!@!!!!Baby come back to me!
I loved you~ I came here to speak to you,a nd you ditch me! You sidsh! douitch me!!!!!!!! You ditchjme!!!!!!
Whyy why do you break my heart like this?!!?!?!
BABTY COME ?BACK!!!!!!
Why god why!?!?!?! Why aren't upi jere ,a baby!!!!!
I'll keep down ing budwisers until she comes back!@ ~~Jackmama on Newyear's Eve
Burt IO lov Hyerna!!!~~Jackmama to a mod when he contested a moderation on New Year's Eve
Want to shallenge nme beforE I pass out.?
Bastars, Not you BK.
TYour rukles my Voodka, babby~~gytis
ok now I;, m ssssssuppeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrr druubnk!!!!! Adm IO shjoulss d sppmhttin! But I kdont kno w what~~Jack Mama
J0oiist ticalletters man the joyistical letters....The higher up pphasanation is an ovation once you're there ~~Jackmama
I bettt errrrrhan thanana nany of fmyuour than/ Ipcan oppsot tyou nefpre you xidd in teh time frame I pos tin!!!!~~Jackmama to Dark Cobra regarding Counterstrike and Cable modem.
Translation:
I'm better than than any of my your than I can post you before you did in the time frame I post in!!!!~~Jackmama
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@ Denden mushimushi katatsumuri, omae no atama wa doko ni aru? Tsuno dase yari dase atama dase! "\@_ |
| From: Hyena 20 | Posted: 5/31/2003 8:53:17 AM | Message Detail |
MORE
There I am, beating the meat....
I beat the meat stick, and the goo comes out. I get up, AND THERE IS THIS ****ING TURD ON THE FLOOR!!!!!! I DROPPED A DAMN LOG WHILE MAST0RBATING!!!! Now the stain won't come out.
lesson: WIPE FIRST!~~Chicken Inspector
A friend, well, he is now an asshat,
dared me to do it, which makes me an asshat as well.
Words canot describe the hell that is in my pants right now.
OH NO NOT a burning hot sensation
but an ARTIC TUNDRA
MY BALLS FEEL LIKE they have damn frost bite!!!
IV'E TRIED WASHING IT OFF!!
* which resulted in a more enhanced cold fusion in my pants*
I'm almost in tears here!!!
My friend is crying with a big grin on his face!!!
damn him!!
I CAN ALMOST HEAR GOD LAUGHING.........
plz if you know a way to make this stop i beg of you plz tell me!!!!~~MATRIX17
Which scenes in a videogame has made you cry?~~KnucklesandTails
I cried during that once scene in pong where the little dot is going across the screen. Saddest. thang. evar.~~TuxedoCyan
"The official spoilers topic"
*spoilers*
In Pong, the right paddle is actually the cosmic overlord in disguise, who is plotting to take over the galaxy.
"The official list of non-straight videogame characters"
"The left paddle in Pong, definately"
"Dumbest video game character ever?"
The ball in PONG.~~Beat Grind Radio
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@ Denden mushimushi katatsumuri, omae no atama wa doko ni aru? Tsuno dase yari dase atama dase! "\@_ |
| From: secretagent bob | Posted: 5/31/2003 8:53:55 AM | Message Detail |
Im not on that list! I am the zaniest foo to ever hit the pit with a pizza stick.
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Favorite bands: AFI, Dead Kennedys, Millencolin, Operation Ivy
http://s3.cgi.gamefaqs.com/boards/gentopic.asp?board=4810- Official AFI message board! |
| From: Jumper | Posted: 5/31/2003 8:55:19 AM | Message Detail |
I have a drunken Ramble
"Occifer, don't drunk, I'm shoot"
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"Shakin' like a dog ****in' razor blades." Alkaline Trio
If you are an Alkaline Trio fan, Tell Me. Alkaline Trio Fans: 32 |
| From: Red Wiz | Posted: 5/31/2003 9:21:20 AM | Message Detail |
this is just screaming for a tag. *tag*
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One of the greatest sites of our time: www.geocities.com/lordelrond3/worms
Official FFXI Beta Tester |
| From: Tytaboy | Posted: 5/31/2003 9:58:40 AM | Message Detail |
Tag
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It's the danger element. When there's risk involved, your wee wee swells with excitement!- Polished Car |
| From: Synchronomyst | Posted: 5/31/2003 10:06:47 AM | Message Detail |
I am in tears now.
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"Yeah that's right...They kill one man,or they kill ten,it's all the same...after all,they can only hang you once!"-Mighty Healthy,Ghostface Killah |
| From: BlackFire | Posted: 5/31/2003 10:18:39 AM | Message Detail |
Ah, the memorable moments of a message board.
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Any time you misspell a domain name on the Internet, you're going to either get
1) advertising with pop-up windows, 2) porn, or more likely, 3) both. - CJayC |
| From: seer358 | Posted: 5/31/2003 10:19:16 AM | Message Detail |
tag
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NZRT/WARNING! This post may contain extreme stupidity and/or bad grammar! |
| From: Chucat | Posted: 5/31/2003 10:31:07 AM | Message Detail |
This is hilarious, shame you didn't have the entire HavocRPG "I think there's someone else in my house!" topic
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Only if Jesus was like Dante from DMC. OMG I would SO be a believer if they made a game like that. -Pizza in a Cup |
| From: Hyena 20 | Posted: 5/31/2003 11:00:41 PM | Message Detail |
Oh, here's the famous Chrono Clone one.
WARNING: OFFENSIVE
...
...
<Chronoclone> AGH!
<Chronoclone> MY WANG!
<Chronoclone> IT BURNS!
<Chronoclone> WHY DOES IT BURN!
<bluepermanentmarker> ...
<Chronoclone> I'm serious!
<Chronoclone> I thought it was bad when it fell asleep, but..oh god!
<bluepermanentmarker> ...
<Intangible> ***** + Zipper = Bad.
<Chronoclone> That's not what happened!
<Chronoclone> IT'S BURNING FOR NO REASON AT ALL!
<Chronoclone> Wait! It must need air!
* Chronoclone tears off his underpants.
<Intangible> Did you cut hot peppers or handle anything spicy?
<Chronoclone> ...Why?
<Intangible> Doing that and pissing...
<Chronoclone> ...
<Chronoclone> Oh god.
<Intangible> Will get hot pepper juice on your wang.
<Intangible> Fire.
<Chronoclone> ...
<Chronoclone> But I wasn't touching myself.
<bluepermanentmarker> HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, I'm trying not to laugh, but it's so funny!
[01:09] <Intangible> You did it to yourself...
[01:10] <Intangible> Now that you know why it burns... It kind of feels good, doesn't it?
[01:10] <Chronoclone> No I didn't!
[01:10] <Chronoclone> I haven't touched...there in a while! It just started burning out of the blue!
[01:10] <Intangible> Did you handle hot peppers?
[01:10] <Chronoclone> Yes!
[01:11] <Chronoclone> Ugh!
[01:11] <Intangible> Did you take a piss?
[01:11] <Chronoclone> THE INSIDE IS THROBBING!
[01:11] <bluepermanentmarker> Put it in some ice?
[01:11] <Chronoclone> WHAT IS WRONG WITH MY WANG?!
[01:11] <bluepermanentmarker> PUT IT IN SOME ICE!
[01:11] <Intangible> It's being chemically burned by hot pepper juice.
[01:11] <Intangible> Try milk.
[01:12] * Intangible is laughing at your predicament...
[01:12] <Chronoclone> ...
[01:12] <Chronoclone> Because I ate hot peppers?
[01:12] <bluepermanentmarker> So am I.
[01:12] <Chronoclone> Because I haven't touched my wang in...a while.
[01:12] <bluepermanentmarker> It's so funny my sides are hurting.
[01:12] *** BIG_Slasher has joined #gfaqs
[01:12] <Intangible> No, you took a piss with the juice on your hands.
[01:12] <Intangible> Or maybe you scratched...
[01:12] <Chronoclone> But that was a while ago!
* Looking up BIG_Slasher user info...
[01:13] <Chronoclone> WHY DOES IT HURT NOW?!
[01:13] <Intangible> ****ty for you.
[01:13] <Intangible> The chemical has burnt through the surface layers of your skin.
[01:13] <bluepermanentmarker> HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
[01:14] <BIG_Slasher> Cool..
[01:14] *** BIG_Slasher has quit IRC (Quit: (o_o)
[01:14] <bluepermanentmarker> Okay, I think I'm finished laughing.
[01:14] <Chronoclone> OH GOD NO!
[01:14] <Chronoclone> NOT MY FORESKIN!
[01:14] <bluepermanentmarker> AHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
[01:14] <Chronoclone> It's unwanted acidic circumsision, isn't it?!
[01:14] <Intangible> They measure the hotness of hot peppers by scoval units.
[01:15] <Intangible> look up scoval units on google.
[01:15] <Chronoclone> ...
[01:15] <bluepermanentmarker> Do you know what kind of peppers they were?
[01:15] <Chronoclone> I will. Later. When the burning stops.
[01:15] <Chronoclone> Jalapano. I think.
[01:15] <Chronoclone> I HAVE NO IDEA.
[01:15] <Chronoclone> IT JUST BURNS.
[01:18] <bluepermanentmarker> I got an idea from that link. I'll be back, I'm gonna go put a sign on the front of my house that says "Central Dogma"
[01:18] <bluepermanentmarker> Done.
[01:19] <Chronoclone> ...
[01:19] <bluepermanentmarker> Now to put a sign on the front of my door that says "Terminal Dogma"
[01:19] <Chronoclone> My room is Terminal Dogma. Now I just need a security system to protect 'Adam'.
[01:19] <bluepermanentmarker> Done!
|
| From: Hyena 20 | Posted: 5/31/2003 11:01:56 PM | Message Detail |
[01:20] <Intangible> Scoville Units were invented in 1912 by a pharmacist named Wilbur Scoville. These units measure the amount of capsaicin (the chemical that provides the heat) in a pepper.
[01:20] <Intangible> Measuring by Scoville Units is very subjective.
To achieve a rating, it takes three out of five people to taste the heat in a diluted solution of alcohol and sugar water. The ratio of dilution is the Scoville Unit. For example, the Chiltepin is usually detected by 60 percent
of the testers when diluted at a ratio of 1 part to 50,000 parts solution (1:50,000 and up to 1:100,000).
[01:21] <Chronoclone> I like this one-...You go to driver training, and when the instructor asks the class to explain why it's unsafe to pick up hitchhikers, you scream, "You can't allow unauthorized personnel into the entry plug!"
[01:22] <bluepermanentmarker> I'm gonna remember that one as well.
[01:22] <Intangible> That was then, this is now...
[01:22] <Intangible> Today high-pressure liquid chromatography, a sophisticated analytical method which uses a Liquid Chromatograph, is used to measure capsaicin content in peppers. This method is much more accurate and precise. It measures the capsaicin levels in parts per million (mg/L).
This is then converted to Scoville Units.
[01:22] <bluepermanentmarker> Is it still burning?
[01:23] <Intangible> Should be.
[01:23] <Chronoclone> Not anymore.
[01:23] <BL-Brb> That must hurt
[01:24] *** BL-Brb is now known as BishiLance
[01:24] <bluepermanentmarker> Damn.
[01:24] <bluepermanentmarker> I mean, uh, good!
[01:24] <Intangible> It had to end at some point...
[01:24] <bluepermanentmarker> ...
[01:24] <Intangible> Lance: Chrono got jalapeno juice on his *****.
[01:24] <bluepermanentmarker> I was hoping it'd last forever.
[01:24] <Intangible> It burned him.
[01:24] <Chronoclone> Agh!
[01:24] <BishiLance> Ouch
[01:24] <Chronoclone> It's burning again!
[01:25] <bluepermanentmarker> YAY!
[01:25] * BishiLance hands Chronoclone some ice
[01:25] <Intangible> Sometimes I think there may actually be a god.
[01:25] <BishiLance> It happens
[01:25] <Intangible> Milk makes the capsaisin less potent.
[01:26] <BishiLance> It usually fades away when logic and common reasons kicks in
[01:26] <Intangible> Put your **** in milk and it'll go away...
[01:26] <Chronoclone> I AM NOT PUTTING MILK ON MY *****.
[01:26] <Intangible> Put your ***** in milk./
[01:26] <BishiLance> It alredy has Jalapeño juice...
[01:26] *** eightball has joined #gfaqs
[01:26] * Intangible is laughing again.
[01:26] <bluepermanentmarker> C'mon, you know you want to.
[01:26] <eightball> howdy howdy
[01:26] <Intangible> Lance: Chrono got jalapeno juice on his *****.
[01:26] <BishiLance> hehehe
[01:26] <eightball> ouch
[01:27] <Intangible> Milk makes the capsaisin less potent.
[01:27] <Intangible> Put your ***** in milk, Chrono.
[01:27] <Chronoclone> I AM NOT PUTTING MILK ON MY *****.
[01:27] <eightball> why not?
[01:27] <bluepermanentmarker> YOU WANT TO DO IT!
[01:27] <Intangible> dip it in.
[01:27] <Chronoclone> NO I DO NOT!
[01:28] <bluepermanentmarker> It's not that big of a deal.
[01:28] <eightball> how did you get jalapeno juice on your ****, dude?
[01:28] <Intangible> But I'd never be dumb enough to touch my wang after handling peppers.
[01:28] <Chronoclone> IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!
[01:28] <eightball> ouch.
[01:28] <BishiLance> rofl
[01:28] <bluepermanentmarker> I'm sure it was.
[01:28] *** redi_Zet has joined #gfaqs
[01:29] <Chronoclone> I DON'T WANT MY WANG IN CONTACT WITH ACID ON PURPOSE!
[01:29] *** redi_Zet has left #gfaqs |
| From: Hyena 20 | Posted: 5/31/2003 11:07:09 PM | Message Detail |
[01:29] <eightball> well, you'll learn to wash your hands from now on
[01:29] <bluepermanentmarker> HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
[01:29] <Intangible> Chrono shall be forever known as FIRECROTCH!
[01:29] <eightball> lol
[01:29] <BishiLance> That is just painful
[01:30] <Chronoclone> This is going to get posted on LUE, isn't it?
[01:30] * eightball posts
[01:30] <eightball> nah j/k
[01:30] * Intangible is
[01:30] <Intangible> I'm just waiting unitl I'm done teasing you first.
[01:31] <Chronoclone> Well I'm not immersing my genitals in dairy products.
[01:31] <eightball> it'll help
[01:31] <bluepermanentmarker> Then quit whining about it hurting!
[01:32] <Chronoclone> IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!
[01:32] <bluepermanentmarker> Either put it in milk, OR SHUT THE HELL UP!
[01:32] <eightball> I guess. I have never gotten pepper juice on my **** before so I really don't know
[01:32] <Chronoclone> I AM NOT PUTTING MY WANG IN COW JUICE!
[01:32] <bluepermanentmarker> SHUT THE HELL UP OR PUT IN MILK!
[01:32] <bluepermanentmarker> THEN SHUT THE HELL UP!
I didn't mean to let the juice invade my wang!~~Chronoclone
Ha ha ha... I did that on purpose once, because I'm very stupid...~~WilliamPorygon
Milk would help... Chrono refuses though... I think he should pour himself an nice, tall glass of milk...~~Seraphym
Bread. Carbohydrates. Fluids.~~User Name Error
On my WANG?! I refuse to put foreign objects on my wang! I flat out refuse!~~ChronoClone
I don't think you can dip your wang in bread or carbohydrates...~~Mystic998
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@ Denden mushimushi katatsumuri, omae no atama wa doko ni aru? Tsuno dase yari dase atama dase! "\@_ |
| From: Coolhand | Posted: 5/31/2003 11:12:01 PM | Message Detail |
I have made a committed effort to leaving DC alone. I don't know where you got that from. Since his return from exile in his room, I've left him completely to his own devices.~~Coolhand
The battery-operated devices?~~Polemos
Ziiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing!~~Coolhand
XD XD XD
I remember that. Polemos had one of the world's most dangerous senses of humor. It'd lay in wait until provoked, then explode on you in a fit of humor so dry a camel'd choke on it. Classic.
...And the last time you did this, I was in there like 6 times. I must be losing my touch. Still, gold.
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Coolhand: Capire et Relinquere
GameFAQs' Resident Fly-Fishing Bum |
| From: Nagna zul | Posted: 5/31/2003 11:23:52 PM | Message Detail |
TAG. NOW.
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child- daddy, why is the sky blue?
LUEser- why, son, it's because you touch yourself at night. Blackbelt Bobman. |
| From: Seifer 87 | Posted: 5/31/2003 11:26:25 PM | Message Detail |
Tag><Orz
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"Once you eliminate the all possibilities, whatever's left, however improbable, must be the truth" Sherlock Holmes |
| From: marinersfan101 | Posted: 5/31/2003 11:33:42 PM | Message Detail |
saved
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Krusty: Lets just say it moved me. INTO A BIGGER HOUSE!! Uh oh, I said the loud part quiet and the quiet part loud. |
