TEKKEN COMMITTEE: THE FINAL MEMBER
by the enigma that is Saiyan Rage a.k.a. Lord Kazuya
 

It was all started by a final decision:

"It’s time to find the final member."

Lee stared at Kazuya. "It’s about damn time."

Kazuya stared back. "Hey, you think finding the final member is easy?!"

Lee shrugged his shoulders. "I wouldn’t know."

Kazuya shook his head. "Stupid-ass mother @#$^er."

Lee immediately looked at his brother in surprise. "What did you just say?!"

Kazuya rolled his eyes. "I said ‘stupid-ass mother @#$^er’—wait a minute!"

"What the hell is THAT?!" exclaimed Lee.

Kazuya shook his head nervously. "I-I don’t know. Maybe it’s a typo. Yeah, that’s it. Go call the committee."

"Kazuya, what do you mean ‘typo’?"

Kazuya glared at Lee with blood-red eyes. Lee immediately set out to make the phone calls.

---

NARRATOR: The committee was called at once so that they may discuss the possible eighteenth member of the Committee.

Kazuya nodded. "You’re getting better at not yelling."

NARRATOR: You really think so?

Kazuya nodded again. "Yes." He faced the committee. "Alright, today’s objective is to add the last member to the Committee."

"Wait a minute, you mean there was originally going to be eighteen?" asked Lei.

Kazuya nodded. "Unfortunately, I—"

"—was too imcompetent to find that member," interjected Paul.

Kazuya laughed. "Paul, do us all a favor: SHUT THE @#$% UP!!"

The Committee was silent.

Kazuya clasped a hand over his mouth.

Hwoarang was the first to break the silence. "Dude...is it just me....or did he just say a bunch of symbols?"

"Allow me to try it again," said Kazuya. "Paul, shut the @#$%--DAMMIT!"

Paul laughed. "You can’t even say @#$&--"He suddenly realized it happened to him as well. He was then struck in the head by a telescope.

"Can somebody tell me what the @#$%--dammit again—HELL is going on?" demanded Kazuya.

Bryan raised his hand.

Kazuya rolled his eyes. "You have any idea what’s up, Bryan-where-the-hell-are-my-M&Ms-Fury?"

"I think the language board finds that your use of the word @#$% is very offensive," Bryan explained.

Kazuya shrugged his shoulders. "Half  of the things I say is offensive. Why @#$%? And who the @#$% is this language board?!"

King raised his hand.

"Explain, King."

"They’re this board of people who determine what can and cannot be said in fan fictions."

Kazuya raised an eyebrow while drumming his fingers on the desk. "In case you haven’t noticed, King, this is REAL LIFE, not some stupid story!"

Kazuya threw a chalkboard that explained the differences between real life and a fan fiction on it at King’s head.

Kazuya folded his arms. "Lei!"

Lei suddenly woke up. "Huh?"

"I need you to go down to this board, if it exists,  and tell them that I have the right to say ‘@#$*’ !"

"It’s just a word, Kazuya! Let it—" He barely managed to dodge the CD player that was thrown at him.

"DO IT," ordered Kazuya. Lei ran out as fast as he could so he wouldn’t be hit by anything else.

"Now then, where were we?"

Lee checked his memo pad. "We were discussing the final member."

"That’s right." Kazuya cleared his throat. "Okay, does anybody have a good idea who it should be?"

Hwoarang raised his hand.

"Yes, junkie boy?"

"Man, damn! I have a name, you know!"

"Alright. So, who do you suggest, Hwoa...Hwoa-rayng...wait, no..."

"Hwoa-wrong," pronounced Hwoarang.

Kazuya stared at Hwoarang.  "So who do you have in mind, Bob?"

Hwoarang almost jumped out of his chair. "Wha-what the @#$&, man?! That’s not even CLOSE to my name!"

Kazuya shrugged his shoulders. "It’s so much easier to pronounce that way."

Hwoarang flailed his arms in the air. "But that’s NOT my name!"

"Fine, fine, we’ll take a vote. Who here finds ‘Bob’ to be easier to pronounce than ‘Hwoar—that other name?"

The vote was unanimous.

"@#$%," said Hwoarang.

"No need for a bunch of symbols, now," scolded Kazuya. "Anyway, we need to find the final member. Any suggestions?"

Ling (who, much to  Kazuya’s surprise,  wasn’t wearing any yellow ribbons)flailed her arm violently.

Kazuya rolled his eyes. "What’s your suggestion?"

Ling jumped up and down for joy. "Can we, like, have Panda in our little committee? She’s real smart for a panda—"

"Ling, I am only going to tell you this once, and ONLY once. NO BEARS. Do not forget it. Lee, memo: If Ling forgets, smack her with Panda statue."

Ling pouted as Lee wrote the memo down.

Paul interjected: "Hey dumb-ass, technically pandas aren’t really bears—"

Kazuya shut him up with the aforementioned Panda statue.

Kazuya sighed. "Any other suggestions as to who the final member should be, keeping in mind that Kunimitsu is excluded?"

"Why is she excluded?" asked Law.

Kazuya rolled his eyes. "Don’t you remember? Fake beauty pageant in an attempt to unmask Kunimitsu? Would have worked, but she stole the fake tiara thingy I made, and sent us that nasty letter when she found out that is was a fake."

"Oh yeah," Law replied.

 Kazuya was ready to throw a toaster oven at Law, but changed his mind.

King raised his hand.

"Please tell me you have something relevant to say, King," pleaded Kazuya.

"Hell yeah. I say we invite Armor King!"

Kazuya shook his head. "And be interrupted with the sounds of your drunken stupor? Hell no."

Yoshimitsu raised his hand.

"We should let the Jacks in! Robots are always cool to have, after all."

Kazuya laughed. "As if. One tried to kill me, Two and Gun Jack are always hanging around that girl, and Prototype  Jack, he’s a cheaply built piece of crap—pull one screw from him and watch his robotic ass fall to pieces. Next!"

Hwoarang suggested Baek Doo San before tripping out again.

"Give me a break. I bet he supplies you with the weed, too. It’s bad enough you get stoned in front of Lei; Baek will only bring more trouble to the committee!"

"Dude," said Hwoarang.

"What?"

"I can’t hear what you’re saying, but I can see all the words coming out of your mouth!"

Kazuya was almost tempted to throw a pedestal at the stoned kid, but again remembered the task at hand.

"How about  Bruce?" recommended Bryan.

Kazuya frowned. "You give me my damn M&M’s, and I just might consider him."

Bryan leaned back in his chair, muttering "They were just one small pack of M&M’s that I took, damn..." An M&M’s tin filled with coins collided with Bryan’s head soon after.

"How about my dad?’ suggested Forest Law.

Kazuya scoffed. "Right...when I say Law, I’ll have to be specific. Screw that. Oh, and Paul, why don’t you come up with something useful for once?"

Paul sneered. "As  a matter of fact, I think maybe Eddy Gordo would be a good addition to the committee."

Kazuya drummed his fingers on the desk for a minute. "Hell no. That guy’s got it in for me since I had his dad killed."

"Damn...why’d you go and do that?" asked Bryan.

Kazuya glared at Bryan. "I had him killed because he stole my Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, and never compensated me for them."

"You lie," replied Bryan. He was then smacked in the head by a box that had "Evidence That Proves That Eddy Gordo’s Dad Ate My Damn Reese’s" written on it.

"Why not Alex and Roger?" submitted Michelle.

Kazuya laughed hysterically for ten minutes. When he finally calmed down (and told the committee to stop staring at him) , he answered: "A dinosaur and a kangaroo that wears boxing gloves, right? I want to hear about Bob’s hallucinations, not live one."

"That’s not my name!" cried Hwoarang.

Kazuya ignored the junkie. "Any other suggestions?" asked Kazuya. Everyone was afraid to raise their hands for fifteen minutes. Kazuya tapped his foot. "I can’t wait forever, you know."

Just then, a disguised man burst through the door.

"I really need to get a good lock for that," muttered Kazuya. He threw a locker at Paul just to make himself feel a little better.

"I heard you all needed a final member for your committee!" exclaimed the disguised man.

Kazuya raised an eyebrow. "Okay, who the hell are you?"

The disguised man seemed to poorly disguise his panic attack.

"Why, I’m, uh, Mr. MiSHIN-RA, yes, Heihach—I mean, HeihaSHI. I am Heihashi  Mishinra.

All of the committee raised one of their eyebrows.

"So, you’re interested in the eighteenth member position, huh? You’ll have to be tested, you know."

Heihashi Mishinra stood tall and proud. "Bring it on!"

Kazuya glared at Heihashi for a second, then handed him a Kazuya doll.

"This is your first test. I will give you twenty-four hours to take care of this doll. It’s programmed to be sarcastic, randomly shout obscenities, look good in purple suits, and blush whenever Jun Kazama is around."

The doll blushed. Jun Kazama blushed out of flattery. Jin rolled his eyes.

"HOWEVER," added Kazuya, "The doll is also programmed to tell me when it’s been abused, so you better treat it nicely. Oh, and if you tamper with it, it will explode."

The doll said "So you better take good care of me, slack-ass!"

Heihashi gnashed his teeth in anger. Kazuya snickered.

"I’ll see you in twenty-four hours. Hell, I’ll see all of you in twenty-four hours. We need a break."

"Uh, Lei isn’t here," reminded Anna.

Kazuya shrugged his shoulders. "I’ll leave a message on his voice mail. He’ll have confronted this ‘board’ (if it exists) by then. Dismissed!"

---

TWENTY-FOUR HOURS LATER

The committee(including Lei, who looked like something of a mess) and Heihashi were in the meeting room.

"Alright Heihashi, let’s see the doll."

Heihashi reluctantly handed the doll back to Kazuya.

"Did I...miss something?" Lei whispered to Julia.

"Yeah...see, we tried to suggest who the final member would be, but each one was turned down. Then this disguised man named Heihashi Mishinra came into the room, and said he was interested in the position, so Kazuya decided to test Mishinra by first giving him a cute little Kazuya doll that was programmed to act like Kazuya, minus the object throwing—"

Julia was hit in the head by a matchbook.

"Ha! Proved you wrong there!" exclaimed the doll.

Julia snarled at the doll, but quickly regained her composure. "Anyway, the doll is also programmed to let Kazuya know if it’s been abused. Oh, and should the doll be tampered with, it will explode."

Lei whistled in amazement. "Damn, Kazuya really thinks these things through, huh? I’d like to get a doll like that."

Bryan glanced at Lei, then moved his chair a few inches away from Lei.

Kazuya just got through inspecting the doll. "Well I’ll be damned. You actually took good care of the doll." Kazuya put it in a doll-sized swivel chair and office desk, and pat it on the head.

"Anyone who wants to poke fun will be shot," warned the doll.

Nina looked at Kazuya. Kazuya nodded at Nina, and she grinned as she pulled out an AK-47.

"Well then, it’s time for the second test."

"Let’s get this over with," replied Heihashi.

Kazuya smirked. "Your next test to complement me for the next...oh, half hour. If you refuse, or try anything funny, you will be shot."

Heihashi’s jaw dropped, but he quickly put it back in place. "Great. When do I start?"

"Now."

Heihashi shuddered. "Alright...Kazuya is the godliest fighter that ever lived."

Kazuya laughed.

"Glad  I don’t  have to take that test," muttered Paul.

"Paul, you’re gonna take the damn test if you don’t shut the fuck up—HEY!!!!"

The room went silent in shock and awe.

"Did you hear that? I said it! I said @^$#—aw shit, now it’s just a bunch of symbols again. LEI!"

"Yes?"

"What happened at the board yesterday?"

"What? Oh, that. Get comfortable, because it’s kind of a long story."

Heihashi let out a sigh of relief.

"That doesn’t apply to you! Keep complimenting me!" ordered Kazuya.

"Grr...Kazuya is the best looking fighter that ever lived."

Kazuya laughed some more.

"So I went to see this ‘board’—if it existed. I went to the address that it was supposedly listed under, and when I went there, I saw an empty building. I went inside, and I suddenly fell through a hole that I didn’t notice. When I landed, I was suddenly at the mercy of this ‘board’. I decided to state our case.

"I told them that we had the right to say @#$%. They said we didn’t, because we didn’t have a license to use that word. So I begged and pleaded them to let us use it, and they granted us the chance to use it once and only once—well, you used it anyway."

"Why the hell didn’t you tell me before?" asked Kazuya.

"You didn’t ask!" exclaimed Lei.

"Booyaka!" shouted Paul.

Heihashi tried to hold back a laugh, so to throw Kazuya off, he quickly said, "Kazuya doesn’t take crap from nobody, which is why he is so great."

Kazuya broke his pencil in his hand. "Nina, shoot Paul for me, please."

Paul was shot while Lei was clobbered with an electric typewriter.

"Kazuya is the strongest man in the world."

"So now what are we going to do, Lei?"

Lei had an ice-pack on his head. "I already applied for a license."

"When will we get it?" asked Kazuya.

"Oh, about six to eight weeks."

Kazuya’s shoulders fell.

"Damn. I hate waiting."

"Kazuya Mishima is the man."

"You know what, Mr...Mishinra? You pass the second test. Now, for the third and final test."

Heihashi Mishinra was very relieved that he could cease the forced complements.  "What is the final test?"

Kazuya grinned. "Role-playing. You will pretend that you are my worthless father, and you will tell me, as him,  how sorry you are that you threw me off that cliff, threw me into that volcano, spread the rumor that I raped Jun, shot my son in the head, sold my precious sneaker collection on e-bay, and wrinkled my purple suit. NOBODY messes with the purple suit."

Lee nudged Kazuya and gave him the puppy-dog eyes.

Kazuya rolled his eyes and sighed. "Oh yes, and apologize for abusing poor Lee. It must be sincere, and very convincing."

Heihashi wanted to shout at Kazuya, but he held his tongue. "Very well," he finally said.

"I have some respect for my father now," Jin said.

Heihashi cleared his throat. "Jin...I am very sorry that  I shot you in your head. I hope that you may find it in your heart to forgive me. I did not know what I was thinking."

Jin scoffed. "Whatever."

Heihashi wanted to pound the youth badly, but controlled himself. "Lee, I apologize for making fun of your hair, and spreading that rumor that you were gay. Please forgive me."

Tears welled up in Lee’s eyes. "I spent over a million dollars on therapy!" he shouted, and then sat in a corner.

"Kazuya, my....son."

Kazuya grinned, and decided to play along to make it more interesting. "Yes Heihachi, my oh-so-worthless father?"

Heihashi’s face (what little showed through the disguise anyway) turned red.

"Kazuya, I apologize for thoughtlessly pitching you off of that cliff when you were five. I am also very sorry that I threw you into that volcano. I apologize spreading the rumors that you raped Jun as well, and Jun, I apologize for any harm I caused you. I am also very sorry that I sold off your sneaker collection. I should have asked. I was very thoughtless to do so."

Kazuya waved his hand. "Keep going."

Heihashi slumped. "I’m also sorry that I put that one wrinkle in your purple suit. I apologize for climbing back up that cliff when I was supposed to be dead. I am also sorry that I tried to make you change your hair. I apologize...."

---

AN HOUR LATER

"...for giving away your cat, ‘Kat-zuya.’ I am very sorry for stealing your hair spray. I—"

"That’s enough, that’s enough," said Kazuya. "Now then, I want you, as Heihachi, to—hold on a second."

 Kazuya pulled out a megaphone. "WAKE UP."

The committee woke up very abruptly, except for Hwoarang, who had been tripping the whole time.

"Anyway, I want you, as Heihachi, to tell me how worthless you really are."

"I hope this doesn’t take as long as the apologies," muttered Jin.

Heihashi twitched. "FINE," he agreed through his teeth. He drank a glass of water. "I, Heihachi Mishima, am the biggest idiot in the world. I am nothing more than a child abuser in severe need of anger management classes, and I have a severe inferiority complex."

"Beautiful," Kazuya declared. "Keep it coming."

Heihashi gnashed his teeth once more. "I am also a very stupid person, for if I had never knocked up Kazumi, I wouldn’t have a disappointment for a son, and a pansy for a grandson; if I never went to China, I wouldn’t have found this flaming homosexual with the silver hair!!!"

"OH MY GOD, the pain, the pain!" cried Lee.

"A pansy?! Why, you..." Jin put on his fighting gloves.

A look of indescribable rage came to Kazuya’s face. "So, I was right. You ARE my stupid-ass father!"

 Heihachi removed his disguise to reveal himself. "That’s right, Kazuya! I wouldn’t have wanted to join your stupid committee anyway!"

"Excuse me?! We’re just too cool for you, that’s all, Heihachi," replied Kazuya.

Heihachi scoffed. "You think you’re all ‘cool’? Jun is a wuss, Nina is the worst assassin ever, Lei is a hopeless romantic, King is just a drunk, Hwoarang is always high, Paul is just a smack-talker, Bryan...Bryan is just a freak, Yoshimitsu is a Robin-Hood poser, Ling is an air-head, Michelle IS an axe-murderer, Anna thinks she can get attention by showing off her horrible body, Ganryu is just a stupid fat-ass who needs a life, Law...why the hell are you even here, Law?! Julia is just hot-headed, Jin is a pansy, Lee is gay, and Kazuya, YOU are just weak, and should have stayed dead!"

The committee was silent.

Michelle twitched.

Nina tried her best not to shoot Heihachi.

King brought out a wrestling ring.

Yoshimitsu held his sword, ready to strike.

Paul and Law cracked their knuckles.

Julia prayed for Kazuya to let them beat up Heihachi.

Bryan practiced punching Heihachi.

Ling wondered why everyone was so upset.

Lei was trying to decide what stance to beat Heihachi up with.

Ganryu held back his tears; not because Heihachi made fun of him, but because Heihachi insulted Michelle.

 Anna adjusted her dress so that nothing would go wrong when the opportunity to beat up Heihachi came.

Lee smoked.

Jun waited.

Jin watched his dad, waiting to see what the next move would be.

Hwoarang put his goggles on his forehead, and glared at the eldest Mishima.

Kazuya stood on the desk. "Committee...our next order of business is..." he looked at Heihachi as he was saying this, "..to WAIL ON HEIHACHI’S ASS!!!!"

With that, Kazuya jumped down from the desk, and knocked Heihachi down. After he punched Heihachi in the face, the rest of the committee joined in.

---

THRITY-THREE MINUTES LATER, ON A REALLY BIG HELICOPTER

"Man, this is the greatest meeting ever!" exclaimed Hwoarang as he lit up a blunt.

"I have a whole new respect for my father," Jin declared proudly.

"That was just beautiful when you put your cigarette out on his bald head, Lee," complimented King. "Very insulting."

Lee grinned. "I liked the part where you brought him into the ring and wailed on him for five minutes. That rolling move you did surely damaged his back, man."

Paul(who was okay for someone who was shot two hours ago) grinned. "That was just classic when you held the old man down while I beat him up, and then we just wailed on him together."

Kazuya nodded. "For once, we actually agreed on something."

"Don’t think you and your little committee can get away with this!" exclaimed Heihachi, who was bound to a chair.

"Yeah, well, what are you going to do about it?" dared Kazuya.

"I’m going to start my OWN committee! We’re going to upstage your committee for sure!"

"I bet." Kazuya rolled his eyes.

"I’ll call them the ‘Rival Tekken Committee’ or something like thaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!" Kazuya decided to kick the bound Heihachi out of the chopper.

"Don’t come back now, okay?" called Kazuya.

Nina fire a few rounds after Heihachi. She looked at Kazuya, and shrugged her shoulders. "In case the fall doesn’t kill him."

"So, what’s left now?" asked Law.

Kazuya thought for a moment. "We still need to find our final member. Let’s head back to the committee room."

Kazuya and the rest of the committee looked to catch Hwoarang attempting to walk off the chopper, until Michelle grabbed him.

"Dude! Those clouds over there invited me for tea!"

Kazuya wanted to shove Hwoarang out of the chopper.

"The tea they’re serving isn’t good for you," explained Michelle.

"Dude, really? That sucks. Thanks for saving me the trouble!" He gave Michelle the thumbs-up.

Michelle smiled sarcastically. "Sure thing, whatever..."

Ganryu was walking towards the sky.

"I’m not saving you, Ganryu," remarked Michelle.

"But Michelle—AIIIEEEE!" Ganryu quickly grabbed the edge of the floor in the chopper, which kept him from falling to the ground thousands of miles below him.
 

"Let’s just get back to the committee before someone ELSE does something stupid," suggested Kazuya. "Lee, memo: Never take committee on the chopper ever again. EVER!"

Lee agreed.

---

BACK AT THE COMMITTEE

"So, all that is left is the final member," reminded Kazuya.

"Well, we’re all out of ideas," complained King.

"But there HAS to be someone that can serve a purpose for the committee," Kazuya pondered aloud. At the moment, a black and white cat walked into the room.

"Hey, there’s a cat in here," said Nina.

"I’ll get rid of it," said Paul. He approached the cat, and reached out to pick it up, but the cat hissed and bit him.

"AAAAAAAOWWWW!!!!" shouted Paul as he sucked on his bleeding finger. "What the hell?"

"I don’t think it wants to leave," said King. The cat looked at  King, and it began to nudge King’s leg. King picked it up.

"Hey, it, like, thinks you’re a cat," remarked Ling.

"It’s so cute," King said. Suddenly, the cat hissed, and swiped a paw at King’s face, scratching the mask.

"Hey, what did it do THAT for?!" he exclaimed.

The cat walked up to Jun, and purred. Jun scratched the little cat under the chin.

"It’s so adorable," said Jun. Paul and King groaned. Both were immediately struck by two bags of kitty litter.

"Here, kitty, kitty, kitty," Kazuya called, holding a toy mouse by the tail. The cat walked up to the mouse, sniffed it, and in one swipe, tore the mouse to pieces.

"Hey, that mouse cost me three bucks!" Kazuya shouted at the cat. The cat cocked its head at Kazuya, then its ears pulled back.

"Okay, why is it doing that?" asked Kazuya. "It’s not mad at me, is it?" Kazuya observed the cat for a minute. "No, it’s purring.  But it’s ears...why is it doing that?"

Jun giggled. "I think it’s imitating your hairstyle."

Kazuya’s jaw dropped, and he was ready to yell at the cat, but he found it impossible to do so.

"It’s so CUTE!" he exclaimed.

"Oh my God...Kazuya’s getting all mushy...that’s classic, hahaha," teased Paul. The cat ran up to Paul, and clawed his face.

"YEEEAAAAAAA!!!" screamed Paul as he clutched his face. "That’s a demon-cat right there!!!"

Kazuya looked at the cat. "I wonder why it wandered in here?"

"I can find out," answered Jun. She beckoned the cat to come to her. The cat walked up to Jun, then sat in front of her.

"Meow," said Jun. "Meow, mrow, meow, meow."

"Meow...mrow, meow," replied the cat.

"Oh my God, my mom really IS weird," said Jin.

"I’m not...hallucinating...am I?" asked Hwoarang. He looked at Nina. She shook her head.

"She’s like Doctor Dolittle!" exclaimed Paul. The cat hissed at Paul. Paul flinched.

"I can speak cat too!" exclaimed King. He cleared his throat. "ROWR! MEOW, MEOW. MROW."

The cat turned to face King, then it held up its paw.

Hwoarang lit up another blunt. "Dude, I think it’s giving you the finger."

King sat back in his chair in disgust.

"Lee, take a memo: weirdest meeting ever."

"Agreed," replied Lee as he took the memo.

Jun looked at Kazuya. "The cat says that she came here because she was interested in the position of being the eighteenth member."

"Is that so?" Kazuya asked aloud. "Here, kitty, kitty." The cat walked up to Kazuya.

"Alright, so you want in on the committee, huh?"

The cat purred.

"Alright, you’re in. Your purpose is to serve as our cute, cuddly, and  fuzzy mascot. Okay?"

The cat purred louder, then pulled its ears back.

"Aw, come here, kitty!" Kazuya held the cat. "I’m going to name you ‘Kat-zumi’, okay?"

The cat purred.

"Hey! Why are we letting a CAT join the committee?" demanded Paul.

Kazuya and Kat-zumi looked at Paul. "Because she is such a darling, and a smart one at that. She hates you, so that’s another reason for her to stay right there."

The cat let out a happy meow.

"So...I guess that’s it, right?" asked King.

Kazuya shrugged his shoulders. "I guess so. Committee, let’s welcome the eighteenth and final member of the committee: Kat-zumi!"

The committee cheered enthusiastically; not completely because they were happy to have a new member or a fuzzy, cuddly mascot, but because they were afraid Kazuya would put the hurt on them if they didn’t cheer for the cat.

"Alright, now let’s have a party to celebrate."

"Hell yeah! Everybody come to my place in thirty minutes!" exclaimed King.

"Good idea," agreed Kazuya. "Dismissed!"

The committee left the room. Lee and Kazuya remained. Kazuya was still admiring the cat.

"She is a cutie, isn’t she?" commented Lee.

Kazuya nodded. "Yup. Reminds me of my old cat. I’ll get my father for that soon enough. Hmm."

"What is it?" asked Lee.

Kazuya pulled a Heihachi doll from a drawer in his desk, and handed it to the cat, The cat pounced on it, and it even bit and clawed at the Heihachi doll.

"It hurts, it hurts!" exclaimed the doll.

"I finally found a use for that Heihachi doll," said Kazuya.

Lee grinned. "Yeah. That was fun when we wailed on him." He looked at his watch. "Hey, we need to get ready for the party. After all, what’s a party without bad-ass pimps like us?"

Kazuya removed his trench coat, revealing his purple suit. "That’s right! You coming, Kat-zumi?"

The cat purred, and followed Kazuya and Lee out of the committee room.

Narrator: So the final member joined the committee: the fuzzy and cuddly mascot, Kat-zumi.

"Hey, committees that are cool like ours NEED a mascot," said Kazuya.

Narrator: *nods* Heihachi also received a much-deserved beat down as well.

Kazuya nodded. "I gave him those tests on purpose because I knew he was my father, and I knew my father could only last so long."

Narrator: Hey, I thought that was a brilliant move there.

Kazuya smirked. "Yeah. Come on, I’ll buy you an orange smoothie."

Narrator: WHOO-HOO! *leaves*

---

 

AND NOW, KAZUYA MISHIMA’S COMMENTS ON THE STORY

"I have to say, this was the weirdest of the Tekken Committee stories. I mean, Jun is talking to a cat, for crying out loud! And the cat becomes a committee member! What the hell is that all about?! Oh, and then there was that language board thing...we really didn't go into it that much, did we? Oh, and my father’s attempt to get into the committee was very sad. Also, the reason why Eddy Gordo’s father was killed was rather ridiculous!

"However, I liked the part where my father was beaten up and thrown out of a helicopter. Also, the way I come with that plan to make my father snap was absolutely brilliant. Also, I was more cunning than insane, which was a nice change (however, I fear that it will not last). Also, the origin of Hwoarang’s nickname "Bob" was a very nice addition. Oh, and my finally being able to say "fuck" was rather funny.

"Well, I guess that’s the end of this story. But I assure you, there will be more, which means I will probably be depicted as the grand psycho of the group again. *shrugs shoulders* Whatever. I like it, so what do I care? Until Next Time..."

NEXT EPISODE: The introduction of  the Rival Tekken Committee! What will the original Tekken Committee do about this? Also, Jin gets a girl pregnant! Okay, not really. I just wanted to see the look on your face, hahaha. Damn, I wish  I took a picture of it. Oh well.  Stay tuned....