RTC*Episode 2: Film Festival followed by Iron Fists!**KD-MITSU*: Okay, this one's gonna be much longer. It
shows you what the Rival Committee's films SHOULD
have been, and everyone talks a whole lot more.
Enjoy!!!
"Right Wang, what's today's agenda?"
Heihachi sat back in his easy chair. Wang cleared his throat.
"OK, we've had hate mail from Bruce, Lei and Ganryu fans asking where the hell they are, Gon-hachi needs picking up from the hairdressers, and we all need to finish our films for the festival."
Lara twirled her pistols."Well, I finished MY film last week, so I'll go pick up Gon-hachi."
"Why pick him up when you have Heihachi!" Alex grinned.
Roger rolled his eyes. "You goddamn sicko!"
"Take that back before I slap you, pouch-head!"
Alex broke Roger's arm. Roger bit Alex.
"I bet fifty on Roger!", waved Armor King.
"Hell yeah!", agreed Eddy.
Alex, Roger, Armor King and Eddy all got whacked with an ornamental flamingo by Heihachi.
Kunimitsu sighed. "Can't any Committee go one day without fighting?"
"Er...no." Wang replied.
Angel butted in. "Like, er, can't we just GET ON WITH WHATEVER IT IS WE'RE MEANT TO BE DOING BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS AND IF NOBODY TELLS ME I WILL SCREAM VERY LOUDLY INDEED!"
Heihachi fell backwards. Dr.B had a triple coronary. All the other members of the Committee sat with looks of pure terror etched onto their faces.
Kuma Jnr stood up."I think", he growled,"that we should preview some of the finished films."
"Okay, so how many of you are finished?", asked Lara.
All hands were raised.
"Right then. Wang, play the first tape."
"OK, Lara. This is Heihachi's film: Heihachi's Dream."
*HEIHACHI'S DREAM*Heihachi is sat on a park bench, watching the ducks in the lake swim by. The screen blurs, and we see Heihachi's 'dream' as he flies over mountains and rivers, smiling at the people below. The screen changes back to Heihachi smiling.
Lara gave an uneasy smile. "That was...Unique.""That was lame", muttered Eddy, who was summarily hit by a plastic moose.
Wang sighed. "Okay everyone, time for Kunimitsu's film.
*KUNIMITSU: HIDDEN BEAUTY*Kunimitsu is kneeling in front of a mirror, staring at her reflection. Her voice-over is heard:
"Many people seek to reveal the truth behind my mask. But my face is not all that I hide... My past is littered with bad memories, memories which I hoped to leave behind when I joined the Manji Clan. Memories which tear me up inside..."
Kunimitsu takes off the mask, revealing a face similar to Nina's. She buries her face in her hands, sobbing, and shatters the mirror in one blow.
The whole committee reached for a Kleenex. Baek's 'imported cigarette' fell out of his wide-open mouth. He started to speak.
"Wait for it...", said Heihachi.
"Man...it's SHINY", Baek finally managed to mutter.
"Wang, take a memo - get rid of all the mirrors. Right, who's up next?"
"The next film is by...me! Wang Jinrey, in: Jinpachi Mishima-The tribute."
*WANG JINREY: JINPACHI MISHIMA-THE TRIBUTE*
Wang is seen sifting through a large pile of black and white photos, most of which are of Jinpachi. He turns to the camera.
"Jinpachi Mishima was one of my greatest friends. He was a husband, father, and honoured companion. Myself and Armor King spent many years training with him, and in every training match we had, he emerged the victor. When Heihachi Mishima was born, Jinpachi was thrilled. He had always wanted a son to carry on his vast legacy. When he did pass on, he left not only his posessions,
but his soul, which I strongly believe lives on in his son, Heihachi. Many of these early photos of Jinpachi could easily be mistaken for Heihachi, Kazuya, or even young Jin. He lives on in all of us."Wang turns back to the photos, and the screen slowly fades into black.
Baek was the first to speak."Man, why are all our films so short?"
An overcome Heihachi chucked an AK47 at Baek.
"Hey, my head!", Baek moaned.
"Hey, my gun!", Lara fumed.
"Er, moving swiftly on," Wang interrupted."This is Lara's film about her house."
*LARA CROFT-TOMB RAIDER*
Lara is stood outside a large mansion.
"When I'm not out exploring, I like nothing better than tackling the large obstacle courses in various places in and around my home. My father disowned me some time ago, but I make enough money to maintain my mansion and it's attachments."
Lara runs into the house and shoots some targets. She then heads into a room full of monkey bars and boxes. She makes her way around the obstacles and finishes by diving into the pool, She surfaces and faces the camera.
"I also have another assault course outside, a maze and, most recently, a quad bike circuit."
Various clips flash on the screen of Lara climbing, diving, running and driving. Lara takes a swig of a Coke can her butler is holding, then walks away into the house.
"The house is pretty old, but it can still withstand me! *giggles* My butler, Jeeves, helps me with my target practice and food storage."
Lara is shown shooting the butler, then locking him in the freezer. She then hugs him, and the screen fades.
Armor King drained his beer can, and chucked it over his shoulder. "Hey, where is Lara?"
"She didn't want to bother seeing her film when she was in it, so she's gone to get Gon-hachi", Wang explained.
Heihachi said, "Maybe she'll buy me some M&Ms on the way back..."
Dr.B shuddered. "DON'T even THINK about starting that."
Kunimitsu laughed. "Hey, Heihachi, why not buy a purple suit? I mean, we have so many parodies of the other Committee, what will one more matter?"
Heihachi thought about it for a second, then said: "No. Freaking. Way. Wang. Roll. Next. Tape. NOW."
*KD-MITSU*: Okay, now I don't want to get c.t.s like that Kazuya freakette (LOL Saiyan ;-), so here's a kwik rundown of the other films:
Eddy's film (which Gon-hachi snored all the way through) was just 10 minutes of him showing off, Angel and Panda performed a Banjo-Kazooie parody, Alex and Roger filmed themselves having a boxing match, Kuma Snr's film was of him buying axes (which worried Wang a little), Baek
played the ukulele (and yes, he was high at the time), and Kuma Jnr went fishing for salmon. Dr.B's movie displayed all his lab equipment, and Gon-hachi's film (which Eddy snored all the way through) was his Tekken 3 ending looped for over 20 minutes.(zzzz...) Oh yeah, and Armor King just drank beer in his film.*takes deep breath* Ok, back to the Committee...
*AFTER THE FILM FESTIVAL*
Heihachi is tied up in an electric chair. Angel is using her laser to power the chair. Lara has given everyone a gun, and they are all pointed at Heihachi. Dr.B is about to pull
the switch for the chair."Okay then, everyone-3,2,1..."
"This is totally and utterly stupid."
"What is, Armor King?", asked Angel.
"Holding the Committee meeting in Heihachi's hospital ward. I mean, there are no animals allowed in, so half the Committee isn't here, there is hardly enough room for us as it is, and Heihachi is uncon, unconcionci, unc- er, knocked out."
Lara glared. "Ssh! He's coming round."
"Damnit", muttered Dr.B.
Heihachi sat up, coughed, and said, "I'll be alright now, I suppose. Oh yeah, and since that dumb other committee is working on pansy minigames, we're going to be in that PSX dance game, what's it called Wang?"
"Oh, um, Bust-A-Groove."
"Yeah. Get practising. See you guys when I get out of here. Oh, and Baek?"
"Man..."
"Get away from my bedside mirror. NOW!"
*AND NOW, FROM HIS HOSPITAL BED, A WORD FROM HEIHACHI MISHIMA*:
You'd better have liked this one, because I suffered sooo much... *goes off on a giant
rant about how he gets treated* Where was I? Oh yeah, about them films. Some of those were admittedly a bit on the short side (aHEM 0_0;) OK, myself included, but Wang really made use of his time, *sniff* 'Dada...' Oh, and I have no idea exactly how Baek found that ukulele, or even learnt to play it. But I can confirm that he didn't touch one mirror, and he smoked 15 cigs, just
so he could play the damn thing right.Kunimitsu is actually very pretty (I hope Lara and Nina are out of earshot) and I think she shattered that mirror just in time. (Baek in background:"Man, get off my case!") Also, Lara has a nice house, but we didn't get to see her bedroom *dirty grin* (gets hit in head with MK gun by
Lara) Ow! Damn...Just watch out for when we take part in Bust-A-Groove because that Kitty-N is one damn fine feline... (is hit in head by 2nd MK gun by Lara) Ow! See ya next time....
SPECIAL BONUS! BRUCE IRVIN'S NASTY LETTER!Dear Heihachi,
I have noticed that you have started a
committee which I am not involved in. As you can
understand, I am none too happy at your decision to
leave me out, and so I have only one thing to say to you:
You suck. (And that's putting it nicely,
you idiotic, moronic old spoony bard!)Fondest wishes
Bruce Irvin.
*STAY TUNED FOR EPISODE 3: Bust-A-Gon!*
Will Lara out-dance the evil Robo-Z? Can Heihachi get back into the committee's good books? Will I get c.t.s anway, and will I get hooked on writing these damn stupid cliffhangers? Find out in a tale of dancing, beer, and-you guessed it-A PLASTIC MOOSE!
