A CRASHMAS CAROL
*Frank and Nancy Sinatra - "Something Stupid" starts playing on acoustic guitars at this stage*
A huge stack of hay lied in some sort of square chamber. On the subject of which, the sides were painted with the background of the Wild West. The hay threads blew lightly in the wind, scattering them slightly. After a while, some of the threads revealed a white object sticking out from it all - a hand-drawn comic. Nearby, a red chocobo came walking by, and looked down at the paper. Immediately, it brought out its beak, and was about to lower its head down towards it... until a long black hand reached down and picked it up.
*scene changes to a dressing room. Music stops*
Inside, the comic strip can be seen in the same hand. It was looked at a black and white skinny figure, with vicious looking eyes. Those... were the eyes of Johnny C, more known as the 'Homicidal Maniac'.
Johnny: Okay, who placed my comic strip inside the chocobo pen?
There was a response of denial from thirty odd other people inside the room. The whole thing brought an angered face across it.
Johnny: LISTEN TO ME!!! WHO TRIED TO FEED MY COMIC STRIP TO RUBIE???
There was silence. And then, two seconds later, all hands start to point at one person in there, or one Anthro as a matter of fact - Crash Bandicoot. Immediately... he blushed, and ran out of the room.
*scene changes to outside a concert hall, with several cars coming outside. Abba - "I Have A Dream" is played by flutes and strings at this point*
A lot of people started to emerge from the cars, smiling in anticipation. One by one, they made it inside the building, which had the logo flashing in bright festive lights.
A CRASHMAS CAROL
Once inside, the people were greeted by food and ticket stands, and several doors to lead to different parts of the seating arrangements. One particular couple walked in looking for a packet of pear drops, which someone already wrote on beforehand.
A fanfic by Ms RexRock
Unnoticed, they took the toffees and made their way to the theatre itself. It was furnished with rouge seats and ceiling, and in front of it all was a bright green safety curtain, with white text on it.
~Based on a novel by Charles Dickens~
However, behind all the curtains was more than meets the eye. The whole crew were sorting out their costumes in the dressing rooms backstage, and some of which, whom were fully dressed, even attempted to revise their lines.
*music fades out*
Rexy: My tea's gone cold, I wonder wh-
Suddenly, a scythe struck her on the head.
Rexy: OW!
She grabbed hold of her head in pain, and looked out at the figure, whom walked past her with an oversized death scythe. He had a black cloak, and with grey fur and red hair and eyes. Her eyes were brought in anger.
Rexy: Chain! Just watch where you're going next time!!!
Chain: Sorry about that... *looks at his scythe* I knew I should have taken a smaller prop... -_-
With disappointment, he sat on the side, looking down at himself. With thoughts on him being 'stupid' on stage, all he could do was look down and imagine what could happen next. Nearby, a pink haired dalmatian sat down beside him.
Dalmatian: Aw, cheer up Chain... you can disguise my light sabre as a scythe.
Chain: Thanks Jessica, but won't it burn my hand?
Jessica: Not if you take hold of the handle properly.
Chain: Exactly! *stands up and stretches his hands* If we have a bamboo stick that big, then who knows where the lightsabre will be placed inside! *pause* Still... at least it hopefully won't be as bad as the brimstone back in Hell...
Jessica: *starts giggling* Chain, you're weird, but I like you.
She went up to him, and stroked his fur. A few seconds later, she walked away, leaving him blushing deeply. Meanwhile, in another corner, were a set of people who were already ready, yet they weren't rehearsing their lines. Instead, one of them, being an arctic fox in red clothing, hummed the theme tune to Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? out loud, and started immitating a game show voice when he spoke.
Fox: Hello, and welcome to Christmas Eve's edition of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?! Like we left last night, we have Mrs Dibler anticipating the $750'000 question. How do you feel about this?
'Mrs Dibler': Zephyr, get real. The name's Tamborina. And besides, that was the worst Regis impression I've seen in yonks.
Zephyr: ...anyhow, let's leave that aside, and get with the question.
He sets a tape player, playing one of the backing tracks on the show itself.
Zephyr: In the hit musical Cats, which of the characters sung the song 'Memory'? Is it A - Sillabub, B - Bombalurina, C - Grizabella, or D - Macavity?
Tamborina sat there, sulking, with anger.
Zephyr: Take your time. There's nothing to lose.
Tamborina: I wanna leave.
Zephyr: You wanna phone a friend? Well, okay! Who do you want to phone?
Tamborina: Zetzer Bandicoot, but what does it matter?
Zephyr: Okay, just hold on while we get a link...
He brought his hands over his face, and started immitating a telephone ringing. Then, another sound was immitated on picking it up.
Zetzer: Hello?
Zephyr: Hi Charles Dickens, this is Regis Philbin from Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?! I got your character Mrs Dibler here... *points at Tamborina* ...and she's on the £750'000 question! How do you feel?
Tamborina: *looks at him suspiciously* You need to get out more. ¬_¬
In a rage, she left the area. This left the fox and the bandicoot looking at each other, and then they shrugged.
Meanwhile, Tamborina made her way near the stage. She took a look out to the audience, and looked over at the cats waiting for her in the audience. Even Mr. Mistofolees couldn't help but wave back at her. That caused her to take more cover behind the curtains. But will she be like this on stage? More questions circled around her head as the safety curtain was coming close to its raising.
However, deep within the depths of the backstage area, there was an open door leading into the mens' toilets. In one corner, there was a blonde haired man smoking cigarettes and stubbing them out. And in another corner was a grey haired man dressed in a posh outfit, over at a sink washing his hands. Behind him were a couple of cubicles, where two voices were heard.
Voice 1: Never walked forth with the other members of my family?
Voice 2: I don't think I have. I am pretty sure I would have remembered it. No, I am afraid I have not. Have you many brothers and sisters, Spirit?
Voice 1: More than eighteen hundred to date!
Voice 2: Eighteen hundred! A tremendous family to provide for... er... can we cut? I don't think I showed the energy in there...
Blonde man: HEY! Will you @#%$ keep it quiet in there? I'm trying to have my @#%$ here!
White man: Calm down Cid, you'll only have more health problems than ever...
Blonde man: SETZER! Since when did I ask you, you mother @#%$?
The cries caused Setzer to look down with fear. Suddenly, both cubicle doors opened, and out there came two figures. One of them was a scientist with black hair and a peculiar looking tattoo on his head, and on his right was a brown haired boy sporting a hooded jacket, a red suit underneath and a keyblade in one of his hands.
Cid: Oh... er... sorry Sora... I had no idea that you were so keen on learning your lines...
Sora: Actually, it was Dr. Cortex that needed help more than anything... you should have seen the size of his script!
Cortex: It's true... I didn't even want to take the role as Scrooge in the first place!
Setzer: Look here... I didn't want to be Pete Cratchit either, but think. There's a purpose why you're here tonight!
Sora: Of course! I'm here to impress Riku, Leon, Yuffie and Aerith tonight after seeing me seal the Darkness away, with Kairi, Donald and Goofy helping me out... speaking of which, what about those walls that separated our worlds?
Cid: Maybe they closed down for the yuletide season?
Sora: Good thinking, Cid.
Cid: I'm here to prove a point that pilots can act as well as they can @#%$ drive!
Setzer couldn't help but smirk... then laugh lightly.
Setzer: Yeah, I'm here for similar reasons to Cid... besides, this is all a charity event, right? To help the people of all dimensions see that Christmas exists everywhere!
Cortex: Setzer, you may have a point there. Thanks.
As he said that, the two airship pilots left. This left Cortex to look into the eyes of Sora, and Sora to look into the eyes of Cortex. The pair of them have dreams for the night, about to emerge into their own unique way.
*scene changes to the dressing rooms. Vanilla Ice - "Ice Ice Baby" starts playing in the background*
In the room, a set of girls were seen dancing to the music - which was being played on a tape machine - all in their costumes. Lioness Cougar took the lead, in a posh looking rouge ballgown, and by her side were Silvia Dingo to her left, dressed in a Victorian commoners dress, and Kairi, in a short and frilly white gown.
Lioness: COME ON!!! SHAKE YOUR BOOTY!!!! Hey, Silvie! Try and shake those hips a bit more and keep your stomach in!
Silvia: I'm trying my hardest!
Lioness: And Kairi! Try and loosen your hair a bit more!
Kairi: It would have been easier if I had extentions filled in...
Suddenly, someone pulled the plug on the player. They all turned to the left and saw a chesty looking woman with blonde hair and a 'sexy' look on her.
Silvia: What the... TAWNA!
Kairi: Hey, you put that down! We were quite enjoying that!
Tawna: I'm sorry to disrupt your little dance routine, ladies, but the show is about to start!
Silvia: I still don't understand what gives... we don't come in until Act 3!
Tawna: I know, but you still have to come in the background, though. Be ready for it.
And so she left. The three of them look at each other.
Kairi: If I had a singing voice it'll match that of Cilla Black. -_-
Silvia: Surprise surprise, it isn't! We gotta get out there and show 'em what we're made of!
*'End of the World' theme from Kingdom Hearts starts playing*
They all waited by the door. Then, they received an applause as the actors of the first act all queued up in line. Standing right in front of the door was Zetzer Bandicoot, whom we know by now holds the role of Charles Dickens. The other bandicoots cheered on for him in the background. Going right behind him was Dr. Neo Cortex, on the scene with leg extentions and a top hat from a Best Man at a wedding. And further behind still came two cats, walking together hand in hand. They received further applause, and chanting in the form of "Peridot! Chandler!" in a repeat loop. Then came another bandicoot, and as he took his place he waved at Zetzer, whom started waving back.
Zetzer: You go Thrash!
Thrash: Thanks bro!
As they spoke, the cheering drowned out their conversations. Then came a yellow dingo, followed by a small yellow dingodino, and Setzer Gabbiani by his side. And further behind still there was a red haired wolarcoot, and she immediately waved to Lioness, whom waved back.
Tawna: Right, I wish you the best of luck for tonight! We're here to have a good time and show the Christmas spirit to them all! Let's go go go go go!
Everyone applauded as the actors of the first act left the room and headed towards the stage. Once there, Zetzer took his place on stage and sat down on a stool. Everyone else stayed out of view for the time being. Tawna brought in the thumbs up, and then, five seconds later, the safety curtain was raised. The lights were exposed down to Zetzer, as he looked out to the audience, ready to place a kick start to the production.
*an orchestral version of Eminem - "Lose Yourself" is played at this point*
A crowd of people awaited Zetzer's eyes. His tail started to slightly shake behind him, but he brought his chest up and started saying his lines.
Zetzer: Marley was dead, to begin with. This must be distinctly understood, or nothing wondrous can come of the story we are about to relate...
He started turning around, with curious looks on his face, as he saw Peridot and Chandler come on in the back, with Cortex following them.
Zetzer: Scrooge knew he was dead? Of course he did. How could it be otherwise? Scrooge and he had been partners in business for years. When Marley died Scrooge was his sole executor, his sole friend and sole mourner. And even Scrooge was not so dreadfully cut up by the sad event but that he was an excellent man of business on the very day of the funeral.
Cortex: (aside) Strange... this sounds worse than my father...
*laughter from the audience*
Zetzer: *cough cough* Old Marley was dead as a doornail. There is no doubt whatsoever about that. The register of his burial was signed by the clergyman, the clerk, the undertaker, and the chief mourner. Scrooge signed it: and Scrooge's name was good upon the Exchange for anything he chose to put his hand to. Oh, but he was a tight-fisted hand at the grindstone, Scrooge! a squeezing, wrenching, grasping, scraping, clutching, covetous sinner.
At the sound, the two cats started flinching at every last word that Zetzer said. Their ears also lowered in silence once he was done, and he jumped down the stage.
Meanwhile, backstage, there was a totally different story. Rubie, the red chocobo, was out of the chocobo pen. And there, she was looking up at two figures. One of which we can tell is Crash, the other has red hair and is holding a blitzball in his hand. The pair of them had peculiar looking eyes at them.
Crash: What are you looking at? ¬_¬
Rubie: BWAK!
Red man: Say, you sure that James letting us take care of this thing is a good idea?
Crash: Calm down Wakka, there's nothing to be afraid of.
Wakka: I hope so, otherwise it won't be that cool...
Crash: And if all heck breaks loose...
Wakka: We're gonna sleep outside the funeral home tomorrow morning.
Crash: Yeah, that's if no other feathered animals are hurt...
There was giggling in the background. And there stood a demon with red wings, a silver kimono and green spiked hair. She looked at them with shifting eyes.
Demon: Ladies and gentlemen... we have the real life Beavis and Butthead. Ante up!
Wakka: Thanks Lozzy! I've been waiting for you to say that, ya?
Lozzy: *starts walking forward* It's more than just that, you know. *kneels down to Rubie's level* Hey, come here Rubie, you look awfully bloodthirsty right now...
Crash: Er... we only just fed her.
Lozzy: She looks a bit wimpy. We should feed her something else... how about... JOHNNY'S COMIC!!!
At the sound, Johnny went right behind her back and twisted her wing around. She started screaming with pain.
Johnny: Leave my comic alone or else you're playing kiddy Scrooge, which I doubt you have the glam for...
Lozzy: ACK! Course not! *escapes from Johnny's grasp* And no, I do NOT have the guts to look like a nanny-headed scientist right now... -_-
Johnny: Neither did I, but once I mentioned the leg extentions he approved with the...
Lozzy: MORE THAN THAT YOU HOMICIDAL PIECE OF CRUD!!! A - I'm a girl, 2 - I'm a demon, and C - I don't even know your script, goddammit!
There was silence. Then... Wakka stood up and spoke.
Wakka: Er... Lozzy...
Lozzy: WHAT???
Wakka: You scared Rubie away...
They looked into the direction of an old closet. It was slightly open, and the door was creaking on its hinges. That brought worried expressions to the faces of the three of them.
Johnny: God's sake... NOT THE OLD PART OF THE THEATRE!!!
Lozzy: I'm not happy about this either, but once we get her outta there I'm putting a lock on that door.
Crash: And how will you do that?
Lozzy: Ice, Crash, use your brain for once!
Wakka: Besides, getting her out won't be as bad as fighting SIN [FFX main boss], ya?
They looked towards the door, and saw the dust that started to evoke from inside. Carefully, the four of them linked arms, and carefully walked right towards the door. What could have taken hold of Rubie inside there? How will the first act cope along? And will James be able to find out about this? All those questions and a heck of a lot more started to roam around their heads as the journey became darker for them. Much darker, as a matter of fact.
Back on stage, the lights came up as we saw Cortex as Scrooge in the counting house, writing with a quill in an old book. Five seconds later, two charity cats came in, in the form of Peridot and Chandler.
Peridot: A merry Christmas-
Chandler: -and a happy new year!
Cortex: Bah. Humbug.
Peridot: At this festive season of the year, Mr. Scrooge, it is more than usually desirable-
Chandler: -that we should make some slight provision for the poor and destitute, who suffer greatly at the present time.
Peridot: As you are a man of means, I am sure my friend and I can count on you-
Chandler: -to make a generous contribution, in the spirit of the holiday.
Both: What shall we put you down for?
Cortex: Nothing.
Peridot: Good sir! Disease and death haunt these houses. I assure you-
Chandler: -many would rather die than enter their doors.
Cortex: If they would rather die, they had better do it, and decrease the surplus population! Allow me to remind you, ladies, that it is a hard and unforgiving world. Those who make their way in it, do so by dint of labor... labor... damn, I forgot the rose for Jemoria! ><
Jemoria: *offstage* Fine, I'll go get my own... *storms outside*
This left some of the other cast members on the other side of the set scratching their heads.
Cortex: Now... where was I? Oh yes... what I have gained, I have earned with sacrifice and years of toil. I suggest you recommend to your poor petitioners that they employ themselves in a similar course of action. If you press me further, I tell you it is enough for a man to understand his own business, and not to interfere with other people's. Mine occupies me constantly. Good afternoon!
The two cats made their way to the main door. As they leave, they come across a small figure in a posh costume. Go figure... it's Thrash Bandicoot!
Peridot: If it is aught for charity you seek-
Chandler: -seek elsewhere. Here's none to be found.
Thrash: Indeed! I am sorry to hear that! Allow me to make a donation of my own - not so much as Uncle Scrooge might well spare, but something nonetheless! The best of the holiday season to you both.
Peridot: (shakes Thrash's hand) Thank you very much, sir.
Chandler: A merry Christmas to you, sir!
And so they left. Inside, however, Thrash took careful steps to reach Cortex at the other side.
Cortex: Merry Christmas! What right have you to be merry? What reason have you to be merry? You're poor enough.
Thrash: Come, then. What right have you to be dismal? What reason have you to be morose? You're rich enough.
Cortex: Fred! Keep Christmas in your own way, and let me keep it in mine.
Thrash: Keep it! But you don't keep it.
Cortex: Leave it alone, then. Much good may it do you! Much good has it ever done you!
Thrash: (ears lower) There are many things from which I might have derived good, by which I have not profited, I dare say. Christmas among the rest. But I am sure I have always thought of Christmas time as a good time: a kind, forgiving, charitable, pleasant time: the only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely, and to think of people around them as if they really were fellow-passengers to the grave, and not another race of creatures bound on other journeys. And therefore, uncle, though it has never put a scrap of gold or silver in my pocket, I believe that it has done me good, and will do me good; and I say, God bless it!
Throughout the speech, a yellow figure stepped inside, and listened in. At the end, he raised a headboard saying 'APPLAUSE', and the whole audience applauded wildly. They turned around, and saw the face... of James Dingo II.
Cortex: Let me hear another sound from you Cratchit, and you'll keep your Christmas by losing your situation. (to Thrash) You're quite a powerful speaker, sir. I wonder you don't go into Parliament.
Thrash: Don't be angry, uncle. Come! Dine with us tomorrow.
Cortex: Never. And why did you get married?
Thrash: Because I fell in love.
Cortex: Because you fell in love... ridiculous! Crachit! Show him to the door!
Thrash: I am sorry, with all my heart, to find you resolute. We have never had any quarrel, to which I have been a party. But I have come in homage to Christmas, and I'll keep my Christmas humor to the last. So a Merry Christmas, uncle!
Cortex: Out!
Thrash: And a Happy New Year!
The annoyance caused Cortex to give out a realistic lion growl. The door slammed in front of Thrash, causing James to quiver towards his desk.
Cortex: You, sir! You'll want all day tomorrow, I suppose? You think it only 'fair', I'll be bound.
James: It's only once a year, sir.
Cortex: 'Only once a year, sir?' A poor excuse for picking a man's pocket every twenty-fifth of December. Very well, go home, keep your Christmas. But mind you, be here all the earlier the next morning.
James: Indeed I will, Mr. Scrooge. Thank you, sir!
With that, James picks up his trenchcoat, and leaves through the front door, where his son Spike and the trenchcoat-wearing Setzer stood by the doors. When they met up together, they left. Zetzer remained on stage, with a spotlight on him.
*Nelly and Kelly Rowland - "Dilemma" is played on the piano at a light tempo this point*
Zetzer: Christmas Eve. The city clocks had just gone seven, and it was quite dark. Cold, bleak, biting weather. But winter's cold had little influence on Scrooge. No wind that blew was bitterer than he; no falling snow was more intent, no pelting rain less open to entreaty. He had made himself a sort of artificial winter that froze any that came near him, for it was his chief pleasure to walk alone amongst his fellow creatures, disdaining their pity or their ire alike. Nobody ever stopped him in the street to say, with gladsome looks, 'My dear Scrooge, how are you?' Even the blind men seemed to sense his presence and turn away. No man or woman ever once in all his life inquired the way to such and such a place, of Scrooge.
On stage, a long red haired wolarcoot goes on stage... OK, just to let you know, it's Serenity. She brought out her hands and stood in front of Scrooge.
Serenity: Have you a penny to spare, sir?
Cortex: *in a growling gesture* Get outta the road!!!
The sound frightened her off stage, and at the same time, Cortex walked off to the other side. Zetzer soon followed his lead as the curtains went down.
Backstage, there was a smell that suddenly started to linger around the room. In one corner was Crash, sitting and looking towards the door opening, and in his hands... was a fishing rod. Wakka sat right next to him, with Johnny, Lozzy and Tawna standing behind them. Nearby were two other figures - a dog and a duck. Crash brought in the attention of one of them.
Crash: Hey, Donald! How about you try and bring out the thread on one of your staffs?
He brought out a large purple staff, took out a piece of string dangling from it, and brought it out to Crash.
Crash: Thanks. *to the dog* Goofy! You got any cheese?
Without hesitation, Goofy tossed a cheese triangle towards Crash. He picked it up, tied the thread onto it and the rod and brought it back into the darkness.
Crash: Rubie... Rubie... here, I got you a slice of laughing crow...
With the rod, he slung it into the darkness.
Wakka: Come on, get it right ya? Chocobos don't eat cheese... and it's called 'Laughing Cow'.
Donald: Boys these days... first we chased the chocobo into darkness, now we're on about cheese? O.O
Goofy: Yu-hup! I prefer Edam myself! ^.^
Tawna: *grabs onto Goofy's ears and ties them in a bow* OK, now shut up before I fill your mouth with eau de toilette! ¬_¬
Goofy: No Tawna! Get off me!!!
Suddenly, the doors opened, and in came the stars of the first act. They all went round the corners, huddling into groups. Immediately, the seven of them took steps away from the action.
Zetzer: Mommy! Mommy! I loved narrating! I can't wait for the next act! *jumps up and down*
Thrash: Hey, I was better than you! Fred Scrooge obviously had more character than a dead geezer! ¬_¬
Zetzer: Leave my role alone!
Thrash: Not until you leave mine first!
They both ended up into a scrap, showing each others' fisticuffs in the smoke. Suddenly, two wolarcoots took them and separated them.
Wolarcoot 1: OK, break it up! *picks up Thrash*
Serenity: You leave your brother alone! *picks up Zetzer* Hey, er, Spin...
Spin: Yeah?
Serenity: I hope you button up your Slipknot top for the next part...
Spin: Thanks for letting me know. *buttons it up* And you didn't do a bad job either.
Serenity: Gee, thanks! A bit of a shame that my part seemed a bit... small...
Spin: Never mind. You can show your true colors in your next appearance.
In another corner, a group of cats got together and started talking to Peridot and Chandler.
Jemoria: You're gonna be seeing lights! Besides, you won't even be as good as me when I reach the stage...
Peridot: Hey, no fair! You've obvoiously ended up with-
Chandler: -a smaller part than we have, so no foul talk!
Jemoria: Hey, come on, I'm trying to be happy here!
Tamborina: What's the point? *leans on a wall* I don't even know why I'm here in the first place other than to be an old nanny. -_-
The three of them looked at her with suspicions in their eyes. In yet another corner...
Cortex: One act down, another four to go... *puts a wet cloth over his head*
Dalmatian: I see you've been having a bit of a rough time, have you?
Cortex: Possibly, how can you tell, Havok?
Havok: Do red faces mean a thing to you? I suggest you keep the cloth under your top hat to keep your coolness.
Cortex: Good idea. Otherwise, the kids will be painting my face and dressing me up as a red indian.
He walked away from the counter, took off the top hat and jacket, and placed on a nightshirt and a sleeping cap in their place. All that Havok could do was look in the mirror and spray his hair with a bit more lime hair spray. And finally, there came James, Spike and Setzer. Upon arrival, they saw Rubie's empty cage, and they came up to him with extreme anger.
James: CRASH BANDICOOT!!!
Crash: Uh-oh...
James: What did you do with my chocobo??? You're beginning to judge my patience!!!
Spike: Dad, no, please calm down...
Wakka: Lemme explain everything, ya?
~5 minutes later~
Setzer: What a tale... hey, I'll see if I can help to fish her out...
James: We'll at least give in a better try! You four! *points at Crash, Wakka, Donald and Johnny* You just go for the next act! We'll take care of the chocobo!
And so the four of them left. Tawna left too, and arranged them into an orderly fashion - Zetzer, then Cortex, then Crash and Wakka together, followed by a moogle (FF magical cat-fairy), Johnny, Jemoria, Donald, Spin and finally Cid. Once again, the set of them went off to the stage in an orderly fashion. Zetzer took his place back on the stool, and the curtains raised for the next act.
The lights shone down on Zetzer once again. He looked out at the audience ahead of him, tightened his muscles, and started speaking once again.
Zetzer: Scrooge took his melancholy dinner in his usual melancholy tavern, and having read all the newspapers and beguiled the rest of the evening with his banker's book, went home to bed. He lived in chambers which had once belonged to his deceased partner, Marley. They were a gloomy suit of rooms, in a lowering pile of building up a yard. It was old enough now, and dreary enough, for nobody lived in it but Scrooge, the other rooms being all let out as offices. Once inside, he closed his door, locked himself in, double-locked himself in, and sat down before the fire.
As Zetzer spoke his lines, Cortex emerged into the room dressed in a lavender nightgown and cap to match, and followed the exact actions.
Zetzer: It so happened that while he was reclining, his glance came to rest upon a bell, a disused bell, that hung in the room, and communicated for some purpose now forgotten with a chamber in the highest story of the building. It was with great astonishment, and with a strange, inexplicable dread, that as he looked, he saw this bell begin to swing of its own accord.
The bell struck. And at the sound, Cortex sat there, in a fronzen state. There was a moment of silence, then the clanking of chain was heard. At the sight, Zetzer steps behind and watches over them, as he saw a red haired figure, covered in flour, and carrying blitzballs in his hands. For all you non-Final Fantasy freaks... it's Wakka from the tenth game.
Wakka: No woman no cry... *doodedo-bop-bop-badada* No woman no cry!
Cortex: Who...who are you?
Wakka: In life I was the king of reggae, Bob Marley.
Cortex: Marley?!
Wakka: You don't believe in me.
Cortex: I don't. You're meant to be Jacob. -_-;
That caused him to blush anime-style. Then right next to him, Crash stormed onto the scene, dressed in a similar state to him.
Crash: OK, if you want Jacob, you got it, but why do you doubt your senses?
Cortex: Because a little thing can affect them. A slight disorder of the stomach makes them cheat. You may be an undigested bit of beef, a blot of mustard, a crumb of cheese, a fragment of an underdone potato. It's humbug, I tell you. Humbug!
Both 'ghosts' cry out with pain.
Cortex: Mercy! Dreadful apparition, why do you trouble me? Speak comfort to me, Jacob!
Crash: I have none to give.
Wakka: It comes from other regions, Ebenezer Scrooge, and is conveyed by other ministers, to other kinds of men. Nor can I tell you what I would. I cannot rest, I cannot stay, I cannot linger anywhere. My spirit never walked beyond our counting house-mark me!-in life my spirit never roved beyond the narrow limits of our money-changing hole, and weary journeys now lie before me.
Cortex: You must have been very slow about it. Seven years dead, and traveling the whole time.
Wakka: No rest, no peace. Incessant torture of remorse, ya?
Cortex: I would think you should have covered a great quantity of ground in seven years.
Crash: O, captive, bound and double-ironed - not to know that any Christian spirit working kindly in its little sphere, whatever it may be, will find its mortal life too short for its vast means of usefulness. Not to know that no space of regret can make amends for one life's opportunities misused! Yet such was I! Oh, such was I!
Cortex: Don't be hard upon me, Jacob, pray!
Crash: Know then I have sat invisible beside you many and many a day... I am here tonight to warn you, so that you may have yet a chance and hope of escaping my fate--
Cortex: You were always a good friend to me, Jacob.
Wakka: You will be haunted by three Spirits...
Cortex: Is that the chance and hope you mentioned? I think I'd rather not.
Wakka: Without their visits you cannot shun the path we tread. Expect the first when the bell tolls one, ya?
Both Marleys leave the scene.
Cortex: Couldn't I take them all at once, and have it over?
Crash & Wakka: Remember, for your own sake, what has passed between us!
The two of them started heading down to the orchestra area. As they walked past, they started smiling at the cast in line, and then at the moogle at the front.
Both: Good luck Mog.
Mog: Thankupo!
Then, Zetzer walked to the front as Cortex walked towards the window.
Zetzer: Scrooge followed Marley to the window, where he beheld a great crowd of spirits in the air. One ghost, he saw, hovered in a doorway and cried bitterly over a poor mother and her child, he could no longer help. Terrified by the vision, Scrooge returned to the darkness, to wait the coming of the first spirit Marley had foretold.
Soon after he finished, he went off stage, while the mad professor went back to the chair, and looked out to a clock on the wall.
Cortex: Quarter to.
A chime was heard.
Cortex: Ten to!
Another chime was heard.
Cortex: Five to.
The bell started to ring. And at the sound, a white flash started to emerge inside the room, through the window. A figure flew right through there, looking right into his eyes, with sapphire lightings through there. It also had a bright pink pom pom on its head, and bright blue wings. This caused him to gasp.
Cortex: The hour itself!!!
The figure started to float further down towards the bed, and eventually, its small feet landed gracefully. The scientist looked right up towards him.
Mog: I am the Ghost of Christmas Past, kupo!
Cortex: Long past?
Mog: No. Your past. Rise, and walk with me.
Mog lands on the floor, and does the Snowball Jazz dance. Within seconds, they arrived in a snowy field, near to a small hut. They both go inside, and see Johnny C drawing. There is a trunk next to him.
*Daniel Bedingfield - "Gotta Get Thru This" is played lightly on an electric piano at this point*
Mog: These are the shadows of things past, kupo. They cannot see or hear you.
Cortex: Why, it's just as I remember it! My old school room, you see, and there I am! How astonishing! But... the others have already left for the Christmas holidays.
Mog: But the school is not quite deserted yet, kupo.
Suddenly, a young girl walks inside the room. She was dressed in a school uniform, and she walked towards Johnny, with a smile on her face. That was the cat... we call Jemoria.
Jemoria: Why, Ebenezer! Won't you be going home for Christmas?
Johnny: I'm sure my father will send for me soon.
Jemoria: (sits down next to her) What are you drawing? Can I look at your book with you?
Johnny: It's about Noddle Boy and the coach driver.
---
The comic starts off with Donald Duck walking along happily... until Noddle Boy, dressed in Christmas gear, comes into view.
Noddle: I'm a mousey, gimme some cheese!
Donald: You! Why aren't you in the poor houses?
Noddle: Because I'm the surpreme of all mongooses! ^^
Donald: How strange... you wanna be smart?
Noddle: I want to break free!
Donald: *grabs his head and takes him into a stupidly drawn school* Right, extra homework tonight, blah blah blah, Daisy's the cutest...
Noddle: *finds a loose brick in the wall* I wanna play kickball! *takes it out*
Donald: SCROOGE, NO!!!
The schoolhouse collapses... and it ends with a goat dressed up as Santa.
---
At the end of looking at the comic, Jemoria started giggling. At the same time, Cortex's face stood frozen. A tear started to show on the size of his face.
Mog: I see a tear upon your cheek. Do you call that nothing?
Cortex: There was a girl in the street earlier... I should like to have given her something, that's all.
As they looked at each other with grim looks, Donald comes back in and looks at Johnny with a vicious look on his face. He went over, and picked up his trunk.
Donald: You'll not be going home this Christmas, little Ebenezer. Upstairs with you now.
Johnny: Perhaps there's been a mistake! I know my father--
Donald leaves, carrying the trunk in his hand. All that Jemoria could do was look at him with a worried look on her face.
Johnny: I don't mind so much. It's only Christmas. I don't care.
Jemoria: Cheer up, Ebenezer. It won't be long. Besides, you got your nailed bunny to take care of.
Backstage, Jessica brought back her voice, and yelled out at the top of her voice.
Jessica: Belle!
Jemoria: My coach! I must run and see Papa and Mama! I wish you could come spend Christmas with us.
As she leaves, she kisses Johnny on the cheek. Then she picks up her trunk and leaves.
Mog: She had a large heatt, kupo. Let us look at a later Christmas... Young Ebenezer is now a grown man, released from school into the world - his father dead. A promising, independent, young man with business prospects, and every hope of happiness before-
There was the sound of a bongo drum. Mog looked down at his costume, and saw... a drenched suit.
Mog: I think I was too nervous, kupo. Why did I have to sweat too much?
As he looked further along the stage, he saw a long chain of water leading right towards the kettle drum. It banged on it lightly. This caused Crash to leave the electric piano alone and look at the drums. Wakka was there sitting next to them, and with thought, he raised his hands and placed a cheeky grin on his face.
Wakka: No hands, ya?
Sooner or later, Mog casted Ice on the sweat stream, and took a light freeze on his body and a long icicle along the floor. Then he waves its hand again, and it takes them even further into the future, and at that stage, a few years pass. They end up in a lightened room, with two figures in view - Spin Wolarcoot, the bird-wolf-bandicoot Earth goddess, and Cid Highwind, the chain smoking forever cursing airship pilot from Final Fantasy VII.
Cid: It is but another bloody year, Belle! After waiting so long, surely one more year is no great thing-my apprenticeship is but lately finished, my investments still in doubtful state.
Spin: Another year, Ebenezer! When are we to be married?
Cid: Very, very soon, I promise you, my love. Only let us wait until we are sure of our @#%$ prosperity!
Spin: It cannot be. It was the same with you last Christmas, and the Christmas before.
Cid: But this year will be different! Mr. Marley speaks of setting up a money-changing business in the City, in which I am to be made partner!
Spin: Mr. Marley! Oh, he is a rare man.
Cid: He is a man of business, bitch! And a very good one with sound sense. I would do well to become such a man in the world.
Spin: I do not like him, Ebenezer. He has a cold heart, and an evil eye. Do not enter into this compact with him!
Cid: Mr. Marley has promised me an important position, and a half share of profits. Come now, he is not such a wicked man as you think. And if he is? I follow him but for my own gain-he has no sway over my heart, as you do, Belle. What of Mr. Marley, then? He shall but help us to make our fortune!
Spin: You are already more like him than you know.
Cid: Belle, I have hopes and expectations that will soon come to fruition, I am sure of it! Just another year that is all, and then I shall feel our happiness together is secure.
Spin: Our happiness? No, Ebenezer. I see too well, another idol has displaced me in your affections. Alas, if it can cheer and comfort you in time to come, as I would have tried to do, I have no just cause to grieve.
Cid: What Idol could displace you, Belle?
Spin: A golden one.
Cid: You find fault with me because I care for money. For the money to assure our happiness, our money, Belle! Oh, this is rich! This!--this is the even-handed dealing of this @#%$ filled world! There is nothing on which it is so hard as poverty; and there is nothing it professes to condemn with such severity as the pursuit of wealth.
Cortex: (to himself) Too true, too true.
As he said that, Cid stubbed out his cigarette, and started breathing at another.
Spin: You fear the world too much, Ebenezer. All your other hopes have merged into the hope of being beyond the chance of its sordid reproach. I have seen your nobler aspirations fall off one by one, until the master-passion, Gain, engrosses you.
Cid: What the @#%$? Even if I have grown wiser to the ways of the world, what then? I am not changed towards you, am I?
Cortex: Let us go. I wish to see another scene.
Spin: The contract of love between us is an old one. It was made when we were both poor and content to be so. You are changed. When it was made, you were another man.
Cid: I was a boy.
Spin: Your own feeling tells you that you were not what you are.
Cortex: *looks at Mog* So she's saying that I was a pig in my later youth?
Mog: Uh... technically yes, kupo! ^.^ Still, these are the shadows of the things that have been. That they are what they are, do not blame me.
Cid: Belle!
Spin: For the love of him you once were, I release you with a full heart. May you be happy in the life you have chosen!
In a rage, Spin left the scene. At the same time, Cid sat down, and smoked two cigarettes at once, with a grimmer look on his face.
Mog: Think on what has passed, kupo, and know yourself.
In a flash of light, we see a flash of light, and immediately, Cortex saw himself back on his chair. Immediately he brought his eyes out forward, out to the window again.
Cortex: I did right. I had no choice. Should we have married on no more than the expectation of riches? A family like Crachit's? Impossible. I made my fortune, could she have but waited. I was a boy, a fool to care for her. Enough! I will not think on it. And yet, my nephew, Fred... Poor Belle! No more. No more, I say! Were not three spirits prophesied me? What time is it now? Let me see. I must stay awake and keep a look about. Let them come. I have passed so far a strange and terrible night, and I doubt anything between a baby and a rhinoceros would astonish me.
The curtains dipped down, and so did the lights. It was at this time that the second act came to a close.
*Foo Fighters - "All My Life" starts playing at this point*
A cloaked figure stood outside the theatre. Its grey skin could easily be visible at this time. And as we look up, we see a dragon mage with long white hair and red clothing. This female went and walked carefully towards the front door, and immediately, she saw the ticket booth, blocking her way to the main room. She looked down at the prices for tickets - $2.00 for adults, $1.00 for children, $1.50 for OAPs and under 3s go free. She continued looking at them, until... she brought out a staff and smashed the turnstile in front of her off its hinges, giving her room to move. That caused her to storm past the popcorn stands, and make her way to the theatre itself. She can be seen... as Freya Crescent, of Final Fantasy IX.
*verse*
A long pathway was lied ahead of her, but it was filled with people queueing up for tubs of ice cream. Immediately she brought back her fists, and started pushing people out of their way.
Freya: COMING THROUGH!!!!
Her charges caused her to knock down the casts of Cats, Kingdom Hearts and Johnny the Homicidal Maniac all in one go! And at the process, she nabbed herself a tub of Carte d'Or chocolate and vanilla ice cream. On the way down, she started eating it, slopping some down her face.
*chorus*
She reached the edge of the stage, and while she was there she placed the tub in the bin, and climbed up. Once on the top, she crawled under the safety curtain and started running backstage. A long route filled her, and as she looked on both sides she saw the toilets, the door to the parking lot, and a dark room filled with costumes.
*music skips to finale*
And finally, there was a light at the end of the corridor. She kept on running, with aggressive speed and agility on her, and at some extremes she waved her staff in front of her to give her a boost.
*finish*
Back inside, Zephyr and Spike were at one of the tables, looking into each other's eyes, and then to the tape player that was playing the Millionaire theme tracks.
Zephyr: Okay Spike, here's your question for $2'000. *cough* Which superhero swung his way onto the big screen last year and saw a song on the soundtrack by Nickelback's Chad Croeger score success on single charts across the globe? Is it: A - Batman, B - Superman, C - Iron Man, or D - Spider-Man?
Spike: Hmmm... I don't know much music around here these days... I guess I'll go 50-50.
Zephyr: Okay, computer take away two wrong answers, leaving just the right answer and the one remaining wrong answer.
And in a flash, Zephyr took out two marker pens and deleted Superman and Iron Man from a question board behind him. Spike looked on at the board and raised both eyebrows.
Spike: I think I'll have to go for...
Freya: *storms in* SPIDER-MAN!
Spike: Freya! *looks at her* Why did you interrupt my question round? And also, why are you LATE?
Freya: It's not my fault I got bullied by Kuja on the way here... man, HE should have played as Scrooge, not Cortex!
Zephyr: Since when did Scrooge have long hair?
Freya: Good point.
At her talk, the stars of the second act arrived into the room. Immediately they branched out towards their friends.
Jemoria: Peridot! I hope you can't wait to get back, eh?
Peridot: Sure do! It's gonna be FUN FUN FUN!
Chandler: Hey! I thought I was meant to be the one who did everything with you Peri!
Peridot: Sorry... I'm too excited! ^_^
In another corner, Zetzer and Spin went towards Thrash, who was playing with a Britney Spears voodoo doll in one corner. At the sight of them, he dropped it onto a mouse trap, snapping its head off. He looked at Zetzer with strange eyes on him.
Zetzer: I take we have to return on stage together soon, eh? ¬_¬
Thrash: As long as you don't make a fool of yourself.
Spin: Hey, calm down, the pair of you! How about I give you both your peanut butter and jelly butties to make you feel better!
Spin gave them their sandwiches, and like magic, their faces lightened up. As for Crash, Wakka, Johnny and Donald coming back together...
Crash: Any luck with that chocobo?
James: I got her flying for the seed! Come on, come on!
With great care, he brought back the rod, and on the end of it it held a basket filled to the brim with bird seed. Out of there, Rubie flew out and hugged her owner. And James hugged him back.
Wakka: NICE ONE! Lozzy, go close the door, ya?
She brought back her hands and a blue-white glow emerged from her hands. It went onto the door, and the way in was covered via a large block of ice.
Donald: Phew... and this time, KEEP HER IN THE PEN! ¬_¬
Johnny: So? She ran off because of Lozzy's scary voice in the first place!
Lozzy: HOLD IT! Now, unless you act like civilised performers I will NOT accept arguments backstage! And I know that Tawna's the director, but she won't be happy either. Until then...
With surprise, Lozzy got out a boxing glove, placed it on her right hand and strongly struck Crash, Wakka, Donald and Johnny on their heads. As she walked away from them, the four of them collapsed in a pile, with dizzyness in their eyes, and flying boxing gloves and red chocobos above them. All that everyone else could do was look at them with total embarassment.
Even still, more and more people came through the doors to the dressing rooms. In one of the Easternmost walls came Cortex, and this time we see him trying to adjust the straps on his wooden leg extentions. Further behind him came Cid, looking red and full of relief.
Cid: Holy @#%$! I can't believe how STRESSFUL that part was! O_O
Cortex: I know exactly how it feels like... it would have helped if we locked the cigars away...
Cid: (sarcastically) Oh yeah, like that would do much, you cheap bastard... Why did Sora lock 'em up when filming Kingdom Hearts anyway? It's stress relief, I tell you... @#%$ STRESS RELIEF!!! O_O
Cortex: Hey, calm down, calm down! For the final act, I'll give you some chewing gum to chew upon.
Cid: What, and dance around blowing strawberry bubbles? Pfft, it's worse than bloody straw! ¬_¬
And so he left to a corner on the opposite side of the room. Once there he got out a cigarette and started smoking again. However, unknown to the scientist, a natural lioness came onto the room, with all four legs as fine as ever.
Lion: Don't panic too much. You and Cid didn't do bad at all in your roles in that act!
Cortex: (surprised) Nina? Wha... what are you doing talking to me?
Nina: I know how shocked you seem by me coming towards you offering my gratitude, but... hey, it's Christmas! ^.^
Cortex: I wish you were like that all year round though.
Nina: Who wouldn't? Well... *looks back at the others* Maybe Rexy, but heh, that's saying something right? ^_^
With that, all that he could do was force a smile. Back with the others, Sora was there, sitting down, with a depressed look on his face.
Rexy: Sora, please listen...
There was silence for a while. Then, his mouth started moving.
Sora: I can't go on like this...
Kairi: But why?
Sora: My character... it just doesn't seem like me...
Goofy: Aw, c'mon Sora! No sad faces, feel proud of yourself! You were like that when helping us find King Mickey! And I'm surprised he's in the audience tonight, yu-hup! ^.^
Sora: That may sound true... but... why did you let me be the ghost of Christmas Present? You know I can't be jolly, let alone peaceful...
Jessica: Remember what Goofy told you - no sad faces. *places arm round his shoulder*
Chain: Well if that's the case, YYOU have the death scythe and I be that forever laughing git!
Serenity: No! If you signed up for Christmas Future, then that's where you're staying! Chain, please...
Chain: I SAY NO!
With rage in his fists, he looked at the nearest person to him, being Mog. And with uttermost anger, he punched him to the wall.
Mog: KUPO! X_x
Chain: Come on Sora, all you have to do is walk around and point everywhere, simple as that! *draws out his scythe* Now come on, we'll swap positions.
Sora sat there and thought for a few moments. The temptation to calm his nerves for another act was fine, but what about Chain in his place? There was more silence for a second... until he made his choice.
Sora: I'd rather stick with what I got. *stand up, looking brighter* I came here tonight for a purpose! And I promised Leon that I'd never my homeland down! It doesn't matter which character I'm playing, it's as long as I have the strength and courage for it!
Throughout the whole speech, Chain's fur changed white with shock. He also dropped his scythe to the floor, his boney tail stood on end, and his pupils shrunk down to the size of flower seeds.
Chain: WHOA! O_O
Everyone started cheering on for Sora and his bravery. Even Kairi gave him a hug and smiled happily at him. That was until Tawna stood at the front once again.
Tawna: Okay, break over! Time we got ready for the third act!
*Zozo theme from Final Fantasy VI is played on cellos and violas at this point*
At a glance, everyone started queueing in an orderly fashion once again. First up came Zetzer, with peanut butter and jelly all over his muzzle. At the sight, Tawna gave him a tissue to wipe it off. From behind came Cortex and Sora together, the latter proudly holding his keyblade after what he rightfully did to Chain. Another group followed, in the form of Thrash, Kairi and Lioness together, holding hands and singing to 'Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer' in a three piece choir style. Next came Goofy and Peridot, both of which too anxious to even look at each other! Following them came James, Rexy, Silvia, Spike, Lozzy, Setzer and Freya, all together, holding each other's hands, with Rexy's shaking as mad as a large chunk of jiggly fruit. And right near the back came Donald Duck, walking all alone, and with a large plaster on his head. He looked back at Crash, Wakka and Johnny, all of which still out, with Nina looking over them, and with Rubie running around with her beak stuck inside the bird seed basket.
Tawna: OK, we're nearly halfway there! And let's keep the effort up! Go for it!
They all left the scene, and as they left they got applause from everyone surrounding them. They reached the stage, and Zetzer took the same stool and sat down on his place. The safety curtain raised once again, and a cold wind started to blow through him this time. His wings twitched, as he brung them back, ready for his part.
The lights blew even stronger down Zetzer's eyes. But somehow or other, that didn't stop him from thrusting his voice out to the crowd ahead. Behind him, Cortex was sitting on another wooden chair, with his fists shaking.
Zetzer: The hour was drawing close against which the coming of the second spirit had been foretold. Scrooge was on his guard, for he wished to challenge the Spirit on the moment it appeared, and did not wish to be taken by surprise.
There was a chime, followed by another chime, and the bell rang once again.
Zetzer: Now, being prepared for almost anything, he was not by any means prepared for nothing; and, consequently, when no shape appeared, he was taken with a violent fit of trembling.
Cortex: For God's sake, someone give me some bubblegum right now!!!
He left his chair furiously, but his eyes met with a bright figure, dressed in a jolly man's costume, and he had a keyblade in his hand. This was Sora, the guy that Cortex practiced with before the show.
Sora: Ho, ho, ho! Ebenezer Scrooge! Come, come closer, and look upon me! I am the Ghost of Christmas Present! Have you never seen the like of me before?
Cortex: Never!
Sora: Never walked forth with the other members of my family?
Cortex: I don't think I have. I am pretty sure I would have remembered it. No, I am afraid I have not. Have you many brothers and sisters, Spirit?
Sora: More than eighteen hundred to date!
Cortex: Eighteen hundred! A tremendous family to provide for! Spirit, conduct me where you will. If you have aught to teach me this night, let me profit by it. I went forth before upon compulsion, but I learnt a lesson, which is working on me now, and I am humbler than I was.
Sora: Come with me! Let us visit a Christmas Present of someone you know!
In a flash, Sora brought out his keyblade and stuck it down onto the floor. It caused a white flash on stage, and it all changed to the scene of a warm and cozy home. In one corner was Thrash, with Lioness and Kairi nearby.
Thrash: He said that Christmas a humbug, as I live! He believed it too!
Zetzer: Scrooge found himself in the home of his nephew, Fred. The walls and ceiling were hung with living green. Bright gleaming mistletoe and berries glistened, and such a mighty blaze went roaring up the chimney, as Scrooge's dingy house had never known. There were turkeys, geese, mince-pies, plum-puddings, red-hot chestnuts, cherry-cheeked apples, and seething bowls of punch, that made the room dim with their delicious steam.
Kairi: Oh, Fred!
Cortex: (aside) Is that my niece, Caroline? Very pretty girl. Exceedingly pretty girl.
Thrash: That's the truth, my dear! He's a comical old fellow, and not so pleasant as he might be. However, his offences carry their own punishment, and I have nothing to say against him.
Lioness: I'm sure he's very rich, Fred.
Thrash: What of that, Kitty! His wealth is of no use to him. He don't do any good with it. He don't make himself comfortable with it. He hasn't even the satisfaction of thinking that he's ever going to benefit anyone with it, for I don't expect we shall be in his will, my dear Caroline, no I don't expect so at all. *takes Kairi's hand*
Kairi: I don't know how you have patience with him, Fred.
Thrash: Oh, I am sorry for him. I couldn't be angry with him if I tried.
Cortex: (aside) A good-hearted lad, Fred.
Thrash: Who suffers by his ill whims? Himself, always. Here, he takes it into his head to dislike us, and he won't come and dine with us. What's the consequence? He loses a very good dinner, and some pleasant moments, which could do him no harm. I am sure he loses pleasanter companions than he can find in his own thoughts, either in his moldy old office, or his dusty chambers. I mean to give him the same chance every year, whether he likes it or not, for I pity him. He may rail at Christmas till he dies, but he can't help thinking better of it-I defy him to do so-if he finds me going there, in good temper, year after year, and saying `Uncle Scrooge, how are you?' If it only puts him in the vein to leave his poor clerk fifty pounds, that's something; and I think I shook him yesterday. But this is dreary talk for a Christmas party. Let's have a game!
Kairi: What shall we play?
The three of them started chasing each other round the room. During that, Zetzer came back on stage.
Zetzer: They played at forfeits, and blindman's buff. There was music, and Scrooge's niece played the harp-among other tunes, a simple little air, which had been familiar to the Scrooge as a child, and affected him greatly now. They all played a game of Cherades, which Scrooge joined in, wholly forgetting in the interest he had in what was going on, that his voice made no sound in their ears.
Thrash: No, no, no, no!
Kairi: Does it live in the country?
Thrash: No.
Lioness: Then it lives in the City. Is it kept in a cage or on a leash?
Fred: Ha! No.
Lioness: A live animal, an animal that growls and is of savage nature. Found in the City, but not kept in a cage or on a leash! Extraordinary. Is it a cat?
Thrash: No!
Cortex: A bear?
Kairi: Could it be a bear?
Thrash: No.
Cortex: It was a sound guess - excellent young woman. Very intelligent.
Kairi: Not a horse, or a cow, or a bull, or a tiger, or a dog, or a pig, or a cat, or a bear. And you say it walks the streets freely. Not made a show of, not housed in a menagerie, never brought to market. A rather disagreeable animal.
Cortex: Most perplexing.
Lioness: Does it talk, Fred?
Kairi: A talking animal?
Thrash: YES!
Lioness: Then I know, Fred, I know! It's a three headed monkey!
Everyone eyed at her suspiciously. Then she went in an uproar of laughter.
Lioness: Only kidding, it's your uncle Scrooge!
Kairi: *starts giggling with Lioness* Fred! For shame!
An anime sweat drop and an immediate jaw drop appeared on Cortex's face. Soon after that happened, Sora raised his keyblade.
Lioness: You might have said 'yes' to the bear...
Thrash: Well, he has given us plenty of merriment, I am sure, and it would be ungrateful not to drink his health! A Merry Christmas and a happy New Year to the old man, wherever he is!
Sora: We have more to see. Let us visit another Christmas, in another part of the City.
Sora brought out his keyblade, therefore causing a bright white flash around the stage. Meanwhile, a monstrous figure started tiptoeing around the back, and stood behind the queue of stars for the act. At the glance, Donald looked back at it. And at the sight of it, he gulped and quivered.
*Missy Elliot - "Work It" is played on bongo drums, acoustic guitars and violas at this point*
As Zetzer speaks his next line, the scene changes to the street, and townspeople enter alongside it.
Zetzer: Now the room, the fire, holly, mistletoe, turkeys, pies, pudding, fruit, and punch, all vanished instantly, and they stood in the city streets on Christmas day, where the people made a rough, but brisk and not unpleasant kind of music, in scraping the snow from the pavement in front of their dwellings, and from the tops of their houses. The house fronts looked black enough, and the windows blacker, contrasting with the smooth white sheet of snow upon the roofs and with the dirtier snow upon the ground, which last deposit had been ploughed up in deep furrows by the heavy wheels of carts and wagons into thick yellow mud and icy water. The sky was gloomy, and the streets were choked up with a dingy mist, half thawed, half frozen. There was nothing very cheerful in the climate or the town, and yet was there an air of cheerfulness abroad...
As Cortex and Sora walked together, the latter brought up his keyblade and shone it among the townspeople.
Goofy: A Merry Christmas to you, yu-hup! *bows in front of Peridot*
Peridot: A shame to quarrel upon Christmas Day.
Rexy: So it is. God love it, so it is. A Merry Christmas! (to four girls and a gambler in the street) Come along!
Seconds later, James walked onto the scene with Spike hanging onto his shoulder, talking to each other happily.
*bongo drum solo - drums start to slow down*
Cortex: (aside) Why, that's my clerk, Bob Crachit!
Goofy: *bows down in front of James* A Merry Christmas, Bob! And to you, young Tim!
Spike: Thank you, sir. God bless you, sir!
Cortex: How extraordinary!
*acoustic guitars start playing, but in the key of G sharp minor (if anyone out there knows their musical terms )*
Goofy and Peridot leave the scene. As they did, Cortex and Sora followed James and Spike home to a small house at the corner, and once inside, we see Rexy singing a song while setting up the table.
~Thank You (Dido)~
Rexy: My tea's gone cold, I'm wondering why I got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window and I can't see at all
And even if I could it'd all be grey, but your picture on my wall
It reminds me that it's not so bad
It's not so bad...
She brought out a dining cloth and brought it over the table. Then she straightened it carefully and placed the cutlery down.
Rexy: I drank too much last night, got bills to pay, my head just feels in pain
I missed the bus and there'll be hell today, I'm late for work again
And even if I'm there they'll all imply that I might not last the day
And then you call me and it's not so bad
It's not so bad...
As she reached the chorus she gracefully placed all the plates and cutlery down in an accurate motion.
Rexy: ...and I want to thank you, for giving me the best day of my life
Oh just to be with you, is having the best day of my life...
During the instrumental part, she placed a couple of small candles and placed them into a couple of small, old and dust-covered pots. Then, she brought out one of the glowing embers from the fireplace and used that to light the candles. They started to glow beautifully. She stood back, and smiled at it.
Rexy: Push the door, I'm home at last and I'm soaking through and through
Then you handed me a towel and all I see is you
And even if my house falls down now, I wouldn't have a clue
Because you're near me...
Within the last part, she brought out a bunch of flowers and placed them carefully into a vase.
Rexy: I want to thank you, for giving me the best day of my life
Oh just to be with you, is having the best day of my life...
Then, Silvia and Setzer ran onto the scene, followed by Lozzy and Freya. They all brought themselves onto their seats in an orderly fashion.
Rexy: I want to thank you, for giving me the best day of my life
Oh just to be with you, is having the best day of my life!
As she stopped singing, she sat down with the others. An angelic spotlight shone on top of them. And as that continued to occur, Cortex and Sora looked at them with awe.
A few seconds later, the front door opened wide. And in come a couple of familiar figures. The girls' eyes were widened immediately.
Lozzy: Father!
Rexy: Run and help your father off with his coat, Peter.
Setzer: *stands up and takes James's coat off, then looks at Spike* Merry Christmas, Tim! *takes his crutch away*
James: (to Rexy) Merry Christmas, my dear. (looks at the table and rubs his hands in expectation) And what have we here?
Rexy: Martha, help Tim to his seat. And now... the goose!
She leaves, and at the time, Freya stood up and brought a very pale and sick looking Spike towards his seat, careful not to hurt his legs. A few seconds later, Rexy steps back in, and brings in a cooked chicobo that was not any bigger than a hen. There is a moment of silence.
James: (making the best of it) You have outdone yourself, my dear.
Rexy: It was all-
James: It looks delicious, and sure to taste marvelous-- won't it, children?
Silvia: Hurrah!
James: *takes the 'goose' and gets a knife, ready to cut it* Let us give thanks, my dear, for this and our good Lord's many other gifts.
They all bowed their heads, and put their hands together.
James: For what we are about to receive on this blessed Christmas Day, may the Lord make our hearts truly thankful. *looks up at the children and smiles at them* And we are truly thankful, aren't we, children?
Freya: *raises hands in air* Yes, Papa!
James: We should have a toast! What shall we toast?
Setzer: The Blackjack, ante up!
Lozzy: To gamblers! ^_^
Rexy: The dudes who work on the pantomine every year! ^_^
Silvia: The goose!
James: The chef!
Freya: The dude who bought the goose!
Setzer: Er... who bought the goose?
Spike: Mr. Scrooge!
There was a moment of silence.
Rexy: Mr. Scrooge?
James: To Mr. Scrooge, the founder of the beast!
There was yet another moment of silence. Then there were thuds that started to echo on the scene. A green foot stepped out, and out... came Johnny, in a dinosaur costume!
Johnny: Did someone say 'beast'? Mwahahah! Joy to the world, the dogs are dead... ^.^ *gets out a scythe*
They started screaming as they all jumped down to the Orchestra level and started hiding behind various instruments... until Tawna took Johnny's hands and dragged him backstage. Then, the seven of them jumped back up.
Rexy: Mr. Scrooge the founder of the feast indeed! I wish I had him here. I'd give him a piece of my mind to feast upon, and I hope he'd have a good appetite for it.
James: My dear, the children. Christmas Day.
Rexy: It should be Christmas Day, I am sure, on which one drinks the health of such an odious, stingy, hard, unfeeling man as Mr. Scrooge. Oh, you know he is, Robert! Nobody knows it better than you do, poor fellow!
James: My dear... Christmas Day.
Rexy: *girly slaps across James's face* I'll drink his health for your sake and the day's, not for his. Long life to him. A merry Christmas and a happy new year - he'll be very merry and very happy, I have no doubt.
James: A Merry Christmas to us all, my dears. God bless us!
All: Merry Christmas!
Spike: And God bless us every one!
Back aside, the thoughts focused on a different matter.
Cortex: Tell me, Spirit, if Tiny Tim will live.
Sora: I see a vacant seat in the chimney corner, and a crutch without an owner. If these shadows remain unaltered by the Future, the child will die.
Cortex: No, no. Oh, no, kind Spirit, say he will be spared!
Sora: If these shadows remain unaltered by the Future, none other of my race will find him here. What then? If he be like to die, he had better do it, and decrease the surplus population! Man, if man you be in heart and not alone in shape, forbear such wickedness until you have discovered what the surplus is, and where it is. Will you decide what men shall live and what men shall die? It may be that in the sight of heaven you are more worthless and less fit to live than millions like this poor man's child.
In the background, Donald and Tawna go behind him in their costumes - Donald in his Halloween Town costume - a mummy - and Tawna in a torn pauper costume.
Sora: Look upon your children, ye hard-hearted man!
Cortex: (looks at the two of them) Mine, Spirit?
Sora: They belong to Man. Look upon them! Here they stand: yellow, meager, naked, wolfish. This boy is Ignorance. This girl is Want. Beware them both, but most of all beware this boy, for on his brow I read Doom for all Mankind if what is written here be not erased.
Cortex: Have they no refuge or resource, Spirit?
Sora: Are there no PRISONS? Are there no WORKHOUSES?!?!?
The bell rang again. At the sound of that, Sora, Donald and Tawna exit. This left Cortex standing there for a few seconds, and then he went down on his hands and knees, in total shock. The curtains close for the end of the third act.
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