A CRASHMAS CAROL
Meanwhile, backstage, there was yet another WWTBAM moment... as if we've had enough already... -_-;
Zephyr: You're at the $32,000 milestone, Nina. Now, get ready for another major question. *gaaasp* In The Lion King, James Earl Jones played the role as Simba. But which Star Wars character did he portray as nearly 20 years beforehand? Was it A - Darth Maul, B - Darth Vader, C - Darth Sidious, or D - Darth Bane?
Nina: Okay, so I knew it's Darth... something... it's not Maul or Sidious, because The Phantom Menace came out after The Lion King... er... I'll go ask the audience.
Zephyr: Okay, dressing room audience! I want you to see if you can help Nala on her question. A, B, C or D - all vote NOW!
The remaining people inside the room had sheets of card held out in front of them. They wrote on them, and ten seconds later, they revealed their answers, and they were all saying either A or C. Her eyes widened at the sight.
Nina: You've got to be kidding me... and it's NINA! ><
Meanwhile, the doors opened, and in came the cast of the third act. Immediately they branched back to their friends, and started smiling at each other. As Zetzer and Thrash returned to their belongings, they started giggling at each other.
Zetzer: YAY! I get a long break now! ^_^ *sits down on the floor* Hey Thrash, I'll take you on in the rollerball modes on Crash N-Tranced!
Thrash: YOU'RE ON!!!
They both got out their Game Boy Advance systems - Zetzer's being white, and Thrash's being black - and wired them together. They placed in their cartridges, and sat down together, playing against each other furiously. Meanwhile, there was a familiar blonde bandicoot in expensive garments, bending down at Crash and Wakka. Donald and Goofy went up towards them, and at the same time, Lozzy followed them there.
Donald: Got any news for Crash and Wakka yet?
Coco: *rests her hand on their heads individually* It may seem like they'll be out for no more than five more minutes... don't panic about a thing.
Goofy: I hope they work out okay during the next act... I hate to work so hard and trip at another hurdle!
Lozzy: Aw, calm down Goofy, just think about your part and everything will be fine.
His ears were brought into a knot, naturally. Then, he looked at Lozzy, with a thought of concern onto his face. However, back at the corner with Cortex and Havok...
Cortex: Okay, so now I have to go through another spiritual routine with a character that's quieter than Johnny's bunny...
Johnny: (from outside) I heard that!
Havok: I know how it feels like, so there's no need to panic about it as much. Let's face it - he was almost going to be the Ghost of Christmas Present at one time...
This caused him to stand still with an anime sweat drop down his face. However, with the cats, the four of them were looking right at Zephyr, trying to persuade the audience to vote for Darth Vader.
Tamborina: (sarcastically) Oh joy, looks like I have to play my part now... with the Regis tryhard... *leers at Zephyr*
Peridot: Aw c'mon, there's nothing wrong with him, as a matter of fact-
Chandler: -he's so cute, I wanna have him wrap his tail with mine! Oh my God! ^_^
Jemoria: A fox... and a cat? Together? That's something you don't see every day...
She started giggling herself. However, Chandler's face was filled with anger because of what she said. Through the door, Sora stepped in, with his keyblade lowered to the ground. He walked towards his group, with a smile on his face. At first sight, Jessica went up to him, and hugged him gently.
Sora: You guys were right all along! I really DID believe in myself! Buy the only problem is... *looks down* ...singing in the final act...
Kairi: We all feel as bad, but if you practice with me we'll improve.
Sora: Okay, I'll try... *cough* Doooo... reeee... miiiii... *gasp* Crawling in my skin, these wounds they will not he-al, fear is how I thought, confusing what is real!
Mog: I never realised that you were so into Linkin Park, kupo.
Mog started to smile at Sora, and he smiled back. Meanwhile, Lioness came prancing in, looking overhyped.
Lioness: Oh joy! Get ready for act 4 boys and girls! ^_^
Tawna: Oi Lioness, that's MY line. ¬_¬ Still, nice alerting.
This brought a whole line of people in front of the door for the following act. At the chance, Cortex stood nearest to the exit, catching his nightgown in the fireplace as he approached it. Then came Goofy, Nina, Coco and the Yamazaki siblings altogether.
Nina: I can't believe how long you spent in getting yourself dressed...
Coco: I don't know either. *looks down at her costume* I had to end up wearing the biggest costume in the book, right?
Nina faced her again, with a face of concern. Meanwhile, there was a queue outside the boys' toilets, with several people queueing up at once.
Rexy: Chain, will you please get out of there?
Chain: (from inside) NO!
Silvia: Come on! We need you for the fourth act!
Freya: Yeah, you're gonna be a star!
Setzer: Sure you may not speak at all, but you'll be cool, ante up!
Spike: Come on, the sooner you get out of there, the sooner I can wash my claws!
Tamborina: That's it... I'm in myself! *goes in and pulls Chain out by the collar* Chain, I thought I told you to get on stage, you lazy bum!
Chain: But I'm not scary enough! I should have let Johnny deal with it!
Tamborina: He's too busy killing himself... now get on like the fox you are! *grabs him on the hood*
Chain: Hey, mind the hood! It's 100% delicates! o.O
The two reached the queue, and stuffed themselves in. Then came Freya, the Gabbianis, and James's family, minus Spike, who came in and started petting Rubie in the far corner. Tawna reached the far corner, and raised her hand in the air. At the sight, the stars of the forth act went straight onto the stage area. Over there, the stage itself was covered in darkness. With careful precaution, Cortex emerged onto there, went straight in the middle, and brought himself down onto his hands and knees. A white spotlight shone on top of him. The curtains started to raise, and this meant the start of the longest act to occur.
The scene reopened in the old bedroom again. The spotlight continued to shien brightly, as he was there, looking up towards the window, with a worried expression on his face.
Cortex: Spirit? Do not leave me, Spirit!
*Modest Mussorgsky - "Night on Bald Mountain" (taken from the Fantasia OST) is played at this point*
Behind his back, a long black cloak appeared. Red hair can be seen on the demon's face. He stepped further into the spotlight, and leered down at him. It was the face... of Chain Bandicoot.
Cortex: Heavens! What comes here? *looks at Chain in the face* Am--am I in the presence of the Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come?
At the response, Chain pointed his finger.
Cortex: You... are about to show me shadows of the things that have not happened, but will happen in the time before us. Is that so, Spirit?
Silence went. And Chain made no indication.
Cortex: Ghost of the Future! I fear you more than any specter I have seen. But, as I believe your purpose is to do me good, and as I hope to live to be another man from what I was, I am prepared to bear you company, and do it with a thankful heart. Will you not speak to me?
Chain pointed his finger up ahead.
Cortex: Lead on! Lead on! The night is waning fast, and its precious time to me, I know. Lead on, Spirit!
The third spirit pointed ahead, and that caused Cortex to look out into the streets from his window. On the scene are several business people on the street.
*music fades out*
Cortex: I know them! Excellent people of business.
On the streets themselves, the five business people had different thoughts on the matter.
Jessica: No, I don't know much about it, either way. I only know he's dead.
Nina: When did he die?
Coco: Last night, I believe.
Goofy: Why, what was the matta' with him? I thought he'd neva' die.
Havok: *shrugs* God knows.
Nina: What has he done with his money?
Havok: I haven't heard. Left it to his company, perhaps. He hasn't left it to me, that's all I know.
Coco: It's likely to be a very cheap funeral, for upon my life I don't know of anybody who will go to it.
Goofy: I don' mind goin', if a lunch is provided.
Nina: Yeah, bring on the fresh antelope!
Jessica: Hmm... Well then, it's quite impossible, for I never wear black gloves, and I never eat lunch.
Coco: Cold, isn't it?
Havok: Seasonable for Christmas time. You're not a skater, I suppose?
Jessica: Who do you think we look like, Torvil and Dean?
Goofy: No, yu-hup! Well then... good mornin'!
The five business people shake their hands, and exit. This left a curious face on Cortex's face.
Cortex: What is the meaning of this, Spirit? Of whom do they speak?
*Elton John - "Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word" is played on piano at this point*
In a glance, Chain pointed back inside, most preferably onto Scrooge's bed, where they saw the figures of Tamborina and Zephyr, walking around the room. The sight of them brought in a pale face on the scientist's face.
Cortex: (aside) But that's my room! What are these horrible people doing here?
Chain waved out his finger in front of him. Then, the two figures spoke.
Tamborina: What I say is every person has a right to take care of themselves. He always did, Lord knows!
Zephyr: Ah, now that's true indeed, Mrs. Dilber. True indeed. No man more so, and that's a fact.
Tamborina: Why, then, we shall help ourselves, and who's the wiser? He's no worse for the loss of a few things like these.
Zephyr: No, indeed, Mrs. Dilber.
Tamborina: If he had wanted to keep 'em after he was dead, the wicked old screw, why wasn't he natural in his lifetime? If he had been, he'd have had somebody to look after him when he was struck with death, instead of lying there, gasping out his last, alone, by himself.
There was a look on Cortex's face looking like he just had two days before his head falls off, plus the pupil shrinking.
Zephyr: That's the truest word that ever was spoke, Mrs. Dilber. It's a judgment on him.
Tamborina: You open that bundle, old Joe, and let me know the value of it. Now speak out plain.
Zephyr: I always give too much to the ladies. It's a weakness of mine, and that's the way I'll ruin myself... Nah! What do you call this? Looks to be... bed curtains!
Tamborina: Ay! Bed curtains!
Zephyr: You don't mean to say you took 'em down, rings and all, with him lying there?
Tamborina: Yes I do, and why not?
Zephyr: You were born to make your fortune and you'll certainly do it, Mrs. Dilber.
Tamborina: I certainly shan't hold my hand, when I can get something by reaching it out, for the sake of such a man as he was, I promise you, Joe. Careful now, those be his blankets.
Zephyr: His blankets?
Tamborina: Who else's do you think? He isn't likely to take cold without `em, I dare say.
Zephyr: I hope he didn't die of anything... catching, eh?
Tamborina: Don't you be afraid of that. I ain't so fond of his company that I'd loiter about him for such things, if he did. Ah! You may look through that shirt till your eyes ache, but you won't find a hole in it, nor a threadbare place. It's the best he had, and a fine one too. They'd have wasted it, if it hadn't been for me.
Zephyr: What do you call wasting of it?
Tamborina: Putting it on him to be buried in, to be sure! Somebody was fool enough to do it, but I took it off again. Ah, this is the end of it, you see! He frightened everyone away from him when he was alive, to profit us when he was dead!
Upon the last few words, the scientist took a few steps back, and eventually leant his back towards the window. That whole procedure hosted a phenomenal amount of fear.
Cortex: The case of this unhappy man might be my own, I see. My life tends that way. I shall not forget its lesson, but let's leave this place of death!
*music stops*
The lights went down on Tamborina and Zephyr, and they come up on the bed. A body lies there covered by a sheet. However, an arm is seen poking out. The third spirit points at it.
Cortex: Dreadful Specter, what would you show me? No, let us leave, Spirit, this fearful place. In leaving it, I shall not leave its lesson, trust me. Is there not one person in this great City who feels some sympathy and pity at this wretched man's death? Is this the end of all then? Oh let me see some tenderness, or this dark chamber will forever haunt my vision!
A bright flash occurred, and the scene changed to the home of the Crachits. Rexy and the children were seen at a table, the former spending her time sewing. At another corner, Setzer is reading from a bible.
Setzer: 'And He took a child, and set him in the midst of them.'
Rexy: The color hurts my eyes. There, they're better now again. It makes them weak by candlelight; and I wouldn't show weak eyes to your father when he comes home, for the world. It must be near his time.
Setzer: Past it rather. I think he's walked a little slower than he used to, these few last evenings, mother.
Rexy: I have known him to walk, to walk with-
While they were speaking, the pair of them went further into the darkness, and looked at a chair in the corner. A crutch stood there alone. Then, that meant a face of fear onto the scientist's face.
Cortex: Oh heaven! Tiny Tim!
There was a deep feeling of grief on his face, as he looked at the mourning family nearby.
Rexy: I have known your father walk with Tiny Tim upon his shoulder, very, very fast indeed.
Freya: And so have I, often!
Silvia: And so have I!
Rexy: But he was very light to carry, and his father loved him so, that it was no trouble - no trouble.
The door opened, and in there came James, looking rather disappointed and upset.
Rexy: And there is your father at the door.
Lozzy: *looks at him* Don't grieve, father!
James: I wish you could have gone, my dear. It would have done you good to see how green a place it is. But you'll see it often. I promised him that I would walk there on Sundays... *sniff* My little, little child! My little child... *wipes his face with a handkerchief* I happened to come across Mr. Scrooge's nephew, just today in the street, and he said to me, `I am heartily sorry for it, Mr. Crachit, and heartily sorry for your good wife. If I can be of service to you in any way,' giving me his card, `that's where I live.' Now, it wasn't for the sake of anything he might be able to do for us, so much as for his kind way. It really seemed as if he had known our Tiny Tim, and felt with us.
Rexy: I'm sure he's a good soul.
James: He is indeed. I shouldn't be at all surprised, mark what I say, if he found Peter a situation.
Rexy: Only hear that, Peter.
Silvia: And then Peter will be marrying and setting up for himself!
Setzer: Get on with you!
James: As likely as not, one of these days, though there's plenty of time for that. But however and whenever we part from one another, I am sure we shall none of us forget poor Tiny Tim, shall we?
Freya: Never, father!
James: And I know, I know, my dears, that when we recollect how patient and how mild he was, although he was a little, little child, we shall not quarrel among ourselves, and forget poor Tiny Tim in doing it.
Setzer: No, never, father.
James: I am very happy. I am very happy.
Chain gestured once again, and another white flash occured, for yet another change of scene. In the meantime, the family looked at a stool in the corner, with a wooden crutch, standing all alone.
The scene reaches a graveyard. A dark chilling wind started to evoke around the area, and the leafless trees blew effortlessly. With more panic on his face, Cortex looked over at Chain with a more concerned expression than ever.
Cortex: Spirit of the Future, I have been considering what I have been shown this night, and by the Spirits of Christmas Past and Present, and I am thinking of putting into practice some changes in my life. Let me behold what I shall be, in days to come.
Chain points over at a foggy area of the graveyard. All four eyes appeared to widen.
Cortex: My counting house is yonder... Where are you taking me?
*'Fragments of Sorrow' (taken from Kingdom Hearts) is played at this point*
The mist started to spread out. A thunderclap was heard in the distance, and the wind started to blow a lot harder.
Cortex: Merciful God! What is here?
No sooner than he said that, Chain brought his scythe over at a gravestone, buried deep in the ground.
Cortex: Does this belong to the wretched man of whom those people spoke?
All that chain could do... was keep his scythe on top of the gravestone.
Cortex: I see, by your gesture, that you wish me to approach and look upon his grave.
And at that point, the scientist carefully made his steps towards the grave. But, his legs started to shake. At one chance, one of his legs fell off the stilts, and he carefully placed it back on with great care.
Cortex: (starts hesitating) Before I draw nearer to that stone to which you point, answer me one question, kind Spirit... Are these the shadows of the things that will be, or are they shadows of the things that may be, only?
There was no response.
Cortex: Men's courses foreshadow certain ends, which if they persevere in, will come to that end. But if the courses be departed from, the ends will change, is that not so? Oh Spirit, say it is thus with what you show me now!
Chain's focus remained on the tombstone. As they both looked at it, their hair were blown fiercely in the wind.
Cortex: I see you wish me to know the name of this poor, unhappy man, who died without a soul who mourned his passing.
With a morbid look on his face, he approached the gravestone. And at the sight, the mist started to clear out. And just when he thought he'd be sympathetic for him, he saw the name upon the stone - Ebenezer Scrooge. His own gravestone.
Cortex: No, Spirit! Oh, no, no, Spirit! Hear me! I am not the man I was. I will not be the man I must have been but for beholding this! *light quivering gasp* Why would you show this to me, if I am past all hope? Good Spirit, your nature intercedes for me, and pities me. Assure me that I yet may change these shadows you have shown me by an altered life! I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all year long. I will live in the Past, the Present, and the Future, the Spirits of all three shall strive within me. I will not shut out the lessons that they teach. Oh, tell me I may sponge away the writing on this stone!
*music finishes*
During the last few sentences of his talk, the lights started to turn a brighter white, and they shone even brighter than ever. The curains went down, and even from there the bright light was seen. Soon, it all faded out.
Backstage, everything was quiet. The only musical sounds that could be heard was the level music from Thrash and Zetzer's GBAs. In another corner, Kairi was sitting on a rickety stool, looking down to the floor, with her hands shaking terribly. She turned to Sora, and expressed her emotions.
Kairi: Sora... I feel so nervous...
Sora: It's OK, don't panic about a thing. As long as you think of your home, you'll cope just fine.
Kairi: Are you... are you sure about all this?
Sora: Trust me.
Kairi: I... I believe in you, as much as you believe in me...
The two of them smiled at each other. But the peace was disrupted when the stars of the fourth act all stepped inside. Immediately, we follow Cortex to a water filled basin in its corner.
Cortex: I can't sing, I can't sing, I can't SING! >< *dips his face in the basin*
Havok: Awww, calm down myte... you're not all that bad. Seriously, the writer's been through a lot worse.
Sheesh, don't get me involved...
Cortex: *brings his head out* Seriously Havok, I sound like Vinnie Jones on a bad day if I show my vocal chords... o.O;
Havok: No you're not. You're great the way you are.
The two of them looked at each other for a few seconds. And then, they exchanged curious glances at each other. Meanwhile, in another corner, Chain tossed his scythe on the floor and sat down on a small stool.
Chain: There. I've done my part... now can I give it up now? X_x
Tamborina: No, not when you get the flags ready for the next act!
Chain: Of course, the flags... and I have to get the pink one... -_-;
Sora: *from a corner* Well that serves you right for not trading positions with me!
Chain: Who says you can join in the party, key dork?
Tamborina: Easy Chain, don't go too far in the-
Without any more thought, Chain brought out his fists, and took hold of Sora's collar, lifting him up to his height. Then, there was the sound of spraying. He turned around, and saw Jessica spraying on it.
Chain: Jess! What are you doing?
Jessica: Bleaching your flag, what else?
Chain: Tawna worked hard on it, you expect me to get kicked out because of this?
Jessica: No, I'm only doing this just to make you happy. I hope it works.
She put the spray away, and Chain looked at the flag - it was changed from pink... to red. And with that, he smiled viciously. Back with Crash and his lot, he and Wakka were sitting up with bandages on their heads. Then, they looked up at Goofy, whom just came in.
Goofy: I see you've fully recovered, eh Crash?
Crash: Aye... and you can tell how many pills it took to clear the headache... X_x
Goofy: er... what you mean by that?
Donald: He took too many. Won't it damage his health?
Johnny: No way! I took three times as much as he did, and I still haven't been affected yet! Now, which pitiful soul is ready to be slaughtered down? Mwaha...
He took a butcher's knife, and saw a Christina Aguilera doll in a corner. Without second thought, he went up to it and sliced it to bits, including her bits.
Wakka: 'Still hasn't been affected yet', he says? What about his lust for homicide, ya?
Donald: That was something else, you big palooka.
Wakka: Oh...
Meanwhile, Nina and Coco came in together, laughing happily.
Nina: That was so scary doing that one scene together, eh?
Coco: I know about that! I haven't been on the big stage in ages!
Nina: Neither have I, so that's the pair of us complaining! ^.^
Coco: Heh, you got a fair point there!
Cid: Oh will the pair of you @#%$ shut up already? I've had enough girly @#%$ heads for the night! -_-;
Cid walked off, with a cigarette in his mouth, and as he did so, the two girls looked at them with angry looks on their faces. At another corner, Zephyr sat alone, but that was until Peridot and Chandler came near him.
Zephyr: Well... there goes my significantly short role...
Peridot: Awww, don't feel bad about it-
Chandler: There's still the next act to show your light!
Zephyr: But that's a wimp's role!
Peridot: But looking at it this way, you cute little lover boy...
Chandler: ...you'll be more than happy to stand near that succulent piece of turkey!
Zephyr: Turkey eh? Whoa, let's hope my cravings don't kick in...
Unfortunately... they did. A thought bubble popped up above him, showing a large juicy turkey, with all the garnishes and stuffing. At the very thought of it, he started drooling like there was no tomorrow, and he also picked up a comb and stuffed it inside his mouth!
In another corner, James was sitting on a stool, looking faint. The rest of the 'Crachits' looked over him, with faces of deep concern.
Rexy: James, you don't look too good... are you sure you'll be able to go through to the final act?
James: I'll be fine... really...
Setzer: Seriously, we're only concerning from your health. How about we bring you a glass of water? Maybe that could help.
James: Thanks... although I'm not really sure if it might help or not...
Silvia: Awww, don't feel that negative, dad... we're only doing the best for you, you gotta believe us!
Spike: Silvie's right! If you don't come with us for the final part, then who knows what will happen!
Freya: Besides, you got a major part on your sleeve, and it's time you showed your true colors! Come on!
James: I'll thank you for this if it works...
With that, James forced a smile, and that caused everyone else to smile back. Meanwhile, Thrash and Zetzer were having the time of their lives on their gameboy duelling... until...
Zetzer: YAY! I win again! ^.^
Thrash: No way! I tagged you in the last second!
Zetzer: What, were you too slow for me or what?
Thrash: SHUT UP FOR GOD'S SAKE!!!
Zetzer: Slowpoke, slowpoke! You can't catch me, na nana na na!
Thrash: SHUT UP!!! Sheesh, you're DRIVING ME CRAZY!!! You know I can't get stressed before a big role! Thanks to you, I'm gonna mess up my lines in the singing scene!
That caused Thrash to bring up his fists towards Zetzer... but it was stopped when Spin came over and picked him up, and placed him in his arms.
Spin: No you're not, you're gonna do well for your mummy, Thrash. *hugs him*
Thrash: Ugh, cootie stuff... -_-;
Spin: Oh... sorry... *lets go* Well... at least you'll do some pride for us, Zetzer!
Zetzer: Heh, mind if I drink your blood? *bites Spin*
Spin: O_O Ouch...
Serenity: Take it easy Spin, I'll try and help you heal up...
Spin: Try if you want, but the poison will linger me...
Serenity: Give it up already, it's cobras that poison you, not vampires!
But Spin didn't pay attention to the call. Instead, she sat down, with a light smile on her face. Meanwhile, Lioness and Jemoria were in a corner learning their lines...
Lioness: Sinatra was swinging, all the drunks they were singing, we kissed on the corner then... er... line?
Jemoria: We kissed on the corner then danced through the night! Come on, is your memory slipping?
Lioness: I hope not!!!
Jemoria: Well, here's a pointer from me if you want to do well in the next scene - think that you're in another world. You'll sing best in there.
Lioness: I hope you weren't the one who spied on me in the shower the other night...
Jemoria: No I didn't! *pause* I spied on Johnny. ^_^*
That caused Lioness to stand there, shocked, with a large anime sweat drop down her faec. Then, Tawna stood up front again.
Tawna: Okay, break's over! Time we got ready for the final part! And yeah, I know you're worrying about it, but face it - whether you're singing, dancing or waving the flags, I still want you to get out there and perform well! Go for it champs!
*Utadu Hikaru - "Simple And Clean" (PlanitB remix, instrumental) is played at this point*
With great enthusiasm, a whole storm of people walked up front. First came Cortex, for the second time, then came Serenity, and Rexy, and Chandler, and the two brothers Thrash and Zetzer together, still punching each other brutally. Then came Lioness and Kairi, walking in, holding hands with each other and smiling, followed by the five 'ghost' actors - Crash, Wakka, Mog, Sora and Chain, linking hands like a chain itself. James then stood alone, with Spike walking right behind him, and then came everyone else in any old random order. Tawna stood up front again, and grabbed hold of the doorknob.
Tawna: Final act... boy has time flown! O_O Well, let's keep on going like this!
The door was opened once again, and the people stormed out and headed straight for the stage. Once there, Cortex saw something on stage that he never saw before - a door, and a bed. That caused him to run back, and five seconds later he returned with the businessman outfit from the first act. He walked up towards the bed, jumped onto it, and placed the clothes out of sight. The curtains were about to rise, and the lights shone down on him. Quickly, he took hold of the covers, and dived inside, with only one of his wooden leg extentions sticking out. The curtains were raised, and this meant the start of the final act.
The church bells start ringing out loud, bringing in a pleasant tune to the people. The lights come up on Cortex, and in a dazed look, he sat up from his bed, and looked around him. He jumped up, and saw some townspeople down there. His eyes were raised at the sight.
Cortex: Can it be...? *gestures at Serenity* You there! I say, if you please.
Serenity: Me, sir?
Cortex: Yes, yes. *breathes in deeply* Sweet fresh air, heavenly sky! Oh, glorious. Glorious! What's today, my fine fellow?
Serenity: Today? Why, today is Christmas Day!
Cortex: I haven't missed it! The Spirits have done it all in one night. Of course they can-they can do anything they like! (to Serenity) I say, do you know the Poultry shop, in the next street but one, at the corner?
Serenity: I should hope I did!
Cortex: An intelligent girl! Remarkable girl! Do you know whether they've sold the prize turkey that was hanging up there? Not the little prize turkey, the big one?
Serenity: What, the one as big as me?
Cortex: Delightful girl. A pleasure to talk to you. Yes, my lass!
Serenity: It's hanging there now.
Cortex: Is it? Go and buy it. No, no, I am in earnest! Go and buy it. Oh, and this is for you, eh?
He tosses a coin down to the floor, and immediately Serenity crouched down, and picked it up. She exited the scene, running with a happy face.
Cortex: Must get ready for Fred's party! I hope he'll let me in to dine with them after all!
In a flash he returned to his room, picked up his clothes, went into a door, and re-emerged in his jacket and top hat.
Cortex: I'll send the goose to Bob Crachit's! He shan't know who sends it. It's twice the size of Tiny Tim!
With excitement, he jumps out of the window into the street. By surprise, he saw Rexy. On the sight, he took of his hat and bowed down in front of her.
Cortex: Good morning! And a merry Christmas!
Rexy: (taken aback) And a merry Christmas to you, Mr. Scrooge!
With a more keen expression, he saw Chandler walking down the street, and immediately ran out in front of her.
Cortex: My dear lady. How do you do? It sends a pang across my heart to remember what I said to you yesterday in my office.
Chandler: Mr. Scrooge?
Cortex: Yes, that is my name, and I fear it may not be pleasant to you. Allow me to ask your pardon. And will you have the goodness to put down my contribution of... *whispers in Jeanie's ear*
Chandler: Lord bless me! My dear Mr. Scrooge, are you serious?
Cortex: A great many back-payments are included in it, I assure you. Will you come and visit my office tomorrow?
Chandler: I will!
With a lot of heart, he gestured out at Chandler and winked at her. Then from behind, Thrash came running on the scene and saw what was going on.
Thrash: Why, bless my soul! Uncle Scrooge!
Cortex: *turns round to him* It is I, Fred, your uncle Scrooge. I have come for dinner. Will you have me up?
Zetzer: (aside) Have him up? It's a mercy he didn't shake his arm off!
There was laughter from the audience. At the same time, Cortex and Thrash leave together. And as Zetzer speaks, the townspeople exit gradually.
Zetzer: Dear heart alive, how his niece started when Scrooge was brought up! But she recovered herself instantly and Scrooge was invited in. Nothing could be heartier.
*lights start going up, and the scene changes to Fred's home. Piano starts playing the intro for Kirsty MacColl and the Pogues - "Fairytale of New York"*
Zetzer: She was just as Scrooge remembered her, and so was the jollity, and the music, and the games, at which Scrooge seemed to have a special knack for guessing correctly. Wonderful party, wonderful happiness, wonderful Christmas!
Three shadowed figures stood on stage, with a fourth on a chair on stage. All of which seemed equally familiar, as soon as the chaired figure stood up and faced the audience, with the spotlight down on him.
Cortex: It was Christmas Eve babe, in the drunk tank,
An old man said to me, won't see another one,
And then he sang a song, The Rare Old Mountain Dew,
And I turned my face away and dreamed about you...
Got on a lucky one, came in eighteen to one,
I've got a feeling this year's for me and you,
So happy Christmas, I love you baby,
I can see a better time when all our dreams come true!
In the background, the flag bearers stood, holding theirs, letting them float gently in the wind. Chain held the red one, Crash had green, Wakka had Yellow, Sora held the blue one and Mog held the white one. The lights spun around, and fireworks bursted out.
*beat kicks in*
The flags were waved around much more vigorously, and some of the cast members went in the background and danced behind them. On the stage itself, Lioness walked out of the shadows and went up to Cortex for her verse.
Lioness: They've got cars big as bars, they've got rivers of gold,
But the wind goes right through you, it's no place for the old;
When you first took my hand on a cold Christmas Eve,
You promised me Broadway was waiting for me!
You were handsome...
Cortex: You were pretty, queen of New York City...
Both: When the band finished playing they howled out for more!
Lioness: Sinatra was swinging, all the drunks they were singing,
We kissed on the corner then danced through the night!
Both: The boys of the NYPD choir were singing 'Galway Bay'
And the bells were ringing out for Christmas day!
Lioness left the scene tap dancing to the pan pipe solo. Around her, the people started clapping her hands at her, and once she reached the shadows, Thrash leapt out from there and got ready for his verse.
Thrash: You're a bum, you're a punk!
Cortex: You're an old slut on junk
Living there almost dead on a drip in that bed!
Thrash: You scum bag, you maggot, you cheap lousy faggot,
Happy Christmas your arse, I pray God it's our last!
Both: The boys of the NYPD choir were singing 'Galway Bay'
And the bells were ringing out for Christmas day!
During the violin and viola harmony section, Thrash skipped through the flags, and performed all sorts of stunts through there before heading back into the darkness. From there, Kairi walked out for her side of the deal.
Cortex: I could have been someone...
Kairi: And so could anyone,
You took my dreams from me when I first found you...
Cortex: I kept them with me babe, I put them with my own
Can't make it all alone, I've built my dreams around you...
During the run up, Kairi made a run up to the scenery, ran up the walls, onto the ceiling, back down, and as she headed down she jumped up onto a pole and slid down as she sang.
Both: The boys of the NYPD choir were singing 'Galway Bay'
And the bells were ringing out for Christmas day!
During the lengthy ending, Lioness and Thrash emerged, and they soon started immitating small kids running around and playing tag. Even in one instance, Thrash even picked up a ball of confetti and tried to toss it at the pair of them, but... it broke apart as they came near him. They started laughing into his face, and that was when he took out a fluffy bauble from the Christmas tree and hurled it at them. The girls giggled back, and continued to 'snowball fight' with them. As that happened, the lights started to fade out, and the dancers left the scene one by one. A few silhouettes moved around, and that was until the spotlight was brought onto the stool again. Empty.
*orchestra finish playing*
The empty space was soon filled, when footsteps were heard, and Zetzer took his place onto the stool.
Zetzer: But he was early at the office next morning. Oh he was early there, for he had set his heart on being there first, and catching Bob Crachit coming late! And he did!
The lights went up on Cortex, as he sat in a stool, looking out towards the door.
Zetzer: The clock struck nine. No Bob. A quarter past. No Bob. He was full eighteen minutes and a half behind his time. Scrooge sat with his door wide open, so that he might see him come in.
In a flash, James stormed through the door, with his hair sticking up, and gasping for breath. At the sight, Cortex's face returned to its angry self.
Cortex: Mr. Crachit! What do you mean by coming here at this time of day?
James: I'm-I'm very sorry, sir, very sorry. A bit behind my time.
Cortex: You are? Yes, I should say you are. Step this way, if you please.
And so he did.
James: It's only once a year, sir. It shall not be repeated. I'm afraid I was making rather merry yesterday, sir.
Cortex: Were you indeed, sir. Now, I'll tell you what, Mr. Crachit, I am not going to stand for this sort of thing any longer. And therefore, and therefore, I have decided to raise your salary!
There was an expression of shock upon James's face. His pupils also shrank down to the size of an ant.
James: Mr... Mr Scrooge? Sir?
Cortex: A merry Christmas, Bob! A merrier Christmas, Bob, my good fellow, than I have given you, for many a year! I'll raise your salary, and endeavor to assist your struggling family.
Throughout the whole thing, James's eyes widened even more.
James: I don't understand, sir...
Cortex: I have a great many things in mind, Bob. I understand you have a young man in your household in need of a position, and that your child, Tim, is in need of medicines. We will discuss your affairs this very afternoon, over a Christmas bowl of smoking bishop.
As he went through it all, James's face still looked rather bewildered. His jaws dropped... then they were brought into a smile.
James: Thank you, sir!
Cortex: Well, come on then! Make up the fires, and buy another coal-scuttle before you dot another 'i', Bob Crachit!
The two were brought into a hand in hand walk offstage... but at the same time, a feathered figure arrived near the others. It flew up onto the stagelights above, out of view from the audience. And at this point, Crash and Wakka looked at each other - it was the figure that was Rubie.
Crash and Wakka: Uh-oh...
The pair of them left the stage immediately, and headed over to a ladder hanging over a wall. Sooner or later, Crash jumped up and started climbing it, but Wakka's face was still full of concern... however, just for the heck of it, he climbed up there too, starting to shake vigorously from the tip of his nose all the way down to the soles of his feet.
Wakka: I don't think that climbing up is a good idea... one of us could get hurt, ya?
Crash: Oh, what do you know? I've been in more dangerous scenarios than this. I've fought against several villains, took hold of a jet pack and even barely got eaten by venus fly traps! O_O
Wakka: So? I fought SIN.
Crash: SIN... is that all you think about?
Wakka: uh... ya huh...
They reached the top, and looked out ahead. Rubie was just a couple of fairy steps from a red stagelight.
Crash: Thar she blows... now if we get the timing just right, we should be able to bring her back in easily.
Wakka: er... Crash...
Before he could say any further, Crash balanced himself on the beam between him and the red chocobo. Behind him, Wakka did the same, but he was filled with concern.
Wakka: I still don't think this is a good idea...
Crash: Shut up.
Wakka: Do you think that a single bar could support us? I'm sensing a shaky feeling about this...
Crash: Shut up.
Wakka: By the feeling of this on your toes, one of us has to go on a diet, ya?
Crash: SHUT UP!!!
This caused the beam to start shaking. And this meant a whiter shade onto Wakka's skin.
Wakka: Now you've done it, ya?
Down below, the scene shifts over to the Crachits' home, where Spike and Setzer both went up to Cortex, whom arrived through the door, and introduced them to James again. They shook hands, and started gesturing at the two of them, whom both looked at them with smiles on their faces. The narrator and townspeople come in behind them.
Zetzer: Scrooge was better than his word. He did it all, and infinitely more. And to Tiny Tim, who did not die, he was a second father. He became as good a friend, as good a master, and as good a man, as the good old world knew. Some people laughed to see the change in him, but he let them laugh, and little heeded them, for he was wise enough to know that nothing ever happened on this globe, for good, at which some people did not have their fill of laughter. His own heart laughed, and that was quite enough for him. In later days, it was said of Ebenezer Scrooge, that he knew how to keep Christmas in his heart all year round. May that be truly said of all of us. And so, as Tiny Tim observed...
A spotlight went up on Spike, as he brought his voice back for the infamous end line.
Spike: God bless us, every one!
The audience started applauding at this point, and in the audience, Yuffie stood up and tossed some flowers onto the stage, therefore influencing most other people there to toss flowers on for them. But... it was suddenly interrupted by a *CRACK!* and a *croak*!
Cortex: RUN FOR THE HILLS!!!
With panic, everyone started running offstage and down to the audience level for safety. A pin fell to the floor, followed by a stagelight.
*BAM!*
And then, the whole beam came down, sending the curtains right over it and the background falling on top of that. There was silence. It started shaking, and from out of there came Wakka, whom dashed offstage straight away, and then came Crash. He looked around at the audience, which were all looking at him. He took a pace back, and spoke in an embarassed tone.
Crash: er... sorry...
The outisde of the theatre was nothing more than a bright spotlight down onto a white platform on a street. The whole cast met up there, and once there, Crash was brought into the centre of the whole circle, where she came face to face with Tawna. The looks on her face were redder than her lipstick, therefore making Crash shake as he looked up at her face to face.
Tawna: Crash, I really pity you for what you did during the last scene.
Crash: But Tawna, I-
Tawna: Sure you may be my boyfriend and all, but that does NOT give you the right to turn a formal production to unite worlds together into a three ring circus!!!
Crash: But Rubie flew on top of the-
Tawna: I shame you for that... because of this, you will be deprived of your Christmas bonus, and all your decorations will be deprived as soon as you get home! UNDERSTOOD?!?!?
He gave out a light gulp. Meanwhile, aside from it all...
Cortex: You know what? I think she should have had the part of Scrooge...
Havok: I can surely imagine it... Ben Scrooge as a transexual. ^_^*
This caused some people surrounding him to snigger. But not James, as he stood bravely, and blocked Crash from Tawna.
James: If you want to pick on my friend so badly, then you should deprive me of my family's bonus as well.
Tawna: But why?
James: Because Rubie is my chocobo, and a loyal companion to Rexy, Silvia and Spike. *points at the three, standing in a corner* If you want to deprive him of his Christmas spirit, you can take a hold of us!
Lozzy: He's right! *walks in front of James* I was the one who pushed him into the darker regions of the theatre in the first place... me and my big mouth... -_-; So you have to take mine as well.
Setzer: But why? We need it, Lozzy!
Lozzy: Better here than blowing it all in the Golden Chocobo Casino.
Setzer: Dammit... -.-
Then more and more people came onto Crash's side, protecting him from this scenario. Tawna's eyes widened with fear, as she continued to look at Crash... whom was being supported by many of the others.
Crash: So facing it that way, we ALL had problems with Rubie. So, basically saying, we should all be deprived of our bonus, but our spirit will live on. We don't need the money.
This caused her to sweat with panic. It even started to trickle down towards her shirt, which she tried to cover with her large blonde hair. And then, she spoke.
Tawna: *sigh* Never mind... I got a better idea. You guys keep hold of your bonuses, and hopefully some of Santa's helpers will come repair it tonight while he goes around the world sending his presents.
Crash: Are you sure?
Tawna: Uh-huh, I got his phone number. ^^
Everyone fell over with anime sweat drops on their faces. Seconds later, everyone made their last goodbyes towards everyone, and it was very exceptional for Crash and Wakka.
Crash: Wakka... we did brilliant together...
Wakka: Sure thing... although we had a few mess ups here and there...
Crash: Of course we did, after all that, that's the last time I'm starring alongside a person with a Jamaican costume...
Wakka: What, was there something wrong?
Crash: It said you were to play as Jacob Marley, not Bob! O.O
Wakka: I was only trying to liven things up, ya?
Crash: Never mind about a thing... you did just well.
Wakka: Awww, Crash... I'm gonna miss you for this...
The two were brought into an emotional hug together. At Crash's side, his tears trickled down onto Wakka's sleeve, while Wakka's went down his furry arm. Then, they brought themselves up together, and looked at each other for one last time.
Tawna: Right, it's time we got leaving.
Sora: But the bonus you gave us... it's not even my currency.
Tawna: Don't panic about a thing Sora. It'll be converted as soon as your feet touch down on your home world.
Sora: Thank you Tawna.
Tawna stood in the most northernmost part of the 33-figure circle. And once there, everyone held their hands like a star, with the exception of Rubie whom went underneath James's legs. Underneath them, a white glow occurred, and something started to drift them higher into the sky.
Crash: In the words of Michael Barrymore... "Goodnight and God bless!"
*Utadu Hikaru - "Simple And Clean" is played at this point*
The figures were lifted even higher, and even that caused Rubie to try and hover up towards her owner. Most of them started letting go after five seconds, but Crash and Wakka... however... held on for longer, exchanging friendly glances back, before letting go themselves.
*scene flashes, and fades as soon as the first verse starts*
{Johnny is seen back in his room, pinning up his nailed bunny onto a blood smeared wall. After a while, he placed a piece of tinsel around its waist, stood back, and started smiling back at it.}
{In the seaside area of Figaro, Silvia and Spike were seen running together, with Rubie leading the pair of them. The two ran past James and Rexy, whom both looked at them with pure joy on their faces.}
*chorus*
{Chain brings his chisel into the walls of Hell, scratching as hard as he can. At one instance, he looked back at the cauldron of Hell (where people's souls are burnt), with a sign on saying 'Closed for Christmas'. Then he turned back and cut the walls a bit more. In the end, he stood back, looking at "Van Gogh's Bedroom In Flames".}
{The Yamazaki siblings ran together, among a race track, trying to playfully push each other out of the way. They all started laughing at each other as they kept on training.}
*2nd verse*
{In a back alley somewhere, Jemoria, Peridot and Chandler were hunting in trash cans, and the former was lucky enough to pick out a frozen turkey from one of them. The two others smiled at her. But up above, Tamborina looked down at the turkey, and with an evil look on her, she brought out all her claws, ready for attack.}
{Zezter ran around in his home wearing a mongoose costume, and all that Thrash could do was stick his carving knife into another voodoo doll, this time of Nick Carter from the Backstreet Boys. Somehow, Zetzer ran straight into him, causing Thrash to sling his doll into Spin's face, whom in turn tossed it into the fireplace, where it burst into flames.}
*chorus*
{Sora, Goofy and Donald ran down the streets of Traverse Town, greeted by everyone they rushed past into a large parade, with flashing lights hovering above them, and confetti raining from the sky.}
{Cid, however, spent his time behind the wheels of the Highwind, which was decorated in silver tinsel, and this time he stood there smoking from cigars instead of cigarettes as he drove!}
*bridge*
{Setzer and Lozzy went into the Golden Chocobo Casino, and immediately, Setzer placed in a nickel into a one arm bandit. With lots of luck, he got three 7s, and ended up with a pile of money spilling onto the floor! He jumped up and down at this point, happy, and all that Lozzy could do was look at him with a 'how childish' look on her face.}
*chorus*
{On two individual clifftops, Lioness and Nina emerged on both sides, and during the wet and rainy storm beneath them, they gave out proud roars to each other, like in the end of The Lion King.}
{On Destiny Islands, Kairi held a wooden sword as Wakka hurled blitzballs right at her. Similar to a baseball bat, she hit it back towards Wakka... but it ended up hard in the groin area, causing him to fall over with wide eyes. All that Kairi could do was blush with an anime sweat drop down her face.}
*bridge repeated twice*
{Serenity sat on a mountain, and in front of her was a bible. From there, she read out loud the Nativity story. And at the end of it all, a white flash went down to her. That caused her to look up to the sky, with a halo attached to her head.}
{Mog returned to the Caves of Narshe, whom was greeted by all the other moogles inside. He jumped up and down, and got a series of chanting and cheering as well as being lifted up into the air, having the time of his life.}
*outro*
{Freya walked out into a forest somewhere, with a spear dangling near her. Somehow, she started climbing up a tree and as soon as she reached the top, she looked out to the distance. It was a golden sunset looming right ahead of her.}
*scene flashes white*
And the scene switched back to N. Sanity Beach, where Crash, Coco, Cortex and Tawna all stood hand in hand, looking out to the pink sunset across the sea. Then, they started dispersing from the scene one by one, for all that they happened to know was that a venture like that had become a powerful performance to be reknown for life, not just for Christmas.
*music stops, and the scene fades to black. At this point, the credits run alongside Queen - "Bohemian Rhapsody"*
Credits -
Jess Harnell - Johnny C ('Young Ebenezer Scrooge')
Danni Minogue - Rexy ('Mrs Crachit')
Corey Taylor - Chain Bandicoot ('Ghost of Christmas Future')
Alicia Moore - Jessica Yamazaki ('Belle's mother')
Chris Steele - Zephyr Yamazaki ('Old Joe')
Susanne Blakeslee - Tamborina ('Mrs Dibler')
Shaun Fleming - Zetzer Bandicoot ('Charles Dickens')
Haley Joel Osment - Sora ('Ghost of Christmas Present') and James Dingo II ('Bob Crachit')
Clancy Brown - Dr. Neo Cortex ('Ebenezer Scrooge')
Vinnie Jones - Cid Highwind ('Teen Ebenezer Scrooge') and Dr. Neo Cortex {singing voice}
Chester Bennington - Setzer Gabbiani ('Peter Crachit')
Anna Kumbly - Lioness Cougar ('Kitty Scrooge') and Kairi {singing voice}
Christy Carlson Romano - Silvia Dingo ('Belinda Crachit')
Hayden Panettiere - Kairi ('Caroline Scrooge')
Angelina Jolie - Tawna (Director/'Ignorance')
Seth Adkins - Thrash Bandicoot ('Fred Scrooge')
David Spade - Crash Bandicoot ('Ghost of Jacob Marley')
Dee Bradley Baker - Wakka ('Ghost of Bob Marley')
Leanna Creel - Lozzy Gabbiani ('Theresa Crachit')
Molly Keck - Peridot and Chandler ('Charity workers')
Tress MacNeille - Jemoria ('Young Belle')
Jodi Benson - Serenity Wolarcoot ('Pauper')
Tony Anselmo - Donald Duck ('Coachdriver'/'Want')
Bill Farmer - Goofy ('Businessman 1')
Kelly Osbourne - Spin Wolarcoot ('Belle')
Sean Schemmel - Havok Yamazaki ('Businessman 2')
Cam Clarke - Spike Dingo ('Tiny Tim Crachit')
Kath Soucie - Mog ('Ghost of Christmas Past')
Kathryn Beaumont - Freya Crescent ('Martha Crachit')
Neve Campbell - Nina Lion ('Wealthy lady 1')
Vicki Winters - Coco Bandicoot ('Wealthy lady 2')
Songs -
Frank and Nancy Sinatra - "Something Stupid" (The World We Knew, 1967 Reprise)
Abba - "I Have A Dream" (Voulez-Vous, 1979 Polar)
Dido - "Thank You" (No Angel, 2000 Cheeky)
Vanilla Ice - "Ice Ice Baby" (To The Extreme, 1990 Capitol)
Eminem - "Lose Yourself" ('8 Mile' OST, 2002 Shady Records)
Nelly and Kelly Rowland - "Dilemma" (Nellyville, 2002 Universal)
Bob Marley and the Wailers - "No Woman No Cry" (Natty Dread, 1975 Tuff Gong)
Foo Fighters - "All My Life" (One By One, 2002 RCA)
Missy Elliot - "Work It" (Under Construction, 2002 Elektra/Asylum)
Linkin Park - "Crawling" (Hybrid Theory, 2001 Warner Bros)
Modest Mussorgsky - "Night on Bald Mountain" (Pictures at an Exhibition/Night on Bald Mountain, 1990 Sony)
Elton John - "Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word" (Blue Moves, 1976 Rocket)
Kirsty MacColl and the Pogues - "Fairytale of New York" (Galore, 1995 Virgin)
Utaru Hikaru - "Simple And Clean" ('Kingdom Hearts' OST, 2001 Toshiba-EMI)
Queen - "Bohemian Rhapsody" (A Night at the Opera, 1975 Parlophone)
Special thanks -
James Dingo II
Lozzy Gabbiani
Spin Wolarcoot2
Priestess Sillabub
Lioness Bandicoot
Vector Yamazaki
Kuja the Dark One
Anonymous
Kitty Coot
SpGotenz8767
CKC ShadsKat
Auron the Homicidal Maniac
'A Crashmas Carol' is c/o Ms RexRock 2002.
Based on the novel 'A Christmas Carol' c/o Charles Dickens 1843.
'Crash Bandicoot' and all related characters are c/o Universal Interactive Studios 1996-2002.
'Johnny the Homicidal Maniac' is c/o Jhonen Vasquez/Slave Labor 1999-2002.
'Kingdom Hearts' characters (Sora and Kairi) and 'Final Fantasy' characters (Mog, Setzer, Cid, Freya and Wakka) are c/o Squaresoft 1994-2002.
Donald Duck and Goofy are c/o Disney 1934-2002.
Chain Bandicoot, Spin Wolarcoot, Thrash and Zetzer Bandicoot are c/o Spin Wolarcoot 2002.
Tamborina, Jemoria, Peridot and Chandler are c/o Priestess Sillabub 2002.
Jessica Yamazaki is shared c/o Vector Yamazaki and Ms RexRock 2001-2002.
Havok Yamazaki is c/o Vector Yamazaki 2002.
James Dingo II, Silvia Dingo and Rubie are c/o James Dingo II 2002.
Lioness Cougar, Nina Lion and Serenity Wolarcoot are c/o Lioness Bandicoot 2001-2002.
All other characters are c/o Ms RexRock 2002.
All music used are c/o their respective companies. All rights reserved.
~~~
The scene shows Crash's home, on Christmas Day. We see Crash himself, playing on his own Game Boy Advance, Coco watching a DVD version of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, and Tawna applying a lot of makeup to her face. But that was until... the doorbell rang.
Coco: *pauses the DVD* OK, who is it now?
Crash went up to open it, and in came a human icycle, in the form of Cortex. His head and sleeves were covered in snow, and the looks of that caused the mighty bandicoot to raise an eyebrow.
Crash: Say, why don't you come inside and we'll fetch you some eggnog to warm up with.
Cortex: Thanks... C-C-Crash... *shivers teeth*
He emerged inside, and took his face by the fireplace, and that was where he brought his hands out, and warmed himself up.
Tawna: So, you got anything nice from Santa?
Cortex: Well, it's more like minor gifts here and there, but the main thing was a set of weapon upgrades.
Tawna: Awesome! You gotta show us them sometime!
Cortex: Depends on two factors - whichever schemes for world domination I have in mind, or whether my wife wants to take me out to dinner.
Tawna: Somehow, I wish you were more like Crash... only smarter. ^_^*
Cortex: Now there's a thought...
Crash went in with the eggnog, gave it to Cortex, and sat down with him.
Crash: Okay, so what did you come for?
Cortex: It's bad news. Some annonymous poster sent in a message saying that we need to return to the same theatre after twelfth night for another charity event, for money to help repair the damage from last night!
Crash: And what is it that they want us to do?
Cortex: Promise not to panic?
Crash... nodded lightly, with his hands shaking. Then the truth was revealed.
Cortex: It's a Valentine's Day production of Moulin Rouge.
That caused Tawna to end up dabbing the lipstick on her tongue as she gasped, and Coco to scream her head off. Crash looked towards the camera, and had an odd glance at it.
Crash: Can someone finally add an ending to this now? o.O
*black 'curtain' pulls down the screen*
THE END
*blank screen*
Site map -
A Crashmas Carol - part 1
Back to My Masterpieces
Back to My Masterpieces part II
Back to the Main Menu
Add-ons Ahoy!
Links to other sites
