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THE FRIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS

Episode 1 – An Unexpected Shock

Scene: An area of the Crash Archipelago, all bright and sunny
Music: Kylie Minogue and Jason Donovan – “Especially For You” (Intro to first chorus)

The area around the island seemed bright and beautiful, with all the wildlife in the area getting on with each other. Little armadillos and turtles ran together in perfect harmony, and all the native birds flew across the area tweeting happily. But as all this was going on, a feminine figure came onto the road. As she walked at a strolling pace down the road, all the animals moved out of her way. She eventually showed her face in the sunlight, showing herself as a very familiar dingo. Daphne Dingo. As she looked on at the sun, she had a smile on her face. This was paradise.

(Music turns instrumental)

Voice: Hey Daphne!

She turned in that direction, seeing a black male figure coming towards her. His face can’t be seen.

Voice: Say Daphne, how about you and me both get it on. You’re the foxiest lady I’ve ever met!
Daphne: But… how do you know my name? I’ve only just known you!
Voice: It doesn’t matter! I have had a heart for you since you came into this world. Now let’s get on up!!!

She was grabbed by the collar and dragged up to the sky…

(Music stops)

…and then the visions in front of her blurred away and changed into her shanty bedroom in Cortex Castle. She looked up and saw her crewmate Copper Oxide, holding her on the collar of her nightgown.

Copper: Hey Daph – I wanna open my presents now! I’m too excited!!!!!!!! ^_^
Daphne: Hoo boy… look – it’s two in the morning, and I think Santa Claus hasn’t come yet.
Copper: Awww… :(
Daphne: I know you seem sad, but all this should wait. Now go back to bed and he’ll come for us.
Copper: (lets go) OK…

[Music restarts – Artful Dodger – “Think About Me” (Intro instrumental)]

She went back to her bed, and as that happened, Daphne laid down again. She didn’t close her eyes – she starred into space. In her head were horrific thoughts of being left alone. She sighed, and rose out of her bed.

(Image blurs into the next day. Music fades out)

Birds were seen tweeting on the trees as the dawn quickly came. Footsteps can be heard downstairs at this time, and as we see the back, it’s seen as Copper. She approaches a CD player, and slips in one of her favourite music discs.

(CD Player plays Bob The Builder – “Mambo No. 5”)

She turns up the volume to the loudest and clearest she can get, and starts jumping up and down.

Copper: (bails out) IT’S CHRISTMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS!!!!!!!!!!!

She starts dancing to the music by doing cartwheels across the floor, and within seconds, Madison Brio and Sui Do Ken came across to her.

Copper: YAY! I’m glad you came…
Madison: Copper, can you please turn the music down? It’s six in the morning!!!
Copper: (turns the music down) Er, sorry… :o
Sui Do Ken: It’s OK. Good thing we know that it’s just typical of kids these days. (laughs)
Copper: I guess so!!! (turns the music back up a bit) Can I open my pressies now???
Madison: I think, but we can’t start without Daphne.
Sui Do Ken: Ever since you’re that excited, I gotta go check on her.

[Music restarts – Dusted – “Always Remember To Respect And Honour Your Mother” (Skip intro)]

She rushes upstairs into Daphne’s bedroom, and as she opened the door a tip full of Heat Magazines fell on her feet. She kicked them out of the road. Then… she saw an empty bed, and a piece of scrap paper. She picked it up, and saw a message.

“To the rest of the Star Katz…

I’m afraid that I have left your group. There is something that I am missing right now, and I’m on the hunt for what it is.

Hope you understand,
Daphne
xxx

P. S. I still love you guys as much as heck right now. I’ll never forget you.”

Sui Do Ken: (shocked) Oh… my… gawsh!!!

She ran straight towards the door, but slammed herself on the wall, tearing off a poster of Eminem as she fell down.

(Image blurs again, and the title screen shows across some sort of desert. Throughout the following sequence, the opening credits roll alongside Linkin Park – “In The End”.)

A female figure can be seen running across the desert, carrying a backpack and two suitcases, and as the camera zooms in she can be seen as Daphne. Struggling to make a successful carry she trips up a few times. On the second verse she starts panting, and pulls a string on her backpack, taking off the brown covering and showing a jetpack. She started it off and made a long flight across the skies, towards her new destination. She went through a few clouds, all with a variety of shapes, and at one instance she came out with white candyfloss! At the time the middle 8 starts, she lands at a harbour, and sees a sign reading –

CROSS-ISLAND BOATS TO THE MAINLAND

ONLY AU$2.50 A RIDE!!!

WE ARE OPEN ALL YEAR EXCEPT CHRISTMAS DAY

Ignoring the sign, she jumps over the gate and hops in a rowboat, and starts making her way across to the mainland. The final chorus comes in by the time she leaves the harbour, and when the song finishes she sees herself coming closer and closer to the mainland.

(Song finishes and credits finish. Scene changes to Sydney Harbour)

As she approaches the gates for the harbour, she noticed that they were still open! So she went through the gates and jumped out onto the rather vacant streets of Sydney.

Daphne: Hmmm… so who cares if wherever I got to is a tad too quiet – that won’t stop me from finding paradise.

[Music restarts – Gorillaz – “Tomorrow Comes Today” (Instrumental). There was a voice that sounded like 2D from the Gorillaz (!)]

Voice: Are you seeking for paradise, my sweet?
Daphne: (looks around) Who… who’s there?
Voice: Let me deal with the answer to your problems.

The figure brought out a grey and furry hand from the shadows, and brought his index finger in a “come over here” motion.

Daphne: Oh well… at least that’s better than nothing.

She runs into the shadows and sees a black shadow among the trashcans. Immediately she stepped towards him and took a look down at him.

Daphne: Right sir…
Voice: What is your problem?
Daphne: I need someone to love. I’ve been in a bad world beforehand, and I hope I can find a better atmosphere here.
Voice: All at the right place, my friend. Let me deal with the matters.

[Music changes – Redman and Adam F – “Smash Sumthin’” (Intro instrumental)]

Then a dark hand grabbed her by the ankle and made her fall to the floor. She started to scream her head off. He eventually took her down into a manhole, and closed the lid securely. What does this black figure have in store for her? And if he has anything, will this lead to something bad or good?
*******************************
Episode 2 – A Romance Interrupted

Scene: A room back in Cortex Castle
Music: Energy 52 – “Café Del Mar” (Michael Woods remix, right from the start)

Among the background of powder blue fabric, one young hand came from the right, and a second came from the left, with a golden ring in possession. It slipped it on the index finger of the right, and went off the screen.

(Camera follows the hand as it goes further up)

The hand can now be seen higher up in elevation, and is level with the face on its body – Gadget Medulla, all dressed up in a white nightgown and sitting in a four-poster bed. She glared at the ring, and smiled.

Gadget: Oh, thank you so much – it’s beautiful!!! :)

She made a loving glance to her right, seeing Dr. Neo Cortex in the same bed as her. Within the time, he smiled back.

Gadget: This is just sooooooooooo unbelievable… er, where did you get it?
Cortex: Gadget, I have a confession to make.
Gadget: (takes the ring off) Go on. Tell it me.
Cortex: I must confess… that we will be getting married soon.
Gadget: (gasps and screams for joy) THANK YOU FOR THE WEDDING RING!!!!!!!!!
Cortex: You’re welcome, but it’s not a wedding ring – it’s an engagement ring. We are now legally partners.
Gadget: Well that’s just as great!!! Thank you for that wonderful present!!! (hugs him) I feel that you need a good stocking filler from me too!
Cortex: And what would that be?
Gadget: You know you want it.

Both of them had their arms on each other’s shoulders, and brought each other close together. They brought their lips together ready to kiss when…

(Music stops)

SLAM!

The doors to the chamber were slammed open, and in came Sui, looking panic stricken. Both of them turned in her direction.

Sui Do Ken: Guys! We have some bad news in sector 9! And please put some clothes on – I don’t want to see your night wear.
Cortex: Well I was about to ask the same question to you.
Sui Do Ken: (looks at her loosely hanging dressing gown) Good point. (tightens it up, and then comes into the room) Anyhow, we have received some shock news over at our area this morning. Daphne Dingo… is missing.

Both of them responded with a gasp.

[Music restarts – Zero 7 feat. Sia and Sophie – “Destiny” (Photek remix, intro)]

Sui Do Ken: We have searched up and down the castle for her, but all we found was a little message from her. (passes it to Gadget)
Cortex: What does it say?
Gadget: Just hang on – within the hour of waking up I can’t read without my glasses. (picks them up and puts them on) Right… (reads it) “To the rest of the Star Katz…” No fair - they didn’t include us!
Sui Do Ken: Maybe she barely knows you guys.
Gadget: (sarcastically) Ooh, I’m flattered. (continues reading) “I’m afraid that I have left your group. There is something that I am missing right now, and I’m on the hunt for what it is. Hope you understand, Daphne. Kiss kiss kiss. P. S. I still love you guys as much as heck right now. I’ll never forget you.” (removes her glasses) Gee, I feel really sorry for her… wonder what caused her to leave.
Sui Do Ken: NEVER MIND WHAT CAUSED HER TO LEAVE THE GROUP – WE NEED A WAY TO GET HER BACK!!!!!!!
Cortex: No! If she wants to be free, leave her alone!
Sui Do Ken and Gadget: _
Cortex: Um… (blushes anime-style and has a giant sweat drop down his face) On second thoughts… count me in!
Sui Do Ken: Well that makes the five of us, including Mad and Copper. They have also agreed to help out.
Gadget: Come to think of it we still need more. We need to round up people across the neighbourhood to help us out!
Cortex: Can we save it until next week? We don’t need to go to a war on Christmas Day, for goodness sake!
Sui Do Ken: Think about it – something bad could happen to her. She could be savagely attacked, eaten alive or even worse, forced to work for your elder brother! Now shape up and let’s gather some people across here!

5 MINUTES LATER

[Scene changes to the living room/library of Cortex Castle. Music changes – Destiny’s Child – “Emotion” (Instrumental)]

Only a handful of people can be seen inside the room, also willing to take part – Crash Bandicoot, Sara Foster, Cortex’s son Rocky and the two foxes, Foxy and Fooxy. All five were discussing in a huddle.

Crash: So what brought you guys here?
Sara: I don’t celebrate Christmas like everyone else does – I’m an Orthodox Christian. I’m not up for parties until my birthday in three months.
Foxy: We’ve expanded our celebration routine a bit in case we come back a bit too late.
Fooxy: It’s true!
Rocky: Don’t ask about me – I live here! (rolls his eyes)
Crash: Hmmm… hopefully this should add more spice to my usual holiday routine of sleeping all day long. (laughs)
Sara: Gee, you’re still into your lazy habits, are you?

(Music fades out)

A series of clapping from a single person brought them to the front, face to face with Cortex, standing in front of the fireplace. Gadget, Mad, Sui and Copper followed him and then made their way to the sofa.

Cortex: OK everyone – we have looked into the problem of Daphne’s mysterious disappearance, and in order to get her back we need your help…
Foxy: (whispers to Rocky) Since when shall we trust him? Your stepbrother Cortex II was bad enough…
Rocky: (whispers to Foxy) I know, but at this time of year you need to see the unexpected.

Confused, Foxy lied down on the sofa, and focused more on the speech.

Cortex: …because we don’t know where to start looking, we need a way to track her down easily. Any takers?
Copper: (raises her hand) I have an idea, but I don’t think it’s going to work.

Everyone turned their heads in her direction.

Cortex: Go on Miss Oxide – let’s have it!
Copper: I’ve got psychic powers, so I can be able to find her easily. I think.
Fooxy: You THINK? I bet you can – you’ve got strength inside, just like your ancestor before you.
Copper: OK… I’ll give it a shot.

[Music restarts – DJ Tiesto – “Urban Train” (Club mix, intro)]

She placed her hands on the sides of her head, and closes her eyes. Everyone stands around her, as she projected an image of her current happenings inside a powerful white object above her head. It showed her screaming her head off from the shadowed figure she met, and it sounded like she was being attacked by rape! Everyone gasped.

Madison: That’s just plain horrible! Where in the world is she?
Copper: (very faintly) I’ll… try…

The image changed to a map of the world, and it soon focused to an area of Sydney on the mainland.

[Music blurs into Destiny’s Child – “8 Days of Xmas” (Intro)]

Sui Do Ken: So THAT’S where she is, ey?
Sara: You could be right. Looks like we have to make a journey across there.
Crash: Yeah, but… ten of us in one biplane?
Rocky: Ahem… didn’t you come in a blimp last time?
Crash: Whoops!
Gadget: OK, we have a dingo to rescue, and our time starts… (glances at her watch) NOW!

(Music kicks into the chorus)

They all ran out of the room towards the back of the castle. They now see that they have a hard task ahead, but the main thing is that their holiday season will not be intact… or will it? With a problem lying across the horizon, things may not go as planned…

(Music fades out)
*******************************
Episode 3 – A Troubled Past

Scene: The sewers of Sydney
Music: Toploader – “Achilles’ Heel” (Instrumental)

Daphne was being dragged up the long path of the sewers, still screaming, by the figure in the shadows. But it wasn’t long until they came across a drilled hole in there. He took her in there, and went into a room. The lights were turned on. It was structured just like a flat, but there were no windows, carpet or wallpaper. He slung her onto the bed, and leant over her.

Daphne: NO! GET AWAY FROM ME, YOU BEAST!!!!!!
Voice: What, I’m not going to do anything wrong, sweetie!
Daphne: What do you mean?

(Music fades out)

The figure finally showed himself from the darkness, from the bottom up. He wore brown hiking boots, no socks, combat pants, and has a slightly rounded belly. A brown belt around it held a dagger, a couple of pistols and a Swiss army knife. His shirt was of a dark scarlet without sleeves, and he had the tattoo of a cobra on his left arm. He was of a slight beefcake. Then when his head was shown he had scruffy-looking whiskers, a small black nose, slim green eyes being partly covered by a pair of purple sunglasses, slightly spiked-up hair and his ears were pierced with revolver earrings. She immediately cowered behind the covers, having been afraid of what he is. He is some sort of a punk possum.

Possum: Hey you. There’s no need to be afraid.
Daphne: (pokes her head out slowly) Afraid… of what?
Possum: If you’re thinking of spending the Christmas season alone, you know how I feel. I’ve been bereaved of love, never mind presents, or a tree, or any decorations, for two years on the trot.
Daphne: Two years? What happened beforehand?
Possum: I was a rich entrepreneur, showing a good name to mutant animals, even if I barely get mentioned in the tabloids. That was until… (looks down)
Daphne: Until when?
Possum: Until an earthquake shook the nation in October 1999 – over two years ago… I was returning from a day at work, when I felt a shake. I saw some houses falling down, so I took the wheel in the limo and drove out of town. When it was safe I came back… and my house was destroyed… with some others.
Daphne: Calm down there – you should have bought another house.
Possum: That’s the problem. It destroyed all my money too. :( So I can’t afford anything – everything I had that was worth what I had was taken away from me, and in disgrace, I was forced to live in the sewers. Without comfort, I was forced to steal the material you see here.
Daphne: Gee, I feel so sad for you. You’ve had a worse time than me – all I needed was a better environment to live in, and someone to really care for.
Possum: It’s OK. I guess we feel sorry for each other. Thank you for helping me out… er, what’s your name?
Daphne: I’m Daphne Dingo. I’m from a small island on somewhere off the coast called the Crash Archipelago.
Possum: Never heard of it, but it sounds like a good place. It’s a pleasure to meet you. I’m Perry Possum.
Daphne: Perry… that’s a nice name! ;)
Perry: Thanks.
Daphne: You don’t mind if I stay here for a couple of nights before I continue my journey?
Perry: Sure, why not? :) I’ll see if I can find some refreshments. (attempts to leave)
Daphne: What, I’ll be feeding myself on radioactive fish?
Perry: (laughs out loud) That’s a good one! Actually there’s a freezer along the path, for some strange reason. I’ll be back in five minutes. (leaves)

Daphne starred in the direction of the entrance with a smile on his face. Sure he seems like a sweet guy… but why hasn’t he at all been loved in the past two years? Surely there must be an explanation. Anyhow, she lied on the bed, and had a smile on her face. She closed her eyes, and remained in that position.

[Scene changes to the path on the sewers. Music restarts – Roger Sanchez – “You Can’t Change Me” (Radio edit, instrumental)]

Perry made a rush round the path and made it to the freezer, where a mobile phone lied on top. He grabbed it, pressed a button down and started speaking through it.

Perry: Boss, I’ve come across a golden dingo with Madonna’s fashion sense. Codename – Daphne. What shall I do with her?

The voice on the phone spoke. It sounded very familiar, as it belonged… to Tiko Cortex, AKA the Cerulean Wizard!

Tiko: (on the phone) Daphne… Daphne… that name sounds soooooo familiar.
Perry: How? Was she a school friend of yours?
Tiko: (on the phone) I wish. Now listen to me – if I can remember rightly, she’s an ally of the only target that’s preventing my plans on world domination – Crash Bandicoot.
Perry: You mean… the guy with the spiked-out eyebrows, blue eyes, sulky face…
Tiko: (on the phone) No, that’s Fake Crash, you idiot! (sighs) The real one is the other one who does all the heroics! To make things worse… the real one also has a strong connection to my younger brother Neo, who has also been trying to take over the world in his past, yet he and the orange prat are concentratin’ on me as a threat!
Perry: Calm down! Calm down… wait a mo – THAT’S why they’re called the Crash Archipelago, huh?
Tiko: (on the phone) Whatever. Now listen up – grab the Turkish Delights from the top shelf and as soon as she swallows one, she’ll be gone to her death.
Perry: What’s the point of that? It’s that Crash guy that you’re seeking for, right?
Tiko: (on the phone) He’ll eventually find her, and if you do come across him, kill him in whatever way you can. Hint of advice – he can’t swim.
Perry: Gotcha. I’m on it!

He hung up and placed the phone on top of the freezer. Then he pulled out the Turkish Delights and made a looooooooooooong run all the way back to his home. Will Daphne fall for them? Or will she eventually notice what there is?
*******************************
Episode 4 – So Much Novelty, So Little Taste

Scene: The skies above the Pacific

Among the quiet areas a few seagulls can be seen flying around the area chirping happily… but they soon moved out of the way when a sound of an engine can be heard.

(Camera turns to the right)

From there we can now see the blimp that they travelled in, and as we come closer and closer to it loud music can be heard in the form of DJ Otzi – “Hey Baby”. Through the window we can now see Foxy, Rocky and Mad singing along to the track at high volume with glasses of wine in their hands (or a weak cider in Rocky’s case). In another corner Crash can be seen sleeping, Copper was in deep meditation and the other girls were all chatting among one another.

Sui Do Ken: (glances at the boys and sighs) Novelty songs, you can never predict ‘em.
Sara: I can’t agree more. I mean, is this the latest craze or something?
Fooxy: A craze? Definitely. The latest? Maybe not!
Gadget: You are so right – nothing can beat the craze for Harry Potter.
Fooxy: (in a deep tone) Oh for Pete’s sake…
Sara: But think of it this way – who needs novelty singles around here anyway?
Sui Do Ken: That’s what I still need to figure out – it hasn’t changed from here until my time.
Fooxy: It hasn’t changed in what way, Sui?
Sui Do Ken: If your modern world has DJ Otzi, we’ve got Jo King in the 30th century. He reached the top of the chart in 2998 with a cover version of “You Sexy Thing”, originally done by Hot Chocolate. It went on to become a fast-selling Christmas number one and was the biggest selling single of the year, and unlike Bob The Builder, who did the same thing 998 years before in the UK, he sold a million singles before the year was out! (looks angry) As I said before novelty singles, you can never predict ‘em.
Sara: I can’t agree more.
Gadget: ^_^ Just doing that to save us from going round in circles. ;)

Suddenly there was a bleeping from the map projected in a thought bubble from Copper. They turned in her direction and saw a black triangle (represented by the gang) coming closer to a red dot (represented by Daphne) in a city area.

Gadget: Holy cow – we’re almost there! (calls out to the cockpit) HEY NEO!!!!! TRY AND DIVE DOWN AT THE RUNWAY NEAR THE OPERA HOUSE – IT’S THE CLOSEST TO HER!!!!!!!
Fooxy: What, we are there already?
Gadget: Yup. In the letter she said that she loved us. And you know that can’t be bad. ;)

Just as soon as she finished speaking the blimp was tilted at an angle, causing most of them to scream and hang onto something. But Crash and Copper ended up sliding down and crashing into each other at the cockpit door in a crumpled heap.

[Scene changes to the sewers. Music restarts – Dido – “Thank You” (Intro)]

At this stage Daphne was still in her same pose as we left her – lying on the bed with her head to the ceiling, with her eyes closed and she was breathing lightly and slowly – i.e. in a light sleep. Footsteps can be heard from outside, and from there came Perry. He emerged with the chocolates with a proud look on his face.

Perry: Hey Daph – I got the chocs!

No response. He looked over her, and saw her in her state. She started to stir a bit.

Daphne: (talks in her sleep) I wanna ride a pony…

After that she remained as still as ever. With that, Perry had a keen look in the eyes and drew out his dagger. He leaned over her and got ready to slice her, but as he made the stroke…

RRRRRRRRIP!!!!!!!

She rolled out of the way and this only caused a cut in the bed! As she rolled, she landed with a…

(Music stops)

THUD!

Daphne: Ow…
Perry: (quickly puts the dagger back and covers the cut with a bed sheet) You OK?
Daphne: (climbs back up) I think so… thanks for mentioning that.
Perry: Why were you sleeping? I just don’t understand…
Daphne: It has to serve me right for waking up at two in the morning just to start my journey.
Perry: Ouch. >_< Well, now that we got this nasty bump out of the way we can now move on to something else, can we?
Daphne: Sure. Did you get the refreshments?
Perry: Yup – I got the chocolates. (shows the Turkish Delights)
Daphne: Yummy! (takes one) Thank you Perry!
Perry: No problem. (looks vile)

[Music restarts – Gorillaz – “Clint Eastwood” (Video edit, intro)]

As she brought it over to her mouth, Perry had a keen smile on her face that she might eat it and get poisoned. But as soon as it reached her mouth… she sniffed it.

(Music pauses)

Daphne: A Turkish Delight? All this for a Turkish Delight? Grrr… (tosses it in the bin) I HATE TURKISH? DELIGHTS!!!!!!!!!!!!
Perry: o_O()

(Music resumes and the beat kicks in, and the track runs instrumental)

Daphne: Well it doesn’t matter – at least you tried.
Perry: Thanks. But to make up for it you can have a bash on my PlayStation2 if you want.
Daphne: Cool! I’ve always wanted to try one of those! What games do you have?
Perry: Well I’ve got “Grand Theft Auto 3”, “SSX Tricky”, “Devil May Cry”… all the games are on that shelf above the TV.
Daphne: (takes a glance at the games) Hmmm… I’ll take this one. (takes a game, but she doesn’t reveal it to the camera)
Perry: A wise choice Daph – you don’t mind trying to beat this level that I’m stuck on?
Daphne: Sure, I’m ready. I’ll have this done and dusted. ;)
Perry: Done and dusted you say? I’m glad to see that! Well anyhow, I’m going to get some beer. Be right back.
Daphne: See ya!

(Music changes into the outro)

So Perry left the room and made it allllll the way back to the freezer. With that he picked the phone up again and made contact with Tiko.

[Music changes – Missy Elliot and Janet Jackson – “Son of a Gun” (Instrumental)]

Tiko: Perry! What a surprise! How was the chocolate?
Perry: Sorry to tell you this sir, but she doesn’t like Turkish Delights.
Tiko: Oh well, there always has to be some women in this world who doesn’t like ‘em.
Perry: That’s a good thought. Well, do you have anything else that will do the trick?
Tiko: Yes, we’ve had transportation for a beer from a different planet, and it will seriously harm her like it did with the inhabitants. Just recently a fox friend by the name of Kalam came by with this alcoholic drink – Soulstorm Brew.
Perry: Lemme guess where it came from – Oddworld.
Tiko: How did you guess?
Perry: I’ve played the games. ;)
Tiko: Well good luck with the brew! I hope you will be able to get her drunk and her body slaughtered. We have big plans.
Perry: Ah yeah, I’m ready for them. ;)

So they both hung up, and so Perry took two bottles of the brew with him. Will Daphne be able to notice the evil that he’s up to and take care of business? Or will she suffer from the hands of a drink too many?
*******************************
Episode 5 – The Wrath of Tiko Cortex

Scene: The back streets of Sydney
Music: Sum 41 – “In Too Deep” (Intro, first verse and first chorus)

The midday sun was starting to seep through the darkness of these back streets, and aside from that there was another light in there. It zoomed from one corner to another, but it kept on slowing down as we ran towards it. Finally the light can be seen from Copper, with the map still projected in a thought bubble. The rest of the crew were also with her.

(Music turns instrumental)

Crash: Boy, this city almost feels like a jungle, no wonder why it’s difficult to find her.
Madison: I think the same, even though we have a good map for guidance.
Fooxy: Why, what’s wrong with that?
Sui Do Ken: You never knew what she did with this power before she came to this time. All I can say is that beforehand these maps took her to the wrong place, therefore making her fail her orienteering course.
Sara: Um, isn’t she a bit young for that?
Copper: Our scholar system was different to yours back in Gazmoxia – I had four years of school from the age of one, and I did pretty well with it. The good thing is, you can actually start from any age you want, and I had to take the hardest of the lot due to my short-lived racing career. :(
Everyone else: Awww…

Suddenly there was a bleeping on the map, and they immediately turned to it.

Rocky: Would you look at that? We’re right on top of her!

[Music blurs into Planet Funk – “Chase The Sun” (Ambient radio edit, instrumental)]

The map showed that the black triangle was on top of the red dot, and all that there was in front of them was a manhole.

Cortex: OK, last one to figure out where Daphne is buys the beer on the way back.
Crash: Well, chances are that she would have climbed up that ladder over there and is standing above us on a skyscraper.
Gadget: That’s a good bet, but you had to bear in mind that WE’RE on top of HER!
Crash: Oh right… my mistake.
Gadget: It’s OK. Personally I feel that she’d be down there somewhere waiting for us. That rape dude isn’t going to last for long!
Foxy: Boy, you look keen for all this! Hmmm… now that we’ve come across her we are ready to start the hunt… in the smelliest place on earth. >_<
Sui Do Ken: I’m prepared with six cans each of air freshener and of oxygen, so we’ll be OK.
Foxy: That’s just brilliant! Let’s get ready to go!

So they all went down the manhole one by one… but when it came to Crash’s turn… he started climbing the ladder!

Cortex: (from the manhole) I suppose you want to buy the beer for the return journey, do you?
Crash: Eap!
Cortex: (from the manhole) Well in order to save this from happening, I suggest that you come down here NOW!
Crash: OK, whatever.

He released his grip from the ladder and did a body slam pose down the manhole. As he went through, everything on the surface was shook up with a bang.

(Scene changes to the sewers. Music stops)

From here there were a set of sounds coming from one area of the sewers, and it all came from Perry’s room. On the bed, Daphne was sitting there quietly with a PS2 controller in her possession, and the TV showed that she was playing “Crash Bandicoot: The Wrath of Cortex”. The level shown here was one of the marshland levels, and she was riding a jeep away from a herd of rhinos, breaking every box on her path and with a confident look on her face. As she was making steady progression, Perry came in with the lager behind his back.

Perry: How are you doing?
Daphne: I’ve missed a lot of boxes… but wait – that crate! It gets rid of all the nitro boxes!
Perry: Go for it!

After jumping off the jeep, she saw a green crate with an exclamation mark on it, with the warp portal over the bridge. She spun it, and it caused an explosion in the background, as well as seeing the gem being brought down for her. She picked it up, and as she did she went through the warp portal… and – after a while of loading - came out into the warp room with that and the crystal!

Daphne: Yes! I’ve got it!
Perry: Excellent! You’ve got to save it!

So she went out of the hub via the exit and went on to the load/save screen. That’s where she saved her game… successfully! Perry started cheering and patting her on the back as she turned off the power for the PS2 and the TV and placed the game back in its place.

Perry: Way to go Daph – you’ve done a great job!!!
Daphne: Awww, thanks! Say, you got the lager yet?
Perry: I sure do!

He drew the bottles from behind his back, opened one and handed Daphne the other.

Perry: All that for a bit of hard work… well done!
Daphne: Thanks! I haven’t seen this much happiness since Rodney Jetboard decided to make a vehicle for pedestrians that reassembles a skateboard and flies in the air, and named it after himself. ;)
Perry: I haven’t heard of him, but I’ll be on the lookout.

[Music restarts – Daniel Bedingfield – “Gotta Get Thru This” (Intro)]

Daphne opened her bottle of brew and started consuming it steadily. It managed to take her a few gulps to get it all down her… but she placed it down in a hyperactive state!

Daphne: (grabs Perry by the collar) I need more, I tell you… MOOOORE!!!!!!!!!
Perry: OK, I’m on it!!! (dashes out of the room)

(Music kicks into the first verse)

And so with that Perry started his run back and forth among the sewer path leading towards the freezer. With every journey he made she consumed so many bottles at one go! After ten of them she started to slow signs of lower reaction times, after 50 she started to slur her speech in such a bad state, but after a full one hundred she started to get dizzy and ill. Her eyelids were also dropping. With that in mind, he had his chance.

Perry: What are you?
Daphne: (slurred) A three headed kangaroo… (hiccups)

A few seconds later, she collapsed on the bed and went into a deep state of unconsciousness. With that successfully working he leant over her and grabbed his Swiss army knife from his pocket, and held it above her with a vicious smile on his face. Could this really be the end of Daphne? And will Crash and his crew be able to find her in time?
*******************************
Episode 6 – To The Rescue

Scene: The back streets of Sydney
Music: D12 – “Fight Music” (Instrumental, no drum or bass)

Within the now darkened back streets a black figure came running down the area, with a flashing yellow ring that blinks every second or so. It stops in front of the camera, and the flashes reveal that the creature has purple fur, with the exception of white paws and belly, and wore torn denim shorts. It sat down on all fours and took a sniff in the path in front of him. Glowing red eyes lit up in the darkness, and it gave out a familiar howl. After that it continued running across the area, carrying on with its journey.

(Scene changes to the sewers)

Meanwhile, back in the sewers, Perry was still in the pose when he was about to stab Daphne in the heart with his Swiss Army Knife. He still had high determination on his face, until…

(Music fades out)

…some footsteps can be heard. He quickly placed his weapon away, picked her up and tossed her under the bed. He also made a run outside his room, but… as soon as he turned to his left, his nose met with that of Crash!

Crash: And where do you think you’re going?
Perry: I… I… er… I was just… looking for the bathroom.
Crash: Go ahead. ;)
Fooxy: Wait a minute – something seems strange about him – he’s in a state of panic.

[Music restarts – Kosheen – “Catch” (Instrumental)]

Perry: Wh… what do you mean? It… it’s just that I’m… face to face… with… C… C… Crash B… B… Bandicoot!!!
Foxy: Always the superstar trick, isn’t it? (turns to Copper) Copper, can you scale your map down?
Copper: Sure.

Within a few seconds the map was scaled down from a City one to a Sewer map.

Copper: You know that room which this rat came out of, right?
Perry: I’m not a rat – I’m a possum!!!
Copper: Whatever. Well, he came out of the room where Daphne is, so he must have a link to her!
Perry: AAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! (spreads out like a star) You can never take me alive!!!!!
Sui Do Ken: Oh, we’ll see about that!

And in a flash she performed a roundhouse kick onto his face, sending him in the sewage waters, and he started going downstream while trying to swim back to shore.

Madison: Be quick – we have to find Daph before it’s too late!

So they quickly ran into Perry’s hideout, and everyone started searching. Copper was bouncing on the bed trying to reach the attic door, Fooxy made a brave attempt by getting stuck in the wardrobe, but Crash was just glancing at Perry’s PS2 game collection.

Crash: “Jak and Daxter”? Joke and Daxter more like…
Sara: CRASH!!!
Crash: Oh… soz – I’m on it!
Cortex: Guys! Come over here – I think I found her!

(Music starts to fade out)

Everyone quickly turned in Cortex’s direction, and he was in grasp of a golden and furry hand.

Sara: This seems a lot like her all right – bring her out!

[Music restarts – Dido – “All You Want” (Intro instrumental)]

And so he did. When the whole body was brought out… she started choking on her own vomit.

Everyone else: Ewww…
Gadget: Ugh, that is SO sickening. :|
Rocky: (has his hands over his eyes) Yeah – I can’t agree more, and I can’t watch!
Foxy: Well now that we have her in our grasp, how are we going to take her out? It’ll be almost impossible to drag her up the ladders, and if that rat dude finds us again then she will slow us down!
Madison: (almost immediately after Foxy speaks) Calm down, calm down Foxy – well, myself and five others should know about the other easy way out, if you can remember the trip to the next millennium.
Cortex: Oh – them! I should have known!
Crash: What?
Cortex: (nudges Crash in the arm) Don’t tell me you can’t remember…
Madison: Well to recap his memory we have… (draws out a familiar gadget) …the Transportation Ball!
Rocky: Whoa! Now I can catch pokémon!
Gadget: He said Transportation Ball, not Poké Ball. And besides, it’s just a cartoon!
Madison: Well it does reassemble one in a fair bit, but it does a little more.

He tosses the ball on top of Daphne and it caught her inside the small space available, and it came back to him.

Madison: I’ll let you have one after the trip for a bit of practice.
Rocky: Gotcha!
Sui Do Ken: Well now that we’ve got her we need to find our way back to the bloomin’ blimp!

So they rushed out of the room… but they left Crash behind. He saw a transportation ball on the floor, picked it up and tossed it at Perry’s PS2, games and peripherals. It returned to his hand, and he made a run out of the sewers.

(Scene changes to the freezer. Music stops)

At the freezer, Perry finally managed to climb out of the water, covered in waste. Stunned as he was, he eventually picked up the phone and started speaking.

Perry: Tiko… Tiko, are you there?

[Scene changes to the cockpit of a familiar air ship. Music restarts – Toploader – “Achilles’ Heel” (Instrumental)]

At this stage Tiko is sitting in a leather chair, with his back to the camera, which is gradually closing up on him.

Tiko: What is it now?
Perry: (on the phone) I hate to tell you this, but that bandicoot bugger you told me about came an’ took Daphne away from me!!!
Tiko: WHAT?!? I have to check this!

(Camera goes around him 180º)

He took a telescope and looked down at the city. That’s where he saw Crash and the others running off down a back street in a southern direction. He pressed a button and switched the action to a simple map, where the black triangle and the red dot are together.

Tiko: (shocked) This is unbelievable!!! You’re absolutely right! (puts the telescope back) Fear not Perry – we have a plan for all plans. I’ll take you up here in a bit.
Perry: (on the phone) Thanks sir! I’ll be at the zoo if you need me.
Tiko: OK!

He hung up and then turned in the direction of his three siblings, and a shadowed creature.

Tiko: Right guys – we’ve come across Crash and his lot, and this means it’ll be a bit of a struggle to get the dingo where we want her. Any ideas?
Hallie: Why don’t we just go down there and beat her right up?
Deksta: Always the hard way, eh Hallie?
Hallie: Shut up Daxter, or else I’ll send Jak on ya!
Lio: Ladies, please – don’t get in a brawl now-
Creature: I have an idea in mind.
Tiko: You do? Please tell me!

The creature emerged from the darkness, and from the bottom up light shone on the shadows. He… is Kalam!

Kalam: I feel that we should take them up here with us, and then we’ll exterminate them behind closed doors. (looks vilely)
Tiko: I think I know your plan – with this work of yours we will be unstoppable!!!
*******************************
Episode 7 – A Quick Recovery

Scene: The back streets of Sydney
Music: Groove Armada – “At The River” (Instrumental and without drum or bass)

Among the dusty back streets Crash and his crew rushed through with Daphne in their grasp. It wasn’t long until they actually reached the back of the Opera House, and laid her down near a pile of trashcans.

Crash: Right, let’s start from the recovery position before anything goes wrong.

And so they placed her in that position.

Crash: Um… I dunno what comes next.
Rocky: It’s OK. I heard that the next thing people do to someone with a high alcohol intake is to take a sample of the blood and check the concentration.
Cortex: Leave that to me – I’ve brought the bare essentials.

He took out a syringe, stuck it onto her arm and used it to remove a sample of her blood. He then took out a small machine and placed it around his wrist, and from there he placed the sample inside. Within a couple of seconds an LCD monitor shows the alcohol concentration.

Cortex: (gasps) The amount of alcohol in there is 67.3%! This isn’t good – we need to get it all out immediately before it causes any more damage! Problem is, there are some types of beverages that can’t be taken out the easy way round.
Gadget: (looks over his shoulder) Can you be able to identify it?
Cortex: I think I can…

He turns a few knobs on the device, and on the screen the letters SSB are seen.

Copper: What’s SSB?
Foxy: I should have known about this earlier – Soulstorm Brew! >_<
Sui Do Ken: You know about this stuff?
Foxy: Sure – I travel the universe on adventures with Crash and a few other friends.
Fooxy: It’s true – and I’ve seen him in a lot of action. ;)
Sara: Well if that’s the case, do you know how to cure it?
Fooxy: It’s all in the power of a special yellow healing ring. When possessed, it goes through the victim’s body and rids of the spores.
Madison: Sounds interesting. I may think of trying some sometime.
Copper: (steps in front of him) Don’t even think about it!!!
Madison: Fine, I won’t! (blushes anime-style)
Gadget: Now back on subject, where can we find a healing ring?

[Music blurs into So Solid Crew – “21 Seconds” (Intro instrumental)]

Voice: (from a distance) WHOO!!!!!!!
Cortex: (turns around) Is that…? No… it can’t be.
Voice: (from a distance) WHOO!!!!!!!
Sui Do Ken: What on Earth’s that – the bloomin’ Ghost Train? :|
Voice: (from a distance, and is now a bit louder) WHOO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cortex: No wait – it’s a bit clearer now… I know who it is!!!!!

And just after he finished speaking a black figure on all fours charged into his belly and slammed him into the trashcans!!!

(Music stops)

CLASH!!!!!!!

Gadget: Oh for Pete’s sake…

She rushes over to the wrecks, and managed to pull Cortex out, with bits of fruit, soda cans, fish heads – you name it, the trashcan had it – all over himself.

Gadget: Neo, are you OK?
Cortex: I’m fine, thanks for asking.

[Music restarts – Gorillaz – “Clint Eastwood” (Video edit, intro instrumental)]

But from the wrecks, a yellow wave was given off. Gadget noticed it and ducked for cover, bringing Cortex down with her. Then it went through Daphne’s once unconscious body and raised her half a metre from the floor glowing a bright goldenrod colour. They looked on at her, and they saw her eyes opening again. The glow stopped, and as it faded, she was on her feet, with signs of recovery. Then the figure came out from the trashcans, and showed himself… as Private Boron!!!

Cortex: What the… Boron, what are you doing here?

Boron responded with a growl.

Sara: What did he say?
Sui Do Ken: Probably something on the lines of “You left me behind”.
Cortex: But nonetheless, he seems pretty happy.
Boron: WHOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
Daphne: Ow… (rubs her head)
Crash: Daph… what’s wrong?
Daphne: Ugh… what on Earth happened here? And where am I?
Crash: You were in a bad state of shock, sweetie.
Daphne: Why?
Gadget: Some stupid sewer rat tried to get you drunk, and that’s all you need to know.
Daphne: What sewer rat? Please tell me!!!
Gadget: You know, that one you were “living” with at the time.
Daphne: (gasps) PERRY!!!!!!!!!! (is about to cry)
Crash: Oh c’mon, just calm down – you may see that he was ugly on the outside, but you have to realise that not all lost souls are kind-hearted on the inside too. Now come on – now that we’ve found you the best we can do is take you home.
Daphne: (sighs) I guess you’re right. (looks down with gloom)
Crash: Oh cheer up – at least it won’t get worse. Nothing gets worse in the Christmas season!

[Music blurs into Toploader – “Achilles’ Heel” (Instrumental)]

Meanwhile, an airship was hovering up high in the sky, coming closer and closer to the ground… but it continued hovering above. A gun came out from the top of it and aimed for the gang.

(Camera zooms closer)

But now… the villain behind it can now be seen as Tiko!!!

Tiko: Hey Kalam, are you sure this thing is going to work?
Kalam: (from another room) It works every time, so why doubt about it?
Tiko: Er, never mind. :\

He presses a few buttons and pulled a lever, and from the top of the machine a beam shone down on them.

Crash: YOWL!!!!!! What on Earth is going on here???
Fooxy: Don’t ask me – I’m absolutely clueless!
Daphne: Well no matter what we need to get back doooooooooown!!!!!!!

Eventually they were brought into the ship through the end of the laser via a spark. Who knows what Tiko wants to try to do with them… the only way to find out is to wait until next time, where that question will be answered!!!
*******************************
Episode 8 – Captured!

Scene: A hub in an airship
Music: Aaliyah – “More Than A Woman” (Instrumental)

On a centre platform a bright light was exposed down. From there came the silhouettes of 12 people. The light went… and the figures soon became instantly recognisable. They remained silent for a while, taking a look around the surroundings.

Crash: Where on Earth are we?
Sara: That I’m not so sure about.
Fooxy: Well, whatever it is, it sure is creepy.
Foxy: What, I thought you’d be suited to this! I’ve been there done that, so surely you must be joking.
Fooxy: I’m not. (sticks her tongue out in a mischievous manner)
Cortex: Returning on topic, which imbecile would bother to take us in like that?

[Music blurs into Prodigy – “Out Of Space” (Ambient edit, intro instrumental)]

Voice: It was me!!!
Madison: (gasps) Who said that?
Daphne: I have a bad feeling about this…
Sui Do Ken: Lemme at ‘im! Lemme at ‘im!!!

They all remained at the platform, and through a set of double doors came two shadowed figures.

Copper: Who goes there?
Boron: SHHH!!!!!
Copper: Oh… sorry. (blushes)

The two figures came straight out of the darkness, and showed themselves… as Tiko and Kalam!!!

Tiko: Well, I’m so glad you’ve asked.
Rocky: Uncle Tiko! Why did you bring us up in the first place?
Kalam: It’s all part of the plan.
Rocky: (gasps) Oh for goodness sake!!! >_<
Gadget: Hey, I don’t think you can find a plan even if it slapped you in the face!!!
Tiko: We shall see about that! (calls out in another direction) Hey Perry – get your backside over here right this minute!!!

In front of them, Perry came through the double doors with a stun club in possession.

Daphne: (gasps) Oh no!!!
Kalam: Oh no what?
Perry: That’s right - thank you Daphne for returning the wretched bandicoot and his chums for… their death penalty!!!
Crash: Oh come on – nothing’s gonna happen to us, right? As Gadget said, “you can’t find a plan even if it slapped you in the face!”
Perry: We’ll see about that, Crashy-boy!!!

(Music stops all of a sudden)

CLICK!

The lights went out for a few seconds, and within the time it was heard that a fight was erupting.

CLICK!

[Music restarts – Gorillaz – “Tomorrow Comes Today” (Intro instrumental)]

The lights were turned back on and now we see Crash and his search team all tied up on a single rope, hanging three metres from the high ceiling, and were trying to break free.

Crash: You won’t get away with this, you stupid moron!!!
Tiko: Sorry Crash, but I already have done! (turns to Perry and Kalam) Let’s go.
Perry: Ready when you are!

As they left, they took Daphne with them, in a state of unconsciousness. Kalam went up to a lever next to the double doors.

Kalam: (in a vile one) So long Crash Bandicoot – it’s NOT been nice knowing you!

He flipped the switch and went out with the doors closing behind him. From there, fans around the room started to operate, sending in poisonous gases, all with a tree green colour, inside.

Sara: I can’t believe it’s come to this. :(
Madison: I guess you’re right.
Sui Do Ken: Hey wait a mo – I got an idea! Copper, can you use your psychic power to blow the gas away? While you do that we shall try to break the rope!
Rocky: How will we do that? :\
Gadget: Anything you can think of – it’s the only way to escape!!!
Cortex: Please Copper – we’re counting on you!
Copper: I’ll give it a try, but I don’t think it’ll actually work. :|

So from her a bright white barrier tried to blow the current away. This is now the start of an uphill struggle – now that Tiko has Daphne, all that they know is that it’ll be hard to make it out alive, never mind rescuing her!!! On the subject of which, what do Tiko and his crew want with her? The question will be answered with no time at all!!!
*******************************
Episode 9 – Someone’s Demise

Scene: A room in Tiko’s airship
Music: Dream – “He Loves U Not” (Middle 8 instrumental)

At this stage, Daphne was hung upside down on a metallic table, being pinned on all four limbs by iron straps. She started to regain consciousness, and upon opening her eyes, she had a confused facial expression on her face.

Daphne: Where the heck am I? And what’s goin’ on?
Voice: I suppose those are your last words, huh?
Daphne: Eh? Who said that?

Out from another double door came Tiko and his crew, all looking as vile as they ever have been.

(Music fades away)

Daphne: Grrr… what do you want with me, you pig-ugly freaks?
Deksta: We have a plan so sinister it’ll knock your brain out!
Hallie: Yeah – you’re coming over to our side whether you like it or not!
Daphne: But why?
Lio: We see that you have the strength and courage for a team as mighty as us.
Daphne: Mighty enemies my ass. (rolls her eyes)
Tiko: We shall see that as soon as you come across with Perry again.
Kalam: Come on bub – it’s your cue!!!

[Music restarts – Redman and Adam F – “Smash Sumthin’” (Instrumental, skip intro)]

Throughout that call Perry came through another set of double doors, with his pistols in possession.

Perry: You called?
Tiko: We have brought back your victim. Be ready for the massacre.
Daphne: Massacre? (sighs) First you were telling me that you were gonna make me a slave for you guys, and now you’re killing me??? I don’t believe this.
Perry: Thinking of it this way, all we can tell you is that we’ll blow your brains out and use the rest of your body as an android warrior!!!
Deksta: WHOA!!! That’s sooooooooo kewl!!! ^_^
Hallie: Yeah Pezza – glad you thought of the idea!!!
Perry: Don’t thank me – it’s Tiko’s plan, not mine.
Lio: I knew that.
Kalam: Don’t lie, Pinocchio, or else your nose will grow and grow.
Tiko: SILENCE!!!!!!!!

There was a sudden burst of silence in the room.

Tiko: Right. Perry, get on with it.
Perry: Yes sir. ;)

He loaded his pistols with powerful bullets, went up to Daphne and placed them at her head. She started to scream her head off at this crucial stage.

[Scene changes back to the gas chamber. Music changes – Gorillaz – “19-2000” (Wiseguys House of Wisdom mix, instrumental)]

Meanwhile, back at the entrance portal, things didn’t seem to look too good for Crash and the others. Copper was reflecting the poison gases with her psychic power, while the others tried to break free with different methods, including swinging, brute force… and using their teeth to bite the ropes.

Copper: Help! It’s all goin’ too much!!!
Sui Do Ken: Yeah, but just don’t give up! Try and focus on with as much power as you can!!!
Copper: (suffering pain) I’m tryin’ thaaaaaaaaaaaat!!!

Suddenly the white shield started to wear out. Then a less amount of the gases were reflected, with the rest seeping through.

Copper: That’s the problem… I’M RUNNING LOW ON POWER!!!!!!!!
Madison: Copper, just don’t give up – you’re our only hope!!!
Sara: Yeah please – we’re counting on you!
Rocky: You go girl! You go girl!

All the shouting around her suddenly made her glow an angry red colour. Bright scarlet sparks fizzed away from her face, and then a few seconds later… she gave off a powerful bright gold spark across the room, causing a while flash! When it faded out… everyone was seen free from the rope!

Foxy: YES!!!!! We made it!
Fooxy: Maybe from the rope, but what about the gases? (points up)

They looked up, and they saw the poison gases filling the top of the room, and more was filling underneath it.

Gadget: Er, I think we should scram before anything bad happens.

And with that they bolted out through the door and immediately closed the door behind them!

(Music reaches the outro)

Boron: (wipes his forehead) Phew!
Crash: Talk about a close call. :D
Cortex: Now that the hard part’s out of the way I say that we should focus on getting Daphne back… and finally make Tiko wish that he had never been born!!!
Crash: But how will we do that?
Cortex: You’ll see. ;)

So they rushed down the long and narrow corridors, ready to meet up once again with their arch-nemesis.

(Scene changes to the torture chamber. Music finishes)

Back at the torture chamber, Perry still had the pistols aimed at Daphne’s head, and he hasn’t even reached the triggers! Crash and his crew also ran in there and hid in the shadows.

Tiko: Oh c’mon Possum – you’re taking forever tryin’ to shoot her down!
Kalam: Yeah – hurry up!!!! Time’s a wastin’!!!!!

Having heard those words, Perry looked on at those two with his own eyes. Then he brought his attention back to Daphne. A few more seconds passed… and after that… he put the weapons away.

Perry: I’m sorry Tiko, but… I can’t do it.
Tiko: Why not?

[Music restarts – Artful Dodger – “Think About Me” (Intro instrumental)]

Perry: It was like… this morning she was like a guardian angel to me. I have told her how I’ve been bereaved of love since the earthquake two years ago. Now she came back and made me happy again.
Kalam: ENOUGH WITH THE LOVE STUFF – JUST KILL HER!!!!!!!!
Perry: No Kalam – I love her.
Daphne: (gasps) You really do??? Pass the smelling salts, I feel faint…
Perry: It’s true.

(Music fades out)

Tiko: (gets furious) PERRY!!!!!!!!! (gets out his laser) I’m not gonna stick around all day listenin’ to your Valentine’s Day poems – she is gone! End of story!!!

[Music restarts – Linkin Park – “Paper Cut” (Intro)]

So he pushed Perry out of the way and went up to Daphne, where he placed his laser on her head. She started to cringe away with fear.

Tiko: Say your prayers, dingo!!!

But as he said that, Perry went up to him and placed the pistols on his head!!! Crash and the others managed to set themselves behind the siblings.

(Music stops all of a sudden)

Perry: I wouldn’t do that if I were you!
Tiko: WHAT?!?!? Perry, what on Earth are you doin’??? KALAM! SIBLINGS! GET HIM!!!!!!
Perry: Sorry about that, but they’re all tied up at the moment!!!!!

[Music restarts – D12 – “Fight Music” (Intro and first chorus)]

Tiko looked to his right… and saw that Crash and his crew caught his siblings, and have weapons pointed at THEIR heads too!!! Only Kalam was the one that was intact. With that he suddenly went into a state of panic, as well as getting much more enraged than ever!!!!!

(Music turns instrumental)

Tiko: (still furious) Kalam, just don’t stand there – DO SOMETHING!!!!!!!!

Kalam: Um… (looks around in panic) I’m outta here!!!!!

So he jumps out of the window, and we last see him floating down the skies with a parachute with a smiley face on it. Tiko looked even more panicked and furious than ever, and steam was coming out of his ears!!!

Perry: (pushes him down to the ground) STAY DOWN YOU LOSER!!!!!!!
Tiko: Can I have a last request?
Perry: (hits him with one of the pistols) You’re gonna get nothing – this’ll be your ultimate punishment!!!
Tiko: (faintly) Farewell cruel world…
Perry: OK guys, on the count of three, we shoot. One… two…

Tiko started to cringe even more, with sweat coming down his face. All that he knows now is that there is no escape for him or his siblings. He now realises what he did in his past… and now he will get the pain back… all in one go.

Perry: THREE!!!!!!!!!

(Screen goes black. Music immediately stops)

BANG!
*******************************
Episode 10 – The End of the Cerulean Era

Scene: A desert runway in the Crash Archipelago
Music: Energy 52 – “Café Del Mar” (Michael Woods remix)

On a beautiful sunset landscape, Tiko’s airship came coming down, and within a few seconds it managed to land safely and slow down, therefore coming to a halt. A few seconds silence was also seen. A set of metallic doors opened up, giving out some white smoke… and from there, out came Crash and his crew!!!!! They have survived from the attack!!!!!

(Beat starts)

Crash: I’ve managed to find that an adventure of a lifetime.
Madison: Me too! Er, wonder if we ever changed history from this… :|
Sui Do Ken: I seriously doubt it.
Fooxy: But think of it this way – there are four less reasons to fight against evil!
Cortex: On the subject of which, even if they HAVE gone forever, I still feel a bit of regret inside, as they were close to my heart… in a way.
Foxy: I never knew you had one. :rolleyes
Daphne: Well all that matters now is that we can all have a merry Christmas and a happy New Year!!! ^_^
Copper: That’s the stuff!!! It’s party time! :D
Sara: I know I’m not allowed one until my birthday, but what the heck – my heroics will even it out. ;)
Rocky: Lara Croft, your cue. (laughs)
Gadget: That’s a good one, Rocky my boy!
Boron: YAAAAAAAA-HOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! ^_^

(Music kicks into the outro)

As the twelve of them walked along the horizon with long shadows trailing behind them, Perry emerged from behind the doors, and looked on at them with a reassuring smile. It is as that love has returned to him for good.

Perry: (in a faint and deep voice) You guys have worked hard… hope you’re ready to play hard. ;)

So he went back inside the aircraft, and the doors closed behind him. All that he knew is that he will be happy with his new found home.

[Scene changes to the Citadel Cemetery. Text comes onto the bottom of the screen – “Twelth Night”. Music changes – Rank 1 – “Airwave” (Extended intro)]

A darkened atmosphere surrounds this resting place as Crash, Cortex, Gadget, Daphne, Perry and Sui entered the area dressed in black, and with four bunches of flowers between them. They went through the 20ft gates one by one and made steady progression among the fog-ridden path to the back of the graveyard. Then they came across a set of recent graves, and a bunch of flowers were laid at each one – for Tiko, Deksta, Hallie and Lio. They looked down at them, and they spoke.

(Music fades away)

Crash: Well there goes one important part of our lives.
Sui Do Ken: But thinking of it this way at least that’s one less threat that the planet has – or four if you include the lot.
Perry: Yeah – I feel that working with them was the stupidest thing I have ever done.
Gadget: But cheer up – all you have to do now is to get on with your life. He’s gone now.
Perry: (sighs) I guess you’re right.
Cortex: Don’t panic though – you should know how I feel about them. They’re my siblings, but despite the fact that I like them as much as a painful headache, they were part of a family.
Daphne: Speaking of a family… (turns to Perry) Perry, if you need to love, I’ll be by your side.

[Music restarts – Five – “Closer To Me” (Intro)]

Perry: But what about me getting you drunk – does that count as a downside?
Daphne: That’s all behind us. All that lies now is the future. :D

(Music kicks into the chorus)

They held hands… and eventually embraced each other. Then the lips made contact, and everyone else around them glanced at them with a reassuring smile. They now know that Perry Possum and Daphne Dingo will be happy together.

(Music kicks into the outro)

Daphne: I would like to welcome you… to the Crash Archipelago.
Perry: (pauses for a while, but then reacts) Thanks. :)

They glanced at each other’s eyes for about three seconds, still holding each other’s hands. That was until…

(Music stops)

Crash: (rushes up to Daphne) Oh, I forgot to tell you this – I was forced to buy the beer on the way back, so I got… (reveals a bottle of his chosen beverage) 42 full crates of… SOULSTORM BREW!!! :D

[Music restarts – Sum 41 – “Fat Lip” (Intro)]

After hearing that Daphne ran out of the cemetery, screaming her head off!!!

Perry: Hoo boy… here we go again!

She went through the gates at a blistering speed, making her pace away from the beer of dread. But with that aside, we may see that, even if she was feeling a bit lonely as a member of the Star Katz, Daphne has now found a new love in her heart, and this will last for time to come… and it will eventually fill the space… of the now long-forgotten Tiko Cortex.

(Daphne steps over the camera, making the screen turn black. From there the credits run alongside Gorillaz feat. D12 and Terry Hall – “911”)

~O.o~

Credits –

Cast (in order of appearance) –

Jennifer Lopez as Daphne Dingo
Damon Albarn as Perry Possum and the dream figure
Alexa Vega as Copper Oxide
Mel Gibson as Madison Brio
Lucy Liu as Sui Do Ken
Cameron Diaz as Gadget Medulla
Clancy Brown as Dr. Neo Cortex
David Spade as Crash Bandicoot
Toni Braxton as Sara Foster and Deksta Cortex
Tom Hanks as Foxy The Fox
Glenn Close as Fooxy The Fox
Matt Stone as Rocky Cortex
Dana Gould as Tiko Cortex
Jake Lloyd as Private Boron
Claire Danes as Hallie Cortex
Neil Morrissey as Lio Cortex
Harrison Ford as Kalam

Songs –

“Especially For You” performed by Kylie Minogue and Jason Donovan
“Mambo No 5” © Bob The Builder
“In The End” performed by Linkin Park
“8 Days of Xmas” performed by Destiny’s Child
“Hey Baby” © DJ Otzi
“In Too Deep” performed by Sum 41
“Gotta Get Thru This” performed by Daniel Bedingfield
“Fight Music” performed by D12
“Closer To Me” performed by Five
“911” performed by the Gorillaz, D12 and Terry Hall

Special thanks –

Dr Neo Cortex II
SSJ4Trunks8767
Jeff F
YCrAsH13
CoolKidCoco
Shenloken
Vector Yamazaki
Fluffysweetie87
Kitty Coot
Baztech
Electricgold Unlshed
MRacer
SSJCrestGFX
Crystal Bandicoot
Stormy

No dingoes were harmed during the making of this fanfic

A few criminals, but no dingoes.

Directed by Bev Wooff (Ms RexRock)

THE END?
*******************************
OUT-TAKES OF THE STORY

Sui Do Ken rushed upstairs into Daphne’s bedroom, and as she opened the door a tip full of Page 3 magazines fell on her feet. She kicked them out of the road. Then… she saw an empty bed, and a piece of scrap paper. She picked it up, and saw a message.

“To the rest of the Star Katz…

I’m afraid that I have left your group. There is something that I am missing right now, and I’m on the hunt for what it is.

Hope you understand,
Daphne
xxx

P. S. I still love you guys as much as heck right now. I’ll never forget you.”

Sui Do Ken: (shocked) Oh… my… God!!!

She ran straight towards the door, but… she didn’t run into the Eminem poster – instead she tripped over a chair and slammed through the floor, leaving a big hole on the floor!

Director: CUT! Sui, are you OK?
Sui Do Ken: (from “downstairs”) Nothing hurts me as such. I presume your carpenters didn’t do a good job on the studio furnishings, didn’t they?
Director: o_O()
*******************************
Among the background of powder blue fabric, one young hand came from the right, and a second came from the left, with a golden ring in possession. It slipped it on the index finger of the right, and went off the screen.

(Camera follows the hand as it goes further up)

The hand can now be seen higher up in elevation, and is level with the face on its body – Gadget Medulla, all dressed up in a white nightgown and sitting in a four-poster bed. She glared at the ring, and smiled.

Gadget: Oh, thank you so much – it’s beautiful!!! :)

She made a loving glance to her right, seeing Dr. Neo Cortex in the same bed as her. Within the time, he smiled back.

Gadget: This is just sooooooooooo unbelievable… er, where did you get it?
Cortex: Gadget, I have a confession to make.
Gadget: (tries to take the ring off) Go on. Tell… (sighs and pulls the ring, but it STILL doesn’t come off) Can we cut? The ring’s stuck!
Director: Just hang on! (calls out to everyone behind him) Quick – we need a lubricant here!
Dumb worker: A lubri-what?
Director: Just fetch the washing up liquid. _
*******************************
Tiko: (on the phone) Daphne… Daphne… that name sounds soooooo familiar.
Perry: How? Was she a school friend of yours?
Tiko: (on the phone) I wish. Now listen to me – if I can-

*CLICK* *BEEEEEEEEEEP*

Perry: Damn – ‘e’s hung up! >:
Tiko: (from backstage) I thought YOU did – someone’s cut our line!
*******************************
Perry: I got the chocolates. (shows the Turkish Delights)
Daphne: Yummy! (takes one) Thank you Perry!
Perry: No problem. (looks vile)

As she brought it over to her mouth, Perry had a keen smile on her face that she might eat it and get poisoned. But as soon as it reached her mouth… she sniffed it

Daphne: A Turkish Delight? All this for a Turkish Delight? Grrr…

She tried to toss it in the bin, but it reflected it off, and it went straight up her mouth! Before she could swallow it she spat it out!

Director: CUT! What’s wrong???
Daphne: I HATE TURKISH DELIGHTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Perry and the Director: o_O()
*******************************
Perry: How are you doing?
Daphne: I’ve missed a lot of boxes… but wait – that crate! It gets rid of all the nitro boxes!
Perry: Go for it!

After jumping off the jeep, she saw a green crate with an exclamation mark on it, with the warp portal over the bridge. She spun it, and it caused an explosion in the background, as well as seeing the gem being brought down for her. She picked it up, and as she did she went through the warp portal… and – after a while of loading - came out into the warp room with that… but no crystal!!! Perry just glanced at her with an angry look on his face.

Daphne: Er, um… I think I missed it… er… ehehe… er… whoops. (blushes)
*******************************
Tiko: Right guys – we’ve come across Crash and his lot, and this means it’ll be a bit of a struggle to get the dingo where we want her. Any ideas?
Hallie: Why don’t we just go down there and beat her right up?
Deksta: Always the hard way, eh Hallie?
Hallie: Shut up Daxter, or else I’ll send Jak on ya!
Lio: Ladies, please – don’t get in a brawl now-

Just then Electricgold Unlshed came in with a flamethrower and started attacking them!!!

Lio: (fear-stricken) It’s because he doesn’t like his favourite PS2 game being accused that badly!!!
*******************************
Voice: (from a distance) WHOO!!!!!!!
Cortex: (turns around) Is that…? No… it can’t be.
Voice: (from a distance) WHOO!!!!!!!
Sui Do Ken: What on Earth’s that – the bloomin’ Ghost Train? :|
Voice: (from a distance, and is now a bit louder) WHOO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cortex: No wait – it’s a bit clearer now… I know who it is!!!!!

And just after he finished speaking a black figure on all fours charged… but missed Cortex’s belly and went straight through the back doors of the Opera House!!!

CRASH!!!!

Copper: (tries to look away) Ouch… >_<
Director: CUT!
*******************************
Crash: You won’t get away with this, you stupid moron!!!
Tiko: Sorry Crash, but I already have done! (turns to Perry and Kalam) Let’s go.
Perry: Ready when you are!

As they left, they took Daphne with them, in a state of unconsciousness. Kalam went up to a lever next to the double doors.

Kalam: So long Crash Bandicoot – it’s NOT been nice knowing you!

He flipped the switch… but it broke off into his own hand!

Kalam: (stares into it) Hoo boy…
*******************************
Daphne: Where the heck am I? And what’s goin’ on?
Voice: I suppose those are your last words, huh?
Daphne: Eh? Who said that?

Out from another double door came Tiko and his crew, all looking as vile as they ever have been.

Daphne: Grrr… what do you want with…

SNAP!!!

The iron straps broke and she fell down to the floor with a scream. Then she picked up a part of it and glanced at it.

Daphne: Hey, this isn’t iron – it’s graphite, you script-writing twerps!!!
Director: (sighs) This’ll be the last time I’m gonna hire Ripper Roo for the DIY. (rolls his eyes)
*******************************
As the twelve of them walked along the horizon with long shadows trailing behind them, Perry emerged from behind the doors, and looked on at them with a reassuring smile. It is as that love has returned to him for good.

Perry: (in a faint and deep voice) You guys have worked hard… hope you’re ready to play hard. ;)

But as he made his way back inside the aircraft… the door closed on him, trapping his nose!!!

Perry: Ooh… AAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! LEMME OUT!!!!!! LEMME OUT!!!!!!!!!!

From here a batch of welders tried to take him out, and within a few seconds… he emerged with some sort of iron ring on his nose.

Director: (sighs) Looks like we have to take you to a plastic surgeon before the next take…

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