Government Jokes!
SORRY TO ALL THE POLITICIANS!
A man walks into a T-Shirt store and on the walls there where three t-shirts on display for sale.
The first row had the picture of Richard Nixon with a thin white mustache and below the picture it was titled: GOT MILK
The second row of shirts were the picture of Ronald Reagan with the white mustache and it was titled: FORGOT MILK
And the third was of Monica Lewinsky with a white mustache and under her it was titled: NOT MILK
LETTER TO HEAVEN A little boy wanted $100 badly and prayed for two weeks, but nothing happened. Then he decided to write a letter to the Lord requesting the $100.
When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to the Lord, USA, they decided to send it to Former President Clinton.
The President was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5 bill. Former President Clinton thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.
The little boy was delighted with the $5 and sat down to write a thank-you note to the Lord, which read:
Dear Lord,
Thank you very much for sending me the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through Washington DC and, as usual, those jerks deducted $95
"The contagious people of Washington have stood firm against diversity during this long period of increment weather."
- M. Barry, Mayor of Washington, DC
"I promise you a police car on every sidewalk."
- M. Barry, Mayor of Washington, DC
"First, it was not a strip bar, it was an erotic club. And second, what can I say? I'm a night owl."
- M. Barry, Mayor of Washington,DC
"If you take out the killings, Washington actually has a very very low crime rate."
- M. Barry, Mayor of Washington, DC
"Bitch set me up."
- M. Barry, Mayor of Washington, DC
Q : What's the difference between Clinton and a screwdriver?
A: A screwdriver turns in screws, Clinton screws interns!
The Spelling Bee...Dan Quayle, Frank Gifford and Bill Clinton were in a spelling contest.
Unbelievably, Dan Quayle won! He was the only one of the three who knew that 'harass' was one word.
Q. How many White House Interns does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. None, they are too busy screwing the President.
Federal Bureau of Investigation
Crime Lab 2A-3356N, Wash DC
DNA Test Results: Clinton, William Jefferson
Dear Mr. Starr:
The test on the dress came back inconclusive.
Everyone in Arkansas has the same DNA.
Sorry,
The FBI
Similarities between Nixon and Clinton
Nixon: Watergate
Clinton: Waterbed
Nixon: His biggest fear - the Cold War
Clinton: His biggest fear - a Cold Sore
Nixon: Worried about carpet bombs
Clinton: Worried about carpet burns
Nixon: His Vice President was a Greek
Clinton: His Vice President is a geek
Nixon: Couldn't stop Kissinger
Clinton: Couldn't stop kissing her
Nixon: Couldn't explain the 18 minute gap in the Watergate tape
Clinton: Couldn't explain the 36-DD bra in his brief case
Nixon: His nickname was Tricky Dick
Clinton: same
Nixon: Ex-President
Clinton: Sex-President
Nixon: Known for campaign slogan "Nixon's The One"
Clinton: Known for women pointing at him saying, "He's the one!"
Nixon: Famous for his widow's peak
Clinton: Famous for bringing widows to their peak
Nixon: Well acquainted with G. Gordon Liddy
Clinton: Well acquainted with the G Spot
Nixon: Took on Ho Chi Minh
Clinton: Took on Ho
Nixon: Talked about achieving peace with honor
Clinton: Talked about getting a piece while on her
