Characters:

 

Shadow the Hedgehog

Sonic the Hedgehog

Amy the Hedgehog

Knuckles the Echidna

Rouge the schoolteacher

Tails the schoolteacher

Dr. Eggman (the Chao kindergarden Janitor)

Various Chao

Pendant the really powerful Chao (dark immortal chaos chao. Stats at lv. 99),

Ganondorf.

 

*          *          *

 

 

Narrator: Okay. Shadow has just fallen from the space colony and is presumed dead. Yet he has actually landed on planet Earth in a less than welcoming place…

 

Booger the Chao: What is it?

 

Lumpkin the Chao: I don’t know. It looks like it’s not from around here.

 

Booger: What do you expect? It fell from the sky!

 

Lumpkin: Shh! It’s moving!

 

Shadow: Ugghh… where am I?

 

Booger: Chao World.

 

Shadow: You things have your own world?

 

Lumpkin: What did you just call us?

 

Shadow: I called you… a "thiiiiiiing".

 

Booger: (whispering to Lumpkin) Maybe we should call Pendant…?

 

Lumpkin: Not yet. I’m having WAY too much fun.

 

Rouge: *Walks into the Chao Neutral garden and talks to Booger and Lumpkin.* Y’all come to school now. We have a guest today!

 

Booger and Lumpkin: Yay!

 

*A little while later, at the Chao Kindergarden*

 

Rouge: This spiky thing that fell from the sky, called a hedgehog, is going to be our guest today! We will learn how to sing and Go-Go dance with him! Are you all ready? Here comes Shadow the hedgehog!

 

Shadow: (walks in looking confused) What…?

 

Class of Chao: Sing!

 

A Chao from the Class: Blow Bubbles!!!

 

Rouge: Oops! Looks like I have a message from Tails. You Chao go along learning with Shadow and I’ll be back in a minute. Have fun!

 

Pendant the Chao: (walks up to Shadow) You’re so doomed to stay with us, you know.

 

Shadow: *rolls his eyes* I sort of figured that out. What harm could you do to me?

 

Pendant: Play with us.

 

Shadow: No. Look here, buddy. I’m bigger than you. You’re about two inches tall. I could easily hurt you.

 

Pendant: Play with us.

 

Class of Chao: (all stare at Shadow)

 

Pendant: Ready, everyone? Remember what I taught you! Kick, Kick, Punch! Kick, Kick, Punch! Kick, Kick, Punch!

 

Shadow: (gets beaten up by the Chao) No! Stop! Play time is over!

 

Rouge: (walks in. Automatically, the class of Chao calm down and start petting Shadow and singing. Rouge smiles) Lets see… how many Chao did I say we had in this class? Oh! 45! Okay. (Rouge walks out)

 

Shadow: 45…?

 

Class of Chao: (resume kicking and punching Shadow)

 

*Another little while later, in the Chao Neutral Garden*

 

Shadow: (walks up to a sleeping Pendant)

 

Pendant: (talking in his sleep) No! Mommy! I said soup, not mashed potatoes!

 

Shadow: Hmm…

 

Pendant: (continues talking in his sleep) No! NO! The Fairy Princess! It’s after me again!!! Ahhhhhh! It’s picking flowers! Somebody do something! Please water the plant!

 

Shadow: I’m a big evil monster and I’m here to eat you!

 

Pendant: Not now. Ahhh! The Fairy Princess! Mashed potatoes! The horror! THE HORROR! Someone flush the toilet! No, no big stupid monster. You’re a Fairy Princess. The Horror! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!! … *gasp* huh… *gulp*… *gasp*… where was I? Oh yeah. I was watching the golf channel.

 

Shadow: (Takes a few steps back and talks to a nearby Chao. His name is Zell) What type of Chao is Pendant?

 

Zell: A fifth degree black belt.

 

Shadow: A fifth deg… a WHAT?! Why didn’t you tell me this before!?

 

Zell: I forgot.

 

Shadow: Oh. What a thing to for-! If a subject’s density is completely dependent on the object’s mass per unit volume, then what is the formula for energy?

 

Zell: Chaocolate chip cookies!

 

Shadow: How old is Pendant?

 

Zell: Two.

 

Pendant: (wakes up and spots Shadow) YOU ARE THE EVIL FAIRY PRINCESS!!! You haunt me in my dreams! How dare you! I… despise… Fairy Princesses!

 

Shadow: I’m no fairy princess!

 

Pendant: Yes, you are.

 

Shadow: No, I’m not!

 

Pendant: You dare argue with me? (kicks Shadow)

 

Shadow: I heard you’re a fifth degree black belt.

 

Pendant: I am.

 

Shadow: Well, I’m a TENTH degree black belt! Haha!

 

Pendant: (thinks for a second) And I’m a dead fish.

 

Shadow: There’s no possible way you’re a… a what?

 

Pendant: What? You didn’t hear me the first time when I said I WAS A FIFTH DEGREE BLACK BELT! That means you weren’t listening! (kicks Shadow) … You need a makeover.

 

Shadow: I need a what?

 

Pendant: You heard me. Okay, we need a pink and white polka-dotted dress, green lipstick, pink fairy wings, nails, purple nail polish, a blonde wig, eye shadow, mascara, and high heels! Chao, get to it!

 

*An hour and a half later, still in the Neutral Garden*

 

Pendant: There. Now you look like a fairy princess.

 

Shadow: (groans. He’s currently dressed up in fairy princess clothing. With make-up and everything.)

 

Booger: Pendant! It’s time for your battle in the Chao Stadium! Who do you wanna go against?

 

Pendant: The fairy princess!

 

*In the Chao Stadium*

 

Announcer (which is Zell): In the far left-hand corner, a Chao weighing two pounds and being a fifth degree black belt at the age of two, our very own Pendant! Pendant’s favorite food is fairy princesses!

 

Audience: (Cheer)

 

Zell: In the far, um, very far right-hand corner of the arena sits a 249 pound, err, scratch that, I misread it... a 24.9 pound iguana! Just kidding. A 24.9 pound fairy princess that things she's a male hedgehog! "His" name is Shadow.

 

Audience: (stare)

 

Narrator: Out of nowhere, Ganondorf appears.

 

Ganondorf: Uh, where am I?

 

Shadow: Chao World. Escape while you can!!!

 

Pendant: Look! My second favorite food! A ballerina! (Pendant and his pals give Ganondorf a makeover)

 

Ganondorf: (gets kicked by Pendant) What was that for?

 

Pendant: I don’t know. You’re ugly. Either way. Go away before I eat you.

 

Ganondorf: (shrugs and walks away, his dress swaying in the wind)

 

Shadow: Wait! What’s your name?

 

Ganondorf: It’s now Ganondorfanina! But you can call me Nina. (for the story’s sake, we’ll just call him Ganondorf)

 

Pendant: Now, back to the fairy princess issue.

 

Shadow: I am not a fairy princess!

 

Pendant: Yes, you are.

 

Shadow: No, I’m not!

 

Pendant: Then why are you wearing those clothes. Oh - by the way - do not break a nail, or else!

 

Shadow: (Hides his hands behind his back)

 

Pendant: Why are you hiding your hands behind your back?

 

Shadow: No reason. (scratches his head, then figures out his mistake) Oops.

 

Pendant: (kicks Shadow) I need NAIL POLISH!

 

Crowd of Chao: (all raise their hands and offer different colored nail polish)

 

Pendant: Ahh! That’s a pretty color. Good Shadow. Now don’t do that again! (kicks Shadow) Now let’s start this thing!

 

Shadow: (walks up to Pendant and tries to kick him)

 

Pendant: (begins spin kicking, power punching, and attacking Shadow to death)

 

Shadow: Hey, wait a minute. I just noticed this… you look like me.

 

Pendant: (kicks Shadow) No. You look like me.

 

Zell: It looks like Shadow is taking a real beating! Oh my! Look at this, everyone! Pendant has just turned three, and is officially a Grand Master! Let’s all cheer him on!

 

Audience: (cheer)

 

Zell: What have you got to say, Pendant?

 

Pendant: I eat fairy princesses for breakfast!

 

Zell: That’s nice. Let’s now take a break!

 

*During the break*

 

Shadow: (looks behind him and sees a new baby Chao that was recently born) I heard all baby Chao are born as first degree black belts. When were you born?

 

Baby Chao: Two minutes ago.

 

Shadow: When did you become a first degree black belt?

 

Baby Chao: Two minutes ago.

 

Shadow: How old are you?

 

Baby Chao: Two minutes ago.

 

Shadow: … okay… What’s your name?

 

Baby Chao: (after a short pause) Three minutes ago.

 

Narrator: That was a sad, sad, joke.

 

Shadow and the Baby Chao: *shrug*

 

*After the break*

 

Zell: We are back in the Ring! Shadow looks like he could use a little help. His clothes are in wonderful shape, even if his face isn’t. Pendant is doing wonderful as usual!

 

Pendant: (kick, kick, punch. Kick, kick, punch. Kick, kick, punch) You’re a pathetic fairy princess.

 

*Meanwhile, at the house of Pendant’s mom*

 

Ganondorf: Thank you for having me over, miss lady Chao. You know, I’m considered very evil when I’m not in my ballerina clothes.

 

Pendant’s mom: Yes… but have you heard from Pendant what my favorite food is?

 

Ganondorf: (begins to get up) No…

 

Pendant’s mom: Take a wild guess!

 

*Back at the Stadium*

 

Zell: Ooooh! The fairy princess looks like she needs to go to the hospital because she doesn’t seem to be in any good shape at all!

 

Lumpkin: Booger! Help me get the fairy princess to the Chao Kindergarden health center!

 

Booger: Okay! (Lumpkin and Booger tote the fairy princess to the Chao medical center, where they meet Sonic the Hedgehog)

 

Sonic: Shadow! Aren’t you supposed to be dead? Oh well, whatever. What happened to you?

 

Shadow: You don’t wanna know.

 

Sonic: Yeah I do! Tell me!

 

Shadow: If you really wanna know, go visit a Chao named Pendant and mention the word “fairy princess”.

 

Sonic: Okay.

 

*A few moments later*

 

Shadow: Hello again, Sonic.

 

Sonic: …

 

Shadow: What do you say we go back to the space colony? I don’t think anyone will mess with us there.

 

Sonic: …

 

Narrator: Both Sonic and Shadow limp back to the secret underground government warp sector and find themselves back on the Space Colony ARK. But they’re not alone.

 

Sonic: Shadow, why are you wearing those clothes?

 

Shadow: …

 

Pendant: Ah. Here you are, I’ve been looking everywhere for you, fairy princess.

 

Shadow: Heh. You’re not a black belt anymore. That’s only in your little Chao World.

 

Pendant: Wanna bet? (kicks Shadow)

 

Shadow: Ow!

 

Sonic: Shadow! Use your Chaos Control! Maybe you can do something about that chao!

 

Shadow: Oh okay! Good idea, Sonic! But… I kind of…

 

Sonic: Kind of what?

 

Shadow: Lost… the… Chaos Emerald.

 

Pendant: I ate it.

 

Shadow: You did what!?

 

Pendant: WHAT? You’re not listening again! (kicks Shadow)

 

Sonic: Man, that’s one weird Chao.

 

Pendant: (growls)

 

Sonic: What was that?

 

Pendant: Nothing.

 

Sonic: Well, sorry for asking.

 

Pendant: I would kick you, but I don’t want to ruin my shoes.

 

Shadow: You don’t even wear shoes.

 

Pendant: Would you like me to kick you again?

 

Shadow: …

 

Sonic: Wow! Look at the space colony!

 

Shadow: !!!

 

Narrator: The space colony has been re-decorated with rainbows, fluffy pink clouds, butterflies, and flowers.

 

Sonic: (pics up a flower) Oooh! Daisies!

 

Shadow: What’s wrong with this picture?

 

Pendant: What? You don’t like it?

 

Narrator: All of a sudden, the phone rings.

 

Pendant: (takes out his cell phone) Hello?

 

Pendants Mom: Pendant! Get back down on Earth, right now! Your grandmother’s here.

 

Pendant: But I was just in the middle of-

 

Pendants Mom: Now! (hangs up)

 

Shadow: *starts tiptoeing away* I… uh… *quietly* have to go to the bathroom.

 

Pendant: *spots Shadow* Where do you think you’re going?

 

Shadow: I just told you - the bathroom.

 

Pendant: No. You’re coming with me.

 

*Back on Earth*

 

Pendant's grandmother: (to Pendant) Oh you’re just the most adorable thing I’va eve’ seen! Look at you! All grown up and all… (sniffles). You’re just the most adorablest thing in the whole wide entire world! Even the space colony, too… but anyway. Come here and let grandma give you lots of kisee kisee’s! Come here! (starts walking toward Pendant, but sees Shadow) Oh! And what is this? (looks at Shadow)

 

Shadow: I’m a-

 

Pendant: Fairy Princess!

 

Pendants grandmother: Oh! A fairy princess! How ADORABLE! How BEAUTIFUL! HOW GEORGIOUS!!!!!!!! (hugs, squeezes, pets, and kisses Shadow). You, along with your little friend thare, are just so ADORABLE and all! Oh my, oh my, oh MY!

 

Shadow: But I’m not a fairy princess.

 

Pendants grandmother: You’re not a fairy princess? How dare you argue with me! (kicks Shadow). That’ll teach you.

 

Shadow: (looks at Pendant)

 

Pendant: (shrugs) It runs in the family.

 

*At the re-decorated space colony*

 

Sonic: I was waiting forever! Actually, not really. I’ve been enjoying the view of the rainbow. Um… anyway… where were you guys?

 

Shadow: You really don't wanna know. Hey, look! I found something! (looks at a computer) I wonder what this button does…? (presses the button - the space colony’s power turns off)

 

Pendant: What. Did. You. Just. Do?

 

Shadow: I… uh… *looks around guiltily* pressed… a button?

 

Pendant: And you turned the space colony’s power off while doing so…?

 

Shadow: I don’t know. (looks confused) What does it look like?!

 

Pendant: It looks like I need to kick you again.

 

Shadow: I uh… gotta go to the bathroom!

 

Pendant: Again?

 

Shadow: But I never went the first time!

 

Pendant: You know what? You’re not going anywhere. Stay here.

 

Shadow: But I really gotta go! (crosses his legs)

 

Pendant: Hold it in.

 

Amy: (appears out of nowhere) Howdy y’all! What’s going on?

 

Everyone: …

 

Amy: Oh, okay. So no one feels like talking right now. Anyway, um… just wondering… why is the power off and all?

 

Pendant: The fairy princess did it!

 

Amy: The fairy princess…? Shadow…? YAY! We’re playing dress-up! I wanna be barbie! No, never mind. I wanna be a princess! And I want Sonic to be the prince.

 

Sonic: (runs around the space colony, screaming) AHHHH! Get her away from me! She’s contagious!

 

Pendant: (looks at Amy like she might be some kind of fungus) You… you’re… contagious…? (joins Sonic as he runs around the space colony ARK) AHHHHHH!

 

Shadow: (watches from a safe distance) Maybe I could hide behind a pink fluffy cloud until the power comes back on.

 

Pendant: (runs toward the pink fluffy cloud Shadow is hiding behind and trips over him. As he does, Pendant finds a secret switch.) Oooh… look what I found.

 

Sonic: (comes running over to the same place and trips over Pendant and Shadow)

 

Amy: (climbs up the rainbow and skydives) WHEEEEEEE! (hits the ground and suffers from a head concussion) *thump* I’m okay! (gets up and sees Sonic’s hair) Sonic! Come back here! I want to pet you!

 

Sonic: (trips over the switch as he tries to get away from Amy. Instead, he runs into her.)

 

Amy: Hi Sonic! (pets Sonic)

 

Sonic: I’m not Sonic! I’m a tree! Go away! Why do you even like me! Why don’t you like Shadow?

 

Amy: I never thought of that… but…

 

Shadow: But what?

 

Amy: … I LIKE BOTH OF Y’ALL!!!!

 

Shadow and Sonic: (run around the space colony, screaming) Help US!!!

 

Amy: (for the first time, actually notices Pendant) OH MY GOODNESS! YOU ARE THE MOST CUTEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN!!!

 

Pendant: (starts to back up) Where have I heard this before…?

 

Amy: As I was saying… YOU ARE THE MOST CUTEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN! Except for maybe Sonic and Shadow… (sits down) Hmm… which one is more cuter… Sonic or Shadow?

 

Shadow and Sonic: *Gasp*

 

Amy: !!!!!!!!!!!

 

Knuckles: (walks in from nowhere) Oh man. What’s this? What’s up with all this pink fluffy stuff? This is weird. Are you guys throwing a party? Without me? How could you!

 

Amy: !!!!!!!!!!!

 

Knuckles: Uh oh. Why is Amy running toward me, screaming my name out loud?

 

Amy: KNUCKLES!!!!!!!!!!!  I LOVE YOU!!!!!!

 

Knuckles: Uh… that’s why…

 

Sonic and Shadow: (see this as a moment to escape, and run to the back door of the space colony)

 

Knuckles: Hey! Wait for me! (runs after Sonic and Shadow) What’s up with that hedgehog? She likes everyone!

 

Pendant: (runs up ahead of everyone) I don’t know what’s up with her, but she’s contagious!

 

Sonic, Shadow, and Knuckles: (getting closer to the back door. Finally, as they reach it, Shadow runs into a button and opens the door. They all jump out, fall, and end up in Chao World again)

 

Sonic: *Whew*. We lost her.

 

Shadow: Yeah… but look at where we are again.

 

Pendant: I’m home! Yay! (kicks Shadow) And I don’t have to worry about you anymore, fairy princess! I’m going to go mistreat and kick something else. I know… our school’s janitor, Dr. Eggman!

 

Booger and Lumpkin: (run up to Pendant) Yay! Let’s go get you ready for the fight against Dr. Eggman in the Chao stadium!

 

Shadow: *Whew* We lost him, too.

 

Amy: But you didn’t lose me! I have my rainbow-colored, ultra-fast unicorn!

 

Shadow and Sonic: AHHHHHH!!! (runs away with Amy chasing them on her unicorn.)

 

Narrator: In the background, Sonic and Shadow are running away from Amy, who will not give up until she feels like it (which is going to take a while). Back at the Chao Kindergarden, we see Pendant kicking Eggman in the Chao stadium.

 

Dr. Eggman: Why me…?