“It's my duty to please that booty.” – John Shaft, “Shaft”(2000)

Julio dashed down the street, flushed with success. Clutched in his hands was the battered purse that he had snatched from the old Jones lady, who went down like a twenty-pound sack of potatoes. She was rumored to have lots of money. Hopefully this would be enough to satisfy his coke dealer.

Slowing down, Julio rounded the corner into an alley, where he paused to examine his prize. He dumped out several pill bottles, a photo album full to bursting with grandchildren, and…success! a wallet. Ripping open the billfold, he saw several neat rows of twenties and fifties. Perfect. Julio yanked the bills out and began counting them.

He never saw the blow coming. The next thing Julio knew, he was on the ground, his ill-gotten gains scattered around the alleyway. Standing in front of him was a huge guy. As in enormous, humongous, gigantic. He had on leather everything, except for several gold chains and rings. His hair was up in an enormous afro.

“Oh shit,” thought Julio. Badas Mofo, the legendary detective, vigilante, and stud.

“What’s this? That purse don’t match your shoes, punk,” Badas informed Julio, sneering at the fallen criminal.

“Get out of my way, asshole,” Julio snarled, trying to be braver than he sounded. He also reached for the small pistol hidden in his back pocket.

“I ain’t goin’ nowhere, bitch,” Badas retorted. He stepped towards Julio just as the thief yanked his gun out and aimed it at the man. A sudden blinding pain filled his hand, and the gun clattered to the ground. Julio, through the pounding haze, caught a glimpse of Badas holding a smoking revolver.

“You slow, kid,” the detective chuckled. Julio felt himself being hoisted up by the collar. His feet hung well above the ground as he looked in the eyes of his assailant. Julio knew he was in really deep shit now, but all he could do was stutter and gurgle.

“Young punk, hm? Ain’t worth killing you. I’m takin’ you down to the station. Maybe a few months as Bubba’s bitch will set you straight.”

“Y-y-y-yes s-s-s-sir,” Julio stammered. “Th-th-th-thank you, s-s-s-sir…”

Badas snorted, holstered his gun, picked up the errant money and purse, and set off down the street. A few minutes later, he arrived at Prescient 69, where he dropped the punk on the floor and set the purse and money gently down on the desk.

The desk sergeant shook his head as two officers guided the trembling Julio away. “Can’t you do things the easy way?”

“That was the easy way, fool,” Badas growled. “He ain’t gonna do shit ever again. One less for you and me. Leaves you more time to fill out your damn paperwork and me to chase after some fine ass.”

With that, Badas turned and strode out of the prescient. Speaking of fine ass, that new neighbor looked like she was lonely. Maybe she could use some company…

Badas started off as a joke after Jaek, the ST for one of our campaigns, complained that my character at the time (Rachel) was too wimpy. A few days later I came back with this gentleman, and he's served as a reoccuring gag for our RPG-ing friends. I've never played Badas in a campaign except as an NPC, but he is my favorite character for a number of reasons:
1) Jaek hates him with a passion and absolutely refuses to let me play him. Anything that drives Jaek up the wall is good ^_^
2) The idea of a short white chick playing a muscular black love machine is amusing in and of itself.
3) The fro. Gotta love the fro. It's tougher than Stygian steel armor!
4) The only character where, upon being introduced, immediately caused all four PCs to say "Oh shit" in unison.

Passions:
Seduce the ladies (Lust) 5
Stop crime...my way (Defiance) 3
Scare others with my reputation (Pride) 2