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Battles: Note: Teal Indicates Webmaster text. Note: This battle was inspired by an IRC battle. Battle 25: YAY4FILLERS Location: #pokebattles Player: GigaVirus Who to torture, who to toture. mr_sir: PICK ME! Did you here something? Naw. Hmm.. CowMan torture would be unoriginal. True r_sir: HELLO! OVER HERE! PICK MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! That voice again. Just the wind. I suppose, now I already did Deb and Skyler, and I did a Ditto battle. mr_sir: PLEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAASE PICK ME! Ok now that voice is starting to freak me out. Ignore it. Anywho, perhaps a Storm runion battle? mr_sir stabbed him self! mr_sir: See? sir toture is funny! That voice is starting to creep me out. Yes it is. And, why is there a pool of blood over there? Probably some rift thingie, your did get trapped in Blood Version you know. True, but back to the problem at hand. Who should I toture? mr_sir: Thats it, time to resort to violence! mr_sir kicks GIGA in the... urrh. AREA, you know, that place, *wink wink* Narrator, don't ever, EVER touch me there again. But it wasn't me. Sure, I bet your just saying that so you don't get another Sexual Harrasment offence. That was an accident! Sure, sure. mr_sir: *sob* Why won't you listen to me? WHY?! WHY?! ... You know, I'm begining to think there somone else in here. Perhaps it was that person that.... did that thing. Now your just being naive. Just admit that you have problem. I DO NOT HAVE A PROBLEM! And why didn't you care I did that? Very simple, this is #pokebattles is just a chat room its not like you can feel anything. mr_sir punched himself in... that area. You know what I'm talking about. mr_sir also tore open his chest and let his organs pour out! mr_sir: See? *hack* mr_sir torture is *cough* fun. Pain. Much pain. There's that voice again. Oh its nothing, just the wind and the sense of Halloween making you skweemish. I guess. mr_sir: I QUIT! *** mr sir_has left #pokebattles DUO: Umm Giga. Yes? DUO: I think mr_sir is trying to tell you something. Oh? I had him on ignore, oh well, I'm sure it wasn't important. The events of this story are fiction. The names have been not been changed so I can make fun of them. Following the events of this story, the following people recieved the following punishments. mr_ sir was laughed at. Giga was praised for being himself. And the End Narrator can now be seen in his giant estate, donated by Giga Corps. Comment on Battle #25. Battle 24: The Hiring: Part 2: Sponsor needed and I'm a jerk. Location: Eclipse HQ Player: GigaVirus Put down all of Eclipse characters for a moral boost, check. Whats next? WE need a SPONSOR! Right. Whose first? MARTHA STUART! Oh goody, so what can you do? MARTHA: Well I can SING WITH ALL THE COLORS OF A FRUITSTRIPE! WOULDN'T that be rather DIFFICULT? Guards. GUARDS jump MARTHA! MARTHA: YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME, I'M MARTHA STUART! I AM INVINCIBLE! I CAN NOT BE HARMED BY A JERK SUCH AS YOU! MARTHA is DRAGGED away! Whose next- FOLLOWERS: opera opera UHHHH... Urrrh FOLLOWERS: opera opera That them? I BELIEVE SO. FOLLOWERS: OPERA OPERA! OPERA: Greetings, I am the Opera, the Opera has heard that you require a sponsorship. Riiight, so what are you offering? OPERA: I am willing to offer you my services, I can draw huge amounts of my fans to you. I don't think we require your "unique" services right now. OPERA: Do not defy the Opera, for the Opera knows where you live. Get out of here. OPERA: You haven't seen the last of me you jerk! OPERA walks away! Next. HAPPY MAN: Hello So, what is your opinion on our site? HAPPY MAN: Well it is ever so nice, but it could use some more learning activities and a more happy atmosphere. Your satan aren't you?| HAPPYMAN transformed into SATAN! SATAN: CURSE YOU GIGA! BUT YOU HAVE NOT SEEN THE LAST OF ME! YOU WILL DRY IN HECK FOR THIS YOU JERK! SATAN poofles AWAY! Why do we attract the freaks? It says "Home of the Infected Elf"what did you expect would with a sign like THAT! Point. Anyway, whose next? Thats everyone. You mean thats all the applications we got? Yes. Well then I guess we'll have to make some budgets cuts! No! I will start with only giving you enough capital letters to use on Names and the begining of Sentences! This will be in effect *scrolls up* 10 lines. Jerk. I try. One more thing. Yes? The Crtique will now be suing you. NOOOOOO! Will Eclipse Version get of its budget? Will it be sued even more often? Will I shut- HE CUT MY PAY CHECK! THAT JERK! Comment on Battle #24 Recap: After being kicked out of Blood Version GigaVirus returned to a world in chaos,with the webmaster gone there was no form of goverment, just anarchy. With GigaVirus's return the Webmasters has decided to restart Eclipse Version. Battle 23: The Hiring Part 1: SERIOUS IS BAD! Location: School Room Player: GigaVirus Hello characters, the webmaster has instructed me, after a very long Hiatus, to restart the version. CRICKET: Woohoo Thank you for you enthuisasm. In order to optimize our "humor" level we shall have you each take a test to determine you personality's, these will help us make fun of you, take stereotypes seriously, and increase our overall "humor" level. Any questions? ALL:... Good. Now each take a test and be careful, these tests will determine the rest of your, pitful, minscule little lives. MITCH: How does telling you what a blot looks like determine our fates? SILENCE! MITCH: You can't tell me to- *WHAM* SILENCE is beating the CRAP out of MITCH! SILENCE: I DISRESPECT YOU! ^_^ SILENCE ran away! Anymore comments? ALL:... Good, now begin. PLAYER: Daragen Extra's corpse, extra's corpse.... hmm... this a toughy.. WHY don't you YOU just RIGHT down the same ANSWER as the LAST one? Fool, don't you know how much pain and effort went into these answers? RIGHT... PLAYER: Mitch ... HELLO? ... ANSWER ME! ... DAMN IT! ... OH wait, your a corpse, WHOOPS ^^; PLAYER: DARKROJIN Sponsor, sponsor, and sponsor. SUCK-UP detected! QUITE YOU! Don't you know that my family is poor and requires constent donations? YOUR parents are major Microsoft Stock Holders. LIES ALL LIES! Idiot. Meanwhile... LOCATION: Eclipse Check-in Station PLAYER: Zazu WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'M NOT LEGALLY PART OF THIS VERSION?! CLERK: You aren't, you belong in Red Version. But thats 50 years in the future, and I changed history, I shouldn't even exist. ... You just had to say that didn't you? PARADOX appeared! AW CRAP! PORTAL to HELL appeared! FLASHFIRE: MINE! FLASHFIRE stole the PARADOX! FLASHFIRE: You'll be hearing from my lawyer. WEBMASTER: THATS IT! YOUR GOING TO RED VERSION NOW! But- WEBMASTER: GET IN THERE! *WHAM* A CUTE LITTLE GIRL looks at ZAZU menacingly! Mommy. Location: School Room Player: GigaVirus Pass up your tests, your done. DARKROJIN: I'm not done. Are you questioning me? DARKROJIN: Of course I am. Why should you get to control us its not like your the web- SILENCE! *WHAM* SILENCE: I DISRESPECT YOU! ^_^ Any takers? ALL:... Thought so. Now according to the machine your all WORTHLESS PITIFUL APPENDAGES TO ECLIPSE VERSION! You all make me sick. Hello, you have reached the End Text Narrator, I'm not currently here right now since Eclipse is on Hiatus so please leave a message after the beep! *BEEP* Comment on Battle #23 Click here to read Eclipse FanFic #2 Battle #22:The Adventures of El Valentino! Location: IRC Chatroom Player: Deb NO YOU SHUTUP! SKYLER: NO YOU! YOU! CRIMSONKING: How long have they been doing this? MATTCHU: Awhile, right when they came in. SKYLER: YOU SHUT UP! NO YOU! GIGAVIRUS: WILL SOMEONE MAKE THEM SHUT UP! WHISTLING is HEARD in the DISTANCE! Skysky do you here a strange whistling sound in the distance that signals that something is going to hit the ground in this vicinity? SKYLER: No but it sounds like something is going to hit the ground. Skysky -_-; EL VALENTINO hit THE ground! GROUND wants TO fight! EL VALENTINO used HEART ATTACK! GROUND only wants TO be HAPPY! Shouldn't there be some puns? o.o; ECLIPSE VERSION is ON a BUDGET! Oh. SKYLER: Who are you? EL VALENTINO: I am EL VALENTINO tino tino tino! Whats with da echo? EL VALENTINO: THATS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS! Meanie ;_; EL VALENTINO: I AM HERE TO DO umm.. THINGS! SKYLER: What are these "things"? WEBMASTER does NOT wish TO be POUNDED by YOUR RL COUNTER-PARTS by SAYING them! SKYLER: You do relize by saying that he will be pounded right? ... SILENCE! Thats it I'm leaving we don't have to put up with this right Skysky? SKYLER: YEAH! NARRATOR flashes PICTURE of BOUND&GAGED VIVI plushie! NO! I'll be good... GOOD! EL VALENTINO: Now I shall fix the "THING" that is wrong! But there is nothing wrong. o_o; EL VALENTINO: I THINK I NEED A SECOND OPINION! WHISTLING sound CAN be HEARD! Why don't I like the sound of that o_o? GUESS! SKYLER: Uh oh. EL VALENTINA fell ON a RED MINI-VAN! You wrecked Jason's car o_o NARRATOR thought JASON drove a SPORTS CAR! He does, that was his other car. Oh. EL VALENTINA: NOW WHAT SEEMS TO BE THE PROBLEM? SKYLER: Mam, there isn't any problem. EL VALENTINA: UMMM....I'M A GUY! You mean your name is El Valentina and your a guy? Thats not right.. EL VALENTINA's MORALE greatly FELL! EL VALENTINA stole JASON's CAR in its MORLAE CRISIS! EL VALENTINA drove OFF a cliff! SKYLER: Jason's not gonna like dat o_o. EL VALENTINO: You destroyed my slave and ruined my hair! Now you shall pay! EL VALENTINO wants TO fight! WAH! Its no fair everybody wants to hurt me ;_; EL VALENTINO: NO! Don't cry its very painful! SKYSKY ATTACK WHILE HE'S DISTRACTED >8D! EL VALENTINO: Uh oh. SKYLER used WHIRLWIND PUNCH! EL VALENTINO flew OFF a CLIFF! YAY! We won Skysky now give me a hug ^_^; DEB huggled SKYLER! SKYLER: Deb I can't breathe! DEB's attack CONTINUES! SKYLER's back is SNAPPING! SKYLER: Stop... SKYLER reached BREAKING POINT! SKYLER was SNAPPED in HALF! Whoops o_o; VIVI PLUSHIE appeared! Vivi I snapped Skyler in half again o_o VIVI PLUSHIE: Again? Yes o.o; VIVI PLUSHIE: I keep telling you not to huggle Skyler to death ,but no you never listen! VIVI PLUSHIE used HEAL! SKYLER was HEALED! VIVI PLUSHIE: Now I warned you not to do it ,but you didn't listen now GO TO YOUR ROOM! But- VIVI PLUSHIE: NO BUTS MISSY! DEB ran away TO her ROOM! SKYLER ran away! VIVI PLUSHIE wins! This battle neeeds no summary so shoo. Stop reading this.. GO AWAY! Wait!I didn't mean leave the site! >View/Comment on this battle Battle #21: Where water and Ice Collide! Location: Cold Town Player: CJ Oh goody a Storm Version Rip-off how fun. STORM VERSION used SUE-E! What? STAMPEDINGPIGS ran BY! STAMPEDINGPIGS ran OVER you! Owww... to many puns.. THERES more WHERE that COME from! Yay n_n;. CJ entered COLD GYM! Its... COLD? |
