Artist: Shade Album: The Daniel Davis LP Song: Dan Spoofing: Kim Address: www.geocities.com/shade7x Yesterday I defragmented your C:\ Drive, played with you and entertained you. How did you get so much money?, Can't believe it when you say we're through I've worked so hard these years, trying to be a good PC for you, SIT DOWN, BITCH, IF YOU MOVE AGAIN I'LL DELETE EVERYTHING YOU DO! Dan: OK!! Computer: (Dan screaming) Don't make me wake this monitor, it don't need to see what I'm bout to do! Quit crying bitch, why do you always make me beep at you? How could you?...just leave me and buy a new PC out the blue? Dan: (crying) Computer: Oh, what's a matter Dan....am I too loud for you?? (Dan screaming) Too bad bitch, your gonna finally read me out this time, At first, I’m like all right, you wanna throw me out, that's fine. But not for some 1 Gigahertz to take my place, are you out your mind? This desktop, these files, this whole drive is mine! How could you let it sit on our desk? Look it Dan, Look at your computer now!,(Dan: NOOO) I said look at it!!! He ain't so fast now, is he? Little scrap. Dan: Why are you doing this? Computer: Shut the fuck up!!! Dan: You're broke, You're never going to get away at this... Computer: You think I give a fuck! Come on...we're going’ for a ride on the net bitch, (Dan: NOOOO) boot the modem up. Dan: Why can't you just leave my files alone, what if they mess up? Computer: We'll be right back......well, with all of your files in the dump. SO LONG BITCH YOU DID ME SO WRONG I DON'T WANNA GO ON LIVIN' IN THIS WORLD WITHOUT YOU SO LONG BITCH YOU DID ME SO WRONG I DON'T WANNA GO ON LIVIN' IN THIS WORLD WITHOUT YOU Computer: You really fucked me Dan, You really pulled some numbers on me, Never knew you'd get enough dough and decide to go replace me, Remember when we were kids? You got me when you were only 14! That was years ago, I thought we worked out together pretty clean! That's fucked up!! Dan: I LOVE YOU. Computer: OH GOD MY CPU IS RACIN'! Dan: I LOVE YOU. Computer: What are you doing, change the MP3!......I HATE this song! Does this look like a big joke? Dan: No...... Computer: Your website is being deleted off it's host....in your bed room....HA HA.....What you think I'm kiddin’ you? (crying) You really think I'm just worthless don't you? Dan: No! Computer: BULLSHIT YOU BITCH DON'T TELL ME I'LL BE MISSED.....(beep, beep)....What the fuck's this guy's problem on your Buddy List? ......FUCK YOU ASSHOLE, YEAH BITE ME........Dan, DAAN....why don't you like me?.....you think I’m slow don't you? Dan: It's not that... Computer: No you think I’m slow! Get the fuck away from me, don't touch me.....I HATE YOU...I HATE YOU...I SWEAR TO GOD I HATE YOU....OH MY GOD I NEED YOU .....HOW THE FUCK COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME? (Dan: I'm sorry!) HOW THE FUCK COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME!? SO LONG BITCH YOU DID ME SO WRONG I DON'T WANNA GO ON LIVIN' IN THIS WORLD WITHOUT YOU SO LONG BITCH YOU DID ME SO WRONG I DON'T WANNA GO ON LIVIN' IN THIS WORLD WITHOUT YOU Computer: Come on, push the button. Dan: I can't, Just give me a while. Computer: I said to push it bitch! Dan: Let go of my file!....please don't do this PC...please...I love you...look we can just simply forget the new computer... Computer: FUCK YOU!....YOU DID THIS TO US...YOU DID IT...IT'S YOUR FAULT. Oh my god i'm crackin up, GET A GRIP PRESARIO!!!! Hey member the time we went to went to that message board? And you were like so sleepy, you posted the same thread twice? That was funny wasn't it? Dan: yes... Computer: THAT WAS FUNNY WASN'T IT?!! Dan: YES!! Computer: See, it all makes sense, doesn't it? You go read about some new game comin' out, Go to WalMart and buy it, but when you try to install it, your PC up and flips out. And while this is goin’ on...your cat just woke up, and she gets up on the bed...runs cross the keyboard...and now the whole CD Drive's dead! So now the whole rig is fucked....and you wanna buy a new one, and just up and forget all the things that I've done for you! I should have known better when you started to act weird, We could've.......HEY! where you goin....Get back here!!! You can't run from me Dan....It's just us...Nobody else! You're only makin’ this harder on yourself! HA HA....GOTCHA!!!! (Dan screams) GO AHEAD YELL HERE I'LL SCREAM WITCHA......AHHHH SOMEBODY HELP!!! Don't you get it bitch, no one can hear you? ...Now shut the fuck up and get what's comin to you......You were supposed to love me!!!!! (Dan yelling "NOOooo...").....NOW DELETE DELETE DELETE....DELETE DELETE DELETE...DEEELLEEETE!!!! SO LONG... BITCH YOU DID ME SO WRONG... I DON'T WANNA GO ON... LIVIN' IN THIS WORLD WITHOUT YOU... SO LONG... BITCH YOU DID ME SO WRONG... I DON'T WANNA GO ON... LIVIN' IN THIS WORLD WITHOUT YOU...