Parents Must Set The Example For Kids

While I sat and watched the verbal explosion between Packers head coach Mike Sherman and Buccaneers defensive tackle Warren Sapp a couple weeks ago as they left the field, I was struck by how much the professional and collegiate games influence youth sports.

This incident and others, such as Penn State head coach Joe Paterno chasing after an official at the end of a game, have a real impact with our children, their coaches and the parents in the stands. The positive "trickle-down" impact of safer equipment, better coaching techniques, improved conditioning, healthier nutrition and advances in sports medicine can be offset by the negative conduct of fans, unsportsmanlike leadership of coaches and lack of respect by players on these highest levels of competition.

We all know that one of the biggest issues in youth sports continues to be the ever-escalating behavior of parents in the stands or on the sidelines. Just this past week here in Southern California, we had a parent attack a coach after a game because she felt her daughter hadn't played enough during the contest. What was even worse was the mother continued screaming after being arrested, that she was "coming back for more"; that the incident wasn't finished.

This is on the heels of an all-out riot a few weeks ago at a Pop Warner game in Pico Rivera, Calif., another at a AYSO soccer game last spring, the killing of a youth hockey coach a couple of years ago on the East Coast, and countless other incidents across the country.

This type of conduct is a tremendous concern for people involved in youth sports, and many youth leagues are struggling with answers to stop this epidemic of poor sportsmanship and violence.

Although there is no one, all-encompassing answer, steps are being taken by many organizations to improve the environment in which our children compete. Dr. Darrell Burnett, ( www.djburnett.com) a clinical psychologist and certified sports psychologist specializing in youth sports, has worked for many years with patients, parents and leagues to ensure a good experience for youngsters participating in sports. To that end, he has created the following parental pledge for parents of young athletes, a tool which I believe can significantly help improve the youth sports environment across the board.

Dr. Burnett invites you to copy this pledge and use it however you see fit to enhance your program:

--- I will remember that children participate to have fun, and that the game is for and about kids, not adults.

--- I will be a positive role model for my child and encourage sportsmanship by showing respect and courtesy to players, coaches, umpires and spectators.

--- I will teach my child to play by the rules and to resolve conflicts without resorting to hostility or violence.

--- I will respect the officials and their authority and will not confront them at the game.

--- I will never ridicule or yell at my child or other participants for making a mistake or losing a competition.

--- I will not engage in unsportsmanlike conduct such as booing, taunting, cursing, threats or physical assaults.

--- I will refrain from any unauthorized coaching of my child or other players during games.

--- I will teach my child that doing one's best is more important than winning.

I understand and accept the league policy that if I violate the pledge, I may be asked to leave the game. I also understand that continued violations of the pledge will result in my being banned from further attendance or games for the remainder of the season.

Please initial each item of the pledge and sign your name below.

________________________
Father/Guardian

_________________________
Mother/Guardian

______________
Date

This type of document has proven to be effective in many ways. First, it establishes a conscious effort to make the sport about the kids, not the parents. Second, it demands a clear-cut commitment for positive conduct and spells out consequences for poor parental behavior. Finally, it is a living document which can be used by coaches and administrators to remind parents of the original intent of the activity and the guidelines to which they agree to adhere.

Every child should be entitled to see this pledge so they, too, can have reasonable expectations and recourse when, or if, their parents or coaches begin embarrassing them with poor behavior from the sidelines. In fact, I think the pledge should be posted somewhere in every home where it can be absorbed and called upon, when necessary, to maintain a positive, meaningful experience throughout the season.