matt o'connor lore:

now 100% more inverted for your convenience!

the upload problem has been fixed.

this file is much too large (and his head is a trap for supermen).

i clicked. i was NOT a winner.

i hope this impresses everyone, it's a piece on how much robots hate kittens.

who loves butter? who DOESN'T!?

this may look like the jerk from the stacking animation, but really it's an anonymous pirate visitor.

"man, i really have to download the latest sauce drivers."

this is what i do in my spare time.

let's ask the ball.

astronauts dig the river rats.

"bow down before me, all beard, for i am wheat- your god!"

"how do we know it's not made of cats?"

"i am deputron. you are under arrest for being out of focus."

has this been done? yes, yes it probably has.

it is rather hard to find such an image. luckily, there is a certain ottoman corn with unparalleled searching skills(z).

updato.

estuardo!

"club it! club it!"

this really is self-explanatory.

kevin and i have been charged with a holy quest. we must, at all costs, bring about the return of leg-warmers to the nation. this is a task that will possibly bring about our deaths, but i am prepared to dedicate my life to seeing warmer-clad legs strolling about the nation's streets without fear. for more information, contact me on the AIM screen name "schnurrbot." seriously.

software piracy pirate mascot. kevin cunningham, we've found your calling.

(cookie jar) pancakes rock.

would you vote to let this thing live in your basement? no, most normal people wouldn't.

dragon attacks. expect them.

martok.

i really have no idea about this one.

this picture accompanies a recipe for a paste made from mung beans. you'd make that face, too, if you had something called mung paste in your mouth.

"mmmm..."

"monkey happy."

wearing an oversized and/or novelty hat does NOT make you clever. it makes you an ass! hatred!

"monkey want make fried toaster-oven!"

hampstar.

chu know who it is.

come on, who doesn't love this little guy? (image courtesy of vivarobotics.com!)

would you trust this man with this knife?

oh, sorry, THIS is the actual matt.

has anyone seen this man?

matt's a lifetime member.

who the hell is this man?

THE ACTUAL MATT.

[slowly shaking head]

this is a monkey-robot. i don't think it requires any more explanation than that. (courtesy of studylab.com! thanks, fellas!)

does anyone else think that this is really neat?

"she was my coconut first!"

sweeeeeeet!

matt + 23 years

matt is an elf, and he will ride a tophat-wearing slug if he wants to, dammit!

after insinuating his eighth bacon pizza, chris craftily hid behind a nearby item-carrying apparatus to watch his chaos unfold.

are these matt's parents?

"blah blah blah, i am mao, blah blah, i am also matt, blah blah blah..."

i really ought to throw a few more peppers in the ol' gumbo.

this doesn't have anything to do with matt, but it's a picture of steve and reid at nerd camp. can you spot them? they're being antisocial misfits in a society of antisocial misfits. does that make them social well-fits? (image courtesy of vassar college. thanks, boys!) "there are five people wearing yellow shirts..." good work, other steve.

"cactuuuus!"

this is a monkey attacking a half-life scientist. the scientist is played by matt, and matt won an oscar for best supporting actress as the monkey.

this is a can of peanuts that i found in my kitchen. contrary to what the can may say, it actually contains more than one peanut. i suspect this trickery is the work of matt o'connor.

how the hell can ketchup be fancy? matt o'connor looooves his fancy ketchup. (thanks to the condiment packet museum!)

this isn't matt, it's steve, but the punching still applies to matt (also, i changed the animation now, i think this way it is slightly more violent, which is good, and also slightly more ludicrous. ludicrous like the ugliness of matt's face, in a way).

this is matt in cartoon form.

this is my dog. he doesn't look like he trusts anyone because i prod him when he sleeps. and he is also matt.

and this is matt (see above for matt from a second angle).

this is what happens when i see matt o'connor. i vomit

why matt is an ass: because he is so slimy. so very slimy. when he trips, he slides. he leaves a trail, like a slug. one time my fingers were dirty from the ground, and he wouldn't lick them. i didn't want to lick my fingers that had been on the dirty ground! who does he think he is? an ass, is the answer. one time, matt tried to sell me a piece of string that he had found, but then i kicked him and he accidentally swallowed the string. it was special poison string.

I apologize for the high concentration of simian related images; they are tending towards that accursed wasteland of the hackneyed. Such a wasteland, friends, is a place that we should all strive to avoid.