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N64 Reviews

Harvest Moon 64

Graphics: The graphics for this game are about what you'd expect for the N64, so there isn't much worry there.

Gameplay: The gameplay is average. You'll find that their day lasts about 20 minutes, and that there is so much to do in that span of time, that you really do have to do everything all at once, and repeat yourself everyday or else you'll fall behind. But other than that it does have lots of special features that its sequel (Harvest Moon: Save the Homeland-PS2)does not have. Like you can build a greenhouse, you can get married and raise a baby, and the town isnt very big so you can usually get places faster. Not a bad game even though it is about farming.

Sound: Uh... this is the N64 you know. Sound gets muted sometimes if you play it all the time like I do, but other than that it's decent.

Price: The best you'll find it now is used at a gamestore that sells used games, so really the price shouldn't be more than $15.

Mischief Makers

Graphics: Well just like everything in this horrible travesty of a video game, these graphics look, how shall we say this, dated. If you are a fan of blinky lights and can't stop staring at your Christmas tree you'll love this. To say that this game has SNES graphics is to insult the SNES. this is bad, NES bad. Also, your character is a cheap futuristic Link knock off with 2 ponytails.

Gameplay: Where do I start picking this turd apart? You jump, grab, shake, and throw. Get this, your only weapon is the helpless types you are trying to save. That's right hero in the making, you pick up, rob, and throw the innocent villagers you are there to protect from an evil emperor. Call me crazy, but I don't see the emperor throwing people around.

Sound: "shake, shake." Get used to that sound. Every time you pick up and shake a poor helpless villager your character says that. The annoying SNES era sounds and music only add to the frustration of admitting you actually paid or traded for this. Luckily, we found our copy on the floor of a shed we were cleaning out.

Price: Like i said, I found it on the floor one day. This is one of those games someone got their grandson for Christmas and now inhabits the Salvation Army thrift store. Thinking cheap isn't cheap enough.

Quest 64

Dont get me wrong, I take this seriously, but I couldn't bring myself to actually play this, and Shannon blatantly refuses to admit that she played this, so all that leaves me to review is the cartridge.

Graphics: It's a nice looking sticker, a good drawing of the "questionably oriented" main character. Judging by the stark blank background of the picture, i'd surmise that the scenery is stark and barren too, a fact grudgingly confirmed by Shannon. Other than that, it's well built, sturdy and... well, gray.

Gameplay: All hope is not lost! Many fun games can be played with Quest 64! Lets see there's fetch, skeet, panning for gold, breaking small objects, chew toy, and you can build a castle out of them if you have a whole lot! It doesn't however, make a very good coaster, it's just too small for a glass, and a bit chunky. For God's sake, whatever you do, don't stick it in your N64. You can't say you weren't warned.

Sound: This is the coolest part! If you hold it up to your ear, you can hear the ocean! Or else, if you throw it at someone, and hit them in the head they'll say all kinds of funny things like "stop" or "I'll kill you" or "why did you hit me with this crappy game? now I'm tainted!"

Price: I doubt you'll find this one in a store. Check local garage sales and dumpsters. Come to our house, you can have mine for free!

Super Smash Brothers

Graphics: Where do I begin? If i were giving a number rating on this one i'd give it a pineapple. What was going on at Nintendo? I have a few theories. 1. Maybe someone was getting fired and wanted to leave a lasting impression, making people think their N64 was broken. 2. Maybe some guys had partied all night and forgot that they had a game due in the morning and came up with this in 5 minutes on a napkin so the boss wouldn't find out. 3. Maybe Sega, jealous over Nintendo's continued success, erased the graphics for this game and replaced them with something that a small child drew. Whatever happened, it happened. This game is awful to look at.

Gameplay: I would say that this one is so simple to play that you should use the broken controller to add a level of difficulty, but I'm sure someone in the target demographic of toddlers may have trouble. Here's a tip if you have a problem beating that tough character you're having trouble with, (you know the one I'm talking about) press A. Press "A" a lot. Thank me later.

Sound: This is a total rip off! The origional NES makers should sue for copyright infringement! Oh wait, that's right, never mind.

Price: I'm not even going to review that, all I'm going to say is Pikachu is in another N64 game. Why did they have trouble rendering him on this game? He looks like a yellow sponge with a sail on the back.

Last Word: I would say this is worse than Animal Crossing, but I have heard tell of people that like Animal Crossing!