My January Journal

before you read this if you don't understand this you never will and you weren't ment to... now go on and read it...

January 8/9, 2002: (Today was a 5 & the song of the day was: Aimee Mann "Save Me") I know that i've been in love but once in my life. And that although I have cared greatly for many men, my love was never returned. Maybe it is true what they say "better to have loved and lost never then to have loved at all"? Maybe they've never been alone? Well in anycase I'm holding a cigarette while writing this, but I'm not even smoking it. I haven't smoked in a long time but for some reason holding it between my fingers i feel a sense of confidence in what i'm writing or thinking for some reason. Old habits like old friendships are dying hard, but they are dying none the less. Its been a week or two since I've spoken to that one person I care all too much about. This person hates me and ignores me but still I wait. I guess I'm used to it or like it or something. because its not like I can't pick up the phone or dial the number. But its not my turn to return a promised call. So anyway what I've decided today is that I'd rather never love, then to love at all. Especially if it means loving you.

January 22, 2002: (Today was a 9 & the song of the day was: Elliott Smith "Needles in the Hay") For the past 2 nights I've been hanging out with this awesome guy named Chris. He totally rocks. And that is making me really happy. So I just figured I'd share my happiness lol. I have a class and a meeting with a professor to go to today. And I have to finish reading hamlet. This play is so annoying. I've read it now 3 times and the story isn't gonna change and I'm never gonna like it anymore then I already do. So all I can say is next book please! At some point I'll actually go to the gym and work out a bit and probably work on some homework. Sounds like fun huh?? Yep well thats my life. heheh. Till next time.

January 28, 2002: (Today was a 4 & the song of the day was: Ben Harper "Forever") Today had its share of good, really really good news and really, really bad news. We'll start with the really really bad news, my grandpa who lived in my family home for 6 years is in the hospital. It appears that he has been suffering minor strokes :( . They think he'll be all right but I'm really nervous because I'm extremely extremely close with my grandparents. So lets all make a wish or say a prayer or push some good thoughts his way for me today. Some other bad news is that I have pms... no period yet but major mood swings and cramps... not so kewl right? Now for some good news things seem to be going well with Chris. He's such a hottie and a sweetheart. I totally adore him and he makes my life so much more exciting and happy. I miss him already, lol. Other good news, I'm going on a cruise with my buddy jesska in june! I can't wait it'll be just us girls !!! So far so good in my classes and I have counseling tomorrow at 3 and an info meeting about a student news program to be made at my school. And since i know video really well and have been doing vid production for almost 3 years i thought i'd join the program so it'll give me more things to fill my schedule with. I went shopping today (good), but I ended up spending like $150 at the express (bad, very very bad!). My bank account probably has less then $100 dollars in it (really REALLY freaking bad) damn money hungry bookstore and cray teachers assigning 10 books in one class, what are they thinking. All I know is no mall at least not for the next month or so. So, if you see me heading toward the galleria or the westchester smack me please or steal my car keys or something!!!!

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here are my old February journal enteries

here are my old January journal enteries

here are my old December journal enteries

here are my old November journal enteries

here are my old October journal enteries

here are my old September journal enteries

here are my old August journal enteries

here are my old July journal enteries

here are my old June journal enteries

here are my old May journal enteries

here are my old April journal enteries

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All opinions expressed on this page are that of Bianca Brandt. No one should copy, print or reproduce anything writen here with out her concent. If you disagree with these opinions DON'T READ, and stop coming back for more!

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