The Walking Dead
The walking dead are people that have effectively stopped living even though their hearts are still beating. My mother comes to mind. Also a few snitty professors that think that their (admittedly impressive) body of knowledge is sufficient and refuse to learn more. A prof told me the other day, "If you're not satisfied with my response, you shouldn't have asked!" People like that make me so sad. What's the point of living if you shut your mind from external input?
The walking dead also do not appreciate beauty. The moment I decided to dump my ex was on a crisp Spring day. We were walking past an amazing hibiscus bush, just bursting with pink blossoms, and when I pointed it out to him, he grunted. There ya go. Walking dead.
Chloroplast Slaves
Choloroplast slaves are a special kind of walking dead that are not just completely lacking in passion but also completely lacking in integrity. They serve no purpose on earth other than to convert oxygen to CO2 so plants have something to breathe. They contribute nothing whatsoever to their own kind.
I meet them every day--at the bank, at UPS, at the optometrist. I disagree with the theory that these people are bitter because they have crappy jobs. That doesn't make the slightest difference. I worked as an admin when I was an undergrad, and I spent hours on such glamourous tasks as making photocopies, sorting mail, and alphabetizing student files. I still did a damned good job. My manager even commented, "We should hire more engineering students!"
A decent person will justify her existence, beyond being a CO2 producer for plants. If you agree to do a job, particularly if you are paid to do this job, you'd better damned well give it your all.
Once I was at UPS to pick up a package. The guy said that they package wasn't there, as the driver had taken it to my apartment to try to deliver it, despite my hold request. Could I call in and place the hold request again, and come back tomorrow?
I said, "I called yesterday to ask you to hold it so I could pick it up, since I'm not home during the day. Apparently that instruction got ignored. What will you do differently this time?" The guy just repeated himself. Could I call again and come back the next day, yadayada. No, I'd like something more. What could he do to ensure that the mistake wouldn't be repeated?
"Well, you shouldn't have had it sent to your home if you knew you wouldn't be home!"
I was appalled. "Well you have a system in place for such situations--I call in and ask you to hold it so I can pick it up. Your system failed. What can you do to fix it for me?"
"Would you like to speak with the manager?"
WTF?!?!? I wasn't trying to COMPLAIN!! I was just trying to get some action! Like how about, "Oh, I'll stick a post-it note on the delivery guy's inbox to remind him to hold a package for your name." But NOOOOOOO... so through this whole conversation, when all I was looking for was rectification, all he saw was that I was complaining, and he saw no need for himself to take action, since it's not explicitly in his job description.
That, my friends, is a chloroplast slave.
People that are Just Not Nice
No details or stories needed. Some people are just mean.
