Smozart: Wow, that guy sure is crazy!
Frunkel: That's not very funny...
Smozart: Well what they hell do you want me to say?


Smozart: Hey! That's the crazy guy. He's dressed like that guy from the cigarrette ads! Damn he's crazy!
Frunkel: I didn't know that guy's were "beautyful"...
Smozart: *sniff* are you saying I'm ugly?


Frunkel: Ms. Damien???? Doesn't she realize she's in a chick tract? Look out Suzie!
Smozart: I wouldn't trust someone named Ms. Damien in real life! She is doubley screwed!


Smozart: Oh no! Another old witch giving out "the pill" and condoms!
Frunkel: Not (que dramatically evil music) SAFE SEX!
Smozart: Ooh! That's like super-abortion! Killing the baby before it is a twinkle in daddy's eye!


Smozart: Heh Heh Heh. She said "pussy"!
Frunkel: That's an old horny woman if ever I've seen one. She even had condom's laying around to give to random people!
Smozart: You've seen horny old women?
Frunkel: It's a figure of speech dipshit!


Frunkel: Lookit that! "Do it in the dirt" on his license plate!
Smozart: Christians do it... Christians don't do it!
Frunkel: I hope Betty isn't pregnant!
Smozart: Her name is Suzie! You're GROSS!


Frunkel: Geeze, she took the pill, the guy wore a condom, and she ISN'T PREGNANT! What are the odds?
Smozart: It took her 12 days to figure that out? Talk about a procrastonator!
Frunkel: That's not funny!
Smozart: I have to say at least one thing per panel and you took the good one!



Frunkel: Oh she's got a touch of the siph!
Smozart: She has Gonorrhea stupid! Don't you know anything?


Smozart: She doesn't want what Suzie has... was she planning on having sex with Suzie any time soon?
Frunkel: NO you idiot! I think I heard that you can get VDs from toilet seats. She must have been sitting on the can!
Smozart: That would explain the spray...


Smozart: What ever happened to the crazy guy?
Frunkel: That has no relevance to the story at all!
Smozart: Kinda like this panel?


Frunkel: Wow he gets right to the point doesn't he?
Smozart: HAHAHA! You're dying and there is no cure. That's exactly what they say to you I'm sure.


Smozart: I guess it isn't enough for him to make up stuff about his own religion, now he gets to make up medical stuff too!
Frunkel: He has quite the imagination that one!


Smozart: HAHAHAHAHAHA! Sexologists.
Frunkel: Don't make fun of such a nobel profession.
Smozart: Passing out condoms? How DARE they? The last thing we want is safe sex.
Frunkel: He already explained that moron! AIDS has powers... GOD-LIKE powers!


Smozart: Oh dear! ANOTHER religious doctor?
Frunkel: What do you expect? Chick uses stock characters. Religious doctor, stupid teenager, Catholic going to hell, Muslem going to hell, Jew going to hell..


Frunkel: Uh-oh, the OLD testiment!
Smozart: Yah, the one with all the smoting and the plagues. God sure did soften up once he settled down and had children.


Smozart: God this and God that. What is with christians and God?
Frunkel: Yah, they might as well worship the guy!


Smozart: 100 bucks says that the thing that's far worse is Hell!
Frunkel: Sorry, I don't take sucker bets.


Smozart: What is taking him so long. He was real upfront about telling her she had no chance to live!
Frunkel: It's dramatic tension fool! Now shut up and ignore it!


Frunkel: And the name of that place is...
Smozart: Hell!
Frunkel: I wasn't asking you dumbass!


Smozart: Yah, schools hate everyone!
Frunkel: And they pass out condoms! DOWN WITH EDUCATION!


Frunkel: Well it was bound to happen. I think there is some kind of law that says they have to show Jesus on a cross in EVERY tract!
Smozaty: Let's see, stupid teenaged girl, religious doctor, Jesus on a cross... all we need now is god with no face and we're all done!


Frunkel: Oh my god, she converted. I'm sure nobody saw THAT coming...
Smozart: Heh Heh... she's looking forward to dying.


Smozart: And now it explains how the bible specifically agree with Jack. Assuming of course you interperate it in the most messed uppist of ways!
Frunkel: Well I'm convinced. No more condoms for me!
THE END