The Wouters Edge
Observations, Annoyances, And Half-baked Musings During One Man's Journey Through An Ugly World...
How Osama Bin Laden Rigged The Superbowl! Feb. 7, 2001
Last Sunday as I watched the underdog Pats take a first half lead, I wasn't thinking about how pissed the Rams must have been. Or how well the Pats played defensively. I was thinking about Vegas. I was thinking about money being lost. The 2nd biggest upset in Superbowl history must have had heads rolling in places that you or I would never like to see. By the time Vinatieri's 48 yard boot sailed through the giant yellow pitchfork, bookies were certainly counting their money.....
But wait, why didn't Faulk get the ball more? Why didn't Martz start running the ball? He ran the ball mercilessly on the Bird's defense until "The Marshall" had single-handedly turned that game into a personal highlight in the 2nd half. Where the hell were Holt, Bruce, Hakim? Flea-flickers, 5-wide sets, half-back screens? Everyone else may attribute all of the above to a superior defensive gameplan by Bill Bellicheck. But why am I the only one that questions that? Sure, Bellicheck is a proven coach, think about those Superbowls with the Giants, and all those years with the Tuna had to have helped.... But, it all seemed so wrong. Who would gain from the Pats winning? Certainly one could make a case for the Boston Sports Fan. A rare loyal breed, that will always be haunted by the names Ruth and Buckner. Did they win, sure, but who else?
Osama Bin Laden.... What a colossal mind fuck this would be on the American people. The media was building the Rams up to be a towering power over the Pats, predicting the Rams by 20, embellishing the already hefty 14-point spread. After the game with all the American propaganda beforehand, I think it was inevitable for nearly every American to think it was somehow "cute" that the Patriots triumphed. And even smited their victory by somehow feeling part of it. Guess what, you're not, so don't feel patriotic after you watch a stupid football game, that's not the time. But back on track....... Odd how I'm the habitual marijuana smoker yet, apparently I'm the only one who remembers when Bin Laden cashed in on the winged whores (airlines) after Sept.11th? Essentially, in SAT logic, the Rams losing was like the airlines losing reported billions in mere months. I'm calling for a complete investigation on the subject. How bad did Warner's thumb hurt? Why did they never go deep? Maybe this is part of his giant plan? Maybe Bin Laden struck some sort of sick deal with Martz, for future consideration as a general for Al Quaeda. Martz's obsession with the Civil War, or possibly just War may prove treasonous. But, making millions, while Americans lose billions is Bin Laden's calling card. Do you think he helped with the shitfall of Enron? Were the CEO and CFO of the largest energy trading organization in the Nation actually foot-soldiers for Bin Laden.... infultrating our economy and essentially imploding Enron..... Causing the largest economic meltdown in U.S. history?..... These urgent questions I feel should be answered. I suggest that the FBI work hand in hand with bookies around the states tracking calls and money transfers. So, my advice is to be cautious when betting on sporting contests, it might just be controlled by Nazis, or long-bearded men that would like nothing more than to strap themselves with large amounts of explosives and to blow us up. One must be careful that he/she is not somehow funding these terrorist cells and networks, who knows where they are, or what they own? (Reebok sounds Arabic to me!) Patriotic citizens like yourselves can't let that happen.....
Back to Archives