The Wouters Edge
Observations, Annoyances, And Half-baked Musings During One Man's Journey Through An Ugly World...
July 13, 2002
Quadriplegic Sues Strip Club... Baseball to strike..... Fucka in the NBA?... 2 Men Beaten After Car Crash...
WEST PALM BEACH, Florida -- A quadriplegic has sued a strip club, charging that it violates the Americans with Disabilities Act because the lap dance room does not have wheelchair access. Now this is a man who is chasing "The American Dream." Refusing to let his disabilities to prevent him from receiving the same ambiance of dry-humping as every other paying customer. The lap dance room is only accessible by a short flight of stairs, according to the suit. It also alleges that the counter around the stage where strippers dance is too high, making it difficult for Law to see the stage and set down his drinks. Ridiculous! This man is disabled, make him a ramp so he can give women $20 to rub their taut behinds on his semi-functional crotch, is it not an injustice this man must pay for sex-acts, has he not suffered enough? This is his pursuit of happiness, his light at the end of the tunnel... which is of course handi-capable...
From chasing the American Dream, to killing the American past-time, baseballers threaten to strike. Free from steriod-testing, the highest paid professional athletes would like to keep it that way. With dwindling attendance and soaring salaries, the owners are trying to enforce a salary cap. While the NBA, and NFL both use salary caps, Alex Rodriguez is to baseball as Kevin Garnett was to basketball. The final straw, and now "we" are supposed to brace ourselves for another strike. In a time of economic faltering, unemployment, and an appearingly weak and volatile stockmarket these "juiced" athletes look nothing less than "money-grubbing." One ballplayer claims that they are not "greedy," but that they simply want to work in a free-market like other jobs. Okay, thing is, other than professional football, baseball and basketball, name one other job-market where the mean salary is $2 million dollars. Already on top of the economic food chain baseball players appear to be fascist! Ironic that every time you hear a player say they play for "the game," after they have just signed a mult-year multi-million dollar contract... Where is their love for the game now? Hopefully by the time the dust settles, these fiends will have cast such a broad and black image of baseball, no one will go back to the ballparks afterward...
"Fucka scores!" This could soon be spewed from your favorite play-by-play commentator sooner than later. Gregor Fucka who currently plays in a basketball league in Italy is looking at playing for the Indiana Pacers. Has this organization not suffered enough? Or could this be the organization's saving grace? Though Fucka has never played a minute in the NBA, many players have been screaming, muttering, and tauntingly spewing his name for years. His jersey is a potential goldmine, if the Pacers are swift, they could get to elementary, junior high, and high schools nationwide, with a meet Fucka campaign. Before you know it, every kid will be dawning his or her own authentic Fucka jersey. Once he signs be swift, you'll be far cooler if you are the first of your friends to strut into a party or onto a blacktop as Fucka..
Two men whose van jumped a curb and crashed into pedestrians on Chicago's South Side died after an angry mob pulled them out and beat them with bricks, witnesses and police said. *Note to self, do not go to the Southside* Witnesses say, they saw the van approaching an intersection, the van had to swerve to avoid hitting a pedestrian in which case, the van appearingly lost control and crashed into 2 more pedestrians and into a house. Immediately a mob rushed to the victims and began assistance, while others pulled the driver and passenger out of the van. According to one witness, "It was over once they got them out of the van, it was just a brutal beatdown." The 2 men from the van were struck by bricks and then kicked and punched by an angry mob.
Both were dead by the time police and EMS arrived on the scene. I emplore you, what is wrong with Southside Chicago? This gruesome animalistic act simply confirms what we Chicagoans already knew, "DON'T GO TO THE SOUTHSIDE!" What is wrong with people? What makes a person savagely attack another with a brick? The 21st century has brought us cell phone insanity, technological impressiveness, online everything. Yet, how far as a society have we come, when every day, events similar to this happens? Was it lack of education, was it lack of money, or is it, no matter what, there are just going to be fucked up derranged people everywhere! Is there no hope?....
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