The Wouters Edge

Mon, Vernon, Hillary and Bill (as well as countless others) are filing for taxpayer reimbursement for the legal bills they incurred during Whitewater and the more recent, "Fat girl gives Pres Head," case. Although former president Clinton said he would not seek reimbursement from the Lewinksky scandal, everyone else involved is.... Lewinsky is seeking $1.2 million, and Vernon Jordan is asking for $300,000! The Clinton's are seeking $1.75-$6.5 million! This is ri-goddamn-diculous! Yet, not a new situation. Ronald Reagan and George Bush Sr., were both successfully reimbursed for the Iran-Contra scandal investigations. If Bubba wins this appeal, he should be appointed, "King of the World!" Think about it.... He gets on the stand and in true "slick Willy" style debated the word "Is," and the defnition of "sexual relations." All the while his approval rating soared. He avoids impeachment and loots the Oval office in his final days as leader of the free world. Bubba should be an inspiration to us all, you don't have to tell the truth, you don't have to love your wife, you CAN get head while on the phone with foreign diplomats, you can make a mockery of the legal system, and the best part is, you can be reimbursed for all of it.... Now That, my friends is the American Dream...

Are you kidding me? What might I ask is the problem with Florida and elections? First and foremost, why was the election that close, I make no declaration that I even know her opponent or anything he stands for, but who the hell would want Janet Reno as their governor? Did anyone happen to catch her dance-party fundraiser? I've just regained vision in my right eye. How hard can this be? Is it the old people? Are they letting the old people count these votes? Is Jeb Bush confused, did he think it was a presidential election? How in this day and age, with the resources, technology and public scrutiny on Florida can this happen again,... in Florida?... What is to be done? Exclude them from the country, make them their own sovereign nation which we watch over. Legalize gambling, drugs and prostitution, who would seek out AC and Vegas if you've got hookers, legal drugs and gambling in Florida?....

Flipping through channels at an unprecedented rate last night I came across the Whitesox-Royals game. Whether it was curiosity or a nervous twitch, the rapid fire on the controller ceased. Then BAM! Two fans at Comiskey Park stormed the field and attacked... the Royals firstbase coach? A father and his 15 year old son stormed the field and started attacking Tom Gamboa (Royals 1st Base Coach). An instant later, the entire Royals team deployed on the two assailants, and appearingly, beat the hell out of them for a while. Who are these people? What kind of vile savages evolve here in the Windy City? The man was thought to be inebriated, he was reportedly saying something whlie beating on the old man, but Gamboa said it was completely slurred. This incident compounded with several around the National Football League last year will prompt more and more questions. Should alcohol be served in public stadiums, when should we cut people off, how is alcohol affecting this situation. Well, here's my 2 cents, if you sold joints instead of beers, concession sales would skyrocket and no one would ever get out of their seats!...

Did you know how hard it is to be in Al Qaeda? A recently published USA Today article spells it out. Apparently it helps to be a Muslim man from late teens to early 30's, you should probably be willing to die (duh), have an ability to follow orders, and must possess patience and discipline; no hot heads (so much for us Woj). You can not look for the Taliban, much like the Matrix, they are watching for you... Compared with the Mafia's "Omerta," Al Qaeda members sign the "bayat," a written document saying you will be Osama's bitch, and if you are not true to Sammy, then it can be punishable by death... They perform explicit background checks, interviews with relatives (what the...?) and finally a one on one meeting with an Al Qaeda operative. From there recruits are swept off to a luxurious Al Qaeda boot camp for six months, where vacationers can relax by learning how to shoot anti-aircraft missiles, firing automatic weapons, and learning how to use plastic explosives. From there recruits can advance their education with courses like, kidnapping, assassination, blowing up buses and more aircraft, laundering money, or encrypting computerized communcations. You know, honestly, other than being Muslim and being willing to die, it really doesn't sound that hard to me....

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