This is the man you are wasting your time with....for shame!

Hi, my name is...somewhere on my underwear...its....wait...i..almost...ahh...nevermind. It seems that now is not the time for that. We have much bigger things ahead! Heave, Heave, Heave...what? I'll tell you all about it sometime later, but what I will tell you now will probably blow your mind...possibly even scare you a little bit. It appears that you've stumbled across the only page in the universe that has the secret CIA documents that you've been looking for!!! Well, not really, but i AM a loser, if that counts for anything. I like cheeze and so do you, so there you go. Also, i ate your Grandma.