perhaps a small insight into the chaos that is my social life...

walking around at pride fest i realized somthing that made me smile because if i didnt laugh about it i prolly would have started crying...
i believe that it is someones cruel joke to make me attracted to boyish girls... granted im also attracted to girlish boys, and that wouldnt be a problem except that im not one myself...
at present i think the most likely candidate is one of the parties here on earth who has a vested interest in making me miserable... whether this is the oil companies, government (where the separation between those two lies i have no idea, if there even is one) or the carnitarians...
their goal is to make me miserable by conditioning me into developing crushes almost exclusively on unattainable people...
im not sure if this misery is purely for its own sake to make me so unhappy as to do myself in, or if its just cause theyre afraid ill procreate and start a race of soylien/human hybrids which will march on the meat eating masses of this planet and bring about a state of total anarchy... while the latter would be kinda cool, im not one for procreation...
so if youre listening, whomever you are, and the reason for this sadistic preference of mine is to prevent me from breeding, you have nothing to worry about...
if on the other hand their goal is my demise, im too stubborn for that, the most they can hope for is excessive sulking and moping...