so long,
drifting in absence,
seems a brief eternity.
hunger satiated from growling
but always present.
none the less for the wear.
masochistic balancing act.
tremulous grasp on reality.
fading in and out.
consciousness eludes and dreams dilute.
blocks ever after falling into place.
clicking into keyhole fitted.
unlocking treasures of silence.
(pause)
screaming tilt-a-whirl of colored brightness.
nauseating spin of fast paced eradication.
mutilation of only half realized stability.
barely self aware.
still searching for the past when the future hits you in the face.
glittering gems of possibilty,
but with teeth to bite and nash.
consuming hope mixed with paralyzing fear.
mistakes made past
loom ahead.
horizon blotched with greasy regret and inescapable pain.
contentment is an illusion
alluded to by all
yet, incorporeal
and always out of reach.