Garfield: First Blood Part II:
The Legend of the Warrior of the Forever Fist
It was
a bright morning full of rain and sun when Natalie Portman was doing her
acting.
"These
are my words and my motions are full of emotion." Said Natalie Portman
with acting.
"Excellence!
This is Oscar winning performance!" Said the director with compliments.
"Thank
you I am four star actress." Said Natalie Portman with thanks.
Then
all of a sudden out of mist Ashton Kutcher appeared with sinister plans.
"Haha
Natalie Portman you will star in me with movies and be forever mine! Then I
will have immortality!" Cackled Ashton Kutcher with evil.
"No
Ashton Kutcher I will not give in to your evil." Cried out Natalie Portman
in defiance.
"Haha
You have no say in this! You are my prisoner! Behold force field!" Said
Ashton Kutcher as he summoned a force field prison to capture Natalie Portman.
"Now
to my studio lair where we will star in movies together!" Declared Ashton
Kutcher with evil as he left with imprisoned Natalie Portman.
Meanwhile
Garfield was riding alone on all American highway on his Custom Harley Davidson
motorcycle rockin out to DIO turned up to maximum volume.
"Time
to train the muscles." Said Garfield as he pulled into a gym for training.
Garfield
went to the punching bag for punching practice. It was punching bag made of
diamond and steel so it can take his super punches which are like force of
nature.
"I
am fist. Mighty with speed." Garfield said as he punched the punching bag.
As
Garfield practiced his punches news reports came on the TV.
"This
just in. Ashton Kutcher has tweeted he has kidnapped Natalie Portman for evil
movies. If only a hero was man enough to save her." Said the news man with
reporting.
"INDIGNITIES."
Roared Garfield as he punched the punching bag in half with ease at the anger
of the reporting.
Garfield
waltzed out of gym in quest to rescue Natalie Portman with his manly power.
Outside of gym Garfield was confronted with thugs.
"Haha
Garfield we were sent by Ashton Kutcher to be putting stop to you. Now is the
time for endings!" Said the thugs with arrogant laughs.
"The
only thing being stopped is your life! Eat fist!" Roared Garfield with
anger.
The
thugs then attacked Garfield with foolishness. One thug swung a chain at him
the other hit him with a baseball bat, but it was no use. They bounced off
Garfields muscles like rubber ball on a donkey.
"WHAT?"
Cried out the thugs in shocking disbelief.
"My
turn miscreants." Said Garfield has he lifted one thug above his head.
"Time
to make a wish." Said Garfield as he snapped the thug in two.
After
the thug snapping, Garfield turned to other thug with vengeance.
"Garfield
please spare my life I am poor starving man." Said the thug with begging.
"Starve
on my fist." Said Garfield as he punched the thugs stomach out.
Garfield
then hopped on his Custom Harley Davidson motorcycle and revved the engines to
rescue the Natalie Portman.
"Ashton
Kutcher I hope your heart is in good health because I am going to rip it out of
your chest." Garfield said as he put his shades on and rode off for
rescue.
As
Garfield rode, a Tractor Trailer truck filled with lasagna drove beside him.
"Lasagna
feed my body and soul. Give me strength to rescue ladies in danger."
Garfield said as he looked to the truck.
Lasagna
burst out of truck to feed Garfield and entered his mouth for eating, filling
Garfields muscular body with power and energy.
"Thank
you Lasagna you are now part of me." Garfield said with gratitude to
lasagna.
In the
distance Garfield spotted trouble. It was a tank filled with vile minions of
Ashton Kutcher.
"Behold
Garfield our beast of iron and metal. You ride ends here Garfield for we are
righteous." Said the tank commander with taunts.
At
villains petty taunts Garfield laughed with scoffing. He turned on his DIO
beyond maximum volume and glared at foolish tank with fiery eyes.
"Rust
in peace, iron beast." Garfield said to the tank as he rode right through
the tank at laser speed splitting it in half.
Meanwhile
in Ashton Kutchers demon lair evil was brewing in hearts of men. Ashton Kutcher
was sitting on his throne dressed like wicked sultan while Natalie Portman was
chained to the wall.
"Haha
Natalie Portman you are mine on this midnight hour. All of your hope should be
abandoned for I am your new master!" Cackled Ashton Kutcher with evil.
"No
Garfield will save me for he is true hero of man." Natalie Portman said
with hope.
"Hoho
not even Garfields manliness can save you now. We will star in movies and makes
eons of money." Declared Ashton Kutcher with maniac laughing.
"Garfield
please come I need you." Natalie Portman said with longing.
Meanwhile
Garfield was riding the lonely road of the hero with hair blowing through wind
like wet lasagna in a fan. In the distance Garfield saw Ashton Kutchers palace
of pain and evil. It was on Island surrounded by lava and crocodiles. There
seemed no way but Garfield never gives up never surrenders.
"Time
to do the sky bird." Garfield declared as he pulled out his lasagna glider
and glided to island of Ashton Kutcher.
Garfield
crashed into room full of Ashton Kutchers loyal guards who would fight in his
name to the deaths, but Garfield was not afraid.
"I
heard there was party so I stopped by. Do not worry I am polite guest here are
some presents." Quipped Garfield a she took out his Desert Eagles and
fired at guard scum.
"My
goody bag will be your beating heart Ashton Kutcher!" Garfield shouted
with adrenaline pumping.
Garfield
searched Ashton Kutchers palace mowing down guards wherever he saw with no
mercy. He then came upon doors to Ashton Kutchers throne room but it was sealed
with evil power and locks. But Garfield blew it open with ease like big bad
wolf blowing down straw houses.
"I
am here for the Natalie Portman and for your head on stick." Garfield
roared upon entering Ashton Kutchers throne room.
Inside
room Garfield saw Natalie Portman chained in imprisonment and Ashton Kutcher
sitting on throne.
"Haha
Garfield I have been waiting for you. Not even you can be stopping me
now." Ashton Kutcher cackled with evil.
"Silence
you sultan of sin. Your time is ending near!" Garfield responded with
angry vocals.
"Garfield
I had enough of your words. Time for fiery doom! Meet the dragon!" Ashton
Kutcher said as he whistled for his dragon. At Ashton Kutchers whistling a four
headed dragon appeared with fire breathing and roars.
"Enjoy
your just deserts!" Ashton Kutcher cackled as he fled like little girl.
"Haha
Garfield! I am hoping you brought your bib because I am going to be smoking you
like a ham!" Growled the evil four headed dragon.
"I
have no time for dragon distraction." Fumed Garfield with frustration.
All
hope seemed to be in fire but then familiar voice was heard by all.
"AMAKOOOOO."
It was
Jon Arbuckle flying in on jet pack rearing for fighting!
"Do
not worry I will take care of this lizard you must go after Ashton
Kutcher." Said Jon Arbuckle with support.
"Thank
you Jon Arbuckle you are my jet pack backup." Garfield said with
gratitude.
Garfield
went after Ashton Kutcher as Jon Arbuckle battled dragon with mystic blade.
"Ok
dragon boy let's do this." Jon Arbuckle said as he drew his mystic katana.
Meanwhile
Garfield was chasing down Ashton Kutcher with justice on mind and in fist. He
finally cornered Ashton Kutcher against wall.
"You
are at the end of your highway and it is time to pay the toll man." Said
Garfield with eyes glaring.
"Haha
Garfield it is too late. Natalie Portman soul is mine and my life will be
immortal!" Ashton Kutcher declared with vile grin.
"Fool
your life is short, but my fist is FOREVER." Garfield roared as he charged
inner power to max and sent fists flying at Ashton Kutcher at earthquake speed
making him supernova.
"NOOOO."
Cried out Ashton Kutcher as he supernovad.
"Your
career just exploded." Quipped Garfield with cleverness.
"Thank
you Garfield you saved me again." Thanked Natalie Portman with joyful
words.
"No
problem honeybabes. I can not stand seeing ladies kidnapped." Garfield
said as he helped Natalie Portman up.
"Good
work Garfield. You saved day again." Said approaching voice. It was Jon
Arbuckle! He was holding dragons heads in his hands.
"Yes
Jon Arbuckle I think it is time for celebration." Said Garfield in
response.
"Yes
Garfield we should perform our hit new song for Natalie Portmans music
enjoyment." Jon Arbuckle suggested with good ideas as he took out his
electric guitar for jamming.
"Yes
here is our new song "Lover and Fighter Man." From album of same
name. Old people with diseases should beware of dangerous rocking." Said
Garfield as he took out his mic ready for rocking.
Jon
Arbuckle began powerful chords of playing while Garfield began to sing with
mighty rocking voice:
"I
am real man hard like steel
Always
hungry for lasagna meal
Busting
heads winning every fight
Need to
see you naked tonight
I am a
Lover and Fighter man
Not a
loser and crier man
Baby,
Bake me egg in a friar pan
Because
I am a lover and fighter man
Every
day I am punching and kicking
When I
come home I want you for licking
Stupid
thugs their heads I crack
But you
I want to rub my back
I am a
Lover and Fighter Man
Not a
loser and crier man
I want
to spank you until you tan
Because
I am a lover and fighter man"
Jon
Arbuckle then began shredding like madman with guitar solo.
"AMAKOOOOOOO."
Shouted Jon Arbuckle as flames and lightning burst out of his guitar. After
amazing guitar solo Garfield began to sing again:
"I
am the champ in the ring
In the
bedroom I am king
Bashing
villains until they groan
Loving
ladies until they moan
I am a
lover and fighter man
Not a
loser and Crier man
I will
make you fly like Peter Pan
Because
I am a lover and fighter man"
Natalie
Portman screamed and clapped in excitement at the rocking concert. She ran to
Garfield with love in her eyes.
"Garfield
you are rock star stud muffin. But now I want you to play me like an electric
guitar and make me wail." Natalie Portman said with desire.
"Sure
thing sugarbites. I have a concert in my pants and you have first row
tickets." Garfield said with flirty words.
"Let
us go on stage and make music." Said Natalie Portman as she led Garfield
to her bedroom.
Garfield
and Natalie Portman went on her bed and embraced for love makings. They rubbed
eachother with oil and perfume and touched eachother all over. Their bodies
then joined like peanut butter and jelly and created delicious loving all night
long.
The
End..?
Authors
Note: Congratulations to Natalie Portman for her pregnancies! Please beware and
do not let Ashton Kutcher kidnap your babies. Also I am still single so it is
still ok if you would like to date me.