The Garfield Network
It was
a Thursday and Mark Zuckerberg and Eduardo were
trying to create Facebook.
"Mark
Zuckerburg this is awful we cannot make the Facebook
ourselves we are too much pathetic." Cried Eduardo like a baby losing his
bottle.
"I
know we will never get the popularity and the girls and the women without
Facebook we are ruined." Squealed Mark Zuckerburg
like little girl in the sandbox.
While
Mark Zuckerberg and Eduardo were crying like babies
about their failures, there was a sudden boom from the entrance of their dorm. Rockn heavy metal music played as a manly Orange figure
with a hot sexy Asian lady in each muscular arm strolled in like a real man
only can.
"Look
there is Garfield, the manliest man on campus and the world! Only he can make
the Facebook!" Shouted Eduardo with jubilee.
"Yes
we must ask him at once for sake of popularity. "Said
Mark Zuckerberg with gleam in his eyes. Mark Zuckerberg and Eduardo approached Garfield with urgency to
ask him of help only he can give.
"Garfield
we must make the Facebook. Please help us! Only your manly hands can make
it." Begged Eduardo with crying shame.
"Yes
Garfield please. You can have all money you
desire." Said Mark Zuckerburg
taking out money and offering it to Garfield with open hand.
Garfield
stared at sissy boys with raging eyes and glared at the money. Garfield then
grabbed the dollar bills in clenched fist and shoved it in Mark Zuckerbergs mouth.
"I
have no need for your filthy money. I have one price and one price alone and
that is Lasagna." Garfield said with stern justice.
"Very
well Garfield. We will give you all lasagna you desire." Said Eduardo with promises.
"So
be it. I will make your Foolbook." Declared Garfield with scoffing tone.
Garfield
went to computer and typed words in and in 2 minutes made Facebook.
"Garfield!
You did it. You made the Facebook!" Shouted Mark Zuckerberg in joy.
"Of course. It was easy like lady in my
hands." Garfield remarked with casualness.
"Now
I will be having my price." Garfield said with demands.
"Yes
here is your first installment of Lasagna." Said Eduardo
bringing in wagon of Lasagna.
"This
will do for now. I will be seeing you laters."
Garfield said as he left with his earned lasagna.
"We
did it. Soon popularity will be ours." Said Eduardo with
joy.
"Yes,
soon all the sexy women will be ours. But now it is time for bed. I will see
you in the morning." Said Mark Zuckerberg
with yawning.
"Yes
Good night dear friend and comrade." Eduardo said while heading to his
room for bed.
Later
at Midnight while Mark Zuckerburg was in bed he heard
noise coming from window. He looked up and saw shadowy figure at his bed. Mark Zuckerberg turned on the light revealing the figure to be
Justin Timberlake!
"Greeting
Mark Zuckerburg it is I Justin Timberlake. I have
heard of your success of Facebooks." Justin
Timberlake said with sinister voice.
"Yes
I have finally succeeded with help of Eduardo and especially Garfield." Said Mark Zuckerberg with truth.
"Forget
Eduardo and Garfield. Come with me. Together we can steal Facebook and take
over the world and the beautiful women and sexy ladies." Justin Timberlake
offered with temptations.
"Yes
you are right. Together all of things will be ours for the taking!" Shouted Mark Zuckerburg with selfish
evil.
With
these words, Justin Timberlake and Mark Zuckerberg
stole the Facebook and escaped out of window.
Hearing
commotions Eduardo checked in on Mark Zuckerburg to
see if all was well. When Eduardo looked he saw Mark Zuckerberg
was missing and so was Facebook.
"Oh
no Mark Zuckerburg and Justin Timberlake stole
Facebook!" Cried out Eduardo in panic.
Eduardo
ran into Garfields room
where Garfield was sitting in a hot tub with more ladies than he could count
and Eduardo could count high.
"What
is the insolence you stupid boy?" Garfield roared with outrage.
"Garfield
it is horrible. Mark Zuckerberg and Justin Timberlake
stoke the Facebook. You must stop them!" Cried Eduardo
with tears of desperation.
"Those worms. I will make them into orange
juice and squeeze them dry." Garfield Declared with gritted teeth and
clenched fist.
"But
where could they be? It is too late!" Said Eduardo with
hopelessness.
"No
they are on roof looking for escape." Garfield said as he hopped in his
Red Corvette to look for searching.
"I
will bring justice to them like the milkman brings milk, bottled and without
mercy." Garfield said as he put the gear on max and blasted his Black
Sabbath: Mob Rules album.
Meanwhile
Justin Timberlake and Mark Zuckerberg were plotting
escape.
"Mark
Zuckerburg you go and get the helicopter I will wait
here for you." Said Justin Timberlake.
"Very well. Soon Facebook and the world
will be ours!" Mark Zuckerberg said as he ran
off to get the helicopter.
Soon
after Mark Zuckerberg left, Justin Timberlake saw
something in the distance. It was Garfield in his Red Corvette blasting Classic
rockin Black Sabbath and rearing for action! Justin
Timberlake began to run but was chased down by Garfield to the edge of the
roof.
"You
can run but you cannot hide from hammer of justice." Said
Garfield as he strolled out of his Red Corvette pointing at Justin Timberlake
with finger of flaming fury.
Justin
Timberlake threw himself at Garfield begging for mercy.
"Garfield
please spare me. I am sorry for stealing Facebook. I
will give you all the money in world. Please spare me." Begged and sobbed
Justin Timberlake with sniveling words.
Garfield
glared at Justin Timberlake with burning cat eyes.
"Spare
the rod spoil the FOOL." Roared
Garfield as he picked up Justin Timberlake holding him high into air.
Then a mighty thunderbolt came from the sky and hit Justin Timberlake while he
was in Garfields hands,
thundering him with lightning.
"Here
is your foolbook enjoy its money in hell."
Garfield said as he tossed the thundered Justin Timberlake off the roof.
Soon
Garfield heard a helicopter noise, and saw Mark Zuckerberg
in an Apache helicopter rearing for battle.
"It
is too late Garfield. Facebook will be mine and everyone will love me! All the
sexy women will throw themselves at me! Now be prepared for missiles!" Said Mark Zuckerberg as he readied his
rockets.
"You
are FOOL! Facebook is for infants and impotents! Now
face death by my manly fists!" Garfield bellowed with fierce justice.
Mark Zuckerburg fired his rocket missiles but Garfield caught
them in his mighty hands.
"Friend this." Said
Garfield as he tossed the missiles at Mark Zuckerbergs
Apache helicopter sending him crashing into the street. Garfield went
down to examine the wreckage when he saw a sexy young lady run out into the
street.
"I
am Mark Zuckerbergs Ex-Girlfriend. I am glad you
defeated Mark Zuckerburg. He was a big jerk. Now the
world is free and we can rejoice." Said Mark Zuckerbergs Ex-girlfriend in glee.
"Sure thing sexy sox. Come with me and I will
show you true power of social networking." Garfield said with sassy
seduction.
"Garfield
you are like man I never met, please take me." Said Mark Zuckerbergs ex-girlfriend.
Garfield
grasped Mark Zuckerbergs ex-girlfriend with his
muscular arms and brought her to his love pad for some serious romance.
"I
will ride your cyber highway and network you in ways you never imagined." Roared Garfield as he pleasured Mark Zuckerbergs
ex-girlfriend with full force loving.
"Please
Garfield. Make me a woman of the future with your cyberloving."
Screamed Mark Zuckerbergs ex-girlfriend as she let
herself be pleasured by Garfields awesome might.
Garfield
and Mark Zuckerbergs girlfriend made sweet sweet love makings all night. All of the campus heard their
love into hours of the morning as they rocked eachothers
worlds.
The
End…?