Garfield: Royal Rescue
Garfield
was relaxing having some scotch and lasagna when Jon Arbuckle came with
emergency news.
"Garfield
it is terrible I have the bad news." Jon Arbuckle Said with crying words.
"Stop
your sob stories and give me your thoughts." Garfield said with serious
demands.
"It
is terrible Garfield, Kate Middleton and Prince William are getting married but
you are not invited!" Jon Arbuckle said with outrage.
"This
is lies!" Roared Garfield with angry voice.
"It
is true. Look and see." Jon Arbuckle showed Garfield a letter that came
through mail boxes.
"Dear
Garfield, you are not invited to royal wedding. Sincerely Royal England
Family." Said the letter with insults.
"INVITE
THIS." Shouted Garfield as he tore up the letter with manly hands.
"This
is last straw. I will not stand for insults to humanity." Garfield cried
out to the ceiling with fist clenched with justice.
"What
will you do Garfield?" Asked Jon Arbuckle with wondering.
"I
will do what any good man does when insulted with words. I will crush wedding
with righteousness." Garfield roared with determination.
"It
will be dangerous. Royal edicts are there with power." Jon Arbuckle warned
with caution.
"The
only edict I serve is my fist." Said Garfield as he walked out with
intentions.
Meanwhile
in England Buckingham Palace Prince William and Kate Middleton were getting
ready for marriage ceremonies.
"Kate
Middleton soon we will be in marriage and all will be well. You will be
princess of England and all will bow to you." Said Prince William with
celebration.
"Yes
I am happiness. But I wish Garfield was here. I am missing Garfields macho
charm and rugged good looks." Kate Middleton said with distant longing.
"FORGET
GARFIELD. He is not coming for as long as I am Prince of this land. You will be
mine and mine alone." Said Prince William grasping Kate Middleton tightly.
"But."
Said Kate Middleton with whimper.
"There
will be no buts for YOU. No cat no matter how manly will steal my woman!"
Shouted Prince William with anger.
"Oh,
Garfield…" Cried out Kate Middleton with wanting.
Meanwhile
Garfield was getting ready for trip to lovely country of England.
"Time
to prepare for my British vacation. My only souvenir will be flaming
vengeance." Garfield said as he packed his things.
"Garfield
be careful of stress it is killer with heart disease and cholesterol." Jon
Arbuckle warned with advice.
"I
have no time for stress, there is British damsel that needs saving."
Garfield said with stern voice.
"Farewell
Jon Arbuckle. Hold down fort when I am gone." Garfield said as he left for
adventure.
"You
know it Garfield. Show them what a real man is made of." Jon Arbuckle said
as he grasped Garfields arm for manly handshake.
Garfield
then boarded his jet and lifted off for take off with thunder like speed.
Garfield soared through the sky over oceans and oceans until he came to Island
of England. Garfield then braked his jet and prepared for jumping.
"Time
for a British invasion." Said Garfield as he leaped out of Jet into
country of Great Britain to administer justice like a Prime Minister of iron.
Garfield
opened his parachute with lasagna logo but was in no mood for playtime.
"Parachutes
are for little girls and babies in wheelchairs." Said Garfield as he cut
his parachute off for free fall fun.
Meanwhile
in Buckingham palace Prince William was dressing up in wedding clothes. All of
a sudden he sensed great power.
"No
it can not be it must being my imagination playing tricks on me." Said
Prince William with self delusional fear.
"Prince
William we are almost ready for the wedding." Said the servants.
"Very
well I am almost ready. Now leave before I am lashing your back." Roared
Prince William with anger.
"Yes
my master." Said the servants with cowering.
The
Queen of England than entered Prince Williams room with words.
"This
is your special day. Yet I am unsure you have proven true manhood." Said
The Queen of England.
"I
am true man. All will England will see." Said Prince William with
defiance.
"Why
have you not invited Garfield? Do you fear to face real man?" Asked the
Queen of England with challenge.
"I
fear no man or cat!" Shouted Prince William as he tossed champagne glass
at mirror shattering all into millions in fits of anger.
"I
am the prince of all English! All will cower before my monarchial might! Not
even Garfield can defeat me!" Declared Prince William with royal decree.
Meanwhile
Garfield was walking in streets of London with purpose. As Garfield walked with
strength steps, Englishmen cheered him and shouted his name with joy.
"GARFIELD.
GARFIELD." Cheered the Englishmen as Garfield walked to Buckingham Palace.
Garfield
walked with sternness and determination to destination for he was on mission.
Garfield walked and walked until he came to Buckingham Palace gates.
"No
gate can take my power!" Garfield bellowed with majesticness as he punched
down gate with one punch.
Garfield
marched with purpose in feet as stormed to wedding place of matrimony. Royal
Guards came rushing to arrest him but they were not of match.
"There
is Garfield! Arrest him in the name of prince!" Shouted the Guards with
princely loyalty.
"Relax
my English hombres you are being relieved of duty." Said Garfield chilly
as hit royal guards with fists and feet of speed like typhoon sending them
flying miles high and exploding.
Garfield
picked up a guard and raised him high in air like feather.
"Here
why not enjoy delicacy of fresh fish and chips. " Quipped Garfield as he
tossed the guard into the sea.
"There
is plenty of salt for you in there." Said Garfield with cleverness as he
walked away.
Garfield
marched on his mission until he came to wedding parties with food and drink.
More Guards came for ambushing but Garfield handled it like man.
"It
is tea time have a sip." Said Garfield as he took tea kettle and tossed it
at the guards.
"AHH
NO." Cried out the guards as the tea melted them into skeletons.
Garfield
came on table of food with wedding guests sitting around on celebration.
"No
lasagna? What is the blasphemy!" Garfield roared in anger as he threw
table on wedding guests.
"Lasagna
is food of warriors and kings. Do not be forgetting this you worms." Garfield
roared as he walked on.
Garfield
soon came upon wedding ceremony with Prince William and Kate Middleton at alter
being wed. Everyone heard Garfields manly footsteps like thunder in the sea.
Prince William Turned around saw his fears become realities.
"GARFIELD?"
Yelled out Prince William in tones of squealing horror.
"How
rude have you not heard royal tradition? It is the rules that I am first to
have woman before marriage." Garfield stated with cold fact.
"Garfield
you will never have my woman! I am prince I am above all!" Declared Prince
William with arrogant laugh.
Garfield
looked at Prince William with eyes of seeing and spoke with words of saying.
"Even
princes must obey the law of the fist. But do not being worrying for I will
give you fair trial. Here is the JUDGE and here is the JURY." Garfield
said as he raised his two fists for showing.
"Enough
nonsense! Feel might of royal jewels!" Said Prince William as he snapped
his fingers.
At
Prince Williams commands noise was heard. Mighty Big Ben transformed into giant
laser cannon and aimed at Garfield with blasting intent.
"Tick
Tock it is 12 o'clock. Time to die!" Said Prince William with mocking
words.
At
these words Big Ben fired at Garfield with beams of fury. However Garfield was
not laser fazed and backhanded laser beam with ease.
"
IMPOSSIBLE." Cried out Prince William with shock.
"Do
you not learn physics in prince school? Lasers bounce off of my mighty man
muscle." Garfield tutored with teachings.
"I
silence your mockery forever! Die!" Yelled Prince William as he took out
long sword and thrust it at Garfield, but Garfield caught his arm in midair and
crushed bones with crab like grip.
"It
looks like your time has just run up." Quipped Garfield as he tossed
Prince William into Big Ben exploding them both.
"NOOOOO."
Cried out Prince William as he crashed into Big Ben for explosion.
"Good
night, sweet prince." Said Garfield with cool words as he walked away.
After
victory Kate Middleton ran to Garfield and embraced him with arms.
"Garfield
thank you. When I was marrying him I only thought of you." Thanked Kate
Middleton with gratitude.
"No
problem my British biscuit. You must save me juicy piece of your shepherd's
pie." Garfield responded with flirtations.
"Garfield
you are true hero and real man. We want to make you honorary king of
England." Queen Elizabeth said with royal orders.
"I
am sorry but I am busy living fast life of fast adventures and faster
women." Garfield rejected with sympathies.
"Very
well at least accept position of Duke of Ireland." Said the Queen of
England.
"Fine
but I must first be attending to important business." Said Garfield as he
picked up Kate Middleton and brought her to royal bedroom where he could show
her how real men love women.
"Garfield
please make me your queen." Said Kate Middleton with warm tone.
"I
do not have castle to give you but I have a mighty tower for you to
climb." Garfield Said with seduction.
"Garfield
I want you to joust me like valiant knight." Kate Middleton cried out with
desire.
Garfield
then rode Kate Middleton like mighty knight taming wild stallion. With mighty
force Garfield Jousted Kate Middleton with manly lance into late hours of night
and all heard sound of their romances.
The
end…?