Garfield: Sheen Instincts
Garfield
was in his room doing upsidedown pushups when Jon Arbuckle came to him in
crying motion.
"Garfield
there is horror news, Charlie Sheen is leaving Two and a half Men and it may
not see the future days." Said Jon Arbuckle tears
weeping of salty sadness.
"NO
this cannot be, Two and a Half Men is Americas
favorite show, without it America may crumble." Said
Garfield with concern.
"What
can we do Garfield, how can we save America." Asked Jon
Arbuckle with hopelessness.
"I
will go see Charlie Sheen and make him see reasonableness." Said Garfield, with voice of stern.
Garfield
then hopped into his fighter jet, with lasagna logo, and saluted Jon Arbuckle
as he put on his helmet.
"I
am going under enemy lines, be sure to hold the home front." Said Garfield
to Jon Arbuckle as he took off and flew into the sky.
As
Garfield flew into the sky and sped along the clouds he noticed two shadows
behind him. He was being followed!
"There
must be vile enemy of America hoping to crush Two and a Half Men!" Said Garfield with disgusting rage.
"HAHA Garfield! We will stop you from talking
to Charlie Sheen, then evil will rule world!" Said the enemy jets.
"You
will rule the UNDERworlds!" Said Garfield as he dodged enemy fire and
launched homer missiles at his enemies with super accuracy.
"NOOOOO." Said the enemy jets as they
exploded into mushroom clouds.
With
pesky enemies taken care of, Garfield continued to Charlie Sheens
house. When Garfield arrived he parked his jet and went to the front door to
knock.
"Knock
knock this is Garfield I am in need of speaking sense to Charlie Sheen." Said Garfield with politeness.
Charlie
Sheen knew it was Garfield and did not want to be convinced, so he rushed
through the back door to his car for getaway escape.
"I
will escape so Garfield will never find me!" Said
Charlie Sheen in panic.
Garfield
however saw Charlie Sheen escaping in his Car and knew what was up.
"You
are damned fool Charlie Sheen!" Cried out Garfield to
the sky fist clenched with rage. Luckily Garfield then saw a passerbyer
driving.
"This
is business get out." Said Garfield as he forced his way into the
passerbyers car and kicked him out so he can pursue for maximum speed car
chase."This just got real." Said Garfield as he
sped off in pursuit.
Garfield
put the pedal to the medal and reached maximum speed as he caught up to Charlie
Sheen. Charlie Sheen saw Garfield and tried to lose him through traffic, but
Garfield swerved effortlessly through traffic with top notch driving skills
staying on Charlie Sheen like Glue on butter.
"It
is time for final getaway." Said Charlie Sheen as he
pressed a secret button in his car which gave him a turbo booster.
"Hasta la Visa Garfield!" Said Charlie Sheen with relief.
"Oh
no he is escaping." Said Garfield with worry. All
had seemed loss when Garfield heard a familiar voice.
"AMAKOOOOO." It was Jon Arbuckle Speeding
from the opposite direction in a Hummer!
"You
are not escaping to anywhere!" Said Jon Arbuckle as he crashed his Hummer
into Charlie Sheens car, pinning him to a wall.
"Thank
you Jon Arbuckle you are top notch vigilante catcher." Said
Garfield with gratitude.
Garfield
and Jon Arbuckle leaped out of their cars and ran to Charlie Sheen (Who had
only small bruises and broken bones) taking him captive. They then took him to
a secret warehouse where they could talk sense into him.
"Charlie
Sheen you must return to Two and a Half Men, it brings joyousness to thousands
of men women and children." Pleaded Jon Arbuckle with
eyes full of tears.
"If
not do it for me, do it for America." Said Garfield
heart with love for his country.
"No,
I want to pursue solo projects and become super movie star actor. I
refuse." Pouted Charlie Sheen with stubbornness.
"Very
well you leave us no choice." Said Garfield with
sadness.
Garfield
began to take something out of a closet which worried Charlie Sheen.
"What
are madness you going to be doing?" Asked Charlie Sheen
with worry.
"We
have no choice, we must waterboard you." Said Garfield
with Regret.
"NOOOO." Cried out
Charlie Sheen with despairing shout.
"This
will hurt you more than it hurts me." Said Garfield with
heavy heart.
"Is
there no ways other?" Asked Jon Arbuckle with concerned
face.
"This
is the only way to talk sense." Said Garfield with
convinced eyes.
With
these sad words Garfield began waterboarding Charlie Sheen with his waterboard
for sake of patriotism and civilization.
"NOOOO THE PAIIIN." Cried
out Charlie Sheen.
"Only
after you see the rightness of Two and Half Men will pain be ended for
good." Said Garfield with truth.
After
48 hours of waterboarding Charlie Sheen began to see the wrongness in his ways.
"Garfield
you are right, I was a wrong stupid idiot to leave Two
and Half Men." Said Charlie Sheen with realization.
"So
are you of right thinking now?" Asked Garfield with
wonder.
"Yes,
Thank you for waterboarding me Garfield." Said Charlie Sheen with gratitude.
"No
problem, I do what is best for you." Said Garfield with
pride.
With
these words Charlie Sheen went back to set for filming more episodes of Two and a Half Men for all to enjoy. Garfield and Jon
Arbuckle were getting ready to head home when Garfields phone began ringing.
"Who
is this?!" demanded Garfield with lightning energy.
"This
is President Obama, I want you to come to White House
so I can personally thank you for saving Two and a Half Men." Said President Obama on the phone.
"Very
well we will go to White House for praise." Said
Garfield hanging up the phone. Garfield and Jon Arbuckle flew to White
House on Garfields Jet and landed on the lawn. President Obama was there to
greet them with prizes.
"Thank
you Garfield for waterboarding Charlie Sheen and saving two and a Half Men.
America owes you much. Here is the medal of honor and the key to the city and a
lifetime supply of lasagna." Said President Obama with
gratitude.
"Thank
you for these prizes but the lasagna will only be lasting 2 and a half hours." Said Garfield with
witty jokes.
"HAHAHAHA." Said President Obama and Jon
Arbuckle, laughing at Garfields wit. Garfield, Jon
Arbuckle and President Obama laughed and laughed at Garfield's funny joke,
knowing that Two and a Half men would be on forever.
The End??
Authors
Note: If Charlie Sheen is reading this I hope he realizes his errors and will
stay on Two and a Half Men for his own good and good of country.