NOT SAILOR MOON, BUT.....
.....I'm sure they'd have been here if they were. Either way, they're here, and I'm sure people are so very, very happy they are. Or not.
So yes, this is what I would call a sampler of the badfic of other fandoms. As noted by the link that got you here, this is not a pretty page. Here you will find some of the worst badfics ever written. They've got everything. from torture (Agony in Pink) to Sueness (My Inner Life, Legolas) to anything written by balzo (Care too much, a little dies every time) and 98 percent of the Harry Potter fandom (Wrist slitting goth dyslexic vampires? HA! I'm being merciful). And, of course, the classic worst of the worst, the fic known as Celebrian. And that's just the tip of the iceberg.
Of course, this is fandom, so there is one scruple I must address. And that is called the phenomenom known as "real person stories/fics", usually abbreviated as "RPS". As much fun as it would be to put those up, I have decided (with one notable exception) that fanfiction which focuses on real people will not be included in this gallery, not in the least because even I have my limits. I know, you won't get to see "It's All Too Much", or "Raping Amanda Byrnes and Avril Lavigne", or any Orli/Viggi gayfic or that one story where Michael Palin is gangraped by the other Python members. I know, you're all so sad not to see it on here. You'll just have to look for them elsewhere. In the meantime, I'm sure these'll tie you over outside the Sailor Moon fandom. Or cause you to commit suicide. Take your pick.
Oh, and one last thing. You'll notice that none of these have stars next to them. This is not because any of them are for mature readers. In fact, nearly all of them are. So basically, THIS ENTIRE PAGE is hereby designated as an over-18 section. It is STRONGLY RECOMMENDED that children under 18 DO NOT continue, or click on ANY story links. I promise, you will be sorry. You have been warned.
by balzo
Click here to read
PLOT: Cheer Bear goes to the hospital and must face the fact that her friends, Funshine Bear and Braveheart Lion, are dying of AIDS.
NEW CHARACTERS: None
RATING: R
QUOTE: "It's our own fault this is happening, I feel weak." Said Brave Heart coughing. "Jesus Bear is punishing us with AIDS."
COMMENTS: The fanfic is just a little bit disturbing, because I loved the Care Bears as a kid. Braveheart Lion was an awesome character, and he was my favorite in the second Care Bears movie, which I watched religiously. Then one look at this story makes all those wonderful childhood memories burn away like acid. It makes you wonder who in their right minds would go out of their way to wreck a childhood memory with this kind of tripe. (Seriously, ecstacy and "care bear smack"? Cheer Bear drinking vodka? Where was this in the show?!) The unfortunate part is, it's not the only story of balzo's on here, and for good reason.
by XXXbloodyrists666XXX
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39
The Troll's Ending
PLOT: A story about Goths in Hogwarts, led by vampire Ebony Way, and their adventures together as they cut and angst their way through year seven.
NEW CHARACTERS: Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven (Tara) Way
RATING: M
QUOTE: Snoop laughed meanly. He polled down his pants. I gasped- there was a Dork Mark on his you-know-wut!11!
COMMENTS: This is a fanfic that represents nearly everything wrong about the Harry Potter fandom. (Well, except nostril rape and mpreg.) This fic is so bad that it's Google's first result for the search term "worst Harry Potter fanfic", and it shows. A Sue to rival anything you've ever seen, bucketloads of angst and blood, enough misspellings to float (or sink) a battleship, OOCness beyond almost anything I've ever seen. And then there's the plot - or lack thereof. One would think this was a troll, but sadly, the troll who wrote the last chapter shows us that this author is dead serious. To top it off, there's a movie version of this dreck. So, enjoy, and let the tears of blood spill!
by Gofer-chan
1 2
PLOT: Goku transports into the year 1945, falls in love with Anne Frank, and kicks some Nazi ass. Meanwhile, we learn the terrifying secret to Hitler's power; can he be stopped?
CANON(S): Dragon Ball Z (World War II is not a canon, people. Stop treating it like one, please)
NEW CHARACTERS:N/A
RATING: N/A
THE DEFINING QUOTE: Hitler continued laughing, then finally said "Goku! You came here expecting to find a madman, but instead, you found a GOD!" Hitler had become a Super Saiyan.
COMMENTS: I know what I said about "no real people", but I had to make an exception for this little gem. The sheer ludicrousy of the story is underlined by the oh-so-"epic" final battle where, naturally, Goku wins and gets the girl - despite the fact that he's married (and even tells his new beloved this!) and despite the fact that Hitler is a GOD! That, and Anne Frank is only fifteen and Goku is....well, he could be any age at this point. I can imagine that Chi Chi, Gohan, Goten, Master Roshi, or most people with any ounce of decency) will not happy about that. Especially Master Roshi - that's his territory Goku's going into, damnit!
by laura
Click here to read
PLOT: Legolas must save the damsel in distress, Laura, from the evil cluthces of Mordor. Will he succeed?
NEW CHARACTERS: Laura
RATING: G
QUOTE: The entire story, because it's basically one big sentence anyhow
COMMENTS: The story above is affectionately known by itsas "legolas by laura". Indeed, it is hard not to identify with this author without this one story, the single fanfiction she wrote. It's pretty obvious why - a 10 year old Sue in distress who can withstand being raped by the forces of Sauron and still live to destroy him, not to mention win the heart of Legolas, misspellings ("Mondor"?), and of course the monster one-sentence paragraphs which define Legolas as the LOTR ramblefic. Of course, it's unfinished, but it only adds to the inherent terribleness of this story. A lesson on why little kids shouldn't write fanfiction.
by Link's Queen
Click here to read
PLOT: The author learns the power of Lucid Dream after playing Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, and dreams of herself living with Link and becoming his wife.
NEW CHARACTERS: Link the Second and Princess Jenna, because really, those are the only two that matter
RATING: R
QUOTE: The Author's Notes at the beginning of the story. Trust me, they still don't prepare you for what's going to come
COMMENTS: You know, it's never a good sign when every attempt to keep a fanfic on one file as it was in the original results in your computer crashing. Yes, this is one of those run-on fanfics that would have never ended had the author had their way, by a fan who gets power-ups from the game upon pressing the power button on the game system (why oh WHY can't I do the cool Suck attack Kirby has? I've only played the game for four years!!), who also ignore half of the game's canon in order to get her way. And on top of that, it's a really wacky half-tiger pyro Sue that likes drinking....certain things that only Link can thoughtfully provide. Clean-up on aisle five!
by The Dark Ranger
Agony in Pink
Intro
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8
Agony in Pink 2: A New Ending
1 2 3 4 5 6
Agony in Pink 3: Agony in Yellow
1 2 3 4 5
PLOT: The series that chronicle the various tortures of the female Power Rangers by their enemies; can any of them be saved before its too late?
NEW CHARACTERS: Tortura
RATING: R
QUOTE: Alpha-5 began to run around the room chanting "Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi, Kimberly's been tortured to death! What are we going to do?"
COMMENTS: Prepare for your childhood memories to be destroyed if you were a Power Ranger fan. This story series has become synonymous with the use of torture in fanfiction - and amazingly enough, for a series where the author takes pleasure in torturing various female characters in long, drawn-out ways through several chapters (he also wrote a torturefic based on Leia's torture in Star Wars called "The Interrogation of Leia", of course), the tortures are basically the same. Not that this excuses the author, of course - one wonders if he actually just hates women in general.
by balzo
Click here to read
PLOT: As cocaine addict Scrooge McDuck enters his final years, he looks back on his life and his greatest desires. Will any of them ever be fulfilled?
NEW CHARACTERS: None
RATING: R
QUOTE: "Why ye be yakin’ at my craken ol’ banshee hoe bitch?"
COMMENTS: The companion to care too much, this was balzo's other fic, which is no less disturbing than the first. It's probably more disturbing, because you have to believe that every character in this is gay, and you have to believe that Duck Tales was this depraved, to believe this fic even one iota. Which still doesn't answer how Mrs. Beasley had Webbygail in the days before artificial insemination if she was a lesbian. But I'm clearly thinking into this too much. I'm just glad the author left Launchpad alone. *gouges eyes out...again*
unknown
Click here to read
PLOT: The true story of Elrond's doomed elven bride. What really happened after she was taken by the orcs?
NEW CHARACTERS: Tons of orcs
RATING: R
QUOTE: Do you really want to hear a quote from this?
COMMENTS: This is, without a doubt, the world's worst fanfic. Forget about anything else you've seen on the website, and I truly mean it. You will never look at anything the same again. You'll never look at Lord of the Rings, females, ice cream, tattoos, watermelons, canteloupes, noses, the colors silver or lavender, ice cream, pillow talk, human anatomy, sex, life in general.....actually, you know what? Just douse yourself with gas and set yourself on fire after you read this fanfic. It's that horrid. No, I don't care if it has excellent spelling in it. Just....auugh, Auugh. Urge to throw up......rising....!
Got some non-Sailor Moon fics you want me to put up? Happen to have a copy of "Cloud Mows the Lawn", a really bad Yu-Gi-Oh abusefic, or an Elmo fic about Hurricane Katrina sitting on your computer (if you do have the latter, wow. Just wow)? Do you know where to find the worst of the worst? Send it to me, and it may be considered for this shortlist. Remember, RPS will not be considered.
Have a nice day! :)
Sailor Moon and related characters are copyrighted ©1991-2007 Naoko Takeuchi.
