by Dr. Thinker
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PLOT:Sailor Moon and her four scouts poop into another dimension and team up with its guardian, Sarah, aka Sailor Sun, to defeat Ramma, The Dark Wiz, and Vortex, a strange portal-sucking creature.....Oops, did I say "poop"? That was supposed to be "pop"....I think....
NEW CHARACTERS: Sarah, aka Sailor Sun; the four alter-dimension sailors; Jenny aka Sailor Earth; Ramma aka Donna; Orion the cat; Vortex.
LENGTH: 3540 words
RATING: N/A
COMMENTS: Aah, so this is the infamous Dr. Thinker. The infamous creator of fanfics who stands alongside Oscar in the realm of Early Fandom Ideas of Strangeness. But unlike Oscar, he wasn't into beastiality, instead winding into other realms, throwing down every interesting idea he had onto paper. He's a man more after my own heart, and he'd probably make a somewhat decent author if he was capable of writing coherently in the English language. Bless him.
This, according to some, is his earliest known surviving fanfiction, and it is a doozy. Everything you may have been told about Dr. Thinker is true. Aside from the resulting complete blandness of the plot (Sailor Moon gets replaced by Sue in a retelling of the first two seasons, fights all of the same villains, is one of the few people capable of beating the bad guy, written entirely in script form, etc.) what clearly makes this fanfiction stand out is the messiness that is the actual written part of the story. If you can actually figure out what is going on in the story (most of it seems to consist of flashbacks, but the very shaky handling of the passage of time makes this doubtful) then you deserve a medal. Or a mdela. Or a emdla.
Which brings us to the astonishing array of incoherent dialogue, which causes the fanfiction to be even funnier (and in some cases, dirtier) than was clearly intended - a hallmark of Dr. Thinker. and we get such clearly stated sentences as " This the world you live normal!! " or "Look! The Sun Staff in come out of Sailor Sun's body." It reads like something Babelfished several times over, no mean feat since, no doubt, this fic was probably written before we had the capability to have Backstroke of the West, with charming phrases like"The front is a lemon avenue flying straightly", "pull the name of the gram republic with the space" and "I was just made by the Presbyterian Church".
And the misspellings! The loverly msipelinsg. (yes, that was intentional.) We get a smorgasbord of different spellings, for characters like Ramma, who gets at least three different spellings (Rema, Ramma, Rama), and for different words, such as "cosmic" and "punish". Seriously, people literally poop out of nowhere wearing tairas in this story! And people wearing genuine unfirmons are goon out of sight before you know it. And lets we forget that Lita transforms into the all powerful scouts of thunder, Jutiper, or that Darrien is Tudexo Mask,. Of course, I don't mean to nick-pit this story, but frankly, in terms of grammar, it is quite irredeemable. Surprisingly, Dr. Thinker, bad writer he may be, understood this from the start.
Bad Joke! It's still good for a laugh, though.
Sailor Moon and related characters are copyrighted ©1991-2006 Naoko Takeuchi.
