A-Chan: (adjusts headphones) Greetings, fighting game fans!
Jin: Salutations! (adjusts his headphones and mic, gets major feedback and falls over backwards, twitching)
A-Chan: (sweatdrops) I told Kuma to fix that...
Jin: *blink* ...who?
In the Technical Support Room
Kuma: (growls something and tries to press two broken wires together) Rar... (stops and starts to think about Panda, little hearts dancing around his head..) ...*sigh*... (something short-circuits in the background)
Back in the Booth:
Jin: (back upright in his seat) We have a great few matches ahead of us, but first, we have to introduce one of our new hosts!
Down in the Arena:
A spotlight swerves to one of the corners, revealing a young man, perhaps mid-twenties, his disshevelled blonde hair kept hidden under a red cap save for a long ponytail. He is simply clad in stonwash jeans, a white T-shirt and a red jacket; none other than --
Back in the Booth:
A-Chan: Terry Bogard!
Down in the Arena:
Terry: Get on with the show, already!
Back in the Booth:
A-Chan: Okay, okay.. ^_^; Jin, announce it, please?
Down in the Arena:
A twin spotlight laces over to the blue corner to reveal a young man with (as announced) long almost white-ish hair, in a white tank-top style shirt, and knee-high boots. He flips his hair over his shoulder in an almost arrogant gesture and then smirks at his opponent.
Back in the Booth:
Jin: Andy Bogard!
Down in the Arena:
(the Fatal Fury/King of Fighters crowd begins booing)
Back in the Booth:
A-Chan: Why those impertinent little...
Down in the Arena:
(No one is really appearing impressed)
Everyone: ...
Back in the Booth:
A-Chan: And furthermore!! (eyes become dark, and lowers her voice) When I sit at this keyboard, and decide it is time to write, I control your every aspect, your every detail and movement, no matter how slight...
Down in the Arena:
Lord Raptor: (pinky twitches) ...eh? Whot, now? (hair begins to sway in an imaginary wind)
Back in the Booth:
A-Chan: For me, you shall talk, for me, you shall walk, you shall bend over backwards until your head is propped cleanly upon your back..
Down in the Arena:
Eddy (Tekken3): (bends over backwards until his head is propped on his back) ...'dis reminds me of one of my moves, mon!
A-Chan: At a tap of my keyboard, you will do anything I want you to do!! (lightning crashes in the background)
Down in the Arena:
Guile: (is suddenly bald with an odd oriental ponytail) AGH! My majestic buzzcut!
Back in the Booth
A-Chan: I am the Omega!!
Down in the Arena:
Sofia: (boobs pop) OH!! (covers her.. uh.. lack-thereof)
Back in the Booth:
A-Chan: I control the vertical! I control the horizontal! I con-- (gets Jin's hand smacked over her mouth)
Down in the Arena:
Terry pulls down his cap a bit and smirks.
Terry: All right, Andy, I ain't gonna hold back!
Andy flips his hair over his shoulder, and motions for Terry to "come get some". However, the two just stand there a minute, smirking.
Back in the Booth:
Jin: ...is anything going to happen?
Down in the Arena:
Terry and Andy charge at exactly the same time, Andy leaping into the air, and Terry becoming airborne as well. Terry's tennis shoe connects with Andy's cheek, and Andy's foot hits hard into Terry's upper chest. Andy uses the impact to propel backwards into a backflip, landing in a crouch. Terry takes the hit full on, and stumbles back a little, regaining his composure in little more than a second.
Terry: Wow, not bad, Andy!
Terry runs at Andy again, Andy returning the charge (don't they always?) and a vicious exchange begins. Whenever Terry lands a punch to the jaw, Andy will follow through on a punch to the cheek. If Andy completed a kick to the clavicle, you can bet Terry successfully whooped Andy one in the kisser. You know how those two boys are...! Andy eventually backs off a little, and Terry grins.
Andy glows sort of a pinkish color and begins to give off a Saturday Night Fever quality strobe.
Terry: Oh wow! I've also completed a new secret technique! ARRRGGGGHHH!!!
Terry glows bluish and starts to reflect like a disco ball.
Back in the Booth:
A-Chan: (hypnotized by the glow) Pretty.. lights... must dance...
Down in the Arena:
Terry and Andy are completely charged, and everyone else in the arena and booth (except Callie) are doing some 1970-something boogie woogie. And I'll bet you laughed when people said disco was coming back. Terry smirks at Andy one last time, and then starts to run for him. Andy doesn't wait for an invitation (actually, he doesn't even wait for Terry to start running, he takes off at the same time).
Terry: SUPER DUPER 'WORD TO YOUR MAMA' BURN KNUCKLE!!
Andy, glowing a nice neon fuschia, leaps into the air, his leg looking as if it were consumed in rose-hued flames, and Terry stays earthbound, his hand glowing a brilliant blue, evident of a "Burn Knuckle" preparation. Recipe for disaster? We think so.
Andy: NOOOOooooOOooOOooOoOOoOoOoOOOoOOOoooooooooo...!!
Andy falls to the ground in a convulsing heap, as Terry takes off his hat and throws it in the air victoriously. Now that the glowing is over, the spell over the arena seems to be broken, and everyone returns to normal (personality and clothing). A medical team comes out and hauls Andy onto a stretcher as Mai cries about how she had wanted kids.
Back in the Booth:
A-Chan: Wow... what a match! One we'll never see the likes of again, most likely.
Down in the Arena:
The spotlight swivels to the red corner to reveal a man in his mid-forties built like a truck, with a stupid grin, cracking his knuckles. One could also note his column hair defies gravity. Well, who else COULD it be but...
Back in the Booth:
Callie: PAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUL PHOOOOOOEEEEENIIIIIIX!!
Down in the Arena:
The spotlight criss crosses to the blue corner, where a brown, slight curly-haired dude with an average sized spork in hand, is waiting patiently for the match to begin.
Back in the Booth:
A-Chan: Bryan!
Down in the Arena:
Paul laughs heartily.
Paul: Hey there, junior! You can't beat me, hmmmm?!?
Bryan leaps into the air, and does a double flip with a twist, becoming parallel to the wall in his flight. While twisting and turning in the air, he thrusts the spork down towards the ground. Paul is dumbfounded by the handy acrobatics, and just stands there, watching. As Bryan sails over the top of Paul, he uses some unforseen power to thrust himself back towards the ground, beginning to spin like a top on it's axis. The spork entangles itself in Paul's hairspray-ridden cylinder of hair, and begins to twirl around and around and around with the force of Bryan whirl.
Paul: Oh no, hmm! My purdy mane, know whadem sayin'?!
Bryan is gaining momentum, and spinning faster and faster all the time, Paul's hair becoming even more wrapped about the plastic enigma of eating utensils. At some length, Bryan is going too fast for his body's packaging to handle, and explodes into many many bits of flesh and blood, splattering about the arena. A collective "ew" is issued. However, Paul does not go unaffected. The force of Bryan's explosion yanks the spork away with his hand, yanking every strand of hair from Paul's head.
Paul: (standing there bald) Oh no...!! (feels his Mr. Clean 'do) My hair...! I... I surrender, hmmm?!?
Back in the Booth:
A-Chan: (consulting her rule book) What happens if the opponent dies before the other surrenders...?
Down in the Arena:
A red spotlight finds its way to the corner, to reveal a young woman in a rather revealing pink get-up, a fan in one hand, and trust us; she was bouncing up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and...
Back in the Booth:
Jin: Mai Shiranui!
Down in the Arena:
A blue spotlight lights a woman with blonde hair held up in a ponytail, and the kinkiest black leather dress you ever did see in a fighting game. She smiles, accentuating blood red lips, and cracks her whip to the side.
Back in the Booth:
Jin: Sofia!
Down in the Arena:
The last spotlight shines down upon a woman with hair to match her corner color, and two black bat wings spread behind her. A matching set of smaller wings juts out of her hair, and she is displaying an arrogant smirk.
Back in the Booth:
Jin: Morrigan Aensland!
Down in the Arena:
Sofia: Ho ho ho! Mai! It's too bad your little boy-toy got a hard peg in his assets...
One of Mai's boobs pops.
Back in the Booth:
A-Chan: I'm.. not quite that.. unconscious... (Fanboys everywhere are gonna hate me after Part 2 ^_^;)
Down in the Arena:
Mai: Oh, now my straps don't fit right!
Morrigan leaps into the air, and doing a quick spin her lower half transforms into a spinning drill, which she launches at Mai full force. The kunoichi nimbly hops to the side, and launches a few fans at the succubus, who sweeps one of her wings in front of her to deflect the onslaught. Sofia, not wanting to be left out of the ho-down (really..) sends her whip towards Morrigan's exposed back, and is able to put a nice slice between the shoulder blades.
Ladies and gentlemen, Morrigan is pissed.
She reels around and launches a throbbing projectile of energy at Sofia, knocking her over on contact. Mai then does her little Dragon Fire Dance (Oh, I don't know the name of it and I'm not looking it up! Nyah!) Morrigan takes this hit in the back as well, and is in considerable pain for someone of her expertise.
Morrigan: Oh, I hate these double up matches...
Morrigan outstretches a hand and transforms her fingers into long iron-like claws, and punctures Mai's remaining breast. She then smirks self-satisfactorily.
Sofia: (chuckles to herself)
Mai begins to glow a cherry blossom pink color.
Joe: Oh, no, man! Not her, too! (sighs) Do we all do that?
Mai: OKII MUNE HAZUMU!!
Back in the Booth:
Jin flushes a scarlet color, but snickers a bit anyway.
Hwoarang: ...dammit, I don't do Japanese! What was that?
Down in the Arena:
Mai runs at Sofia and Morrigan, and to everyone's amazement, her boobs just seem to pop back out as if they were just in hibernation, and she proceeds to well... use her breasts! It's a left to Morrigan's cheek, a right to Sofia's stomach, a right to Morrigan's ribs, a left, right, left to Sofia's face. The barrage of her fast-moving chest attack, until her opponents are reeling.
Mai stops and brings the fan up. Everything bounces.
Mai: Nippon ichi! ^_^ V
Morrigan unsteadily rises to her feet, slumped over in a weakened stance.
Morrigan: Now... watch as I unveil... my victory!
Morrigan thrusts herself triumphantly into the air and outstretches one arm, holding something that will guarantee her win. The sunlight catches the silvery circle just right, causing a light flare to spindle off it in a chain of diamonds. The entire audience gasps in awe, and Mai's eyes go wide as milk saucers.
Mai: You... you wouldn't....!
Mai lets out one last gurgled cry of "NO!" before Morrigan proceeds to pounce her and begin her work. Most of the men have to turn and cover their eyes to hide the tears, and the women (smaller chested ones, anyway) cheer on the Darkstalker.
After a few seconds, the deed is done. Morrigan has duct-taped Mai's assets down. Permanently.
Morrigan: (cackles) That's succubi duct-tape! You'll NEVER get it off!
Morrigan narrows her eyes, then looks up towards the booth with a predatory look.
Morrigan: Now, to further my plan... with that wicked little writer half-unconscious from that mob of fan-girls I manipulated into coming here, I can take over her position and hang out all day with Jin and Hwoarang!
Morrigan launches into the air, using her powerful wing-span to propel herself...
Back in the Booth:
...straight through the glass of the booth window.
Jin: (shielding eyes from glass) Hey! You can't do that!
Morrigan leaps into the air and turns one of her legs into a long sharp blade, and flies effortlessly towards the prone fanfic writer. However, without warning, there is a flash of some undistinguishable kind, almost like an instant of the room being shrouded in mist, and Morrigan's deadly assault only hits the cushioning of a chair's back.
A-Chan: Bad move... nobody ever is dumb enough to attack the writer...
There is a deafening sound not unlike the draining of air from a balloon as both Morrigan's - oh I can't think of any more words for them that are non-perverted! - things deflate. She is then shoved forward by A-Chan's hand resting on the back of her skull, and delivered straight out the booth's broken window from a flashingly quick round-house.
Everyone stares at an obviously groggy A-Chan who is now dusting off her hands, and readjusting her microphone.
Jin: (stares blankly at the two-second-ago weakened A-Chan) A-san, you... you just beat Morrigan...
A-Chan shakily exits the room, one hand cradling her gurgling stomach.
Jin: *sighs* Poor A-san, she tries so hard... It's a great honor to work with such a unique persona, don't you think? (looks happily at Hwoarang and Callie)
A-Chan is leaning against the door, snickering a bit.
A-Chan: I'm a hypocrite, so sue me. ^_^ (spins around, fully recovered, and winks) Tune in next time folks, for the exciting Part 3! As always, feel free to tell us who should be facing off against who! Plus, even MORE co-hosts! Ja ne!
Part 1 - Writing Page - Part 3
A-Chan: That's right! This is a good friend of mine, named Callie! She wanted to be here to see.. uh.. certain fighters! ^_^; Say hi, Callie!
Callie: ...hey.
A-Chan: So, Callie.. er.. C-Chan? No.. Callie.. do you like being here with the stars?
Callie: Sure.
A-Chan: Ready to meet your assistant?
Callie: I guess.
A-Chan: Okay.. come on out, Hwoarang!
Hwoarang: (steps out of the background with his headphones hung around his neck) All right! Finally, I don't have to sit with all those losers down in the arena seats! (sits down in his neat wheely-chair and puts his arm around Callie) When do we begin?
Callie: ... (faints)
A-Chan: Oh, dammit.. Jin, be a darling and get a bucket of water, wouldn't you?
Jin: ...
A-Chan: ...Jin?
Jin: ...
A-Chan: ...Jin!! Water!! Now!!
Jin: ...wha... what is HE.. doing here...?!
Hwoarang: (looks over) ...
Jin: ...
Hwoarang: ...
A-Chan: ...this is a VS battle for fighting games, not dots!!
Jin: (jaw clenched) Fine.
A-Chan: Awwww... Jin-chan... Do I sense some tension?
Jin: (very forced)...no. None. At. All. (glares daggers at Hwoarang)
Hwoarang: None here, either. Although I'd watch out, girl. If you're not careful you'll be missin' a host between matches, 'cause he'll have to call his mommy after every fight to assure her he's not hurt.
Jin: ...(politely ignores Hwoarang)
Hwoarang: Oooh, he's all stoic-like, huh? (grins) Well I -- OW!! (pounded over head with mallet)
A-Chan: (putting mallet away) No taunting my co-host! Taunt your own!
Jin: (pulls down lower eyelid and sticks his tongue out at Hwoarang)
Hwoarang: (grumbles..)
A-Chan: (throws bucket of water on Callie and sits back down) Now! Our next match is between two well-recognized members of the Fighting Game community, and we have them right here, right now, ready to prove who is best!! Ladies and gentlemen... in the red corner, the solitary and ever-wandering "Lone Wolf" of martial arts...
Callie: (smacks Amy upside the head) You got me wet! You bitch!
A-Chan: Oww.. itai..
Callie: It-what?
A-Chan: Never mind...
Jin and Hwoarang: In the blue cor--
(beat)
Jin: That's _my_ line.
Hwoarang: Well then, how come I can see it written here on _my_ cue to announce the blue corner?
Jin: (looks at A-Chan in hurt shock) You're letting HIM announce it?!
A-Chan: No! I put it on your cue! (checks both cues) Ooooh... silly me! (laughs meekly) I accidently printed two of your cues!
Jin and Hwoarang: (mutter something)
Hwoarang: So, what do I do?
A-Chan: Uh.. sit there and look good 'till I figure something out...
Hwoarang: Cool. I'm good at that. (grins)
Sho: ... (balls hands into fists)
Jin: Right! Ladies and gentlemen, in the blue corner, the long-haired bleachy blonde, who we suspect is only in Fatal Fury to impress the lady audience and upset his would-be girlfriend, the pretty boy who could not be put in the previous match...
A-Chan: Let the match be--
Joe: We already know Terry's better!
Mai: *gasp* What are you talking about, Joe?! Andy's clearly the better one!
Kim: I have fought Terry, and he is an excellent fighter! I am positive he is better than Andy!
King (KOF): This match is pointless, Terry will win with barely any effort
King (of Tekken): ...
Kyo: I could probably beat them both..
(everyone stares blandly at Kyo)
Kyo: (coughs) But Terry would beat Andy hands down!
Callie: They need to shut up. This match would be funny.
Jin: (coughs) A-san?
A-Chan: (grumbling incoherently, then suddenly in mock sweetness) Yeeees, Jin-chan?
Jin: You... are the writer... why don't you threaten to um... you know... exercise your great powers upon them?
Hwoarang: (scoffs) I'd just yell at 'em.
A-Chan: (blinking) That's... brilliant!
Jin: ^_^ I thought so.
Hwoarang: (cough)Writer's pet(cough)
A-Chan: (stands up on her chair to enhance her height and throws her arms up in the air) Now, hear this, ye video games! I am flesh and blood, while you are no more than so many concept sketches and CGI! When my mallet does pound into someone's head, it is from force and impact, not from the game engine telling you to fall over! When I walk and the Earth does tremble and rumble, it is from foot hitting ground, not from sound effect!
Jin: I thought it was from too much junkfood... (receives an almighty smack from A-Chan's mallet) Itai! (rubs his head) I was kidding...
A-Chan: Like I said about that mallet...
Jin: Oh man, oh man, oh man, I never should have suggested this...
Hwoarang: You are s-such an idiot if y-you're s-s-sca-scar.. afraid of this... (hiding under his wheely-chair and trembling like an autumn leaf in a squall)
A-Chan: I am the Alpha!!
Chaos: (has a buzzcut) Wha..?! Ha, ha!! HAAA!! ...whaaaatttt?!?!?!?
Jin: A-san, you had them at the breasts popping.. they no longer doubt your authority.. (stares forlornly at the group of mourners [all male, mind you])
A-Chan: (removes Jin's hand from her big mouth) Okay, cool.
Hwoarang: So, do we get this show on the road or what?
A-Chan: Absolutely!
Andy: And neither will I!
Hwoarang: These two don't know the meaning of "after you," do they?
Andy: You're not bad either..
Joe: Do they *always* exchange the exact same blather?! (cups hands around mouth) Awww, COME ON! Fight it out, don't discuss it!
Mai: You're one to talk, Joe.
Joe: > <; Heeeey, watch it!!
Cammy: Do *THEY* always exchange the exact same blather, too?
Eddy (Tekken): (shakes head)
Terry: Aw, Andy, are you giving up already?
Andy: No, Terry... I am not!! In fact, our fighting has just helped me develop a new secret technique with which I will beat you! HYYYYAAAHHHHH!!!
Jin: (swirly eyed) I don't know how to dance... ...but I must..
Hwoarang: (gawking) I... I have the fever!
A-Chan, Jin and Hwoarang: DISCO FEVER!! (bust out in their 1970's club clothes and suede platforms to groove all night long)
Callie: ....oh my GOD. You guys aren't serious.
A-Chan: (doing 'the point') Lop some boogie!
Jin: (in the white open shirt complete with gold medallion) I am the soooouuuul train!
Hwoarang: (with big orange afro) Oh yeah... dance, mama!
Andy: SAKURA KIREI KEN!!
Terry moves away from Andy's incoming "cherry blossom" foot at just the right angle to dodge it by a spare inch. His super duper word to your mama burn knuckle does not miss, however, and ends up getting landed in a ... painful place. An opening's an opening, they say!
Terry: Ah-hah! I win!
Hwoarang: Hopefully...
Jin: (supressing laughter) Heh... hey, Hwoarang, you had a 'fro...
Hwoarang: Grr... shut up!!
A-Chan: It's a good thing everyone else was dancing, too...
Callie: (to herself) No... it's a good thing I had my camera.
A-Chan, Jin and Hwoarang: What...?!
Callie: Uh... (looks from left to right nervously) I could sing in my pajamas.
A-Chan: ...of course.
Jin: Next match?
A-Chan: (nods) Callie, why don't we announce it?
Callie: Okay. (takes card and clears throat) (takes on very expressive, thundering announcer voice) OOOKKKKAAAYYY!!!!!!! NOW!! IIIIIIIIIIIIIiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin the red corner....!!! This is a man who lives off the smell of gasoline and a large pepperoni; hold the anchovis!! He's been training his WHOOOOOOOOOooooooooooole life to BE!! THE!! BEST!!! Ladies and gentlemen...
Jin and Hwoarang: (stare blankly) Wow, that girl can announce...
A-Chan: (nervously, and thinking to herself I can't top her mad as a weasel in a blender announcing skills...!) Um... okay... the opponent!! In the blue corner, wielding only his worldly spork as a weapon, and his.... uh... (looks at her co-hosts for support)
Jin, Hwoarang and Callie: (look helplessly at each other then shrug)
A-Chan: Okay... scratch that! Wielding only, and we mean ONLY his worldly spork as a weapon, meet a guy who is willing to take on a world-class martial artist with little more than bare hands!
(beat)
Jin: That's Bryan? Bryan Fury?
Hwoarang: No, are you blind, that's not Tekken Bryan! That's just some... guy...
Jin: ...uh huh?
Hwoarang: Who is that?
A-Chan: Ugh, don't ask, he wanted to be written in, so I gave him a chance! (batting eyes and clasping hands girlishly) Can ya blame me for having a heart of gold? Heey! (laughs) He might win, ya know? (grinning as cutely as possible)
Jin: (exchanges an incredulous glance with Hwoarang) Okay, A-san, if you say so...
Hwoarang: (shrugs) Why not?
A-Chan: Yay!
Callie: Uhhhhhhhh-LLLET'S GET READY TO RUUUUUUUMBLLLLLEEEEEEE!!!
Bryan: um... i can try...
Paul: 'm gunna beat you senseless!! Hmmm!?? Whatcha think of that, huh?
Bryan: i think i'm ready to spork you...
Paul: (blinks) Whatarrayasayin', there? What?
Everyone: Not really..
Jin: (consulting handbook from the first half of the Tournament) I... I don't know...!
Callie: Let the dead guy win. That way we don't have to pay anyone the victory money.
A-Chan and Jin: (blink)
A-Chan: Frugal and greedy... but smart!
Jin: Isn't that kind of... (world cracks like a shattered mirror as everything drones to black and red) DECEIVING?!?!!? (woman's scream and car crash in the background)
A-Chan: (blinks at Jin, and sweatdrops) ^_^; Oh, Jin-chan! That's not deception! It's... ...conservative business tactics!
Jin: (looks at A-Chan) ...reeeaally...?
A-Chan: Um... (pause) ...yes!
Jin: Well... okay...
A-Chan: ^_^;;
Callie: My cue says there's one more match. Is there?
A-Chan: Oh yeah! There is! And a whopper of one, I might say!
Jin: Oh, A-san! (gets on hands and knees and begs) Can I announce it, please please, can I? ( flashes the big, brown puppy-dog eyes)
A-Chan: (blinks and stares a minute in silence)
Jin: ...A-san?
A-Chan: Awwwwwww!! You're so cuuuuuute!!! (drops down and huggles Jin for all he's worth, causing a mob of angry fan girls to assault her with rabid mongooses)
Jin: (looks forlornly at the mass of begrudged, chewed up cloth and headphones that is A-Chan) Gomen nasai, A-san.. my fault...
A-Chan: ..t.. think nothin' of it, sweetie.. go announce the match.. (collapses in a twitching collaboration of garbled nerves)
Jin: (scratches the back of his head) Is she gonna be okay?
Callie: (shrugs)
Hwoarang: (pokes A-Chan, and then props her up in her chair) I think she'll pull through. But mongoose bites can be pretty nasty, mind you.
Jin: (looking annoyed) And how would _you_ know that?
Hwoarang: (caught off-guard) I, uh... (tugs lightly on his collar) I don't... I mean... I don't know. (grins nervously) Guessing? Guessing..?
Jin: (shakes his head and takes out the announcement cue) In the red corner! With her long red hair, and deadly accuracy with a fan, she's been called the Ninja Queen of Japan! (covers mic) ...she has?
Callie: Keep announcing. (glances grimly at A-Chan) ...Amy would want it that way.
Jin: (holding back a sob [really, he was gonna cry, he was upset... really...]) Y... you're right.. (uncovers mic) She iiiiiiis...
Hwoarang: Daaamn, those are some huge...
Jin: (glares at Hwoarang and shakes his head in warning)
Hwoarang: ....fans.
Jin: That's right... you admire those fans, now..
Hwoarang: I got enough fans of my own.. (grins smugly)
Jin: (thinking to himself Moron...) In the blue corner, she claims she could whip the guy of her choice, and she means it, she really does have a whip..
Hwoarang: Kink-y...
Jin: No, really.. (coughs) Contestant 2 is..!
Hwoarang: How does a woman handle things that size?
Jin: (looks at Hwoarang and shrugs) I never understand how women can fight with them at all, really...
Hwoarang: I know.. I'd die if I had to try and fight with those in my way all the time.. Dude, I'd trip all over myself!
Jin: Yeah, it's a good thing guys aren't expected to wear high heels..
Hwoarang: I'll say...
Jin: And finally! In the green corner!
Hwoarang: Whoa, a three-way match?
Jin: That would be what it says... with a lust beyond belief, she claims it's just the way of her species, and a really cool set of wings, this figure head of female fighters believes it's okay to change your lower body into a drill or your wings into blades and still be sexy...
Hwoarang: Geez! Those things are humongous! Man, that can't be normal...
Jin: (covering mic) Must you point out every little detail? She's not the ONLY girl with a set of them in that caliber, ya know...
Hwoarang: Okay, granted, but they're HUGE! See, those are another thing I couldn't fight with, dude, no matter HOW hard I try.
Jin: Well, some guys have pulled it off before.
Hwoarang: (rolls his eyes) Some freaky-ass guys, if you ask me..
Jin: (narrows eyes) My father was one of them...
Hwoarang: So were you, heh heh..
Jin: (scoffs) There's nothing wrong with having wings..
Hwoarang: Okay, okay, let's get to the damn match, huh?
Jin: All right.. Callie?
Callie: (clears throat) Uhhhhhhhh-LEEEEEEEET'S GET READY TO RUUUUMBLLLLEEEEE!!!
Morrigan: (chuckling) That's right... you have such nice child-bearing hips...
Mai: Grrr... at least the writer doesn't cause one of my boobs to explode! (smirks and nods matter-of-factly) Guess you can't do that with the REAL ones!
Morrigan: Oh, poor little ninja girl... Time to finish you off!
Mai: Oooo.. poor baby! (sticks her thumbs in her ears and wiggles her fingers) Can't take on a REAL woman, can y--
Mai: ...ou.
Morrigan: Oh, sorry... en guarde!
Mai: Agh! I don't speak French! Oooooooo! Now I'm REEEEEEAAALLY ANGRY!
Billy: Oh, bloody hell...
Krauser: How unfortunate.
Morrigan/Sofia: GASP! No, anything but that!
Jin: Just watch...
Callie: ....
Sofia: (knocked out cold) ...
Morrigan: Urgh... you may have one down... but... I had a defense planned for this...
Morrigan: OH YES!! I would!! (cackles evilly and advances towards her)
Mai: (backs away, shivering) No... no, please! Please, no!
Morrigan: (wearing an insane look of deranged pleasure) Come, come... when you're older you'll start doing this if you can't afford surgery anyway...
Mai: (sobbing uncontrollably) I, I can't go on! I give up! WAAAHH!
Hwoarang: Yeah, really... you could have gotten glass in my hair, you psycho bitch!
Callie: Ah... oh, no.
Morrigan: (directs her gaze toward a dazed A-Chan) Now, you die...!
The succubus spins around immediately to search for her victim, but is suddenly knocked forward from a powerful crack on the back of her skull, delivered by a jumbo-size mallet. Before Morrigan can hit the ground, however, there's a blur of motion, and another hard hit from the mallet's handle in her stomach. She tries to spin to the side to avoid the invisible aggressor, but suddenly feels a hand against the back of her head. She lets out a small gasp.
A-Chan: (yawns) I'm all powerful in these fics, Jin-chan... of course I did. ^_^
Hwoarang: (eye twitches) But.. that means you won the match...
Callie: (cracks up laughing, leaning over in her seat)
A-Chan: (looks slightly annoyed) Yeah, so? I didn't wanna get smacked around, I had to...
Jin: (exasperated) A-san! You just won the Battle of the Bust!
A-Chan: .... Would you excuse me? I have to go lose my lunch.
Hwoarang: ...sounds to me like you got a thing for the writer.
Jin: (frowns a little bit) A-san isn't like those other writers who pin up her favorite character with herself... She wouldn't do that to me, although (voice changes as if it was dubbed over) she is so attractive and I can't help but think what it would be like to be more than her co-host! (voice goes back to normal) You know what I mean?
