The Great Tekken 3 Fanfic-Type-Thingy!
"Wha'the hell?!" yelled Paul, pounding his fist on the check-in counter. "I ain't sharin' no room with those punk-ass people, hmmmmm? Ya got me there, junior?!"
The clerk fidgeted uncertainly, poking his two index fingers together. "I-I-I-I-I'm sorry, Mr. Phoenix, sir, but, uh uh, t-t-t-there are uh... no other rooms open... there would b-be enough room for all of you..!" He flashed a grin; one that was meant to be friendly, but turned out shaky.
Paul growled and held a steady glare with the clerk. The bald, bespectacled clerk began to sweat, dabbing away the perspiration with a small handkerchief. "What if I gave you the room for free....? ...eh... heh...?"
Paul thought a moment. And another moment. And... another moment. The clerk waited in nervous anticipation, keeping his nervous smile the whole while. Finally Paul shrugged. "Okay."
The clerk thanked his lucky stars and then plastered on a grin that was all butter and honey. "Hold on, hold on RIGHT THERE, Mr. Phoenix!! I'll go fix up the room RIGHT THIS VERY INSTANT!!!!"
Paul shrugged again. "I guess I'll go tell the stupid little punks about this deal, then." He stalked over to the group of other Tournament entrees in the lobby. He folded his arms over his leather jacket-bound chest, trying to look gruff, and then stomped down to them.
"Alright... listen up," he began. " I dunno what you guys are gonna think... but they're hookin' us all up in the same room, uh-kay? We, uh... get it for free... or uh..." Paul scratched his head and thought reeeeaaal hard. "Yeah. Yeah, that. Free, and that shit."
Hwoarang was first to speak up, flicking some of his red hair out of his eyes. "There is no way in HELL... I am sharing a room with any of you. I'd rather sleep... I'd rather sleep..." Hwoarang searched his mind for the most disgusting place he could ever think of to be overnight. "I'd rather sleep in Heihachi's sock drawer!" he finished.
Heihachi, who had become quite senile now, two years after the last Iron Fist Tournament, laughed insanely at this, and opening his suitcase stated "That can be arranged, boooooooyyyy!!!! MWAHAHAHA!! Gwahaha!! WHOOHOO!!"
Hwoarang began to sweat seeing the whole suitcase was filled completely with socks. Then Eddy reached over and swiped a pair of orange socks with pineapple print on them. "Hey, mon! Don't be takin' my socks, mon!"
Nina sighed, exasperated. "Come on, then, laddies, let us be off to our room, then, aye?" she suggested in her thick Irish accent.
Side Note: I always thought Nina, being from Ireland, would have a thick thick accent. So bah to the voice coordinators of the Tekken anime! =P
With that note played, the whole crew headed to the check-in counter. The still shook up clerk handed the key over to Jin, who smiled and nodded politely, taking the key. "Okay..." Jin breathed. "Room C-4... hmm..."
Lei blinked. "They're putting us in an EXPLOSIVE?! Someone should call the cops on this place!!"
Hwoarang cast a cynical look at Lei. "You ARE a cop, you old idiot... and plus it's the room number, not the explosive."
Lei growled. "You have the right to remain silent."
"Break it up, break it up..." Jin mumbled. "Come on, let's go."
They all headed down the corridor. The next hour... was a hard hour. They all attempted to decide where C-4 was. It started off with Jin leading the way, down around a few corners, out into the hotel's outdoor garden, around the back of the public pool, up a few flights of stairs and then back down, and back where they started. Frustrated, Hwoarang tried to lead them around. All they got was circling the same indoor coffee shop about six times before Hwoarang got so mad he threw over one of the coffee shop's tables. Then, Paul took a stab. Out around the back, inside again, in and out of a few public bathrooms, into a few private bathrooms (*ahem*), left arm in, left arm out, shake it all about, and back where they started. Everyone was getting rather angry when Yoshimitsu pointed his kitana at something. The group turned around, and with a few blinks, realized they were in the C-section of the hotel. "Eh... heh heh... eehh... heh..."
Without a second glance they all ran down the corridor to a room marked, yes!, C-4. They were just about to unlock the door when Lei ran up, did a flying kick at the door and slammed it over. In one fluent motion he had his gun out and pointed at nothing inparticular. "Hold it!! This is a bust!!" he yelled, cocking the barrel. Suddenly a befuddled look crossed his face as he realized, there were no criminals to bust in here.
"....sorry. Old habits die hard," he apologized slowly.
Everyone sighed and entered the room, setting down their baggage and whatnot. It was then that they realized, though big the room was, it might not be big enough for all of them. Nina fumed and turned to her sister, Anna, who was filing her nails. "If ye even be thinkin' 'bout hoggin' the bed sheets, ye can kiss my Irish arse!"
Anna, in her strangely USA'd over voice, replied, "Screw you, sis."
Nina just fumed more.
Since nightfall had come, everyone decided it would be wise to pick out a place to sleep for the night. This, of course, erupted in utter chaos. I won't go into the details... but I will tell you who ended up where. In one of the two beds, Gon snuggled up next to Xiaoyu, or "Ling" as I prefer, with Kuma curled up at the foot of the bed. Er.. more like half of the bed, crumpling Ling quite a bit. In another of the beds was curled up a muttering Tiger about the ungrooviness of the situation, while he was squiggled between a huggly Panda and a drooling... Bryan. Eddy was laid out on the carpeting, blanketed by the foot rug since he had forgotten his "blankee." Sprawled out on the armchair was Hwoarang, shades drawn down over his eyes and his leather jacket used as a half-blanket. A few feet away from Hwoarang, past the glass sliding door, was Jin, looking up at the stars from a chair placed out there. Next to him was Lei, babbling about his earlier days as a cop and about how he had to win this Tournament in the name of old cop-type people everywhere. Also how much he wanted some coffee and donuts, but there wasn't a shop for them anywhere... Back inside, Julia had snuggled into her sleeping bag, keeping her pendant from her mother clutched tightly. She was, however, not asleep. With King's growling snores from under the bed, she didn't see how ANYONE could be asleep.
Anna and Law had completely disappeared for the night, saying they had 'other' plans. *cough*
Nina had propped herself against a wall standing up, already dozed off and a PERFECT target for someone to just come up and push over. And then... there was the bathroom. Dr. Boskonavitch and Gun Jack had fought long hours over the bathtub, and had, in a desperate attempt for it, both jumped in at the same time, knocking their heads on the porcelain and going out cold. Yoshimitsu sat next to the tub, Indian-style, snoozing silently. And... on the toilet... sat Paul. He had named himself official guard of the toilet paper. However, he couldn't understand how after two minutes of looking the other way, he would turn around and suddenly the roll was empty! He would go get another one, cussing to himself, put it on, and then it would be gone again after a few moments! Whoever was stealing the toilet-paper was crafty at the least...
In the kitchen, there was one senile Heihachi sitting in the sink, taking a liquid soap bubble bath and singing "Row, Row, Row Your Boat" in off-key Japanese.
*\/\/\*~*/\/\/*
Sometime in the middle of the night, Paul awoke to hear clanking in the kitchen. He yawned hugely and stared sleepily at the toilet paper roll. "God, God dammit!!!" It was gone, yes, GONE. Again.
He scratched the back of his head and thumped into the kitchen. What he saw made him scream like a girl. A ghostly figure was dancing around the room, knocking over chairs and wine bottles while Heihachi floated in the center of the room singing "Brother John" in Bangcockanese. Paul gaped at the ghost, having a sense of familiarity with it. Then he gasped in recognition.
"It's the ghost'a Wang!! The old drunk dude from Iron Fist 2 or uh... somethin'."
The ghost cackled. "Hoo hoo!! Ya figured me out, there!" Wang took another swig of some ghost bottle. "Hoo boy... lemme tell you, there, Pauly.. Pauly Shore, whatever... when you're dead... wow man... it's like... you're dead..." He took another drink. "And wow you sit there and ya say... ya say hey there, Wang.... you're DEAD!!" Wang laughed.
A sweatdrop began to form on Paul's forehead. "So uh.. whaddaya want, there, ghost Wang dude?"
Fire flashed in Wang's eyes. "I want... REVEEEEEENGE!!!!! I never... *hic* won any of those daaamn tournaments... and.. I WANTED...*hic* Hehe... Um... I wanted.. hm. I wanted to WIN!! Hoo boy did I... whoo... wanna win. You bet... but NO! NO!! Always that... what's his name... uhh... the Mishima boy... YES!! Kazuya and Heihachi Mishima... always... *hic* wow oh buddy hey I tellin' yooooou... they always won. Because you know why huh?! DO YOOUUUUUU know, no ya don't otherwise I wouldn't be sayin' but hoo... yeah... they beat me and uh... yeah they're in for it hoo boy yeah!! *hic* All'a ya stopped me and NOOOOOOOOWW I will have my..." Wang paused to think for the right word. "AVEEEEENGE--No. REVEEEEENGE!! Hoo yeah."
Then, without another hiccup, the ghost of Wang disappeared. Heihachi fell to the ground, changing from the Bangcockanese Brother John to "I Ain't Got Nobody" in what appeared to be Scandinavian.
*\/\/\*~*/\/\/*
The next morning, once everyone had awaken, Paul attempted at describing his ghostly encounter. He wanted to say, "The ghost of Wang was here, and he is upset that the Mishima family has continually beaten him, so now he is out for his revenge against not only the Mishimas but to everyone who has beaten him. That includes most of us." Unfortunately, this was Paul, and it came out more like "Ghost!! Wang!! Here!! Upset!! Damn Mishimas!! Beaten!! Drunk!! Going to kill!! Sucks!! Ack!!"
After some pondering over what the hell Paul was trying to say, they figured out what he had intended on saying. Hwoarang shook his head. "I know what he meant by 'drunk.' Paul must have gotten into the alcohol and had an episode..."
Paul pointed a finger at Hwoarang. "Y'can jus' shut up there, ya little punk, hmmm?"
Hwoarang growled and glared at Paul. "At least I'm not an old punk...!!"
Paul jolted to his feet and got in Hwoarang's face. "WHO Y'CALLIN' OLD, Y'WIPPER SNAPPER?!?!"
Hwoarang's left eye twitched. "...wipper snapper? Man... you really ARE old... how many years? 55, 60...?"
Paul's eyes bulged like an anxious bulldog's. "What... the hell... you.. say.....?!"
Hwoarang smirked and brushed some hair out of his eyes. "I said... you really are old. Is your hearing going, too?"
Paul was so red he looked like a tomato with a bunch of veins popping out of it and it appeared his eyes might pop out of his head. Plus the steam venting out his ears was fogging up the room, so Jin stepped in. "Hwoarang... Paul... stop it. This is no time for fighting. If what he says is true about Wang, we could all be in deep trouble. After all... you can't hit a ghost with physical blows, and that's what we're all good at."
Hwoarang sneered at Jin. "Watching too much sci-fi, Kazama? And who made YOU boss, anyway? You're just a pansy..."
Jin growled lightly. "Do you have any better ideas, smart-ass?"
"...I didn't say that..." Hwoarang hesitated. "But I'll bet I could come up with one!"
Jin scoffed. "Yeah, sure... you didn't even graduate high school, like I did."
"Well, at least I'm not a momma's boy!!"
"Watch it, you street trash Korean!"
"Jo momma!"
"Grr... that's it!!"
Jin tackled Hwoarang and proceeded to carry out a fight between the two right there and then in the hotel room. "Did they say something about Aunt Jemima syrup?" Paul wanted to know in-between the battle cries.
Ling rolled her eyes. "Jo momma..."
Paul gasped. "What did'chu say 'bout my momma?!"
"..."
After Hwoarang and Jin had succeeded in making shambles of their room, they went to talk to Paul again about what he had seen, taking it more seriously this time. The first person to come up with a semi-good idea was Nina.
"Aye!! An idea, have I! Since the ole' ghost of Wang be haunting this here room we be in, perhaps it be a better plan ta get a new room. Do ye not agree, laddies an' lasses?"
Jin nodded enthusiastically. "That would be wise... especially since Hwoarang and I put a few holes into the walls as it is."
Hwoarang shrugged. "Not my fault you're so HEAVY WEIGHT that you break everything."
Jin growled. "So who was it that went through the wall right into the kitchen, tubby?"
Hwoarang tackled Jin and then they proceeded to put even MORE holes into the wall. You could almost hear the money draining out of Law's credit card - which happened to be paying for the room.
*\/\/\*~*/\/\/*
That morning, a few members of the ragtag group set out to get a new room. The only people who didn’t tag along were Paul, Hwoarang, Jin, Yoshimitsu and Heihachi. They all set out for the outside lounge area. Well… Heihachi just came with so he could wash his face in the pool… but other than that, everyone wanted to check out the entire hotel’s landscape.
As they stepped outside the sliding glass doors of the hotel’s back lobby, Hwoarang ran out ahead of everyone. He looked around a little and then turned back to everyone. “What the hell is this supposed to be?”
Jin blinked, looking around as well. Then he laughed, causing Hwoarang to shoot him a glare that could peel paint off walls. “What’s so funny?”
”Nothing,” Jin replied, shaking his head. “This is an indoor garden. It’s just here under a roof and glass as a nice tunnel to lead us out to the pool and outdoor gardens.” Jin paused a moment, then smirked at Hwoarang. “Never been in a nice hotel before?”
Hwoarang shrugged nonchalantly and started walking down the garden tunnel. “I’m just not spoiled,” came the reply.
Jin caught the poke in the comment that he thought he was spoiled, but that didn’t matter. He knew he wasn’t spoiled… so what more was there to that?
Suddenly, an unseen white light moved out of a wall and hovered over the group a moment. Then it darted downwards, seeming to suck itself into Yoshimitsu. No one really noticed anything until Yoshimitsu started to shake a real lot, as if he were convulsing. Then he suddenly whipped out his glowing kitana. “OOGA BOOGA BLAH BLAH BLAH!!” He then ran forward, doing a forward frontal kick at Paul.
”WHAT THE FUCK!?AAAHHH!!!” Paul was pegged unexpectantly in the face. Yoshimitsu did a quick turn, then launched a quick slash with his sword at Hwoarang. Hwoarang urked, and using a quick fluent motion, ducked down and to the side. He arose in full stance, yet wearing a puzzled expression.
”What the hell are you DOING?!”
Yoshimitsu laughed like a maniac, his tongue hanging out of his mechanical mouth, and then ran down the garden corridor, screaming “OOGA BOOGA BLAH BLAH BLAH!!” the whole way.
Jin and Hwoarang stood there a moment, dumbfounded. Then finally they snapped out of it. “WHERE does he think he’s going?” Jin wanted to know.
”Ehh… I don’t… know?” replied Hwoarang.
Suddenly a great splash could be heard, followed by a loud chorus of “OOGA BOOGA BLAH BLAH BLAH!!” Jin looked at Hwoarang, and Hwoarang looked back at Jin. After a second of panic, they both simultaneously stated where they knew Yoshimitsu was.
”The pool.”
They ran to the poolside and stared into it in horror. Yoshimitsu was there all right, buzzing and throwing sparks everywhere, his mechanical body parts not able to take the water. A light film of electricity seemed to crackle over the water, and there, getting electrocuted from his early morning “bath” was Heihachi, hair frizzed out to the sides of his head more than ever and singing “Lightning Crashes” in Mandarin Chinese.
Jin shook his head. “In that state, Yoshimitsu will never be able to participate in the Tournament…”
Hwoarang shrugged. Just as Hwoarang was about to say his usual apathetic comment, a whitish light arose from the sparking Yoshimitsu. It swirled up above the pool, and slowly formed Wang’s face. It sneered down at the boys and the old bathing man, and then said in a bellow that seemed to be formed from a hurricane…
”Hoo buddy yeah baby boy I’m gonna GETCHAAAA weeeee!”
Hwoarang stepped back a bit, while Jin’s jaw dropped. Then the apparition floated down a corridor toward a wall, and then seemed to go right into it, leaving not a trace behind. The ghost’s appearance left Hwoarang and Jin quiet and maybe more “shocked” than Heihachi (huaha… er... bad pun). At least now they knew Paul was telling the truth, and something had to be done.
Just then, Paul came stumbling around the corner. He was rubbing the place on his cheek where Yoshimitsu’s foot had landed, and was obviously kinda out of it. He looked dully at the still Jin and Hwoarang, and then at the sparking water and Yoshimitsu, and lastly a singsong Heihachi. “Eh… what the fuckin’ fuck is fuckin’ goin’ on in this fuckin’ place?”
Hwoarang seemed to snap out of his shocked trance, and turned around sporting a sarcastic smirk. “Geez, Paul, if we took the word “fuck” out of your vocabulary, you wouldn’t have a vocabulary.”
Paul gave Hwoarang a face that showed he clearly didn’t understand the joke. Hwoarang sighed. “It’s not funny if I have to explain it again!”
Jin sighed. “Oh come on, Hwoarang, we’re running out of funny comments in this story, do something interesting…”
Hwoarang frowned. “It’s always me, isn’t it?” He then hopped out of the frame of the hotel and the pool, into a white type room with a chalkboard, in a tuxedo and tie. “Okay… when I told Paul ‘If you took the word ‘fuck’ out of your vocabulary, you wouldn’t have a vocabulary’—“
He paused to write the comment on the board. “Now… see… that was a direct pun to how many times he used the word ‘fuck’ in the previous statement. He had said ‘Eh… what the fuckin’ fuck is fuckin’ on in this fuckin’ fuck of a fuckin’ place?’ As you can see, that contains a lot of the usage of the word ‘fuck’.”
Hwoarang then wrote Paul’s sentence on the board. “Now, if I cross out the word ‘fuck’ in Paul’s previous sentence…” Hwoarang crossed out the word wherever it appeared. “…he would have said ‘Eh… what the is on in this of a place?’ Because he used ‘fuck’ so much, the sentence seems shorter and it doesn’t make any sense. So without the word ‘fuck’ Paul wouldn’t have much of a vocabulary since the word makes up so much of his sentence.”
Hwoarang took a bow as the lady members of the audience went wild with cheers and much swooning. Hwoarang grinned and stepped back into the hotel scene, back in his regular clothes and to his correct spot. Paul had a dumb grin on his face. “Ohhh I get it.. hey…” his grin turned to a frown. “Why you little punk!!”
Hwoarang smirked and then turned to Jin. “Well Mr.-High-School-Graduate-and-onto-College-Next-Fall, what are we going to do about this?”
“I… I really don’t know…” Jin replied, looking downcast. “I was hoping after that explanation the author would get tired of writing and she’d give up on this fic which she keeps assuring everyone she’ll never finish.”
”Hmm… we’re completely messing up her fic right now as it is…” Hwoarang scratched the back of his head again. “I know!! Wanna have a fiesta?!”
Jin and Paul appeared in a pair of sombreros. “Olé!”
Amy then stomped in with a mallet and pounded every member of her cast until they went according to script. After a moment of being dazed, Jin, Hwoarang and Paul were able to get back on track. Suddenly Hwoarang blinked a few times, and then realized being pounded with a mallet had given him an idea! A very stupid idea, but none-the-less, an idea.
”Hey, hey, guys!”
Paul and Jin turned to look at Hwoarang. “What?” ventured Jin.
The young Korean grinned broadly, and motioned for them both to come closer. “Here’s what we’re gonna do…”
*\/\/\*~*/\/\/*
”This is a really stupid idea, hmmm?!?” Paul whined. “These suits are all itchy an’ shit, and these guns don’t look enough like the real thing, mmkay?!”
Eddy looked over at Paul, and tightened his backpack. “Hey! Be quiet, mon! How we ever gonna pass as da ghostbusters if ya don’t play da role, mon?”
Nina muttered something under her breath. “Why do I have to be Egon, eh?!”
”You’re the only blonde, you stupid bimbo!” said Hwoarang, scratching at his back where the tag from the cheap Ghostbusters Halloween costume was making him itch really bad.
Heihachi had been singing to the annoying Ghostbusters song in some language no one could even distinguish, and it was starting to wear on everyone’s nerves. Jin, very skeptical of this plan, turned to face Paul.
”Paul, are you sure the ghost will come?” he inquired.
Paul nodded vigorously. “Hell yeah! That ghost’ll come or else I’ll… uh… I’ll kick him so hard his head’ll go high-flyin’, hmm?”
Hwoarang glowered at Paul. “You can’t kick what’s not there… we’re just going to scare it away.”
”I still say it’s stu-pid!” sung out Ling.
”It is not!” growled Hwoarang. “Didn’t you ever watch Ghostbusters? Those ghosts never stood a chance, dude!”
Jin sighed and shook his head. “Oh, man, we’re doomed! We’re not the real Ghostbusters, though… we’re just a bunch of world-class martial artists in cheap costumes!”
”Yeah.. that makes us better!” grinned Hwoarang.
”…like I said… we’re doomed.”
Suddenly Nina piped up. “EH!! I am not the only blonde ‘ere!! Why do I have to be Egon, the smart nerdy one, when Paul is blonde, too?!” she pointed at Paul, who was biting at the suit and trying to scratch an itch in that unreachable spot between his shoulder blades. Hwoarang looked at Nina and raised an eyebrow.
”You want him to be the smart one?”
That shut Nina up.
Suddenly, the air in the room grew cold, and Paul stopped itching like a mangy dog. “That’s him, hmm?! That’s the ghost’a Wang for sure!!”
Everyone who was not a Ghostbuster immediately hid in some corner of the room. Before jumping under the bed, Jin hit “play” on the tape deck, which began to play the Ghostbusters’ theme. Paul started to boogie down and bust a move, but Hwoarang hit him hard over the head and said that the Ghostbusters did not boogie until the ghost was defeated. “I think you’re just a punkass who’s watched too much Ghostbusters, hmm?”
”…no.”
”Hey, did you know Egon was a brunette in da movie, mon?!” Eddy asked.
”Do shut up,” requested Jin. “You’re just going to cause more arguments!”
Just then, Wang’s apparition began to form in the center of the room. His ghostly eyes stared down “The Ghostbusters”, but they showed no fear! Only Eddy ran out of the room screaming. So… okay yeah maybe ONE did but everyone else stood their ground! So ha!
”HOOO yeah buddy boy baby baby baby boooooy!! What the *hic* HELL is this here huh there hmm?” Wang’s usual bottle of alcoholic beverage appeared, and he took a long swig.
Paul took up a dynamic pose. “I am Sailor John Vinkman of the Ghostbusters, hmmm?! In the name of.. uh… John Vinkman I will right ghosts and triumph over spooky shit like yourself, hmmm?! That means you!!”
Wang gave “The Ghostbusters” a skeptical stare. “…are you reeally the Ghostbusters… there.. buddy.. little boy there hmm? Eh? ARE YOOOOUUU no you can’t be!!”
Hwoarang pointed at Wang. “You better believe it! We were called here to get rid of you!”
Wang laughed. “OH YEEAH BUDDY BOOOOYYyyyyyyyy….?! By who there eh?”
Everyone looked at Hwoarang to explain who, since they didn’t know. He scratched the back of his head. “Well.. uh.. there was… uh… yeah yeah! There was this really dashingly good looking guy… yeah… I think he was Korean… he called himself.. I don’t know, maybe you’ve heard of him… the Blood-Talon?”
Everyone was getting just plain mad now.
”Well uh… yeah… this Blood-Talon… I mean.. you want to talk about a perfect amount of good-looks, suave attitude, and brains! Whoa! This guy was a fuckin’ genius man… well… uh.. yeah he called us cause he’s sooo grea—“
”Why you little punk!! It was my idea! Er.. I mean, uh.. hmm.. Paul’s idea! Greatest martial artist of all time, ya got that, hmm?!”
”NO, it was me! No… Nina! AYE! That lass knew what she was talkin’ about, thar!”
Heihachi jumped out. “NO! IT WAS I! BANANA KING, HEIHACHI! HOO HOO!!”
Everyone gasped. Well, damn. Now their cover was blown.
Jin crawled out. “Grandpa, you are such an idiot!”
Heihachi did a little dance. “THANK YOU THANK YOU!! HAH HEEY! The Kiinnnnng has entered the buildin’, ladies and gentlemen… heh heh hoooo boy!
”HA HAAA!! THERE’S THAT MISHIMA LAD!!” Wang cackled, and he threw the bottle away. “Now you.. uh.. SPPPPYYYY!!!”
Everyone blinked and scratched the back of their head.
”…oh wait.. heh.. um.. *hic* I meant ta say DIIIIEEEEEE!!!”
”Oohh… I get it!” Paul grinned. “…why you little punk!!”
”No matter!! Yer all gonna pay nooooowww!!” Wang closed his eyes, and began to glow a ghostly white. Well I mean… of course it was ghostly… aw.. gimme a break here! Hwoarang didn’t waste a minute. His instinct told him to drop the phony Ghostbuster act and kick this ghost’s sorry apparition of an ass. So… he attempted just that. Dropping the heavy backpack full of useless things that Ghostbusters always wear, he leapt up into the air to execute perhaps the most perfect Hunting Hawk, all three kicks perfectly poised for the enemy. Sadly, Hwoarang had forgotten his earlier advice to Paul, which was, you cannot hit what is not there. He went right through the ghost, and with a cry of alarm, plummeted into one of the chairs. This greatly angered Paul. Nobody dodged Hwoarang’s kicks but him! …not that he’d ever dodged one of Hwoarang’s kicks, but jealousy can be rather blind. This caused Paul to also run and jump into a double kick at Wang, but once again, he just went right through. Of course, this made Nina mad, because only she was aloud to make Paul look like an idiot dodging the hits. Once again, jealousy became very very blind. And when Nina missed, it struck Anna. Then Ling. And so on and so on. But still the ghost gathered this white energy into it’s palm, until it seemed all but hopeless for our heroes.
But just then! When all seemed lost! A voice rung out from the depths.
”Wang!! Your time has come, you degenerate!”
Wang turned around, the energy dissipating, and a quiver of fear on his face. “N-n-n-no! Not you! HOO BOY! Not now! I’m THIIIISS CLOOSSSSSEEEE!!” Wang gestured a very tiny amount between his forefinger and thumb.
Suddenly, a spectral image of none other than Kazuya Mishima appeared in the room. He was tightening one of his gloves, and had that classic smirk. “It’s time to go, old-timer.”
”*hic* No! No no no! …and no! Yooouuuu have no idea how close I am to getting rid of your stupid family!”
”Well if I didn’t do you think I’d be here saving my son?”
”….yes.”
”…” Kazuya shook his head. “No matter. You’re coming with me, now.”
Jin stood with wide eyes. “D-dad?!”
Kazuya just simply grabbed Wang by the back of the shirt, and then looked at Jin, still smirking. “Jin… you’ve grown much. But your mother wanted me to deliver a message to you.”
Everyone gasped. Jun had sent Jin a message from beyond! …assuming Jun is dead. Jin took a deep breath and nodded. “What’s the message, father?”
”She says… eat your vegetables… clean your room… and don’t forget to wash behind your ears.”
”…oh.” Jin’s left eye twitched. Hwoarang snickered.
And with that said and done, Kazuya dragged Wang off and they both disappeared against the wall. The whole way, you could hear Wang’s pitiful cries. “I WANNA KILL ‘EM AAALL!! I WAS THIIIIIISS CLOOOOOSE!! CAN I HAVE MY WHISKEY BACK?! I WANNA DRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNnnnnnnnnnnkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk….” And just like that… they were gone.
Everyone sighed. “Well…” ventured Jin. “I guess that’s it, then, huh?”
”Oooo Jiiin-daaarling! Eaat your veggiiiees! …heh heh heh, God, that’s funny…”
”Grr… take that back, Hwoarang!”
”OooOOoooOo what would Mommy say if she saw you being so rude! She’d die again!”
”That’s it!”
And, as Jin began to pound on Hwoarang, everyone smiled at each other. At least the crisis was over, and things were back to… well… normal. Yet, as everyone else was relieved, Paul stood, thinking and considering the question that still had not been answered to him, and would perhaps haunt him the rest of his life.
Who HAD stolen that toilet paper?
THE END!
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