A Doomful History

Years ago Doom traveled as a child with a group of gypsies led by his parents Werner and Cynthia. Doom's mother was just like anyone else's mother. Doom doesn't see what all the fuss was about. Doom means, sure she killed every newborn in Latveria as a result of a pact made with the evil demi-god Mephisto, in exchange for her soul, but these things happen! Just a moment, Doom wipes a tear from his cheek. Doom's mommy was killed by a spear thrown at her heart. Doom vows revenge. Doom will do all he can to revive his mother's soul which is presently being held in limbo by that doofus Mephisto. Doom is bummed out. Doom is angry. And when you're talking about Doctor Victor Von Doom you're talking about someone who just wants his mommy back.

Ok. Doom is ok now. Doom is sorry for his display of disgusting emotion. Doom went through a box of "evil" kleenex. Doom will continue with his tale. Doom's father was also a successful sorcerer. Not the guy you see pulling bunnies out of hats, mind you, no this guy folds his arms while floating in a ball of fire and pulls lions out of his ear while cutting himself in half and putting himself back together. What can Doom say? Pappa Doom held it down yo! One day a powerful Baron asked Werner to revive his lost wife. When Pops failed Doom and his father were driven deep into the Balkan Mountains by the Baron's armies. The Baron eventually killed Doom's daddy. After Doom's hissy fit, Doom vowed revenge. Oh, people will pay says Doom. Asses will be desimated. So is the word of Doctor Victor Von Doom.

Doom is sad. Doom is frustrated. Doom is raiding the 'fridge and gorging on vanilla bean ice cream, sobbing with a box of "evil" kleenex by his side. But Doom moves on. So it was that Doom lived on his own. Doom made his living moving from village to village selling magical "golden statues." Doom chuckles to himself. The statues would turn into sand after Doom would leave. Doom is SOO bad! Doom is such a prankster! Thereafter Doom found his mommy's magic tools and quickly became a master of the arcane arts. Doom was also very smart. A genius, in fact. Smarter than you! loser! Do you hear Doom? Doom is the most intelligent one here! He was noticed by the Dean of science in America and offered a scholarship in the US. Sure Doom wasn't the "popular" kid on campus, but you shouldn't poke fun at Doom just because he didn't wear the hip clothes and listen to the jammin music. Doom can boogy. Doom could party if Doom chose to. Doom was a busy man. Doom then met Reed Richards, the man who would go on to be Mr. Fantastic of the fabled Fantastic Four. Doom made plans for a machine and left them on Doom's desk one night as Doom went out for tacos. Reed Richards dropped by and saw th notes. Looking over them Richards noticeda flaw in Dooms plans. When Richards pointed out the mistake Doom was outraged that Richards would question his intelligence. The experiment failed leaving a scar over Dooms eye. Doom blamed Richards for this failure and grew to hate Richards. Mr. Fantastic! Ha! Doom mocks your fruity name! You can't see it, but Doom is raising his middle finger at you Richards! Go to hell!

Due to failure of his machine and the accident Doom left the college. Doom traveled to Tibet. Silly Doom! What was Doom thinking?! In Tibet Doom studied magic and amassed a following of Monks. He made the monks construct his armor. When they finished it Doom was excited. Doom was anxious. Doom burned the crap out of his face and like a dumbass put on his mask before it cooled off. Of course, Doom meant to do this on purpose! Doom is a genius and smarter than you'll ever be remember?!? The armor responded to his movements, actions, and mental commands. He can shoot laserbeams from his fingers and fly and make a force-field around him and bake a cake in his trousers! Well maybe not the cake thing... Doom isn't actually a doctor. It just sounded cool to Doom. He then took over Latveria and renamed the capital Doomstadt. Other cities in Latveria include Doomsburg, Doomwood, and Doomton. Clever eh? Yes Doom thought these names out very thoroughly.

Doom doesn't like the Fantastic Four. Once he was defeated by them and was sent deep into space where he was picked up by the Ovoids, a race of ultra-intelligent aliens. They taught Doom how to transfer his thoughts and conscienceness to another body. Once Doom even died during a battle but transferred his conscienceness to a man it New York then reconstructed his old body. And you thought Doom was uncool! Doom had a son named Kristoff. Doom went off on a perilous journey but before doing so ordered his Doombots to transfer his memories to Kristoff from a computer, should Doom not return alive. A Doom insurance policy if you will. After a long wait the Doombots presumed Doom to be dead and transferred his memories to Kristoff. An accident happened during the transfer and now Kristoff believes he is the real Dr. Doom. Crazy kids. No respect. Now Doom has been shunned from his own castle by his Doombots who believe Kristoff is the real Doom. Since then Doom has been somewhat of a loner, recieving supplies and lodgings in return for his services. He frequently goes on road trips and sometimes returns to Latveria to try and reclaim his throne. At one point Doom even ruled the entire planet but forfitted his throne because he got bored of the lack of competition. Doom is the man! Doom is hardcore! And when your talking about Doctor Victor von Doom your talking about THE biggest pimp in the galaxy!!