1000 Ways To Waste Time Part 2
Panic
Peel an orange
Peep through a keyhole at an office meeting
Phone a friend and resolve a disagreement
Phone someone in your office to see if they are bored
Phone up an airline and find out how much it would cost to travel to London
on Concorde
Phone up someone in the company you do not know and say hello
Photocopy pictures of places you would like to visit from an old history
book
Photocopy your hand
Pick a day to take your children to the park
Pick off old nail polish
Pick the worst team you can think of in your favorite sport
Pick your nose
Pickyour teeth with a toothpick
Place a collection of new magazines in the bathroom for guests to read
Plan a bank robbery
Plan a camping vacation
Plan a day at your favorite beach
Plan a day when you stay at home sick and lie in bed and do nothing
Plan a Halloween party
Plan a night out with your best friends at your favorite restaurant
Plan a trip in a hot-air balloon with your partner
Plan a trip to Europe if you have not been there
Plan a visit to a local historic building
Plan how to give up smoking or any vice
Plan to achieve an ambition
Plan to dispose of a body
Plan what to do with the money when you win the state lottery
Plan what you will cook for dinner this evening
Plan what you would do with one ten hours to live
Plan your retirement
Play a card trick on a friend
Play a game of gin rummy
Play a tune on a cup with a spoon
Play a tune on a rubber band
Play a tune on your teeth
Play a tune on your teeth with a pencil or ballpoint pen
Play a tune with your tongue (make galloping sounds)
Play an imaginary harmonica
Play cards with a colleague
Play cards with a group of workmates
Play music to your plants
Play solitaire
Play solitaire and cheat
Play with a hole in your teeth with your tongue
Play with the candy wrapper while you eat the candy
Play with the keys or money in your pocket
Play with the things on your desk
Play with worry beads
Play with your watch strap
Play your boss at checkers
Play yourself at chess - and cheat
Play yourself at tick-tack-toe
Play yourself at tick-tack-toe
Pluck your eyebrows
Polish a peach
Polish and shine an old coin
Polish spectacles
Polish your nails
Pop air out of the pockets in plastic sheet materials
Practice juggling
Practice balancing a dime on its edge
Practice bandaging your finger
Practice belching
Practice blinking with one eye and then the other
Practice blowing smoke rings
Practice body-building in a mirror
Practice different handwriting styles
Practice drawing perfect circles without a compass
Practice drinking from a cup while lying down
Practice farting
Practice folding your suitjacket for your next business trip
Practice forging your boss's signature
Practice hand shadow art
Practice insulting hand gestures
Practice levitating
Practice magic card tricks
Practice making strange faces in the mirror
Practice making paper cutouts
Practice rubbing your tummy and rubbing your head at the same time
Practice signing someone else's signature
Practice telepathy with your workmates
Practice the Mona Lisa smile
Practice the skill of clicking your fingers
Practice throwing crumpled up pieces of paper into the wastepaper basket
Practice touching your chin with your tongue
Practice touching your nose with your tongue
Practice walking on on leg
Practice writing a letter without looking at the paper
Practice writing your name with the hand you don't usually write with
Practice writing your signature left-hand
Practice your swimming skills by lying across a stool
Pray for an easier life
Pray for something good to happen
Predict which football team will win this year's Super Bowl
Press the cap of your ballpoint pen in and out
Pretend you are walking on the moon
Pretend gou are a race car driver
Pretend to be a bird
Pretend to be dead and lie very still
Pretend to dance around the room with Fred Astaire
Pretend to hold a gun and shoot people as they walk by
Pretend you are a statue
Pretend you are speaking to someone on phone
Pretend you can walk on the ceiling
Pretend you have lost your memory
Promise not to swear ever again
Promise to become a blood donor
Prune and shape the company bonsai tree
Puff up your cheeks and make squishing sounds with your mouth
Puff up your cheeks with air in your mouth
Pull down your cuffs and fiddle with the buttons widdle your thumbs
Pull off the petals of a flower reciting "she loves me - she loves me not"
Pull up your socks
Push back the cuticles on your nais
Put cotton balls in your ears and imagine you are deaf'
Put markers in books on topics of interest
Put the books on your Shelf in Order of subject
Raise hell
Raise your hat to an imaginary passerby
Read a book upside down to see if anyone notices
Read a map of the places you will never ao to
Read a newspaper
Read a tourist brochure
Read all of itoday's mail again
Read an old TV Guide
Read any section of a dull book
Read every entry in this book, holding it at arm's length
Read Genesis and give an estimate for the cost of creation
Read Ludwig Wittgenstein's Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus
Read the acknowledgments of a book
Read the annual financial report of a major corporation - and figure out its
real value
Read the Chinese take-out menu and chooseyour lunch
Read the ingredients on a sauce bottle
Read the obituary column of your local newspaper
Read this book right through again
Read this book with one eye shut
Read your horoscope in an old newspaper
Read your own fortune in a teacup
Rearrange tapes
Rearrange the boardroom furniture
Rearrange the office
Re-arrange the workspace
Recite the alphabet backward
Refill your fountain pen
Refill your staple gun
Rehearse your excuses for when you are caught in an embarrassing situation
Remember a long-lost relative or friend
Remember a sad moment
Remember a special day
Remember a trip to Europe
Remember all the people at your bus stop on the way to work
Remember all your old addresses
Remember an embarrassing moment as a child
Remember an old friend
Remember items in this book that have been repeated
Remember last Friday's hangover
Remember the age when you wore a bra
Remember the last time you won money at cards
Remember times when you were at a beach as child
Remember what you looked like when you were young
Remember where everything is in your living room
Remember where you've seen aarge clock (and what time it was)
Remember your childhood
Remember your fauorite song
Remember your first day at work
Remember your first girlfriend or boyfriend
Remember your first kiss
Remember your last train journey
Remove hairs from your clothes
Remove the chewing gum from underneath chairs and tables
Remove the dead flies from the lampshade
Remove the pee from an apple in one continuous piece
Repot the oflice plants
Reserve some tickets for a show
Rethink what was said to you yesterday
Retie your shoelaces
Ring your own phone number to check that your phone is working
Roll up bits of paper and throw them at friends
Rub the rim of a glass until it "sings"
Rub the sides of your nose with your thumb and forefinger
Rub your tummy while tapping your head
Run around the office as though someone were chasing you
Run naked around the office
Say "Oh, dear me" repeatedly
Scratch a spot
Scratch your arm where it is not itching
Scratch your eyebrow with your finger
Scribble on an old fax
Search for faces in the wallpaper
Search our hair for lice
Search the local telephone directory and call people with the same name as
yourself and ask whether they are relatives
See how ar down a chair you can slide before you fall to the ground
See how far you can reach up your back with your hand
See how long you can hold your breath
See how many different positions you can get your desk lamp to go in
See how many different writing implements you can find
See how many times you can fold up a piece of paper
See how many ways you can write the name of the town you live in
See how many words you can make from your own full name
See what your name spells when you write it backward
See who has the most money in their pockets and make them buy lunch
Seek an understanding of your future in the pattern of coffee grinds in your
cup
Select a name for your house
Send messages to colleagues via your computer
Send someone you love a gift
Set a clockwork mouse off around the office
Shadowbox
Sharpen all your pencils
Show a friend sexy photos
Show colleagues cartoons of your boss
Sing a song in the style of your favorite popstar
Sing arias from operas very loudly, waving your arms around at the same time
Sing your favorite song
Sit and catch people's eyes as they walk by
Sit and cross and uncross your legs
Sit and stare out of the window
Sit and think about why you work where you do
Sit and worry
Sit at a colleague's desk while they are not there
Sit facing a blank wall
Sit in as many different positions as you can in the same chair
Sit on the floor
Sit on the stairs
Sketch your workmates when they are not looking
Slurp your coffee to distract everyone
Smoke a cigar
Smoke pot in the storeroom
Snarl at someone you dislike
Sneak up behind a colleague and try to tie their shoelaces together
Sort out all your used envelopes
Sort out old newspapers and magazines
Sort out the rubber bands in the stationery drawer
Sort out used ballpoint pens
Spin a coin
Split a pencil to see if you can get the lead out in one piece
Squeeze the zits on your face
Stack up used paper cups and then knock them down
Stand and sit continually for thirty seconds
Stand holding a chair and swing alternate legs backward and forward
Stand On One leg for a month
Stand on your desk and wish everyone "Good morning!"
Stand on your head
Stand on your head and recite your favorite poem
Start an argument with colleagues
Stick ex libris plates on your books
Stomp on plastic cups
Straighten the picture on the wall
Straighten the wire clothes hangers in the closet
String together rubber bands
Study a map of a region you are unlikely to ever visit
Study the controls of a space shuttle so you can pilot the ship back to
earth
Suck peanuts
Sulk
Surprise someone at work you don't know by taking them a cup of coffee or
tea
Swat a fly
Swing on your chair
Take all the dead matches out of matchboxes
Take the bulb out of your desk lamp and replace it
Take up yoga
Take your pulse
Talk for hours on the phone
Talk to a colleague about your favorite schoolteachers
Talk to a friend about a problem at home
Talk to angels
Talk to fairies
Talk to the office plants
Teach yourself to play the spoons
Tear an old telephone directory in half
Tease a workmate
Tell a friend what happened over breakfast
Tell someone a spooky campfire tale
Tell someone to calm down
Tell someone you just really don't care
Test the pens on your desk
Test your eyes using an eye-testing chart
Test your IQ
Test your memory by writing down what you did yesterday
Thi nk what you would do if you inherited a mansion
Think about cleaning your children's bedrooms
Think about haw big this dinosaur's toes might have been after seeing its
thigh bone
Think about how humans evolved
Think about how lonely astronauts must feel up in space
Think about looking down from a great height
Think about sex
Think about your favorite type of tree
Think back to when you last mowed a lawn
Think how long it would take you to draw the Bayeux Tapestry
Think of a caption for the two pictures below
Think of a comic you read as a child
Think of a different thing you could do during your lunch break for the next
two weeks
Think of a famous person you would like to draw or interview
Think of a job you would not like to do
Think of a new route to get to work
Think of a new use for a strange tool
Think of a news story for an employee newsletter
Think of a spot in the countryside you have longed to visit
Think of all the things you can sell that you don't really need
Think of an animal for each letter of the alphabet
Think of five people you would give a medal for bravery
Think of how you would fire someone if you were the boss
Think of something you would prefer to be doing now
Think of ten climb the stairs to work in a suit of armor
Think of ten excuses you could have used to stay in bed this morning
Think of ten reasons why you should not get married
Think of ten reasons why you should get married
Think of ten ways to cure a hangover
Think of ten ways to get away with murder
Think of the day you got married
Think of the reason why there are entries in this book
Think of the ten most beautiful women in the world
Think of the ten most handsome men in the world
Think of uses for every room in your own castle
Think of your favorite soccer goal and imagine yourself as the goalkeeper
Think qf ten ways to get into a castle unnoticed
Think up an advertisement using a toucan
Think up the most unlikely business trip
Think what graffiti you would write on the toilet walls
Think what would be your favorite sight from the crow's nest of a ship
Think what you could do with three extra fingers
Think what you will bring back as presents for friends and relatives from
your next vacation
Think what you would do if you lost your job
Think what you would do with three wishes from your very own genie
Think where you would like to be buried when you die
Think who you would take away with you for a dream weekend
Throw a fit
Throw all your problems at someone else
Throw away old credit cards and business cards
Throw playing cards into a hat
Throw things at people from your office window (then hide)
Throw your paper airplane to someone, if you haven't already
Tidy your office drawers
Tidy your work area
Tie knots in a piece of string
Tie little bits of string into one long piece
Tie up your shoelace with only one hand
Torment the cat
Toss a coin in the air as high as you can without hitting the ceiling
Toss a coin ten times to see how many times it comes up heads
Toss a dime from your forearm onto your hand
Touch your toes
Trim your nose hairs
Try a self-portrait
Try and remember your parents' zip code
Try on hats from the hat stand
Try to add letters to a notice to change its meaning
Try to catch nuts in your mouth by throwing them in the air
Try to curl up your toes
Try to find a baby sitter and arrange a night out
Try to get a dent out of a Ping-Pong ball
Try to guess the color of objects while blindfolded
Try to imagine what your children are doing
Try to look at the end of your nose
Try to move a coin by telepathy
Try to pick up small objects using crossed fingers
Try to read a page of a book upside down
Try to recall the names of kids in your elemental scool
Try to recall the periodic table
Try to recall your earliest thoughts
Try to remember the Gettysburg Address
Try to remember old group photos and the names of everyone in them
Try to remember old jokes
Try to remember the color of your friends eyes
Try to remember the formula for the volume of a sphere
Try to remember the license plate numbers of a the cars you have ever owned
Try to remember the name of the tiny man in The Maltese Falcon
Try to remember the order of Ten Commandments
Try to remember the tune of the Warsaw Concerto
Try to remember what is the most you have ever drunk on one occasion
Try to remember what you are supposed to be doing
Try to remember what you did last week
Try to remember what you did this time last year
Try to remember where you put last year's Christmas list
Try to remember who got drunk at the office party
Try to remember who taught you chemistry in college
Try to remember who told them
Try to remember who was the class "brain" when you were fifteen years old
Try to remember who won old national sports events
Try to remember with how many airlines you have flown
Try to see down your throat with a mirror
Try to see the minute hand of your watch moving
Try to slide as far down a chair as possible without falling off
Try to wiggle your toes
Turn out your pockets and brush off the fluff
Turn the radio on and find the most boring channel
Twist around and around on your chair
Twist the end of an imaginal mustache
Twist your face into different shapes
Twist your legs around the chair in which you are sitting
Type an anonymous letter to someone and send it through inter-office mail
Type your curriculum vitae
Untangle t:he telephone cord
Untangle the cords on your blinds
Visit a friend
Wait until your boss leaves, then blow a raspberry
Wake up a friend
Wake up your grandparents with a phone call
Walk about quickly so you look busy
Walk around the building looking busy
Walk up and down
Wander around the office looking busy
Wash out old fountain pens
Wash your hands
Watch a friend work
Watch a friend working and mimic their habits
Watch a sunset
Watch the clouds to see which way the wind is blowing
Watch water run down a window pane
Water the plants
Wear a fancy hat for an hour
Whistle a tune
Whistle out a tune
Wind up your watch
Wink at someone across the room
Work as slowly as a snail or a giant tortoise
Work out how much you could save if you gave up smoking or other activities
Work out how to pay for your dream car
Work out how to spend this week's paycheck
Work out number puzzles in your head
Work out the perfect murder
Work out the real meaning of life
Work out what percentage of your salary you spend on going to work
Work out what time it is in Tokyo
Work out your height in meters
Work out your weight in kilos
Write a letter of protest about some local urban development to the relevant
government officials
Write a letter to a famous person who is dead
Write a letter to Santa Claus
Write a letter to the Prime Minister of Britain
Write a limerick
Write a poem
Write a rude note to your bank
Write down all the people that you really care about
Write down ten reasons why you belong to your religion (if you are
religious)
Write graffiti on toilet walls
Write letter to a friend
Write lyrics to Ravel's Bolero
Write out your favorite poem as small as you can
Write the year in Roman numerals
Write the first paragraph of a comedy or a tragedy for the theater
Write to the author of this book
Write to the author of this book and thank him for wasting your time
Write words in the mist formed by your breath on a cold window or mirror
Write your autobiography in brief
Write your date of birth in Roman numerals
Write your epitaph
Write your name and address in mirror writing
Write your name on your office cup
Write your obituary
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