This is my tribute to one of the funniest shows
ever, Sifl and Olly. This page is mainly to introduce people to Sifl and Olly who don't
already know about them, so if you're a hardcore S&O fan already, you might want to check out some of the better pages at the bottom, where
by the way, I stole much of this material.
Please. It will help alleviate my guilt.
What is Sifl & Olly?
The Sifl and Olly Show is the greatest variety show ever- sock puppet style. Every episode Sifl and Olly, along with their friend Chester,
interview guests, sing the most hilarious songs, take disturbing calls from the public,
host a home shopping network show called Precious Roy, and much more. And no, the show is not all blue.
The Hosts
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| ...is the sanity of the show. Mellow, intelligent,
and great ninja, he enjoys pissing off his long
time friend, Olly, by getting him in trouble with
his mother. Sifl has a reputation of being a
terrible business man and is always making bad
deals (he spent money from the show to by a
used ice-sculpture). He hardly ever comes
through with the interviews he allegedly books.
He doesn't have much common sense, but he is
a smartie. |
...is the talent of the show. Aspiring to be like Bob
Dylan, David Bowie, and Axel Rose, this sock
loves to sing! He's wacky, a real party-animal,
and one hell of a salesman. He's not too book
smart, but he's smooth with the lines. The
women love him and he's had his share of
sockettes. He's flamboyant, he's loud, and he's
so very fashionable. |
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...is the sidekick of the show, and not quite "all there". He's cute, he's lovabele, but
when it comes to understanding the simplest of
things, he's lost. He's the kind of
guy who finds fascination in bubbles, chasing
ice cream trucks, and making artwork out of
toothpaste. He loves attention but doesn't
handle well under pressure. He's very naive
which is half his charm and although he's a real
lady's man (he'll take you out roller skating), he
never gets much beyond dreaming of that
special girl. |
Elements of the Show
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| SONGS- The best part of the show! My favorites are 'The Panda Song', 'United States of Whateva',
'Olly Moondust', 'Hellfire', 'Ninja of the Night', 'Tangerine', 'Peformance Art', and Chester singing 'Seasons in the Sun'. |
INTERVIEWS- They never fail to entertain with guests like the grim reaper, the planet mars, the tooth fairy,
orgasm & g-spot, the president's shadow, sex girl, the godfather, the rulers of the lost city of Atlantis, and many more. |
CALLS FROM THE PUBLIC- Yell into your phone!
The duo takes calls from other socks via their view-cam. The best group of calls is definity the Waffles in VCR/Seagulls took my sister/Scarehooker
set. Oh, and the one about Juan. |
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| PRECIOUS ROY- A Home Shopping Club type of show run by a cranky, bitter old man. Some of the past
products have included: Insta-Jerky, Civil War Corpses, Ass Lift, Scare Hookers, Squirrel Zapper,
and the ever famous Bottomless Pool. |
A WORD WITH CHESTER- Chester introduces the guys at the beginning of the show and later you, the adoring Chester fans, get to
learn a little about him (did you know that Chester slept his way to the top?). |
LETTERS TO CHESTER-
During the second season, Chester was given a second segment on the show.
In this segment, Sifl and Olly read Chester questions his fans send in, and hilarity ensues. |
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| NEWS- a news show that never fails to get out of hand. Constant conflict between
the 'news casters' makes it a great segment, not to mention the psychic traffic report, news for the animals, and Olly rapping the news. |
ROCK FACTS- Bulls**t lies that Sifl & Olly make-up. Except, of course, when they are talking about David Bowie. Those are 100% true.
Did you know the ancient Egyptians built the Great Pyramids in anticipation of the coming of David Bowie? Rock.
|
ALMOST THE END OF THE SHOW: This segment comes almost at the end of the show (never saw that one coming) and usually ends
the show with a song. And now I'm just typing to fill up space. Type type typeity type type. |
My Favorites
Yes, I am lame. I don't feel like doing sound files or video clips, so screw it. You'll just have to read all the fun.
MY FAVORITE SET OF ROCK FACTS:
Q (Sifl): What male singer has been in every single rock band since the year 1975? The answer coming up.
A (Sifl): The answer is Bjork. Bjork has been in every rock band since 1975 in some way.
Olly: That's not true.
Sifl: Oh, yes it is.
Olly: No, it's not.
Sifl: Mm Hm.
Olly: No
Sifl: Mm Hm.
Olly: Um, I think it's not.
Sifl: Well, it is.
Olly: Ok.
Sifl. Ok.
Q (Sifl): What rocker started out in the entertainment industry as magician David Copperfield's first
assistant? Find out after the break.
A (Sifl): Magic Man David Copperfield's first assistant was Bjork.
Olly: No it wasn't! Leave Bjork out of these facts.
Sifl: Alright!
Olly: Bjork is a mystery...
Sifl: Alright!
Olly: ...not to be questioned or thought about!
Sifl: Ok, we just make all of them up anyways.
Olly: BJORK IS OFF LIMITS!
Q (Sifl): What is the secret link between Baywatch and Bjork? Find out in a moment.
A (Olly): Absolutely nothing! I can't believe you would think that Bjork
would have anything to do with Baywatch! Shame on you.
Q (Sifl): Ok, what do Bill Cosby and female rockstar Bjork have in common?
A (Sifl): Both Bjork and Bill Cosby did voices on the show Fat Albert. As...
Olly: No they didn't! Will you stop this about Bjork? If you knew the
intensity and the fantasy and the esctasy of space, love and expression...
Sifl: Alright, alright I will stop!
Olly: ... you would know you don't touch the world of Bjork.
Sifl: I'll stop.
Olly: Bjork!
Q (Sifl): What human oddity will forever link Bjork and Will Smith?
A (Olly): What links Bjork and Will Smith is NOTHING! ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!
Don't compare or link Bjork to anything. That's all.
Q (Sifl): What does the Wu-tang Clan have in common with the Grateful
Dead and Bjork? You'll find out in just a minute.
A (Olly): What does the Wu-tang Clan, the Grateful Dead and Bjork have in common:
NOTHING! Don't compare Bjork to anyone! She is off limits! No linking her,
no comparing BJORK...
Sifl: Ok, ok, ok!
A FEW OF MY FAVORITE SONGS:
| The Panda Song
Sifl: No WAY, dude, you're outta here!
Panda Dude: I have to sing my tale to the panda!
Sifl: You can't sing... you're not a musician...don't let him do
this!
Panda Dude: This next song is the new first song on our new
album.
Olly: WHAT?!
Panda Dude:
This is not a rebel song... This is.. the PANDA!
After dark, the pandas stalk,
Nightmare creatures, with black hearts.
Ravenous teeth that glow in the dark,
Feasting on bums that sleep in the park!
The pandas are coming!
So hide under your beds!
The pandas are coming!
They'll rip your ass to shreds!
(Sifl: get out of the studio
Olly: yeah, get out of here, dude
Sifl: Hey, Pandaboy
Panda Dude: I SHAN'T!)
The panda is indeed the most mysterious of all creatures
Shrouded in the enigma of his black and white coat
What kind of camouflage is this, black and white?
Hiding in an Oreo factory? Could be!
That's just another chapter in the ominous saga of the panda!
The pandas are coming
To rip off your head!
The pandas are coming
On a rampage of the dead!
Like the shark, the panda has millions of teeth
Which it uses like a hacksaw to cut through bone, candy, and
fences...
Olly: That's a lie.
The Chinese believe that if you find a discarded panda tooth
You have the power to summon Godzilla
Sifl: Wow.
I'm drunk on panda mystery!
The pandas are coming!
So hide under your bed!
The pandas are coming!
They'll rip your ass to shreds!
This has been chapter 1 in my ongoing songs about the panda,
which shall cease at number 820. You will see me again, Mr.
Sifl!
Sifl: Just get a clue.
Panda Dude: Get a PANDA!
|
Performance Art
Performance art
I'm the king
So grab a hammer
Nail me to something
Let's go
To the park and maybe eat a fur coat.
Spray me with blood
And write
The word "guilt" all over my face
Hurry up
I'm the King of Performance Art!
Let's go to the park
Saturday
I'll eat one hundred apples
While you burn
My feet
Until I scream and people gather around!
Performance art
Is my gig
I'll stab myself while you
squeal like a pig
Jessica
Can work the crowd and pass out literature.
The critics won't
Understand
No one will, they're programmed
by the Man
So lets, take these manekin parts down to the park.
Performance art...
Oh we're so f**ing dark!
Performance art...
Oh, we're so f***ing dark!
Performance art... performance art!
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Tangerine
Tangerine! Slip inside my big-ass Lincoln
Tangerine! I know ladies love velvet dashboards
Tangerine! Damn, that girl's dress is revealing
Tangerine! Eating lobster with my bitches
Makin', love yeah!
Tangerine! I can't wait to take you back to my crib!
Tangerine! Get undressed and get in my round bed!
Tangerine! I put on my robe and my platform slippers
Vaseline! All aboard the electric stallion!
Makin' love, yeah!
Awww yeah, baby...
[Chester, get out of here, dude... we're bein' sexy...]
Chester:
I'm sexy...
Tangerine! Got some cereal in my pocket
Tangerine! I can't wait to make you nauseous
Makin' love... nauseous
Now I'm nauseous... god, now I'm nauseous... I'm sorry, I feel
bad...
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Ninja of the Night
Like the shadow serpent
Silence is my veil
yes, and with precision of the cobra
Ninjas kill and leave no trail.
We know ancient stuff
And we have fun, fucking things up
For instance,
In the confusion of a smoke bomb,
I could remove your bra and you wouldn't even notice.
I could jump roof to roof, and get my friends free cable
It's BAD-ASS!
I used my chinese star
to pick the locks and steal your car
Rock & roll
NINJA OF THE NIGHT
NINJA OF THE NIGHT
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MY FAVORITE CHARACTER:
Ah, the kind-hearted, easily amused, cereal lovin' Chester.
