Disclaimer: Marvel owns the X-Men, not me. The song at the beginning, "Jubilee," is written and performed by Mary Chapin Carpenter, and is from her album, Stones in the Road. Garth Brooks performs "Shameless" and it’s on his Double Live album. I’m making no money off this. Don’t sue.
Summary: Wolverine and Jubilee try to rebuild their friendship after years apart and discover that maybe things between them have changed more than they realize… (Part three in a series) Fluff waning. J
Rating: PG-13
Author’s Note: Like with part one, if you don’t like W/J romantic pairings, DO NOT read this! The only two X-Men in this story are Wolverine and Jubilee and there is definitely romance. You have been warned. As always, flamers will be teleported to Ancient Rome and fed to hungry lions. Constructive criticism is welcomed with open arms, but flaming is just rude! Also, if you like this or any of my stories PLEASE visit my homepage at https://www.angelfire.com/scifi/addielogan. It has all my stories as well as my fanart. I’d also like to say thank you to all the nice people who gave me feedback on the first two parts of this story.
Feedback and Archiving: Feedback please! If you’re reading this at fanfiction.net, please be nice and make use of that little review form at the bottom of the page. I’ll be eternally grateful. J Also, if you’d like to archive this anywhere, feel free, just let me know where you’re putting it. You can send me an email at addie_logan@yahoo.com or message me through AIM at Addie Logan218.
Back Where the Sun Can Find You: Stronger
By: Addie Logan
I can tell by the way you're walking That you don't want company I'll let you alone and I'll let you walk on And in your own good time you'll be Back where the sun can find you Under the wise wishing tree And with all of them made we'll lie under the shade And call it a jubileeAnd I can tell by the way you're talking That the past isn't letting you go But there's only so long you can take it all on And then the wrong's gotta be on its own And when you're ready to leave it behind you You'll look back, and all that you'll see Is the wreckage and rust that you left in the dust On your way to the jubilee
And I can tell by the way you're listening That you're still expecting to hear Your name being called like a summons to all Who have failed to account for their doubts and their fears They can't add up to much without you And so if it were just up to me I'd take hold of your hand, saying come hear the band Play your song at the jubilee
And I can tell by the way you're searching For something you can't even name That you haven't been able to come to the table Simply glad that you came And when you feel like this try to imagine That we're all like frail boats on the sea Just scanning the night for that great guiding light Announcing the jubilee
And I can tell by the way you're standing With your eyes filling with tears That it's habit alone keeps you turning for home Even though your home is right here Where the people who love you are gathered Under the wise wishing tree May we all be considered then straight on delivered Down to the jubilee
'Cause the people who love you are waiting And they'll wait just as long as need be When we look back and say those were halcyon days We're talking 'bout jubilee
Slowly, Jubilee opened her eyes. She looked up, her gaze meeting Logan’s. Concern was written across his worn, craggy face, and Jubilee fought back the urge to panic. Did he regret what had happened between them the night before? "Please," she begged silently, "don’t let this be bad."
"Good morning," she said.
Logan ran his thumb gently across her soft cheek. "Good mornin’."
Jubilee smiled. He didn’t seem upset. He hadn’t run off, and he wasn’t ordering her to leave the bed. She figured those were good signs, but she had to know for sure. "Is there any regret?" she asked.
"As long as I haven’t hurt ya, no."
Jubilee moved closer to him and placed her hand on the side of his face. "You haven’t hurt me."
"Does this mean I’ve got ya?" Logan asked with a grin.
Jubilee laughed as she moved even closer, pressing her body up against his. "Yeah, Logan, you’ve got me."
Unable to find the right words, Logan settled for kissing her with all the passion he had inside of him.
*** *** ***
Later that morning, Jubilee sat with Logan at the small table in the kitchen, eating one-handed, while her other hand was reaching across the table to hold on to Logan’s. He looked up at her and gave her hand a little squeeze. "What is it about you, Darlin’," he asked, "that makes it so I can’t stop grinnin’ like an idiot?"
"I don’t know, Wolvie," she replied. "but I think It must be contagious."
"I’ve been feelin’ somethin’ for ya for a while, Jubilee," Logan confessed. "But I wasn’t sure how it would be if I actually did anythin’ about it. I was afraid it might be strange, y’know, with our history an’ all."
"How long is ‘a while?’" Jubilee asked.
"Ever since I got back ta the mansion."
"Is that why you kept pushing me away."
"Yep."
Jubilee laughed. "And here I was thinking you were acting crazy," she said.
Logan frowned. "Did I hear some sarcasm in there?"
"Me? Sarcastic? Never."
"Knock it off, Jubes." He smiled at her.
"If you liked me, you should’ve just said something," Jubilee said. "The feeling was mutual." She looked over at their joined hands. "Well, I guess that’s sorta obvious now."
"Really? I figured any feelin’s you had were somethin’ new; somethin’ you developed up here in Canada," Logan said.
Jubilee shook her head. "Nope. I’ve liked you since the moment I met you. Never stopped. Didn’t you notice the way I looked at you before, back when I was still a kid?"
"Yeah, I noticed," Logan said. "I just figured you woulda wised up by now."
"Yeah, one would think," Jubilee said, "but I didn’t. I didn’t realize how much I cared about you, though, until that kiss last night. I guess I’d just lived with those feelings for you for so long that when I saw you again and they came back, I didn’t even realize they were anything special."
"You think of them as somethin’ special now?" Logan asked, caressing her hand with his thumb.
"Yeah, I do. I’m definitely feeling more for you than an adolescent crush."
Logan laughed. "That’s certainly good ta know."
"So you really don’t have any regrets?" Jubilee asked.
"Darlin’, I’ve never been surer of anythin’ in my life."
Jubilee jumped up from the table, ran over to him, and threw her arms around him. "Oh, Wolvie, I’m just so happy! I can’t believe this is real! I mean, we’re together and…oh, Logan, this just feels so right!"
Wolverine grinned from ear to ear as he pulled her into his lap and held her tightly to him. "I know, Jubes, I know," he said, kissing the top of her head. "I’m real happy, too."
*** *** ***
Logan stopped Jubilee outside the door of Carrie’s Place. "You sure about this, Jubilee?" he asked. "You looked pretty embarrassed last night when they saw us kiss."
"Yeah, I’m sure," Jubilee said. "I’ll doubt they’ll say too much—not with you around anyway. Besides, Carrie’s my friend, and I’m not going to avoid her just because everyone in her bar saw us kissing on the dance floor."
"You know they are gonna say somethin’, though," Logan said. "Most of ‘em have too much of a mouth not to."
"That’s all right," Jubilee said. "I kinda like the idea of them all knowing you’re mine now."
Logan gave her a quick kiss. "Let’s go then."
All eyes in the bar turned to Logan and Jubilee as soon as they walked through the door. Wolverine let out a slow, menacing growl, and the bar’s patrons quickly went back to whatever they were doing before. Jubilee giggled as she and Logan walked hand in hand to their usual booth.
Carrie hurried over to them. "Can I get you two anything?" she asked.
"Never seen service quite this speedy, Carrie," Logan said. "You really over here ta get our drink orders?"
Carrie did her best to look innocent. "Of course!" she said. "Why else would I come over here to see two friends of mine that kissed and then rushed outta my bar last night?"
Logan patted Jubilee’s hand. "I’m gonna go away for a minute and let you two get all your ‘girl talk’ outta the way," he said.
"Okay, Sweetie," Jubilee said with a giggle.
"See ya in a minute, Baby," Logan replied, kissing her once before sliding out of the booth.
As soon as Logan was gone, Carrie took his place. "'Just friends,' huh?" she said.
"We were!" Jubilee said. "We just, um, upgraded the relationship."
"So I noticed." Carrie gave Jubilee an impish grin. "So is he good in bed?"
"Carrie!" Jubilee exclaimed.
"Well? C’mon, you know you know!"
Jubilee turned red. "I’m not answering that question."
"You don’t have to," Carrie said. "Your blush is all the answer I need."
Jubilee glared at her.
Carrie chuckled. "So are you two serious?"
Jubilee looked over at Logan. "I think so. You can never quite tell with him, though. He scares easily."
"Somehow that doesn’t surprise me," Carrie said. "I wish you two nothing but the best, though. Logan needs a good woman in his life."
"Hope I can be what he needs," Jubilee said softly.
Carrie patted her hand. "I think you are. I’ve never seen Logan look at anyone the way he looks at you."
"You never saw the way he looked at Mariko. Or Jean," Jubilee said.
"Who were they?" Carrie asked.
"Past loves. I don’t know if I could ever compare to either of them," Jubilee explained.
"Don’t sell yourself short," Carrie said. "They may have been his past, but from the way he acts around you, Honey, it’s obvious you’re his future."
Jubilee tried to clear her head of any thoughts of Mariko or Jean. "I hope you’re right."
Carrie glanced up and saw that Logan was walking back towards the booth. "Well, I’ve got customers and it looks like your man is on his way back. Want me to bring you two your usual?"
Jubilee smiled at the thought of Logan being "her man." "Yeah, Carrie, that would be good," she said.
Carrie smiled as she got out of the booth to make room for Logan. She gave him a nod as he slid past her and then she went to get their drinks.
*** *** ***
Logan carried Jubilee into the dark cabin. She’d been starting to drift off back at Carrie’s, and she’d fallen completely asleep on the ride home. He brought her into the bedroom and lay her down on the bed. She opened her eyes and stared blearily up at him. "Are we home?" she asked.
Logan smiled down at her. "Yeah, Darlin’, we’re home."
Jubilee sat up and pulled off her outermost sweater, then started to take off her shoes. She looked up at Logan, who was just standing there, watching her. "Are you going to come to bed or are you just going to watch me all night?" she asked.
"You don’t mind me sleepin’ in here with ya?" he asked.
"Um, Wolvie, in case you’ve forgotten, we’re kind of moved past the you sleeping on the couch phase of this relationship."
Logan smiled again. "Yeah, I thought we had, I just didn’t want ta assume that last night set any precedents," he said.
Jubilee stood up and started changing into her nightclothes. "Well, I think it’s safe to assume that last night set a lot of precedents."
Wolverine grabbed her by the waist and turned her around to face him. "Good, ‘cause I sorta liked last night," he said.
Jubilee reached up and took hold of the hair on the side of his face, moving his mouth closer to hers. "Yeah, so did I," she said as she kissed him, the exhaustion she’d felt back at the bar melting away.
*** *** ***
"Are you sure you’ll be okay if I leave you here alone all day?" Jubilee asked as she put on her coat.
Logan gave her a dirty look. "I think I’ll manage."
"I don’t know," Jubilee said. "It seems like whenever I’m not around, you get into trouble."
"Jubes, I get into trouble when ya are here," Logan replied. "Hell, half the time I get into trouble because you’re here."
"Well fine, I guess I’ll just have to stay away from you from now on then," Jubilee said in mock-offense.
Wolverine growled as he grabbed her by the waist and pulled her to him. "Don’t you dare."
Wolverine’s close proximity and the wild look in his eyes made Jubilee’s cheeks flush. "I have to go," she said. "Carrie will be here any minute and I don’t want to make her wait."
"Maybe I don’t wanna let ya go," Logan said.
Jubilee smiled at him. "Well, I’m getting out of this cabin for the afternoon, and unless you want to go shopping with us, I suggest you let go."
Logan’s hands dropped to his side. "Last thing I want ta do is go shoppin’ with a couple of women—‘specially if you’re one of those women."
A car horn honked outside and Jubilee kissed Logan good-bye. "See you tonight," she said turning around to leave.
Logan grabbed her hand and spun her around so he could look into her eyes. "You be careful, okay," he said. "I don’t know what I’d do if I ever lost ya."
Jubilee kissed Logan again. "Don’t worry, Wolvie," she said. "We’re going to be together for a long time."
*** *** ***
Logan sat alone on the couch. In the past, Wolverine had always welcomed the chance to spend some time by himself, but now—without Jubilee—he just felt lonely. He thought about how much she’d changed from the young girl who’d rescued him in the Australian Outback all those years ago, how she’d grown into a smart, strong, beautiful woman.
"I don’t deserve her," Logan thought. Still, knowing that didn’t mean he was going to let her go. It only meant he had to do everything in his power to keep her, lest she figure out she could find someone better, younger. He had to do his best to act like the kind of man she did deserve.
"That didn’t help ya keep Jeannie." Logan did his best to push that thought away, telling himself this was different. But what if it wasn’t any different? What if Jubilee decided that he wasn’t really what she wanted, the same way that Jean had? Logan shook his head. He had to find something to keep himself busy while Jubilee was off with Carrie. He knew his day would go by painfully slow if all he could think off was all the things that could make Jubilee leave him.
Logan got an idea and smiled. Sure, it was going to take a lot to keep Jubilee with him and happy, but maybe this would be a start…
*** *** ***
Jubilee walked into the cabin to find it completely dark. "Logan?" she called.
As soon as she said his name, a dim light flickered in the back corner of the room, and she saw that Logan had lit two candles that set on the table. She gave him a puzzled look. "What is this?" she asked.
"I thought maybe we could stay in tonight," Logan said. "A romantic dinner for two sorta thing."
Jubilee wasn’t sure if she should hug him or run away in terror. "A what? Who are you and what have you done with Wolvie?"
Logan chuckled as he walked over to her and gave her a hug. "What, a guy can’t just decide ta do somethin’ nice for his woman now and then?"
"Well, yeah, I guess, but I never thought you were the type, I mean…"
Wolverine silenced her with a kiss. "Just accept it as me tryin’ ta show ya how much ya mean ta me—how much I love ya."
Jubilee froze when she heard his words, and Logan could’ve sworn he saw a tear form in the corner of her eye. "What?" Logan asked.
"You’ve…you’ve never said you love me before."
Logan took her face in his hands and looked into her eyes. "Well, I’m sayin’ it now. I love you, Jubilee."
"I love you, too," Jubilee said, surprised at the fact that she was actually able to speak.
Logan pulled her against his chest again, holding her so tightly that she almost had a hard time breathing. "I love you," he whispered into her hair. "No matter what happens, don’t ya ever doubt that."
Logan held her for a few moments longer, relishing the feel of her warm body close to him. Reluctantly, he pulled away. "Hungry?" he asked.
Jubilee nodded. "Yes."
He smiled and took her hand. "C’mon then. Let’s eat."
*** *** ***
Jubilee finished the last of her dinner. Again, she found herself to be glad that Logan could cook since she had never been blessed with any real culinary talent. "Thanks for dinner," she said.
Logan grinned at her. "You’re welcome. I felt like ya deserved somethin’ nice from me for a change. Somethin’ a little more classy than hangin’ out in a smoky bar all night."
"I don’t mind going to Carrie’s Place all the time with you, Logan," she said.
"I know," he replied, "but I figured at least once we should spend sometime just the two of us. I mean, those all barflies are great, but we deserve a little time alone."
Jubilee nodded. "I agree. Thank you."
Logan stood up and walked over to her. He reached down, took her hand, and helped her up from her chair. "Dance with me," he said.
"There’s no music," Jubilee replied.
"I can fix that." When Jubilee just continued to look at him with uncertainty, Logan added, "I like dancin’ with ya. It feels nice, holdin’ you like that."
Jubilee smiled at his admission. "Okay, let’s dance."
Jubilee was surprised when he opened a cabinet in the living room and revealed a small CD player and a stack of CD’s. "I didn’t know you had that," she said.
Logan scanned his music collection searching for something to play. "Sometimes when I’m up here by myself I get sick of having nothing to listen to but my own thoughts," he explained.
"Yet another thing I never knew about you," Jubilee said.
Logan looked over his shoulder and smiled at her. "I’m just full of surprises, Darlin’." He chose a CD, put on a song, and then walked over to Jubilee, wrapping his arms around him. She responded in like and rested her head on his well-muscled shoulder. The song began, and Jubilee found herself listening closely to the lyrics.
Well, I’m shameless
When it comes to loving you
I’ll do anything you want me to
I’ll do anything at all
And I’m standing here for all the world to see
Oh baby, that’s what’s left of me
Don’t have far to fall
You know now I’m a man who’s never been
Insecure about the world he’s living in
I don’t break easy, I have my pride
But if you need to be satisfied
I’m shameless, oh honey, I don’t have a prayer
Every time I see you standin’ there
I go down upon my knees
And I’m changing, swore I’d never compromise
Oh, but you convinced me otherwise
I’ll do anything you please
You see, in all my life I’ve never found
What I couldn’t resist, what I couldn’t turn down
I could walk away from anyone I ever knew
But I can’t walk away from you
Jubilee clung tighter to him as she listened to the song, realizing he was using this to say the things that he couldn’t quite say on his own. As strong as Logan was, Jubilee knew he’d always had a hard time voicing his emotions, and that this much was probably difficult for him. Any doubts she had about their relationship faded away as the song played on and Jubilee lost herself in Logan’s arms.
I have never let anything have this much control over me
I work too hard to call my life my own
And I’ve made myself a world and it’s worked so perfectly
But it’s your world now, I can’t refuse
I’ve never had so much to loose…
Oh, I’m shameless
You know it should be easy for a man who’s strong
To say he’s sorry or admit when he’s wrong
I’ve never lost anything I’ve ever missed
But I’ve never been in love like this…
God, it’s out of my hands
I’m shameless, ‘cause I don’t have the power now
I don’t want it anyhow
So I got to let it go
Oh I’m shameless, shameless as a man can be
You make a total fool of me
I just wanted you to know
Oh, I’m shameless…
*** *** ***
Later that night, Jubilee lay next to Logan in the bed, curled up against his chest with his arms wrapped protectively around her. "Does this scare you at all, Logan?" she asked.
Even in the dark, Jubilee could tell he was frowning. "What do you mean?" he asked her.
"It’s just the way we fell for each other so hard, so quickly. I mean, I know we’ve been friends for a long time, and we already knew each other really well, but this—I’ve never felt anything like it before." Jubilee sat up a little. "I guess what it is is, well, I knew this guy in college—Brian—and although it was different from what I feel for you now, I thought I was in love with him, that he was "the one," you know? But in the end, I discovered that nothing had been what I thought it was. I don’t think I ever really loved Brian, and from the way he started acting towards me, I don’t think he ever really loved me, either."
Logan sat up so he could pull Jubilee back closer to him. "Trust me, Darlin’, this is the real thing. I’ve known a lot of women in my life—even loved a few of ‘em—but there’s only been one other time that I’ve felt anythin’ like what I’m feelin’ now and that was definitely love."
"When?" Jubilee asked.
"Mariko," Logan said softly.
Jubilee was stunned by the fact that Logan had actually compared their relationship in any way to the one he’d had with Mariko Yashida. Jubilee had never thought that she could ever be anything to Wolverine like the woman who had been the greatest love of his life. "Not even Jean?" Jubilee asked.
"No, not even Jean. I loved her, sure, but this connection I feel with you—it wasn’t there. I guess that’s what she has with Cyke."
Unable to voice the hundreds of thoughts and emotions that were running through her head, Jubilee just pulled Logan in for a deep, passionate kiss.
*** *** ***
Logan stared across the living room at Jubilee, who was currently engrossed in a book. She looked up. "What?" she asked.
"Nothin’."
"Logan, you were staring at me. That’s not ‘nothin’."
"What are ya readin’?"
"Emily Brontë, Wuthering Heights." She looked down at the book, then up at Logan, then down at the book, then back up at Logan.
"What?" he asked.
Jubilee giggled. "You’re Heathcliff," she said.
Logan glared at her. "Not funny."
"Why not?"
"’Cause I’ve read that book."
"You’re kidding."
"Nope, I really read it. Boredom can drive ya ta do some strange things. And I’m not half as crazy as that Heathcliff guy."
"Whatever you say, Dear. So why were you staring at me?"
"When?" Logan asked.
Jubilee sighed. "Don’t play dumb with me. Just a minute ago. I think you were about to burn a hole in my forehead."
"I was just thinkin’."
"About what."
"Who was Brian?"
Jubilee looked down at the ground. "Just a guy I used to know."
"You said last night that ya thought ya were in love with him," Logan reminded her. "Sounds ta me like he was more than just ‘a guy you used ta know.’"
"Well, he was, but that’s all over now," Jubilee said.
"What happened?"
Jubilee looked up at him, anger flashing across her blue eyes. "Why do you even care? Can’t you tell I don’t want to talk about it?"
"I didn’t want ta talk about Jean, but I told ya what happened between us anyway," Logan said.
"Logan, that isn’t fair."
Wolverine shrugged. "I’ve never believed in fairness."
Jubilee sighed, realizing he wasn’t going to let up. "I met him in my geometry class my sophomore year of college. He was a math major, so he tutored me some. After a while we started dating, and things got pretty serious. Hell, we even talked about marriage. At the end of my junior year we got an apartment together a little ways away from the campus, and I thought we were happy. But I guess Brian didn’t feel the same way, because shortly after we graduated he left me for someone else. That’s when I decided to come back to the X-Men."
Logan was silent for a moment as he processed everything Jubilee had told him. Logically, he should’ve realized she’d probably had at least one serious relationship before him—she was twenty-three after all—but he’d never given it any real thought. "Broke up with him right after college, huh? Guess it was pretty recent, then."
"You’re not a rebound, if that’s what you’re thinking."
"It’s not."
"Good."
"What was he like?" Logan asked.
"Why are you asking me that?" Jubilee questioned.
"Just curious," Logan said, unsure of why he was asking himself. Did he really want to know anything about the man she’d loved before him?
"What’s with all the sudden curiosity in my love life?" Jubilee asked.
Wolverine shrugged. "Don’t know. Guess it has somethin’ ta do with me bein’ a part of it now."
"You going to tell me about all the women in your past?"
"Darlin’, I would if I could, but as it is, I can’t even remember half of their names—if I ever knew ‘em to begin with."
Jubilee declined to comment on that, deciding instead to answer Logan’s earlier question. "Brian was, I don’t know, about average height, dirty blonde hair, blue eyes. He was really serious, always liked having things in order." Jubilee gave a humorless laugh. "They say ‘opposites attract,’ but they never point out that they probably won’t attract for long. At first, I liked that about him; I felt like he kept me grounded. But after we moved in together, things got bad. He wanted me to fit perfectly into his neat and tidy way of doing things. He was always scolding me for not putting things back in their places. Like when I’d leave my clothes hanging over the chair in the bedroom he’d tell me, ‘Darling, that’s why we have hampers.’ Can you believe that? I should’ve left him then. Maybe paffed him first. No, definitely paffed him first. Repeatedly. But no, I was in love." She laughed again, this one even more lacking in merriment than the first one.
"I don’t know why I was even surprised when he told me about the other woman. She was a friend of ours, and damn, she was perfect. Seeing them together, part of it felt like Everett and Monet all over again. Just another reminder that I’d never be one of them, one of the perfect girls."
Logan patted the empty space on the couch beside him. "Come here," he said.
Jubilee started not to get up, but when she saw the look in Logan’s eyes she figured she better do what he said. Logan wrapped his arms tightly around her and she leaned up against him. "Don’t think you’re not perfect, Jubilee. You’re more than perfect. Hell, I’d take you over that stuck-up bitch Monet any day." Jubilee chuckled a little and Logan smiled at the sound. "Look, obviously that Brian guy was an idiot. But you’re with me now, and I’m not gonna let you go."
"You promise, Logan?" Jubilee asked.
"Yeah."
"I won’t let you go either."
Logan kissed the top of her head. "Good. I don’t want ta lose you."
Jubilee snuggled closed to him. "You never will."
*** *** ***
As the days became weeks and the weeks months, Jubilee began to feel a little homesick for the mansion. "Logan?" she asked one morning after they’d been gone about two months, "Are we ever going to go back to the mansion?"
"Ya wanna go back?" Logan asked.
Jubilee nodded. "Well, yeah. I mean, Rogue and Gambit’s wedding is the week after next, and I sorta promised her before we left that I’d be back for that."
Logan frowned. "Yeah, I guess we should be there for that. There’ll probably be a good pool goin’ for whether or not they actually get through the whole ceremony."
Jubilee giggled. "Oh, that started ages ago. Drake and I are the only ones who put money down for ‘yes.’ We decided to pull for the underdog."
Logan chuckled. "We gotta be there for that, then. You say the weddin’ is in two weeks?"
"Yes."
"How do you feel about leavin’ day after tomorrow?"
"Works for me," Jubilee said.
"Okay, we’re goin’ back then," Logan said. He sighed, then added, "I just hope I’m ready."
Jubilee slid her arm around his waist. "You’ll be fine, Logan," she said. "After all, we’ll be together."
______________________________________________________________________________
Next time, on All my Mutants… (Sorry.) Anyway, I’m sure you can all figure out what’s happening in part four—the much-anticipated return to the mansion! Send me feedback and let me know what you think of the series so far (and thanks to all y’all who have already!). Hope you enjoyed part three!
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